Lesson #1113 - Sabermetrics

Time for the annual baseball comic on the day of the All-Star game! I'm sure I'm going to get emailed links to a hundred different standards for what the bases represent - first base is making out! no, first base is just hand-holding! no, first base involves a sex act in which you sacrifice a live chicken to Jobu! - but really, please don't. The sexual bases is an argument better suited for drunk college students in a bar than over the internet.

The connotation of sexual acts in creepy basements might actually elucidate why 'traditionalists' make their standard crack about the stats guys living in their mothers' basements. Although factoring in the mother's basement into the connotation of creepy basement sexual acts is kind of you know what I'm just going to stop.