You see, there's this thing called response? You know, hearing the other side and considering your follow-up in direct regards to what the other side said, not just moving on to whatever other points you wanted to get in? You know, that would require you to actually listen to what's being said with an open mind - um, hello? Hello?

Anyway, this follow-up to the comic from the other day is dedicated to some random 17-year old who tried to engage me in a debate on gay marriage over Twitter this week and declared he was winning after showcasing no grasp on civics, the Constitution, knowledge about other religions, or a willingness to answer simple questions. Thanks for wasting my time with your prejudice, kid! Can't wait to see how the real world kicks you in the ass.

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If you forget your history, you're doomed to repeat it. If you celebrate your terrible history, you're doomed to create new terrible history. But hey, at least you'll be original.

TODAY, MAY 15TH, IS STUPID DECISIONS COMMEMORATION! Maybe you remember this comic I made at the beginning of the year, proposing new holidays to celebrate? Well, May's is upon us, and it's time to party in recognition of the fact that you (and everyone else) has been an idiot many times over. We’ve all made a number of dumb choices in our lives – so celebrate this one day with friends to share the moments of your stupid decisions and hopefully laugh at them – moving you beyond them and helping others not to make the same terrible choices.

OTHER NEW HOLIDAYS: Because of Cannonball's sudden jump into my life, I kind of forgot to remind you about the holiday I proposed for last month, Frontier Day. Well, amazingly enough, a couple of you did not, and went about marking it in your own way. This comes in from Leandra:

"Not sure if you remember the post of "new holidays" but my friend and I have vowed to celebrate a few of them and today was Frontier Day. We traveled about 2 hours away got lost in a town we had never been to, ended up at a zoo and then on the way home found an aquarium. We pet stingrays and fed flamingos and did about 200 things we've never done before or thought we'd do. Thanks for the inspiration it turned out to be an extremely awesome day!"

So hopefully your celebration today will be as good as their celebration was?

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There are kids born in the nineties who can legally drink alcohol in the U.S. You're welcome for the sudden case of "temporary not-really oldness".

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And, once again, the internet has been explained in under 20 words.

Happy Mother's Day to the many mothers in my life, none of whom are ever the idiots in the arguments, despite what the other sides may think.

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Yurgle?

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Listen, I'm telling you, it's all here! Q equals W squared! It accurately predicts the number of times that, when two people are approaching each other from opposite directions, will step awkwardly side-to-side expecting the other person to go to the other side, while really they keep going to the same sides until they sheepishly smile and get out of each others' way! I solved a great unsolved mystery of life! Bask in my equation! LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE CREATED.

What? You want to see the proof? Come on, now.

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All I'm saying is that I would wear it very professionally. And yes, I would wear it to work. No, what is wrong with you?

Thought about doing a follow-up topic-wise to yesterday's comic after the big presidential announcement, but I think at some point becoming too one-note can dilute the effect or content of the rest. Still, it's been a strange week back-and-forth on gay marriage, huh? Man, it will be weird to explain all this someday to my grandchildren, you know, if they have time for me in between their many dates with robots.

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But what do I know, right? Cannonball's only three weeks old. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. But there's no way I'm letting your way be the social education my child receives.

Way to go, North Carolina. Your descendants will have a fun time explaining to their children why you were terrible.

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Eventually, you get what you're looking for, but only once your mouth has been set on fire. It's like there is no connection between a good amount of spice and flavor. "What's that? You like food that is very spicy? You mean you like being in pain, yes? No? What is this flavor you speak of?"

This comic is dedicated to my mother, who always has an accidentally heavy hand when it comes to adding spice. Happy birthday, Mom!

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But not my baby Cannonball, oh no, she's adorable. I can't say the same for all your children, though.

Shifting the color to make it seem more old-timey news was kind of fun. I would probably have enjoyed it more if I knew what I was doing.

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Paternity leave concludes with a student presentation from Donna and Daniel. Culinary themed! Delicious. Spay and neuter your pastries, everyone. Thanks, Donna and Daniel!

There were a bunch of other really great student presentations that were sent in - I have a feeling I may need to occasionally run a few of them over the next month or two, so you might see a few more appear from time to time. Meanwhile, I'm going to run many more good ones that were sent in on the Tumblr feed over the next few weeks for all to enjoy.

Thank you so much to everyone who contributed a presentation! It really was encouraging to see so many come in, and I look forward to running more on STW in the future. You kids are the best.

STW IN OTHER LOCATIONS: I'm taking over I Love Charts today. Your favorite STW charts will likely be on display, in case you care.

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Paternity leave continues with a student presentation from Josh Martin. I actually met Josh at SPX last year - turned out he was a fellow chemical engineer, so I only assume the above chart is a result of a series of experiments with appropriate reproducibility and controls. Thanks, Josh!

STW IN OTHER LOCATIONS: Tomorrow, I take over I Love Charts! Just so you know.

STW STORE: A major thank you to everyone who helped make the "CANNONBALL" sale in the STW store so successful earlier this week! I was actually contacted by a representative from Spreadshirt to ask what I'd done to be able to sell so many shirts in one day - so you can guess how well things went. I hope you all wear your new shirts with joy/pride.

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And we come to the end of the guest lecture part of my paternity leave with acomic by Rosscott! You know Ross both for his comic The System as well as his grand traveling circus like show best known as Super Art Fight - if it ever comes to your area, you might want to attend! Thanks, Ross!

Tomorrow, STW will switch back over to student presentations. But it feels like paternity leave is just about over.

STW IN OTHER LOCATIONS: Earlier this week, Jason Oberholtzer of I Love Charts put out a book collecting a number of charts and diagrams all tied together with a number of essays. I have a couple new, unseen comics (chart-based comics, of course) collected in the book, so if you've enjoyed the other work he's collected before, this might also be up your alley. Further to help mark the book's release, I'll be taking over the ILC feed on Sunday with a number of my favorite STW charts from throughout the archive. So I hope you at least check out ILC on Sunday!

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Paternity leave guest lecture week continues with multiple creations from Jessica Hagy! Her index cards are everwhere - on her great site "Indexed", on her Smithsonian blog, on her Forbes blog, and in books like Freakonomics. Maybe even accidentally among the index cards you use as flashcards when reviewing your notes from class? Anyway, if looking at a 3x5 generates any warm feelings inside you like it does me, then you'll truly enjoy her work. Thanks, Jessica!

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I am truly beyond honored to continue my paternity leave guest lecture week with a comic from the amazing Danielle Corsetto! Danielle is the creator of the great webcomic "Girls With Slingshots", which I truly hope you all already read.

Without Danielle, there would honestly be practically no STW readership. Wherever you first heard of STW on whatever site or from whatever link, you would not have seen it there if Danielle hadn't first passed on a link one night to her readers. So it really is not just an honor to have a guest comic from her because of how esteemed I hold her work to be, but also because of what STW has become as a result of one simple action by her. Thank you so much, Danielle! I owe you as much booze as I can buy for you.

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Paternity leave guest lecture week continues with a guest comic from the great Zach Weiner! You know him from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, the deeply brilliant and deeply filthy webcomic, and from his web series SMBC Theater, to which similar adjectives can be applied. He also co-hosts the podcast "The Weekly Weinersmith" with his wife, Kelly, which does an excellent job covering scientific topics without trying to gloss over high-level science research subjects or dumb it down. Major thanks to Zach!

STW SHIRT SALE TODAY! To celebrate the birth of my daugher, today and today only, there is a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL", including both new designs shown below! Thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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Paternity leave guest lecture week begins, with several great, great comic people contributing to STW for the next few days! First off is the great Chris Yates - not only is his photocomic "Reprographics" fantastic, but the hand-cut wood puzzles he makes are AMAZING. Seriously, they are not only beautiful works of art but delightful puzzles as well. Major thanks to Chris and Emily for the guest comic above!

STW SHIRT SALE THIS TUESDAY: To celebrate the birth of my daugher, this Tuesday, May 1st, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL", including the new design show below! So if you were looking for a Mother's Day gift, or a graduation gift, or just something to keep your top slightly warm, now you've got the awesome idea to match your need. Thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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Continuing the run of student presentations during my paternity leave, today's comic comes from Lindsay Thomas, rocking a Wolverine pose! And yes - this is the exactly the other reason why I nicknamed my daughter "Cannonball". Thanks, Lindsay!

STW SHIRT SALE THIS TUESDAY: To celebrate the birth of my daugher, this Tuesday, May 1st, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". So if you were looking for a Mother's Day gift, or a graduation gift, or just something to keep your top slightly warm, now you've got the awesome idea to match your need! Thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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Continuing the run of student presentations during my paternity leave, today's comic comes from Laura Matheny! Respect your teachers, boys and girls. Or they'll be forced to resort to their secret evil agenda. And you don't want to see it. Even though it involves platypi. Thanks, Laura!

TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER: On May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". In all seriousness, your support helps keep the site going, so if there's a shirt design you like (or if you want the oh so fine labcoat Laura is showing off above), it really helps when you're able to contribute. So, sincerely, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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Continuing the run of student presentations during my paternity leave, today's comic comes from Jonathan Harden! Why don't more people wearing chef's hats in public? Shouldn't they be commonly marketed with sports teams logos? Imagine if sports teams required chef's hats instead of helmets? Anyway, I digress. Thanks, Jonathan! And speaking of Venn Diagrams . . .

TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER: On May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". And to make it more worth your while, there'll be a couple new shirt designs! As always, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site. Here's the third preview of the new designs, for all you Venn lovers:

You're really telling me you don't want that on a shirt? Come on. Anyway, on sale on Tuesday!

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Continuing the run of student presentations during my paternity leave, today's comic comes from Patrick, Lisa, and Bagheera! They promise that the cat just happened to be in mid-meow in the last panel, and was not actually in pain. Thanks, Patrick, Lisa, and cat!

TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER: On May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". And to make it more worth your while, there'll be a couple new shirt designs! As always, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site. Here's a preview of one of the new designs:

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Today's student presentation comes from Petty Officer Walker, as a way of chonicling his experience with nuclear power in the Navy. While I find that a little unnerving, the pose completely reassures me we are in good hands. Thank you, Petty Officer Walker!

TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER: On May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". And to make it more worth your while, there'll be a couple new shirt designs! As always, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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And so begins my paternity leave from STW with a truly wonderful contribution from Joan Cooke! You can find more of her work on her site and through her Twitter feed. Thanks, Joan!

TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER: On May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". And to make it more worth your while, there'll be a couple new shirt designs! As always, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site.

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I kind of recommend that you don't look up a picture or video of an emerging placenta. Really, don't.

Cannonball was born early last Wednesday morning, a remarkably healthy 6 lb 8 oz girl - pretty darn good for a 35-weeker! It had been a long four weeks in the hospital, but everyone came home happy. Thank you to everyone who sent along congratulations and encouragement at any point during BABYWATCH, especially those who shared the story of their premature children. It means, meant, and helped a lot.

And yes, the goatee was shaved off with the baby beard, but considering I now look five to ten years younger, it's a look I won't be keeping for more than a week.

In keeping with that you've never seen theSwede on the site, or know her real name, I won't share Cannonball's real name. And while it's hard not to share hundreds of baby photos, I'll limit them to being shared on the various social networks, and then, only when appropriate. Or amusing.

SO, HERE'S THE PLAN FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS: Starting tomorrow, there will be a couple of student presentations that were sent in by you great STW readers. Next week, there'll be a series of guest-comics from some of your and my favorite comickers. And following that, another week of student presentations. (Actually, there were so many great student comics, I'm tempted to just run one a week for a while.)

AND TO HELP CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF CANNONBALL, on May 1st, next Tuesday, there'll be a sale in the STW store! All STW shirts will be 15% off with the coupon code "CANNONBALL". And to make it more worth your while, there'll be a couple new shirt designs! As a preview, here's one of them:

As always, thanks for being great readers and thanks for helping to support the site. Hope you enjoy the next few 'paternity leave' weeks.

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This will probably be the only comic posted on STW until Monday.

Because, holy hark, I'm a dad.

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One book once said Cannonball weighed as much as a "mango covered in greasy cheese". All the other food comparisons I could understand, but where in hark did that come from?

BABYWATCH '012 UPDATE: It's a good thing Vegas wouldn't take my bet that Cannonball would have arrived yesterday. I would have bet the entire house. And now I'd have no house.

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There's a great line in an old issue of Fables, where one character is being informed she is having more than one baby, and she says with an incredulous look on her face, "Twins? I'm having twins?", to which the doctor explains it might be more than that, to which she responds with an angry look on her face, "A litter? I'm having a litter?" Anyway, re-reading that inspired the above.

BABYWATCH '012 UPDATE: No, not yet, and I don't get it, either.

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According to the doctor on site, anyway.

BABYWATCH: Nope, still not yet . . .

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"All I'm saying is that in over several million years, no one on my side of the family ever had a tail, let alone fur all over their body."

BABYWATCH: No, not yet.

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I'd wage all-out war on my brain, but it would know what I'm planning before I could attack, and even if I did win, the results of the conflict would probably have a devastating effect on my life going forward.

I don't know why I don't do this phobia series more often. Rationalizing why we're oh so often debilitatingly irrational? It's work for the good of mankind!

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Today is the last day to send in a comic to run during my paternity leave, if you're interested in doing so! There've been a number of good submissions - drawn or photographed or whatever - so if you've got a good idea, put it together, and I look forward to seeing it! Thanks!

BLACKBOARD: Random question - if you work for a school and you're throwing out your old black slate chalkboard so you can replace it with a whiteboard, and you live within driving distance of me, well, um . . . would you be interested in donating it to STW? Let me know.

STW STORE: I'm working on a few new designs which I hope to finish this weekend - including a onesie for all the baby STW students out there - in the meantime, hey, maybe a shirt or a labcoat would make a great graduation gift! Maybe, I don't know. Take a look and see.

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Man, it seems like the best fans in the world root for all sports teams, TV shows, internet sites, authors and everything else under the sun! You may say the "We have the greatest fans in the world" is just a cliche born of emotional gratitude, but I like to think there are just rabid fans out there who like everything. Isn't that kind of a sunnier way of looking at things? Shall we call these people Panfanists?

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: I've received a lot of submissions for comics to run during my paternity leave - for which I'm truly grateful. You kids are the best readers in the world! (See what I did there?) If you'd like to offer a potential contribution as well, please send yours in by tomorrow. Thanks!

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Experimentation is going fine, and suddenly you've only got a tail in your hands, and you've got to start all over. Aren't you sick of this happening to you? I know I am.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Still accepting submissions for your comic to run during my paternity leave, as long as you email it in by Friday!

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It is my theory that jerks should be measured by percentages, NOT by volume. And if you are willing to fund my research, I will publish a series of technical, peer-reviewed papers proving this theory. Your contribution will help expand the boundaries of research in ways that will surely help mankind once we figure out what those ways will be! Until then, can I call dibs on the jerk-percentage theory as being named The Shepherd Theory? I hope I can, because I just did. Bam.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Still accepting submissions for your comic to run during my paternity leave, as long as you email it in by Friday!

BABYWATCH: Some people seem to believe that my wife has been in the hospital for the last 18 nights because she's been in labor that long - so without allowing you too much in on the details, let me provide a little more clarification. Essentially, two and a half weeks ago theSwede had scheduled a doctor's appointment, which they didn't expect much of until an examination revealed she was halfway through early labor, without having felt anything and barely at 31 weeks pregnancy. The doctors were pretty sure the baby would be born that weekend, but as one doctor put it, every few hours we made it would make it more likely we would last a lot longer. After some steroid shots to help Cannonball (the baby's name, or at least as far as you'll know) develop her lungs a bit faster, and some medicine to reduce contractions, we made it through that weekend, and since then have been trying to maintain the status quo as long as possible. theSwede's been on bed rest at the hospital, and holding the delivery at bay by drinking ungodly amounts of water a day. So there's no way we'll make it to late May - and Cannonball could still arrive any day now - but theSwede's not in labor, just very dilated, and Cannonball will be much further along than anyone expected just a little while ago. It's been a little nutty lately. In the meantime, this hospital bedside sleeping chair and I are connecting on a higher level. But thank you all for your concern.

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You're not describing statistics, YOU'RE DESCRIBING INGREDIENTS.

It's not math or demographics. IT'S A COOKBOOK.

Way to go, traitors. I hope you go deliciously with a Zorbloxian crust.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Still accepting submissions for your comic to run during my paternity leave, as long as you email it in by Friday!

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Hey, it helps explain the Eucharist.

(I AM CATHOLIC, PLEASE DO NOT LECTURE ME ABOUT YOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS.)

Happy birthday to my sister Hanna! Sorry I couldn't think of a better comic than the one above.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Still accepting submissions for your comic to run during my paternity leave, as long as you email it in by next Friday!

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The original comic images of placing a box of Thin Mints on a pedestal and exulting them with praise did not come out as well as I'd hoped. Either way, it is theSwede's birthday and she requested a comic about dessert. So here is a comic about dessert.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: Still accepting submissions for your comic to run during my paternity leave, as long as you email it in by next Friday!

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Perhpas this method will work! Or perhaps the object of your affection will be allergic. It is a crap shoot, when it comes down to it. In any case, if you don't have a cat, may I recommend any of these pick-up lines? I have been informed by multiple STW students that they are indeed successful, perhaps they will work for you, too!

BABYWATCH: The nurse at the main desk didn't believe me that the baby still had not yet arrived despite what is now fourteen nights in the hospital. She did not seem to want to hear about how I've engineered my bedside sleeping chair so I can sleep on my stomach. Which, frankly, is better than sleeping in a chair that keeps your butt about a foot lower than the rest of your body.

STW STORE: It is starting to get warmer already! Which, hey, means you might need a new t-shirt or two, right? Well, there are some great ones in the STW store! Anything you get helps support STW, for which I truly thank you. As does Sprite the cat.

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It's actually because of baseball that I always wanted to grow a goatee. Man, am I so glad baseball is back.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: If you want to contribute a comic to help me out during my paternity leave, you have until next Friday to get it in! Thank you to everyone who is chipping in, they are all great so far. Every day I can get off is another day that I get to find a way to work baby Cannonball into scenes like this; you are helping contribute to good times and potentially life-scarring events!

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There's more than one path to knowledge; it's not always the same knowledge once you get there, either. But if you think it was easy to get there, you're not at the destination you think you're at.

BABYWATCH: Still no baby. Hospital applesauce and hospital pudding, I wish I knew how to quit you.

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It's been a running joke between theSwede and me lately: "Hey, want to take a guess what Hank Steuver thought in his latest TV review?" He had a great streak going that could be best summed up by the phrase "hating everything" - including a delightful line about Mad Men not being in the business of making people happy and not being in the business of making him particular happy. But certainly there are many other critics who seem more cantankerous about television than ready to be entertained.

It's an interesting parallel in a way to scientists - scientists try to reinforce the validity of theories by highlighting and solving weaknesses or flaws in the data, while TV critics seem to be more interested in looking for flaws or weaknesses than highlighting the best work. Their discerning insight may indeed be helpful so you can avoid some of the crap that's out there, but man, what a negative way of partaking in entertainment.

BABYWATCH: Still no baby yet. In other news, I am about halfway through completely ravaging a drawer I found in the hospital kitchen that for some reason is full of individually packed saltines.

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There is an art to determining the title to a sequel. Not multiple movies down the line, because then the degree of freedom increases and degree of dificulty is far lower. That second movie, though - do you just tack on the lazy '2'? Do you change the title entirely, as in "The Dark Knight"? Or do you go the riskiest route and tack on something after the colon? There are a number of truly terrible after-the-colon titles out there that just don't really tell you anything, like the Pirates movies, but some movie titles seem to have clearly embraced their sequel status and gone for the gold. "Electric Boogaloo" truly takes the cake in this division, but "Secret of the Ooze" is severely underrated. Title-wise, anyway.

BABYWATCH: Quick related side note - when we were at the zoo a few weeks ago, we saw a giant snapping turtle, and I turned to theSwede and said, "Look, it's Tokka." That she not only understood what I meant but even dignified it with a small laugh was a good clue she's a keeper. Anyway, no baby yet.

TO THOSE READING THIS COMIC IN THE FUTURE: For those confused by yesterday's and the day before yesterday's (not yesteryesterday, get your nomenclature right) comics, today is April 2. Major credit to my Dad who came up with the idea of a time-travel related April 1st comic and let me run with it.

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Does this feel like deja vu? Well, perhaps you suffer from paradoxia. Good luck with your sanity. Don't get too caught up in the new nomenclature.

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Does this feel like deja vu? Well, perhaps you suffer from paradoxia. Good luck with your sanity. Don't get too caught up in the new nomenclature.

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Yes, I know, once you have a kid (still not here yet, by the way), you can't consider yourself young anymore, so clearly the comic was made while well-aware of my declassification from the former.

If anything, election years serve as reminders of how desperate certain groups are to hold onto things as they way they once were a long, long time ago, and how unbelievably unprepared they are for a new generation to come into its own. It was a clever move, trying to coddle kids as they grew up so that they desperately needed you in the future, but man, it sure sets up a drastically steep emotional drop-off when things do change.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: If you're interested in contributing a guest-comic to run during my paternity leave, please have yours ready to turn in exactly two weeks from today, April 13th. Email yours in when you're satisfied with it - and check past runs of student presentations for clues to successful submissions. Whiteboard, chalkboard, drawn image, photograph, whatever! Embrace your creativity.

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Oh, Sprite. You're such a happy cat with a high-pitched voice and yet you only lecture with the angriest face poses. (Side note: for all those who keep asking - the faculty page is now appropriately updated to include our feline T.A..)

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: If you're interested in contributing a guest-comic to run during my paternity leave, there's still time. Email yours in when you're satisfied with it - and check past runs of student presentations for clues to successful submissions.

BABYWATCH '012 UPDATE: Baby remains uterus-imprisoned. Bedside sleeping chair and I are beginning to connect on another level.

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And now you have a good sense of why things have been kind of hectic since Friday, and why I was suddenly asking for student guest comics for STW so much earlier. Looks like the baby will stay uterus-bound for a little while longer, but I am prepared to use scare-tactics if necessary. And that is your BABYWATCH '012 UPDATE for the day.

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It's OK to enjoy being ridiculous because you enjoy it, you know. I know some people disagree, but screw them.

CONTENT ISSUES: On an unrelated note, just this past week I found a site selling the Happiness Maze design without my permission. In the past month, I've found a number of other sites reposting STW with the URL cropped out, or a different URL pasted over the top, or - particularly on Tumblr accounts - people citing themselves as the source of the image.

While most sites and people quickly comply when I ask them to remove the content, I have been told, "Due to the large amount of exposure these images have received, it is not in our best interest to simply delete them" and told that someone else's URL reposted on the image is good for "brand awareness" - even as commenters directly below the altered image ask where the original source is.

Now, I've said this before, but I have to say it again: you cannot claim my work as your own, and you most certainly cannot profit off my work without my permission. When STW content is rehosted on a image-hosting ad site, that is a way for that site to profit off STW - none of which I will see. I don't put ads on the site for a reason.

So what most of you can do to help - as I am sure most are not among those purposely doing what's been described - PLEASE LINK DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE, NOT THE COMIC IMAGE. When you link to the image, people think the content is fair game to do whatever they want with it. Then it can be rehosted or cropped or even sold without anyone even questioning their actions - because they haven't seen the site that it originally came from. You can go ahead and share STW as you'd like - through Facebook or Twitter or Reddit or Tumblr or whatever - but when you do, please link to the page. And if there is a source option - put the STW URL in that. It's pretty easy to do, helps share STW the best way possible, and saves me a lot of headaches down the line.

Thanks!

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It's been a long, long weekend.

A REQUEST FOR GUEST COMICS: See the updates from the last two comics for more details.

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It all comes around. Oh, it ALL comes around.

A REQUEST FOR GUEST COMICS FROM YOU, THE STW STUDENTS: One of my favorite aspects of Surviving the World is that because the format is adaptable and accessible, any of you can contribute a 'Student Presentation' to run while I need time off. So if you can work out a good idea with drawn forms, photography, blackboards, whiteboard, drywall, shadow puppets, whatever - just taking the general STW set-up and run with it as best you can - I will happily run the best comics you kids send in. The sooner you can send it in, the better - but the better the idea, the better, too! Thanks, everyone.

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On the other hand, you're producing original content with your version. So just write a new tune and you've got your own amazing hit! I believe that is how the music industry works.

GUEST COMICS / STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: I am putting out a request for people to create and email in their own comics to run on STW when I head off on paternity leave. They can be drawn forms, photography, use blackboards, use whiteboard, use drywall, whatever - just take the general STW set-up and run with it as best you can. Whether you've got your own comic or not, you can contribute to help give me a little time off. The sooner you can send it in, the better - but the better the idea, the better, too! Thanks, everyone.

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Make sure to apply shampoo AFTER switching from the coffee flow.

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I'm thinking it's a good thing that many elderly, life-long hoarders never got around to becoming very tech savvy. On the other hand, I'm somewhat concerned for the younger generations for hoarders. At least when elderly creepy hoarders have a disturbing amount of porn, it amounts to a giant stack of paper in their living room, and eventually they reach a physical limit to the amount they can hoard. Digital creepy porn hoarders, though, are being constantly re-blessed by Moore's Law, and even then, being accidentally trapped beneath a stack of external hard drives for porn is strangely sadder than being trapped under a stack of old Playboys.

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But if you insist, we can go on debating the validity of your interpretation. Did I say debating? I meant, outright accepting. By the way, since you're no longer my kid, you've been written out of the will.

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This would have to be some manipulation of the fourth dimension from the fifth dimension channeled through the third dimension for us to be able to stop time, right? At which point, maybe it's just easier to start to have a couple witty remarks readily prepared.

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Na na na na na na na na-choo.

STUDENT PRESENTATIONS: So I am planning to take a short break from STW when my daughter is born, sometime late in May. I have a bunch of great guest-comics lined up to run while I'm away from the chalkboard, and I'd like you to be able to contribute during that time as well! If you have a comic or not, it doesn't matter; all are welcome to submit a comic to run during that time. You've read STW, so you know what works best; there are a couple of runs of past student presentations if you want to see what the successful submissions look like. You have a few weeks to think up a good idea; email in what you have when you're ready. Best of luck, and thanks!

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Yay for the inclusivity of error bars! The fun part will be seeing how many people feel they are outliers but agree with the graph anyway.

(If all you have to share as a comment is that the error bar should be equally distributed on both sides, well, guess where you fall on the graph.)

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The study goes on to argue that the specific neuropeptide involved suggests that sex is considered rewarding to a fly's brain, and the lack of the reward causes it to take part in another behavior that is also considered rewarding, which in this case is eating ethanol-spiked food. In particular, the scientists find the study interesting because it may help us better understand the mechanisms of drug abuse.

But let's be serious, the real upshot here is that you shouldn't kill a fly in a bar, but instead commiserate and possibly buy it a shot. Even if you don't think a beautiful set of compound eyes makes for a real looker.

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Consider that if you look at the etymology of the bizarre term 'lukewarm', it essentially marks the low end of the warmth-side of temperature. Of course, there's no 'lukecold' (no matter how much some people try to force it), so if you kind of list the terms on the hot-to-cold scale, you would kind of proceed hot, warm, lukewarm, tepid, cool, cold. So would you say that 'lukewarm' is almost the opposite of 'cool'? If so, likely your name is not 'Luke' - but you might have a nice way to etymologically mock a friend named Luke. And follow it up with, "Hey, don't you dare take offense. Take it up with etymology if you have a problem." Anyway, that was my bizarre thought process earlier when I should have been working.

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Think of this bracket backwards - where the champion is now actually the starting point. If you take it from there into the losers' bracket, in this case, you go nowhere. But if you keep expanding in more and more directions with each choice you make on your idea, man, the possibilities are limitless (and would be depicted as such if the board didn't suddenly run out of room).

I really think this concept of creativity is kind of beautiful - not just because I think brackets are mathematically beautiful, but because if you progress forward with any new idea you have, who knows where it will take you? And since brackets are usually used for competition, here it's the reverse form: splitting off in new and different ways for creativity to take hold. And if it's an accomplishment just to make the tournament, then it shouldn't matter where you end up on the right side, as long you kept pushing it.

Anyway, this likely ends bracket week, unless I come up with a fifth idea tomorrow. Who knows!

STW CLASS NCAA BRACKET POOL: If you want to participate, you have to sign up TODAY by noon ET. Hope you'll play along, even if you don't know anything about it!

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There's far more to it, of course - I wouldn't really consider citizenship to be citizenship without some form of active participation - but certainly if both sides aren't there, I'm not really sure what type of society you're living in.

Anyway, this leads into today's holiday (as proposed earlier this year): Observance Observance! Here's a day for appreciating the laws that you've worked to achieve, and for renewing your commitment to changing those you believe are wrong. Happy Observance Observance to you and yours.

(I know some of you will say, "no, it's Pi Day," but how dare you purposely celebrate a day that to the rest of the world isn't 3.14, but 14.3. Way to taunt them geometrically and algebraically. You jerks.)

ACTUAL NCAA BRACKETS: If you want to participate in the STW pool for the NCAA tournament, with the only prize being pride, you can join and with the rest of us here as long as you join by noon on Thursday.

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I considered going with life vs. death and resulting in the same outcome, but if reincarnation is the afterlife, I didn't want to leave any evidence behind suggesting I would enjoy becoming a cat. You hear me, afterlife? No. No cats.

ACTUAL NCAA BRACKETS: If you want to participate in the STW pool for the NCAA tournament, with the only prize being pride, you can join and with the rest of us here as long as you join by noon on Thursday.

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Yes, I'm actually having a baby girl, not a boy, but x vs. x is a bracket that implodes in on itself.

Anyway, with the NCAA tournament beginning later this week, bracket week is back! As a reminder, it's not who beats who, it's what is the outcome if something goes up against something else. It's a nice change of pace for me, and it actually led to one of my favorite hatemails of all time, mainly because it included the immortal line, "No one outside academia gets the bracket thing." (I'm pretty sure whoever sent that email is either a caveman or someone with extremely limited interaction with most of society.) If you want to see more comics in this vein, you can find bracket week comics here, here, and here.

ACTUAL NCAA BRACKETS: If you want to participate in the STW pool for the NCAA tournament, with the only prize being pride, you can join and with the rest of us here as long as you join by noon on Thursday.

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(Horse conveniently positioned just off-frame.)

I thought about doing the escape gallop math so you would know exactly what to demand for a ride before you head off to rid the lonely mining town of its black hats, but let's face it, you wouldn't be likely to find what you'd be asking for.

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Yeah, but don't worry, those will be the best years of your lives, kids. Oh, absolutely. Nothing better is going happen once you escape, I mean, graduate. Enjoy it while it persists, I mean, lasts.

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"I can't use Fist? Fine, let me introduce you to my human fists, Cobb and Chicotte. Just warning you, though, Chicotte's kind of a cheater and Cobb's a racist. You've been warned."

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In some relationships, on the other hand, you just don't find any use for each other, and so ideally you separate before one of you blows up at the other. But those occasions of dating an appendix are far fewer.

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"She's demanding a submarine and back rubs!"

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Every time I see the word 'cleavage' in a scientific article referring to some action of biological cells, I just shake my head 'no', and say to the article, "No, I'm sorry, science, you can't really take back that word, no matter how hard you try."

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And now you know what I'll sell you all out for. Of course, it'd be worth it. For me, anyway. Less so for you.

I'd also sell you out to a zombie uprising for first-pick of brains.

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Certainly people you/we pay more attention to on reality shows - even if they're just the judges. They're not the kick-ass action heroes, in any case.

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I know this will get twisted to whatever political issue people want to associate it with. The funny thing is, I thought of this knowing the quality of the internet connection I was going to have during the conference this past week. Once you've had the best, how can anything even slightly less be acceptable? Talk about true outrage. I was ready to sacrifice a few USB drives to the bandwidth gods.

INTERVIEWS: I keep forgetting to link to these, so here are a few interviews I've done over relatively recently:
- a brief discussion with the Northeastern student newspaper
- an interview with Mercury Ice
- a podcast interview with Panel Pals Comics Podcast in which much rambling occurs
As always, I'm willing to media whore myself out to anyone who asks. Enjoy!

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Any years of therapy I am now mildly responsible for, please charge it to Somebody Else.

The Northeastern talk was a good time! Thanks to everyone who came out. You were a good crowd.

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Time travel will all be worth it just so I can be an old man one day and tell my great-grandchildren, "Why, back in your day . . ."

BOSTONIANS! Today is the day! I'll be giving a STW talk about comics, the internet, life, and what-have-you at Northeastern at 7PM in 106 West Village G. I'll have mini-books and prints if you're interested, as well. Open to the public! Hope to see you there!

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Defeating slang and abbreviations, one near nuclear disaster at a time.

BOSTONIANS! STW talk! Tomorrow at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G!

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A number of people asked me to do a leet-speak comic, but leet-speak is pretty dumb, so I chose to make a comic about the complete opposite just to spite them, which, to me, is collared shirts.

Anyway, if you become an adult the day you like wearing collared shirts, I finally became an adult sometime in mid-December. Which is why it may be momentous, but it doesn't mark the day you became an adult.

BOSTONIANS! A STW talk on comics, life, the internet, and you! Thursday at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G! There will be mini-books and prints! Come and have fun! Exclamation point!

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Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for the arrival of my daughter. There are just a fewelements I'm not excited by.

By the way, hello from Boston! I'm here for a conference this week, so updates, while remaining daily, may get posted at weird times.

BOSTONIANS! See you at the STW talk on Thursday at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G!

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"Bring a beretta? I thought you said croquet. Oh well, let's have this out anyway."

BOSTONIANS! See you at the STW talk on Thursday at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G!

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I'm not sure the survey polled the young scientists I know. That being said, who doesn't have some social anxiety in certain situations? I'm not sure that statistic is really all that meaningful.

BOSTONIANS! Five days until the STW talk, Thursday, 3/1, at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G!

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I really love the phrase "dang creepy". Not sure why.

BOSTONIANS! See you in just six days, next Thursday, 3/1, at Northeastern! 7PM in 106 West Village G!

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I really like how apologizing insincerely has secretly become a competition among politicians, celebrities, and everyone else whose apology is part of an issued statement. How has no one picked up on this? It feels like enough of a secret game that we could probably draft a fantasy league if we wanted to.

The terrible fake apologetic slightly dickish pose above is on purpose, by the way. Hopefully you knew that.

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The problem for me is the desire to shout this in normal human face-to-face conversation. It makes job interviews quite difficult.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Speaking of online conversations, are you the kind of person who is into social networks and wants an extra dose of STW (which really just means, would you like to read a couple extra bad jokes per day)? Well, for a quick run-down, there are the Facebook and Twitter pages, the Tumblr page (where I've started answering recitations again), and the Carrier Pigeon Hangoutery (BYOCP). So if you're into them, that's that.

BOSTONIANS AND NEARBY NEW ENGLANDERS: A reminder! Next Thursday, March 1st, I'll be at Northeastern University giving a STW talk about comics, life and the internet! It's open to the public (and free!), starting at 7 PM in 106 West Village G. I'll bring some mini-books and prints to sign if anyone is interested as well. Hope to see you there!

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And thus, internet commenters are explained.

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The cats are always underfoot when I make the comics, and since no one else seems to be slowing down our path to internet doom, what the hell, I give in. Sprite has been added as a T.A. for the class. Do treat her with respect; you'll pay dearly if you don't. She's terribly mean when it comes to grading papers.

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"Pitchers and catchers" - sweeter and more honest three word phrase than "I love you"?

Either way, it's always spring somewhere.

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Doesn't more than one person deserve to be pursuing happiness? On second thought, screw that other person.

Well done, Maryland and Washington! Hang in there, New Jersey.

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Ladies (and gentlemen), I just don't get it. If you're going to take a picture of yourself and post it online while personally holding the camera out in front of you, why do you make the duckface? Is it some connection between tendons and muscles from your arm to your face, that just by holding out the camera, you find yourself stuck in that face? Were you trying to create an aura of awkward repulsion that centers around your lips? And after you saw the first image where you looked like that, you thought it was a good idea to create another? Was your thinking contagious? Is that why there are a bizarre number of people who try to shovel awful onto the sexual attraction hosued in their faces? Who is Patient X of duckface? It just doesn't make any sense.

A major thanks to the diehards who call themselves the STWfamily for their help with the comic.

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Bacon seems to be the extra ingredient to make everything perfect. Hitting a rough spot in your relationship? Add some bacon; problems solved. Lab experiments not working? Add some bacon; synthesis achieved. Struggling with your faith? Add some - well, OK, maybe it doesn't work in every situation.

Bacon can even be used as a great indication, though, of just how terrible political discourse has gotten - you can bet if one side said they loved bacon, the other side would either disagree and say it was terrible, or said no, they loved it far more, and the other side is just trying to ruin bacon and destroy bacon for good bacon-loving citizens! Sigh.

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This would TOTALLY be worth whatever you were asking for. In the other realities where you and I are together, perhaps you'll find this for me?

STW IN BOSTON: On March 1st at 7PM, I'll be giving a talk about comics, science, and the internet at Northeastern University! It'll be open to the public, so I hope you'll mark it down on your calendar!

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I wrote several verses and multiple choruses for a Not Valentine's song for you, but I ended up hating it, so you get a straight-up comic instead. Simply put, though, I fail to see how setting high expectations for romance that you demand as being a great idea for a holiday about love. Somehow celebrating love is more true today than other days? That's mildly insane. Anyway, Happy Old People Sex Day. Since that's really what today is about.

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Here you go, a day early so that you can hand it out to whoever you don't want to be your Valentine. I say this, mind you, as a married man with a wife who has no interest in celebrating Valentine's Day, so the comic above will not cost me as much as it might you. If you would prefer a different Not Valentine card, you can use the STW comic made last year, too.

TRANSCRIPTIONS:There are just a few untranscribed comics remaining - a major thank you to everyone who has helped out!

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I really wish I'd thought of this point back during high school freshmen theology. Probably would have gotten me detention for a week, but it would have been worth it.

TRANSCRIPTIONS: The list of remaining untranscribed comics is here with an example - if you're interested in helping out, just follow the directions on the page. Thanks, everyone!

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Found a bar with Rochefort last night. The greatest beer in the world. Worth it. Both last night, and this morning.

TRANSCRIPTIONS: The list of remaining untranscribed comics is here with an example - if you're interested in helping out, just follow the directions on the page. Thanks, everyone!

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Sure, some scholars saw the potential in math, but many still associated it with the occult. Look up the history of John Dee sometime to get a better sense of where he stood as both an important mathematician and an dedicated alchemist, and which he dedicated focus to when royalty was paying attention. In either case, if bookstores are dedicating entire sections to "paranormal teen romance", perhaps future scientists need to be reading up to better direct our future! (I am not really suggesting this.)

NEW ARCHIVE PAGE: Dedicated readers know that there are two different 'file under' jokes - one within the comic panel itself, and a different one on the archive page. To make it easier to get to, the archive page is switched around for your better perusal. Enjoy.

TRANSCRIPTIONS: I've been spending a good chunk of time working on different STW projects (preparing for individual prints, for example) and I'm close to implementing the 'search function' so you'll be able to find certain comics faster. Anyway, this is almost finished, but I could use some more help transcribing a few more comics that we didn't finish last time. The list of remaining untranscribed comics is here with an example - if you're interested in helping out, just follow the directions on the page. Thanks, everyone!

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"It's kind of a mess when it happens, too. Best if I'm alone at the time."

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Sure, you have an obligation to properly guide children, but that doesn't mean you can't mess with their heads. Besides, if you swap out a fantasy creature with something real, do you realize how much better some of the stories would get? Princesses riding around on rhinoceroses? Who wouldn't want to live in a fantasy like that? So sure, it might screw up your kids' understanding of the world, but it'll probably make the stories far more enjoyable for you to read to them.

RSS users - you'll note that there are sharing links now at the bottom of each post. People were asking for these for a long time, and I resisted, mainly because I couldn't figure out how to satisfactorily implement them. But they're there now (and hopefully they work) so make do as you will! Thanks!

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Ladies, this does not give you permission to conduct certain amateur surgeries on gentlemen with the excuse of "I just want to ensure the survival of the species." Please put this idea out of your mind.

If you're interested in finding out more about the species of spider and their interesting habits, there's a summary of the scientific report here.

STW STORE SALE: Today is the last day for the discount on all STW t-shirts IF THEY ARE RED - remember that you can change the color of any shirt to help fit the sale, including the new chemical romance design below! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

I swear, they're waiting outside the door. That speed with which they use it is their means of letting me know where they think I stand, I do believe. And I don't think I stand very high.

NEW SHIRT DESIGN / STW STORE SALE: Even after I made this comic, I still can't really believe that people actually wanted this design. But hey, here it is, your way to announce your romantic compatibility with SCIENCE:

And until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. Which really is all of them including the new one, since they come in any color you want! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

It's a hard and heavy responsibility, but hey, if the situation demands it, I will not shirk from my duty.

STW STORE SALE: Until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. Which is basically all shirts, since you can make them any color you want! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

Your forehead is part of your face.

HIGH-FIVE A RANDOM STRANGER DAY: It's here! That day of grand merriment when we all spread some spontaneous joy with people we do not know! May your Saturday be filled with as many goofy high-fives as you can pull off with strangers without having them duck out of the way in fright or call the police because they thought you were going to assault them.

STW STORE SALE: Until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. Which is basically all shirts, since you can make them any color you want! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

No one ever takes the time to read the heiroglyphics on the inside of the uterus, so Fetus Morse Code it is.

HIGH-FIVE A RANDOM STRANGER DAY: Tomorrow is the day! Are you ready to high-five a stranger or two? Are you ready to share a spontaneous moment of joy with others? Have you trained an army of friends to help spread some spontaneous high-fiving joy, too? Maybe you need some inspiration to get you in the spirit of the holiday?

STW STORE SALE: Until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. Which is basically all shirts, since you can make them any color you want! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

"What am I making? Oh, a baby."

HOURLY COMIC DAY: Yesterday was Hourly Comic Day - I made the traditional short, quick STW lessons like I have in the past. If you're interested in seeing them, I split them into three batches here, here, and here.

HIGH-FIVE A RANDOM STRANGER DAY: Second of the new holidays proposed earlier this year, it comes this Saturday! Are you ready to celebrate? Will a picture of a man high-fiving a whale get you in the spirit?

STW STORE SALE: Until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. Which is basically all shirts, since you can make them any color you want! Use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

"Would you like anything rearranged while I'm working in here?"

STW BONE MARROW DONOR REGISTRATION DRIVE: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who contributed in some way to the drive - either registering for the first time, trying to register, getting others to register, letting others know it was happening, etc. Based on the responses I have gotten, it seems we registered well over 250 new donors (and likely much higher than that!) as part of the drive. I can't believe how successful it was. You guys really, truly, sincerely are the best.

HOURLY COMIC DAY: Today is Hourly Comic Day, so I'll be doing my usual version of a quick lesson jotted down every hour that I am awake. I'll probably be posting them on the Tumblr feed, but will link to them tomorrow if you want to see the complete set. If you're interested in trying it out yourself, join in! It's an interesting way to stimulate your creativity.

STW STORE SALE: Until February 7th, all STW t-shirts are 10% off IF THEY ARE RED. You can use the coupon code "RED2012" when you check out.

Seriously, do you know how easy it would be to be a legitimate candidate for office these days? Candidates seemingly make outlandish statements part of their platforms so that they not only stand out but of course would also be impossible to compromise with. For example, consider the political statements I've been making on the various social networks:

"Vote for me, if elected I promise to stop devouring babies!"
"Vote for me, if elected, I promise to have brought back Firefly by the end of my second term!"
"Vote for me, I promise time machines will exist by the time you are born!"
"Vote for me, I will piss off the people you want me to piss off!"
"Vote for me, I will reduce the number of vampires in popular culture!"

The lesson here - even if one of those is entirely reasonable, throw a couple insane statements in there and it's hard to convince other people they should find ways to work with you on the good parts.

STW BONE MARROW DONOR REGISTRATION DRIVE: Today is the last day that you can register with the National Marrow Donor Program while corporate donations are covering the registration costs. While you can always donate and cover your own costs - which I thank you for, if you choose to do so - taking advantage of this opportunity while you can is something you shouldn't miss out on. They don't even need to take a blood sample, either! So please, consider signing up today. You never know if you might be able to save a life. (And once you do (or if you already have), please add your name to the list of other new registered donors? It would really help give a sense of how well the drive went. Thanks!)

The last part may sound like a joke, but in the movie based on your life, wouldn't you want to be played by the best actor out there? That's why I want to be played by Denzel Washington or Meryl Streep.

Anyway, today is Vasili Arkhipov's birthday, the first of the 12 new holidays suggested at the beginning of the year. If you have a celebration of any kind tonight, raise your glass to Vasili or any other unsung hero in your life.

And if you'd like to possibly be an unsung hero to someone else, maybe you'll consider registering with the National Marrow Donor Program before the end of the month while costs are covered? Never know if you might be able to save a life.

I'm not sure how it works, but hey, at least it's a plan. Better than wriggling around and running out of air, right?

- There's still time to register with the National Marrow Donor Program while costs are covered.

- A reminder: the "High-Five" homework is due this Thursday.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PAST HOMEWORK: The assignment was "In less than 200 words, explain why someone is an unsung hero to you." Most of the responses were heart-warming, some were amusing, and in my opinion, the best answer came from Steven in Burnsville, MN:

(to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic")

Bill Beery was a rifleman in 1943, He was a banker in his twenties, just a man like you and me. With a wife and baby, still he had to join the infantry, And he headed off to war.

For three months he served in combat and he did his very best. Eighty-seven days of hell he struggled on without a rest. In the Battle of the Bulge he took a bullet in the chest And they sent him home from war.

When he got his discharge papers, he went home to see his wife. He spent a month recuperating from the bloodshed and the strife. Then he went right back to banking, taking up his former life, When we met he was 94.

We talked one summer day about his memories and fears, While he told his story he broke down in unexpected tears. The memories had bridged a gap of many busy years, Back to 1944.

He isn’t in the songs of praise that anybody sings, He just says that in the war “we did some necessary things.” But if you ask me he’s a hero, rising high on glorious wings. Now he is unsung no more!

Well done, Steven, and thank you to everyone who sent in an answer. Enjoy reading through them.

See, if you had your Zombie-to-Human language translation book with you, you'd clearly see that "Braaaaaiiiins" is just zombinese for "Just trying to do my civic duty, ma'am." Adult, polite, and responsible. How nice!

Major thanks to everyone who signed up with the National Marrow Donor Program yesterday - if you didn't, please do so before January is up! It's a great opportunity to do so while corporate donations are covering the cost, and you never know if you'll be able to help save a life.

The 'unsung hero' homework will be posted tomorrow.

Demons barge their way past anyone waiting on the body donation list, including science. So uncouth.

A REQUEST FROM DANTE: So hopefully many of you are registered as organ donors, and hopefully you have given/have been able to give blood, too. But there is a good chance that you are not registered to be bone marrow donors - which, fortunately, you can change today.

Bone marrow donors are always needed in response to blood diseases like leukemia. Unfortunately, it's not a simple case of matching blood types, but needing to find a much more exact match between donor and recipient - which is an even larger problem when the number of people on donor registration lists never encompasses enough people to have matches for everyone. The other problem is that it's not cheap to register donors, either - conducting the analysis so you can properly be added to the lists can cost as much as $100 - so there aren't always many registration drives that you can take part in.

My Eagle project, back when I was a Boy Scout, was to organize a bone marrow donor registration drive, partly inspired by a Scout in our troop who had died unable to find a match. I've been trying to figure out how to use STW to organize a new drive for a while now - a little hard when you can't all just come down to a local building we're having it at! - a nice idea but certainly with difficulties before we even get to the costs.

BUT - and this is good news - the National Marrow Donor Program is actually having all costs covered until the end of January. Even better, you can sign up online - it takes less than ten minutes to fill out the forms, you'll be mailed a cheek-swabbing kit which you mail back - and bam, you're done and registered, and it was free. So I'd like to ask you, please, if you can, register to be a donor before the month is over. You may never end up being a match for someone - but every person who gets registered helps cut down on the possibility that someone won't be able to find a match.

I only just found out about the costs being covered during January the other day - otherwise I would have been pushing this for a while now. If you're between 18 and 60, please consider my request and become registered as a potential donor. It's a great opportunity to do something easy, and you might end up saving a life someday. Thanks, kids.

Shouting in at your fetus, "Don't worry, we'll bail you out soon enough!", is far more fun than you'd think. Especially in public.

Kids! I will be in Boston the week of February 27th! If you are part of a Boston-based college that would like to set up/host a STW-talk, please contact me and let me know. (For the record, saying "Come to ____!" is not actually a helpful means of setting things up.)

Now, I'm no astronomer, just a simple chemical engineer who helps create low friction fluids and surfaces. But you didn't really want to see me looking down the barrel of a bottle of "LUBE", now, did you?

But yes, please do remember to support science, either in the classroom or in the voting booth. And if you represent a funding agency interested in supporting a young scientist's desire to create new medical lubricants and better fire-fighting equipment, well, I'm listening . . .

RSS users! Look! After almost four years of STW, and after a number of people's attempts to help during that time frame, I've finally figured out the proper coding to embed links and paragraphs in the RSS! Huzzah! Hopefully this will make it more enjoyable for you to follow and support the comic. You'll still need to go to the Archive page to see the extra 'File under' joke that is posted there, but everything else should be similar to the site. Enjoy!