Daily Lessons in Science, Literature, Love, and Life . . . A Webcomic Updated Seven Days a Week, by Dante Shepherd http://survivingtheworld.net en-us 2008-2009 Dante Shepherd Tues, 9 Feb 2010 07:25:00 -0500 60 http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson569.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson569.html Tues, 9 Feb 2010 07:25:00 -0500 Ah, the internet - bringing people of all nationalities together so that they can be more rapidly driven apart. Ah, the internet - bringing people of all nationalities together so that they can be more rapidly driven apart. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson568.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson568.html Mon, 8 Feb 2010 07:15:00 -0500 Starting off the week on a high note. - - (Can we bring monocles back? We need to bring monocles back. Let's bring monocles back.) Starting off the week on a high note. - - (Can we bring monocles back? We need to bring monocles back. Let's bring monocles back.) ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson567.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson567.html Sun, 7 Feb 2010 08:25:00 -0500 So now you're saying, even if a study said the 11 minutes thing is true (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704281204575002852055561406.html), football is still better than baseball because baseball is so slow, and Dante, you're biased in favor of baseball anyway. Well, have you been to a major football game? All the players do half the time is stand around waiting for commercial breaks to end. And as for baseball, let's assume there are 130 pitches per team per game, OK? Now, including the time from windup to the umpire calling the pitch a ball or strike, probably 5 seconds go by. - - 260 pitches * 5 seconds per pitch = 1300 seconds = over 21 minutes > 11 minutes. Thus baseball is more action packed than football. Q.E.D. (Quite excellent, Dante.) - - Anyway, enjoy the Super Bowl. So now you're saying, even if a study said the 11 minutes thing is true (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704281204575002852055561406.html), football is still better than baseball because baseball is so slow, and Dante, you're biased in favor of baseball anyway. Well, have you been to a major football game? All the players do half the time is stand around waiting for commercial breaks to end. And as for baseball, let's assume there are 130 pitches per team per game, OK? Now, including the time from windup to the umpire calling the pitch a ball or strike, probably 5 seconds go by. - - 260 pitches * 5 seconds per pitch = 1300 seconds = over 21 minutes > 11 minutes. Thus baseball is more action packed than football. Q.E.D. (Quite excellent, Dante.) - - Anyway, enjoy the Super Bowl. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson566.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson566.html Sat, 6 Feb 2010 09:00:00 -0500 I heard the full tongue twister (http://www.jerrylewiscomedy.com/announcer.htm) a long time ago (I think someone actually wrote it in my high school yearbook) but didn't realize until recently it was a test for radio announcers, where they were forced to read it cold. Now, sure, there are many other steps leading up to being on the radio, but come on, that's a pretty cool test, right? I mean, even trying it the other day and not making it past 'corpulent porpoises', I still enjoyed doing it. And doesn't having you enjoying the testing process make the reward that much more satisfying? - - And if I got the law process incorrect, I don't care. Lawyers are all catfish, anyway. I heard the full tongue twister (http://www.jerrylewiscomedy.com/announcer.htm) a long time ago (I think someone actually wrote it in my high school yearbook) but didn't realize until recently it was a test for radio announcers, where they were forced to read it cold. Now, sure, there are many other steps leading up to being on the radio, but come on, that's a pretty cool test, right? I mean, even trying it the other day and not making it past 'corpulent porpoises', I still enjoyed doing it. And doesn't having you enjoying the testing process make the reward that much more satisfying? - - And if I got the law process incorrect, I don't care. Lawyers are all catfish, anyway. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation44.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation44.html Thurs, 4 Feb 2010 07:15:00 -0500 If you're a fictional character, life can be so complicated. And expected. Also, if you're a fictional character, mind telling me how you're able to be reading the comic? Perhaps I'm playing to the wrong audience. - - Seriously, though, guys, just get better with practice and don't worry about it. If it really bothers you that that is the way you should do it, don't date anyone you're interested in until you think you've had enough kissing practice, and then start seeing the people you're really interested in and dear God why I am writing like this and talking about this subject I sound like a fifteen year old girl. - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. (danteshepherd (at) gmail (dot) com) And if you've got a comic/lesson of your own for the student presentations, send that on in too. Certainly been enjoying everything that has been sent in so far. If you're a fictional character, life can be so complicated. And expected. Also, if you're a fictional character, mind telling me how you're able to be reading the comic? Perhaps I'm playing to the wrong audience. - - Seriously, though, guys, just get better with practice and don't worry about it. If it really bothers you that that is the way you should do it, don't date anyone you're interested in until you think you've had enough kissing practice, and then start seeing the people you're really interested in and dear God why I am writing like this and talking about this subject I sound like a fifteen year old girl. - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. (danteshepherd (at) gmail (dot) com) And if you've got a comic/lesson of your own for the student presentations, send that on in too. Certainly been enjoying everything that has been sent in so far. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson565.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson565.html Thurs, 4 Feb 2010 08:55:00 -0500 Remember, if you go up big early, the later innings will just be kind of boring. - - I once wrote a 25 page paper on the baseball-is-life metaphor in literature, so this line of thinking might make a lot more sense to me than you. Regardless, look at how many baseball plays and situations have worked their way into the daily vernacular. The comparison certainly holds. Remember, if you go up big early, the later innings will just be kind of boring. - - I once wrote a 25 page paper on the baseball-is-life metaphor in literature, so this line of thinking might make a lot more sense to me than you. Regardless, look at how many baseball plays and situations have worked their way into the daily vernacular. The comparison certainly holds. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson564.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson564.html Wed, 3 Feb 2010 07:40:00 -0500 What's your dog's record on number of times gone back and forth in one spot before finally going? German's record is either 20 or 32, I can't remember which. What's your dog's record on number of times gone back and forth in one spot before finally going? German's record is either 20 or 32, I can't remember which. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson563.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson563.html Tues, 2 Feb 2010 08:45:00 -0500 And the prarie dogs will make sure Bill Murray is the first one up against the wall. - - I do so like to wonder what would happen if animals rebelled. It's pretty easy to imagine other small animals being pissed at the groundhog getting such recognition. - - - - I participated in Hourly Comics Day (http://www.hourlycomic.com/hourlycomicday.html) yesterday, and you can find all my comics for it here. (http://survivingtheworld.net/HourlyComicDay2010.html) I try to take the approach of coming up with a lesson once an hour, with means they're more pithy and simple and on a craptacular blackboard that I came across in a hallway last year. And the prarie dogs will make sure Bill Murray is the first one up against the wall. - - I do so like to wonder what would happen if animals rebelled. It's pretty easy to imagine other small animals being pissed at the groundhog getting such recognition. - - - - I participated in Hourly Comics Day (http://www.hourlycomic.com/hourlycomicday.html) yesterday, and you can find all my comics for it here. (http://survivingtheworld.net/HourlyComicDay2010.html) I try to take the approach of coming up with a lesson once an hour, with means they're more pithy and simple and on a craptacular blackboard that I came across in a hallway last year. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson562.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson562.html Mon, 1 Feb 2010 08:10:00 -0500 The finding from this study (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/dec/17/medicalresearch-humanbehaviour) really makes that nude hiking thing (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson329.html) even more strange, doesn't it? - - - - Today is Hourly Comics Day! (http://www.hourlycomic.com/hourlycomicday.html) If you feel up for the task, I highly recommend it as a means of revving up your creativity. I'll probably post all my 'more pithy than usual' (http://survivingtheworld.net/HourlyComicDay2009.html) comics tomorrow. So you'll have that going for you. Which is nice. The finding from this study (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/dec/17/medicalresearch-humanbehaviour) really makes that nude hiking thing (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson329.html) even more strange, doesn't it? - - - - Today is Hourly Comics Day! (http://www.hourlycomic.com/hourlycomicday.html) If you feel up for the task, I highly recommend it as a means of revving up your creativity. I'll probably post all my 'more pithy than usual' (http://survivingtheworld.net/HourlyComicDay2009.html) comics tomorrow. So you'll have that going for you. Which is nice. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson561.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson561.html Sun, 31 Jan 2010 09:00:00 -0500 Everything comes down to math. First aid is your contribution to the human race or to help you survive when you wouldn't otherwise. And . . . well, it's nice to know more, but you don't need to on the same level as those first two. - - Mainly because those first two are a step above everything else. Everything comes down to math. First aid is your contribution to the human race or to help you survive when you wouldn't otherwise. And . . . well, it's nice to know more, but you don't need to on the same level as those first two. - - Mainly because those first two are a step above everything else. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson560.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson560.html Sat, 30 Jan 2010 09:10:00 -0500 Yesterday as I was about to make today's comic, I got a call from my friend Joel (who was kind enough to post a comic once when I was on vacation). He told me his wife was in labor. And had been since Tuesday night. - - Yesterday was Friday. It might not have been full-on having-the-baby-now labor, but dear God, I don't know how we were able to talk for almost an hour and never say that above phrase. We certainly danced around it the entire time. - - Push little Grace out, Raechel. The world's excited to meet her. Plus, the men who know you would appreciate not feeling the I'm-not-a-woman guilt. Yesterday as I was about to make today's comic, I got a call from my friend Joel (who was kind enough to post a comic once when I was on vacation). He told me his wife was in labor. And had been since Tuesday night. - - Yesterday was Friday. It might not have been full-on having-the-baby-now labor, but dear God, I don't know how we were able to talk for almost an hour and never say that above phrase. We certainly danced around it the entire time. - - Push little Grace out, Raechel. The world's excited to meet her. Plus, the men who know you would appreciate not feeling the I'm-not-a-woman guilt. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation43.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation43.html Fri, 29 Jan 2010 07:20:00 -0500 Americans might eat more, but what I've seen from my travels and interactions with international students is that the "inhalation" of food by men certainly knows no borders. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. Who knows, maybe it will get used. - - - - If you've got a submission for the student presentations, send that in, too. A couple really clever ones came in this week but there's always room for more. And as long as it's 670 pixels wide, it can be as long as you want in whatever art style you want. Looking forward to seeing what you can do. Americans might eat more, but what I've seen from my travels and interactions with international students is that the "inhalation" of food by men certainly knows no borders. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. Who knows, maybe it will get used. - - - - If you've got a submission for the student presentations, send that in, too. A couple really clever ones came in this week but there's always room for more. And as long as it's 670 pixels wide, it can be as long as you want in whatever art style you want. Looking forward to seeing what you can do. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson559.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson559.html Thurs, 28 Jan 2010 08:30:00 -0500 I will use this on my kids. They will probably think I'm lame. I will not care. - - - - Thanks to everyone who responded so positively to yesterday's comic. Many of your comments and reassurances were very touching, and to the so many of you who responded to that article, defending me like I was a fat kid in the fourth grade who had just been picked on by a bully, I was impressed by how many of you chose to use ration and humor instead of going the easy route with insults. Yesterday's comic was more of something that needed to be said about photocomics instead of a necessary response to Jules Rivera, but I truly appreciate everything you all said, and only hope to continue producing up to the insane level you seem to think I'm at. Thanks again. I will use this on my kids. They will probably think I'm lame. I will not care. - - - - Thanks to everyone who responded so positively to yesterday's comic. Many of your comments and reassurances were very touching, and to the so many of you who responded to that article, defending me like I was a fat kid in the fourth grade who had just been picked on by a bully, I was impressed by how many of you chose to use ration and humor instead of going the easy route with insults. Yesterday's comic was more of something that needed to be said about photocomics instead of a necessary response to Jules Rivera, but I truly appreciate everything you all said, and only hope to continue producing up to the insane level you seem to think I'm at. Thanks again. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson558.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson558.html Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:55:00 -0500 Today's lesson was partly inspired by the emails I get asking me what you should call STW, and partly inspired by this ridiculous piece by Jules Rivera. (http://www.comicrelated.com/news/3964/art-in-webcomics) I really can't get angry about her criticism of STW because her argument is so entirely flawed and narrow-minded (either your comic is hand-drawn or it sucks) that it really felt more like a roast when I first read it. Still, though, while there are a number of great photocomics out there, it's going to take the public twice as long to adjust to the idea of "photocomics" as they have to "webcomics". Mainly because they can see a printed version of webcomics every day in newspapers, but never see a print photocomic. - - I like the style I'm able to employ this way, and I think it gets across my ideas the best. It may seem like a lot less work because I'm not drawing out an image for a few hours, but posing and word placement are subtle equivalent challenges for me to face. And really, the final product comes out a whole lot better than something you'd get from me if it was drawn by hand: (http://survivingtheworld.net/SurvivingtheWorld-Syndicate.jpg) - - So the goal of today's lesson was to answer all the questions and criticisms about photocomics in general, and hopefully I succeeded somewhere throughout that barrage above. (Thanks to Zander of Skidmore Bluffs (http://www.skidmorebluffs.net) and Arne of Union of Heroes (http://www.unionofheroes.com/comic/)for their help and suggestions in modifying the script.) - - Oh, and why did this 14-photo monster run today? Well, 558 + 42 = 600. Thanks for everything, everyone. Today's lesson was partly inspired by the emails I get asking me what you should call STW, and partly inspired by this ridiculous piece by Jules Rivera. (http://www.comicrelated.com/news/3964/art-in-webcomics) I really can't get angry about her criticism of STW because her argument is so entirely flawed and narrow-minded (either your comic is hand-drawn or it sucks) that it really felt more like a roast when I first read it. Still, though, while there are a number of great photocomics out there, it's going to take the public twice as long to adjust to the idea of "photocomics" as they have to "webcomics". Mainly because they can see a printed version of webcomics every day in newspapers, but never see a print photocomic. - - I like the style I'm able to employ this way, and I think it gets across my ideas the best. It may seem like a lot less work because I'm not drawing out an image for a few hours, but posing and word placement are subtle equivalent challenges for me to face. And really, the final product comes out a whole lot better than something you'd get from me if it was drawn by hand: (http://survivingtheworld.net/SurvivingtheWorld-Syndicate.jpg) - - So the goal of today's lesson was to answer all the questions and criticisms about photocomics in general, and hopefully I succeeded somewhere throughout that barrage above. (Thanks to Zander of Skidmore Bluffs (http://www.skidmorebluffs.net) and Arne of Union of Heroes (http://www.unionofheroes.com/comic/)for their help and suggestions in modifying the script.) - - Oh, and why did this 14-photo monster run today? Well, 558 + 42 = 600. Thanks for everything, everyone. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson557.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson557.html Tues, 26 Jan 2010 08:15:00 -0500 "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" "No, I'd rather go in fifteen minutes after we've been on the road." "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" "No, I'd rather go in fifteen minutes after we've been on the road." ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson556.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson556.html Mon, 25 Jan 2010 07:45:00 -0500 "That's our boy, the ruler of the new Earth Empire! We mean, all hail Emperor Zharg!" - - - - (The secondary lesson here is that if you are fortunate enough to somehow become the emperor of Earth, you can never have enough z's and g's in your name.) "That's our boy, the ruler of the new Earth Empire! We mean, all hail Emperor Zharg!" - - - - (The secondary lesson here is that if you are fortunate enough to somehow become the emperor of Earth, you can never have enough z's and g's in your name.) ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson555.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson555.html Sun, 24 Jan 2010 08:00:00 -0500 The lesson here, of course, is that if you start a kind-of-sweet-but-basically-inane idea, you have only yourself to blame when it gets taken to the next level. Hit one type of precipitation, all precipitation is up for debate. The lesson here, of course, is that if you start a kind-of-sweet-but-basically-inane idea, you have only yourself to blame when it gets taken to the next level. Hit one type of precipitation, all precipitation is up for debate. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson554.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson554.html Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:35:00 -0500 Really, thank God I don't believe that. Hell, thank God anyone who uses social networking doesn't believe that. Really, thank God I don't believe that. Hell, thank God anyone who uses social networking doesn't believe that. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation42.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation42.html Fri, 22 Jan 2010 07:35:00 -0500 Of course, if you treat the whole 'relationship spark' like an actual cocktail, then you've got many other problems. - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. That's how the magic happens. - - - - A couple quick bits of news: - - STW might be printed in the UMass college paper soon! So that's exciting. More so if you go to UMass, I guess. - - Also, at the end of February, STW will be running a week of "Student Presentations". Time to let the students take over the class, of course. (I'd call them "Oral Presentations" but too many of you would associate that term with something else.) Feel free to send in your submission via email to be used as a comic, I'll sort through all the ones I get by mid-February, choose my seven favorites, and run them here on STW. Use whatever format you prefer - photograph, painting, digital artwork, whatever - and we'll see what happens. By sending in a lesson, of course, you give me the right to run it on the website for as long as STW exists and use it as however I see fit. Anyway, this should be fun, and I really need the chance to rebuild a backlog. Enjoy. Of course, if you treat the whole 'relationship spark' like an actual cocktail, then you've got many other problems. - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in. That's how the magic happens. - - - - A couple quick bits of news: - - STW might be printed in the UMass college paper soon! So that's exciting. More so if you go to UMass, I guess. - - Also, at the end of February, STW will be running a week of "Student Presentations". Time to let the students take over the class, of course. (I'd call them "Oral Presentations" but too many of you would associate that term with something else.) Feel free to send in your submission via email to be used as a comic, I'll sort through all the ones I get by mid-February, choose my seven favorites, and run them here on STW. Use whatever format you prefer - photograph, painting, digital artwork, whatever - and we'll see what happens. By sending in a lesson, of course, you give me the right to run it on the website for as long as STW exists and use it as however I see fit. Anyway, this should be fun, and I really need the chance to rebuild a backlog. Enjoy. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson553.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson553.html Thurs, 21 Jan 2010 08:40:00 -0500 Unless you're that guy who wrote Jumanji. Apparently if you're that guy, you can just rewrite your own story and put it in space, and get away with it. - - - - I have no idea why that bothers me so much, but that's irritated me for years. Unless you're that guy who wrote Jumanji. Apparently if you're that guy, you can just rewrite your own story and put it in space, and get away with it. - - - - I have no idea why that bothers me so much, but that's irritated me for years. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson552.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson552.html Wed, 20 Jan 2010 07:45:00 -0500 I was never one of those people, but at least I've finally figured out why they were in there. I was never one of those people, but at least I've finally figured out why they were in there. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson551.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson551.html Tues, 19 Jan 2010 09:10:00 -0500 Did you know that leaving dog poop around spreads hookworm? - - - - Also, if you're the guy who brings his dog from across the street and has it poop in my front yard each morning after I've left for work, you and I are going to have words soon. Also, I am going to start picking up after your dog and flinging the bag all David vs. Goliath style and get it to land on your roof. Did you know that leaving dog poop around spreads hookworm? - - - - Also, if you're the guy who brings his dog from across the street and has it poop in my front yard each morning after I've left for work, you and I are going to have words soon. Also, I am going to start picking up after your dog and flinging the bag all David vs. Goliath style and get it to land on your roof. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson550.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson550.html Mon, 18 Jan 2010 08:20:00 -0500 So this is a fascinating finding by scientists, right (http://www.livescience.com/animals/green-slug-animal-plant-100112.html)? Here's my question about the scientist who made the discovery: if you've studied this animal for 20 years, as it claims in the article, then how did you only just determine it produced chlorophyll now? Twenty years, and you only just found this out? You would think sometime in twenty years, they forgot to feed one of the sea slugs they kept in an aquarium, yet it survived anyway, and they would start asking, hey, how the hell did that happen? So this is a fascinating finding by scientists, right (http://www.livescience.com/animals/green-slug-animal-plant-100112.html)? Here's my question about the scientist who made the discovery: if you've studied this animal for 20 years, as it claims in the article, then how did you only just determine it produced chlorophyll now? Twenty years, and you only just found this out? You would think sometime in twenty years, they forgot to feed one of the sea slugs they kept in an aquarium, yet it survived anyway, and they would start asking, hey, how the hell did that happen? ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson549.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson549.html Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:20:00 -0500 Hey, a topical comic! If you couldn't guess, I was being sarcastic - internet drives to help out Haiti might be a major boost to relief efforts, but they probably aren't going to save a late night show host's job. - - - - Admiral Mandarin was created by Erik Fearing and Dan 5 in 2001, but long since forgotten. Very glad to bring the character back to the public's knowledge - he was my favorite Clue character, and will be yours, too. Hey, a topical comic! If you couldn't guess, I was being sarcastic - internet drives to help out Haiti might be a major boost to relief efforts, but they probably aren't going to save a late night show host's job. - - - - Admiral Mandarin was created by Erik Fearing and Dan 5 in 2001, but long since forgotten. Very glad to bring the character back to the public's knowledge - he was my favorite Clue character, and will be yours, too. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson548.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson548.html Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:25:00 -0500 The evolution of a completely deranged comic: On Monday, Mark McGwire admitted having used steroids. Even though this was something that everyone pretty much already guessed, something equivalent to someone announcing that the sky is blue and grass is green, it still somehow became major sports news for the next few days. Later on Monday, I made fun of McGwire's statement on Twitter by using parts of his statement to admit an addiction to grapefruit (http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642433772 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642526473 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642589234 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642632994). (Some webcomics have dick jokes; I have grapefruit, apparently. (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson168.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson400.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation22.html)) By Tuesday, I'm contemplating how painful it would actually be to get a grapefruit in a syringe and inject it into your arm, and asking people (http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7672282802 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7674053421) which fruit they would be most interested in abusing like a drug. By Wednesday, I'm not shaving so I look more like a drug dealer . . . one who pushes powdered fruit. By Thursday, my friend Chittim is majorly helping out with the brainstorming of ridiculous fruit street names. By Friday, I'm making the comics, and by Saturday, you're wondering what the hell kind of comic was that. The evolution of a completely deranged comic: On Monday, Mark McGwire admitted having used steroids. Even though this was something that everyone pretty much already guessed, something equivalent to someone announcing that the sky is blue and grass is green, it still somehow became major sports news for the next few days. Later on Monday, I made fun of McGwire's statement on Twitter by using parts of his statement to admit an addiction to grapefruit (http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642433772 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642526473 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642589234 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7642632994). (Some webcomics have dick jokes; I have grapefruit, apparently. (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson168.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson400.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation22.html)) By Tuesday, I'm contemplating how painful it would actually be to get a grapefruit in a syringe and inject it into your arm, and asking people (http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7672282802 http://twitter.com/danteshepherd/status/7674053421) which fruit they would be most interested in abusing like a drug. By Wednesday, I'm not shaving so I look more like a drug dealer . . . one who pushes powdered fruit. By Thursday, my friend Chittim is majorly helping out with the brainstorming of ridiculous fruit street names. By Friday, I'm making the comics, and by Saturday, you're wondering what the hell kind of comic was that. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation41.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation41.html Fri, 15 Jan 2010 07:35:00 -0500 To trees, history wouldn't be complete without discussing St. Carnegie, St. Bessemer, and many others, although trees are so high on carbon dioxide all the time nowadays that you can barely understand a word they're saying. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it along. The better your question is, well, more credit to you. To trees, history wouldn't be complete without discussing St. Carnegie, St. Bessemer, and many others, although trees are so high on carbon dioxide all the time nowadays that you can barely understand a word they're saying. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it along. The better your question is, well, more credit to you. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson547.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson547.html Thurs, 14 Jan 2010 09:45:00 -0500 It's always nice to see the landscape completely coated with snow, an even coating spread everywhere. It's even nicer to be the sole person who destroyed the scene. It's always nice to see the landscape completely coated with snow, an even coating spread everywhere. It's even nicer to be the sole person who destroyed the scene. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson546.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson546.html Wed, 13 Jan 2010 08:55:00 -0500 Fake stories that are completely harmless make life worth living. Well, help to make life worth living, anyway. Fake stories that are completely harmless make life worth living. Well, help to make life worth living, anyway. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson545.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson545.html Tues, 12 Jan 2010 07:15:00 -0500 It's even more fun if you make the raptor noise while doing it. More fun for you, not for the cats, obviously. - - - - Also if you find two of those six-foot long icicles you can joust with your dog. It's even more fun if you make the raptor noise while doing it. More fun for you, not for the cats, obviously. - - - - Also if you find two of those six-foot long icicles you can joust with your dog. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson544.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson544.html Mon, 11 Jan 2010 08:20:00 -0500 Signalling frantically to other people for rescue while in the zero angle position also shows a conversation easy to read into. Signalling frantically to other people for rescue while in the zero angle position also shows a conversation easy to read into. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson543.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson543.html Sun, 10 Jan 2010 08:10:00 -0500 I love that if you type "hangy thing" into Google, the list of suggested searches knows exactly what you're talking about - "hangy thing in throat". I love that so many people think of 'hangy thing' when trying to remember the word uvula. - - - - Hey, remember that comic way back when on the perfect breakfast food? (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson511.html) Well, someone has gone to the trouble of trying to make it (http://brielegrandfromage.blogspot.com/2010/01/cromufini.html)! The pictures make it look delicious. (Recipes included.) I love that if you type "hangy thing" into Google, the list of suggested searches knows exactly what you're talking about - "hangy thing in throat". I love that so many people think of 'hangy thing' when trying to remember the word uvula. - - - - Hey, remember that comic way back when on the perfect breakfast food? (http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson511.html) Well, someone has gone to the trouble of trying to make it (http://brielegrandfromage.blogspot.com/2010/01/cromufini.html)! The pictures make it look delicious. (Recipes included.) ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson542.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson542.html Sat, 9 Jan 2010 10:10:00 -0500 You can also rearrange the letters to spell "meat". This is of no significance unless you work in a butcher shop, and even then, this is of no significance. You can also rearrange the letters to spell "meat". This is of no significance unless you work in a butcher shop, and even then, this is of no significance. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation40.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation40.html Fri, 8 Jan 2010 08:50:00 -0500 That's the conclusion I've come to, anyway. Disagree all you want, but frankly, that might just make you more or less romantic of a person than me. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, feel free to send it on in. It will be scrutinized by a highly accomplished team of nonexistant personalities and may eventually work its way into a Friday comic. That's the conclusion I've come to, anyway. Disagree all you want, but frankly, that might just make you more or less romantic of a person than me. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, feel free to send it on in. It will be scrutinized by a highly accomplished team of nonexistant personalities and may eventually work its way into a Friday comic. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson541.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson541.html Thurs, 7 Jan 2010 08:00:00 -0500 Those license plate hider-things have been shown to be ineffective against traffic cameras, anyway, so if you're really trying extra hard to hide your license plate, you really might have secret motives. Very secret motives. In fact, this might call for some sleuthing! - - - - (That last comment is particularly funny if you've seen Christopher Durang's "The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Where Babies Come From". A one-act play which I highly recommend - go watch a version on Youtube.) - - - - I was always a bigger fan of Joe. I have no idea why. I think it's because I thought Frank was a lame name. Those license plate hider-things have been shown to be ineffective against traffic cameras, anyway, so if you're really trying extra hard to hide your license plate, you really might have secret motives. Very secret motives. In fact, this might call for some sleuthing! - - - - (That last comment is particularly funny if you've seen Christopher Durang's "The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Where Babies Come From". A one-act play which I highly recommend - go watch a version on Youtube.) - - - - I was always a bigger fan of Joe. I have no idea why. I think it's because I thought Frank was a lame name. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson540.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson540.html Wed, 6 Jan 2010 10:00:00 -0500 Really, if you say it in a creepy way, it probably will get people to stop saying it around you. Any hint of humor on your part will probably prolong the practice. - - - - So remember, kids, 'in bed' can always be countered with 'with my scrotum' or something to that effect. And it's a perfect chance to put your skills at being creepy to effect. Try it on any of these fortunes and see. (http://joshmadison.com/article/fortune-cookie-fortunes/) - - - - Parents - this will probably be overwhelmingly effective on your teenage children. Really, if you say it in a creepy way, it probably will get people to stop saying it around you. Any hint of humor on your part will probably prolong the practice. - - - - So remember, kids, 'in bed' can always be countered with 'with my scrotum' or something to that effect. And it's a perfect chance to put your skills at being creepy to effect. Try it on any of these fortunes and see. (http://joshmadison.com/article/fortune-cookie-fortunes/) - - - - Parents - this will probably be overwhelmingly effective on your teenage children. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson539.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson539.html Tues, 5 Jan 2010 08:20:00 -0500 Even better if it directly follows up someone proposing on the jumbotron. - - - - People, if you're proposing to your significant other, don't draw me in by hoping I'll be one of 40,000 people going 'awwwww' when he/she says yes, OK? I won't be saying 'awwwww', I'll likely be telling you to get a room. It's really not as romantic as you think it will be. Even better if it directly follows up someone proposing on the jumbotron. - - - - People, if you're proposing to your significant other, don't draw me in by hoping I'll be one of 40,000 people going 'awwwww' when he/she says yes, OK? I won't be saying 'awwwww', I'll likely be telling you to get a room. It's really not as romantic as you think it will be. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson538.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson538.html Mon, 4 Jan 2010 07:35:00 -0500 You were born into the human race - if you're not creeping people out, you're not doing your part to exist. You were born into the human race - if you're not creeping people out, you're not doing your part to exist. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson537.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson537.html Sun, 3 Jan 2010 10:00:00 -0500 Basically, there's adventuring without common sense, and then there's living inside a protective bubble. Most people tend to forget about the second self-imposed limit. - - - - I think I have dodos on the brain - couldn't change the punchline no matter how hard I tried. I blame reading the Thursday Next series to completion, even if the first book was the only one that was all that good. Basically, there's adventuring without common sense, and then there's living inside a protective bubble. Most people tend to forget about the second self-imposed limit. - - - - I think I have dodos on the brain - couldn't change the punchline no matter how hard I tried. I blame reading the Thursday Next series to completion, even if the first book was the only one that was all that good. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation39.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation39.html Sat, 2 Jan 2010 10:00:00 -0500 By now, you have to have seen the video of the tool-using octopus, right? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DoWdHOtlrk) Just amazing. - - - - On a side note, the number of recitation questions I get about various warlords - be they octopi, aliens, zombies, or any other type of creature - really seems to indicate how happy all of you would be for someone else to take over for mankind so you all can lay back and relax. Further proof humanity is lazy. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in (danteshepherd at gmail dot com), but preferably if the question has more than four seconds of thought put into it. And no more about warlords, please. By now, you have to have seen the video of the tool-using octopus, right? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DoWdHOtlrk) Just amazing. - - - - On a side note, the number of recitation questions I get about various warlords - be they octopi, aliens, zombies, or any other type of creature - really seems to indicate how happy all of you would be for someone else to take over for mankind so you all can lay back and relax. Further proof humanity is lazy. - - - - If you've got a question for recitation, send it on in (danteshepherd at gmail dot com), but preferably if the question has more than four seconds of thought put into it. And no more about warlords, please. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson536.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson536.html Fri, 1 Jan 2010 10:10:00 -0500 Got a new hat for Christmas. Frankly, it was probably time, even though the dark blue is really throwing me off. Almost feel like I just jumped on the bandwagon because of how new it is, just like how every October you see completely pristine Yankee hats suddenly come out of the closet where they've been for the last year. Ohhhh! Got a new hat for Christmas. Frankly, it was probably time, even though the dark blue is really throwing me off. Almost feel like I just jumped on the bandwagon because of how new it is, just like how every October you see completely pristine Yankee hats suddenly come out of the closet where they've been for the last year. Ohhhh! ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson535.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson535.html Thurs, 31 Dec 2009 08:15:00 -0500 Usually I play Semisonic's "This Will Be My Year" (http://www.last.fm/music/Semisonic/_/This+Will+Be+My+Year) around this time of year, as the music is upbeat and happy and makes me feel hopeful for the next year, and then I listen to the lyrics and remember it's about someone fighting addiction and desperation and somehow the song feels a little less happy. Kind of like the double meaning in the comic above. - - - - Anyway, another year is at an end. Instead of resolutions, I'll be setting a few goals for myself: - Double the number of interviews I gave this year (http://fandomania.com/webcomic-wednesday-surviving-the-world/) (http://www.camelliasoftware.com/xcentrikz/newssurvivingtheworld.htm) (http://www.anchorweb.org/polopoly_fs/1.2110025!/Anchor12-1-09Op.pdf). - At least one STW talk at a college/in public. Hopefully two. - Another great guest-lecture week, as well as a guest-comic week done entirely by you, the readers. - - - - Thanks, everyone, for reading and sharing around the site as much as you have this past year. I hope the new year brings nothing but good for all of you and those close to you. Happy New Year. Usually I play Semisonic's "This Will Be My Year" (http://www.last.fm/music/Semisonic/_/This+Will+Be+My+Year) around this time of year, as the music is upbeat and happy and makes me feel hopeful for the next year, and then I listen to the lyrics and remember it's about someone fighting addiction and desperation and somehow the song feels a little less happy. Kind of like the double meaning in the comic above. - - - - Anyway, another year is at an end. Instead of resolutions, I'll be setting a few goals for myself: - Double the number of interviews I gave this year (http://fandomania.com/webcomic-wednesday-surviving-the-world/) (http://www.camelliasoftware.com/xcentrikz/newssurvivingtheworld.htm) (http://www.anchorweb.org/polopoly_fs/1.2110025!/Anchor12-1-09Op.pdf). - At least one STW talk at a college/in public. Hopefully two. - Another great guest-lecture week, as well as a guest-comic week done entirely by you, the readers. - - - - Thanks, everyone, for reading and sharing around the site as much as you have this past year. I hope the new year brings nothing but good for all of you and those close to you. Happy New Year. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson534.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson534.html Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:20:00 -0500 Did you know it's not OK to wear a T-shirt after it's gotten holes in it? Even if you're wearing a shirt underneath? Apparently it doesn't matter where or when you got the shirt, or if it commemorates a game that you were at where someone hit a walk-off homer and the home team rallied for seven runs in the bottom of the ninth. Apparently it's not OK to continue wearing this shirt in public! Who knew! Did you know it's not OK to wear a T-shirt after it's gotten holes in it? Even if you're wearing a shirt underneath? Apparently it doesn't matter where or when you got the shirt, or if it commemorates a game that you were at where someone hit a walk-off homer and the home team rallied for seven runs in the bottom of the ninth. Apparently it's not OK to continue wearing this shirt in public! Who knew! ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson533.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson533.html Tues, 29 Dec 2009 09:15:00 -0500 The real problem with ‘end-of-the-year’ lists is that the critics who write them are trying to focus on the ‘best’ items in that field, and not necessarily their ‘favorites’. There’s a major different between the two, right? For example, I will gladly agree that Citizen Kane is probably the best movie of all time, considering all the new approaches it brought to camera angles and storytelling, and how groundbreaking it was as a result. However, it’s not my favorite movie, and certainly wouldn’t be in my personal top 10. And that’s my real problem with the ‘end-of-the-year’ lists – rarely do you see a critic actually go by their favorites, as they’ll instead approach the subject in terms of the artist’s scope, intentions, and lasting impact. So I went through and put together my own top ten list of my favorite albums of the year (http://survivingtheworld.net/TopTenAlbums2009.html). Music has always been important to me, and was going to play a major role in the original concept of Surviving the World. If anything, that’s the one aspect of the webcomic that I am disappointed to have permanently missing. Hopefully, a few of these albums were your favorites, too, or potentially will provide you with new bands’ bandwagons to jump on board. Enjoy. (You can also compare to the lists of other webcomic people, in case you prefer their tastes to mine. Won’t hold that against you, either.) The real problem with ‘end-of-the-year’ lists is that the critics who write them are trying to focus on the ‘best’ items in that field, and not necessarily their ‘favorites’. There’s a major different between the two, right? For example, I will gladly agree that Citizen Kane is probably the best movie of all time, considering all the new approaches it brought to camera angles and storytelling, and how groundbreaking it was as a result. However, it’s not my favorite movie, and certainly wouldn’t be in my personal top 10. And that’s my real problem with the ‘end-of-the-year’ lists – rarely do you see a critic actually go by their favorites, as they’ll instead approach the subject in terms of the artist’s scope, intentions, and lasting impact. So I went through and put together my own top ten list of my favorite albums of the year (http://survivingtheworld.net/TopTenAlbums2009.html). Music has always been important to me, and was going to play a major role in the original concept of Surviving the World. If anything, that’s the one aspect of the webcomic that I am disappointed to have permanently missing. Hopefully, a few of these albums were your favorites, too, or potentially will provide you with new bands’ bandwagons to jump on board. Enjoy. (You can also compare to the lists of other webcomic people, in case you prefer their tastes to mine. Won’t hold that against you, either.) ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson532.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson532.html Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:15:00 -0500 I just wrote a long rant about the "coddled generation" and parenting and kindergarten teaching and smacking poorly disciplined kids, and had to delete it because of how unhinged it made me sound. Let me just say that the longer you let someone live under the idea that everyone is special, the harsher and more crushing the reality blow will be once they grow up and escape the influence of their parents or teachers. Don't do this to people if you truly care about them. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The aughts are over! Time to start pushing your everyone you know on calling the next decade the 'onesies'! Let's get ahead of the curve on this one, folks. ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson531.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson531.html Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0500 ]]> http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson530.html http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson530.html Sat, 26 Dec 2009 08:15:00 -0500 ]]>