Archive

Lesson #3548 - Class Dismissed
Lesson #3547 - Anniversary, Part X . . . . . "ANNIVERSARY X" Is A Great Name For The Tenth Anniversary, By The Way
Lesson #3546 - Coming To A Close . . . . . The Cat Did NOT Enjoy This
Lesson #3545 - Lifelong Learning . . . . . This Is How You Survive
Lesson #3544 - Parental Humor . . . . . You Are All My Children, In A Way, A Very Very Tangential Way, Anyway, All Of You, Go To Your Respective Rooms
Lesson #3543 - Enough And More . . . . . Family Fun For Hours!
Lesson #3542 - Love . . . . . Fine-Swoon Your Sexuality
Lesson #3541 - Circle Of Living . . . . . "What Is It, To Be Human?" The Robot Asked. "Well," The Human Answered, "It's A Lot Of Self-Hatred."

Lesson #3540 - Birds . . . . . Tobias Is The Exception
Lesson #3539 - Human Interaction . . . . . And That's How I Became A Sleepy Hermit
Lesson #3538 - Bromides . . . . . Your Orgo Professor Will Love It If You Say "How Cliche" Everytime They Try To Teach You About Bromides
Lesson #3537 - Inspiring . . . . . Take It Anyway And Hope For The Best
Lesson #3536 - Superpowers . . . . . The Troutstanding Grouperman
Lesson #3535 - Thoughts and Prayers . . . . . At Least There's No Need For The Angry Hatemailers To Bother With Me, Here At The End
Lesson #3534 - Creeping People Out, Part XXVIII . . . . . Punching Nazis Is Just Self-Defense
Lesson #3533 - Band Names . . . . . Cue The Air Flow Guitar
Lesson #3532 - Strategy . . . . . Shouting "Ahhhh, Snakes" All The Time Is Kind Of Fun, At Least
Lesson #3531 - After-After-School . . . . . A Slate Gravestone That You Can Change My Information On

Lesson #3530 - Steady-State . . . . . Rest In Peace
Lesson #3529 - Some People, Ugh . . . . . Some People Act Like A Butt Too But It's Harder To Make The Term Directly Applicable
Lesson #3528 - Cannibals . . . . . Compete Or Be Eat, I Guess
Lesson #3527 - Suggested Names: Vampire Slaying . . . . . That Stakes The Cake
Lesson #3526 - Parenting . . . . . Poor Schrodinger, Reduced To The Owner Of A Thought Experiment
Lesson #3525 - Agriculture . . . . . Please Don't Weaponize Sheep, That'd Be Woolful Negligence, Or Something
Lesson #3524 - Impact . . . . . You All Had A Deep Impact, You All Are Likely A Meteor Come To Destroy Me
Lesson #3523 - Teaching . . . . . Sooooooooo Many Axes
Lesson #3522 - Feedback . . . . . Exhibit #111349239346 In My Case That Brains Are Jerks
Lesson #3521 - Books . . . . . Books Are Dangerous, Imagine If A Whole Shelf Fell On You

Lesson #3520 - The End Is In Sight . . . . . Let's All Have A Nice Cleansing Vomit Together, That Sounds Like A Thing
Lesson #3519 - Pregnancy Tests . . . . . People Are Not Going To Read That File Under, Are They
Lesson #3518 - Questing . . . . . Join Me!
Lesson #3517 - Up To Something . . . . . Never Trust A Cat
Lesson #3516 - Inventions . . . . . It's All Wordplay From Here To The End, I'm Just Cloning It In
Lesson #3515 - Fishing . . . . . How Many Baseball Articles Have Already Used This Pun?
Lesson #3514 - Going Medieval . . . . . Probably Something With A Horse, Maybe A War ... Horse? No, That's Too Simple
Lesson #3513 - Prophecies . . . . . Hear That, Jocasta?
Lesson #3512 - Nail Polish . . . . . Honestly, Shout It Whether Your Nails Are Painted Or Not, Men Are Scum
Lesson #3511 - A Mystery . . . . . The Forensic Scientist's Name Is Stan Dard Deviation

Lesson #3510 - Books . . . . . "I'm Only On Tree Tissue 64, But I'm Loving The Book So Far"
Lesson #3509 - Comics For Cannonball . . . . . Kind Of Contradictory To The Previous Comic
Lesson #3508 - - Comics For Cannonball . . . . . The Cat Is Displeased In The Picture, For Obvious Reasons
Lesson #3507 - - Comics For Cannonball . . . . . I Could Prove This With NSF Grant Support
Lesson #3506 - - Comics For Cannonball . . . . . I Drink Beer And Sometimes See Fairies, So This Checks Out
Lesson #3505 - - Comics For Cannonball . . . . . Seems The Return On Such A Challenge Was Pretty ... Stable
Lesson #3504 - Restaurants . . . . . What Will I Do When STW Ends? Honestly, I'll Still Probably Be On RhymeZone All The Time, Just Without A Reason To Do So Anymore
Lesson #3503 - Disdain . . . . . Here's To You, Haters
Lesson #3502 - Bouts . . . . . The Fight Will Last From Dusk To Prawn
Lesson #3501 - Offspring . . . . . There's Some Therapy In Their Future And That's Probably A Good Thing

Lesson #3500 - Experiences . . . . . Just Because You Could Do Yours In Pencil Doesn't Mean Others Were Also Given A Pencil In Addition To A Pen
Lesson #3499 - Fairies . . . . . Oh, Fairies, They Have Their Fun
Lesson #3498 - Guilty . . . . . We Are Being Led By The Dumbest Criminals Imaginable
Lesson #3497 - Pigs . . . . . You Would Think I Feel Some Shame For This But No I Don't
Lesson #3496 - Answering . . . . . Chicken Eye, Chicken Hair, Chicken Brow, Chicken Shin
Lesson #3495 - Trumpets . . . . . Out There In Your Birthday Toots
Lesson #3494 - Villainry . . . . . Demon Lizard Patriarchy And All That
Lesson #3493 - Vote . . . . . You Don't Have To But You HAVE To
Lesson #3492 - Farm Wisdom . . . . . Where Does One Usually Obtain A Tiger
Student Presentation #28 - Roots . . . . .
Lesson #3491 - Easter . . . . . 8th Coming: Easter VIII: The Last Jesus

Lesson #3490 - Visible . . . . . It's All Just Chemistry
Lesson #3489 - Sleep . . . . . Don't Try Anything Funny, Brain, Or I'll Poke You With Some Alcohol
Lesson #3488 - Swing Away . . . . . Remember, A 30% Success Rate Is Pretty Good
Lesson #3487 - Truth . . . . . RhymeZone Is My Dearest Friend
Lesson #3486 - Definitions, Part XXXVIII . . . . . About As Risque As We Get Around Here
Lesson #3485 - Holes . . . . . Hold On, We're Sending Lassie Down After You
Lesson #3484 - Glass . . . . . So Many Blatant Hypocrites These Days, Like We Can't See Their Stored Bones A-Rattling Away
Lesson #3483 - Children . . . . . Abounding With Love And Sorrow Today
Lesson #3482 - Signs . . . . . Vote. Please.
Lesson #3481 - Deviant Burials . . . . . Any Zombie That Emerges After Digging The Wrong Way Through The Earth Is Going To Be PIIIIIISSSSSSSSSED

Lesson #3480 - Truth On Display . . . . . And All The Bats Have Rabies
Lesson #3479 - Chart Humor . . . . . A Master Of The Charts, Over Here
Lesson #3478 - Doomsday (Bracket Week X) . . . . . I'm Rooting For Simulation, Myself
Lesson #3477 - Decisions (Bracket Week X) . . . . . Not Worth Watching
Lesson #3476 - The Ravages of Learning (Bracket Week X) . . . . . They've Been Zombified
Lesson #3475 - The Ravages of Learning (Bracket Week X) . . . . . Enthusiasm Is Wasted By The Young
Lesson #3474 - Work To Do (Bracket Week X) . . . . . And That's Why I Replaced My Blood With Coffee
Lesson #3473 - To-Do List (Bracket Week X) . . . . . Hmmmm, I Should Put 'Breathing' On Here
Lesson #3472 - Creation (Bracket Week X) . . . . . X Marks The Spot Where Bracket Week Must Die
Lesson #3471 - Mooning, Part II . . . . . My Daughters Have Decided It Is Fun To Moon Me And I Regret Teaching Them That Term

Lesson #3470 - Mooning, Part I . . . . . Look, This Is The Only Way I Could Pull Off Mooning You In A Comic
Lesson #3469 - Brunch . . . . . Multi-Pain Bagels For Everyone
Lesson #3468 - Good Friends . . . . . Oh, That's Why I Have So Few Friends
Lesson #3467 - Pro-Women . . . . . Or Amateur-Women, For That Matter
Lesson #3466 - Suggested Names: Teachable Moments . . . . . Learning Daylight
Lesson #3465 - Teaching . . . . . Teach For The Stars, Blarrrgh, That Entirely Misses The Point Of Teaching
Lesson #3464 - The Oscars . . . . . Best Acting Like, Look, I Just Want To See Eternal Sunshine Again
Lesson #3463 - Dad Jokes . . . . . "Mom Jokes" Have Their Own Unfair Connotation
Lesson #3462 - Coffee . . . . . "Stay Away From My Pot! What? No, You Can Have The Marijuana, I Meant The Coffee"
Lesson #3461 - Interrogation . . . . . A Pitcher For The Snitcher

Lesson #3460 - Suggested Names: Bakeries, Part II . . . . . Crumbing Out Of My Shell? . . . One Could Say That This Comic Made Me . . . Crumb Unhinged
Lesson #3459 - Creative Romance . . . . . Oh, And In My Creative Romance With The Exact Same Person Who Is My Wife, She Does Not Threaten To Shave Off My Eyebrows
Lesson #3458 - Flat Earthers . . . . . Please Remember That Flat Earthers Do Not Believe Mars Is Flat, As If That Somehow Makes Sense
Lesson #3457 - Olympic History, Part IX . . . . . Cats Don't Need Their Own Olympics Nor Do They Care, Really
Lesson #3456 - Drunk Wisdom . . . . . Hey, Let's Get Tattoos
Lesson #3455 - When All's Said And Gun . . . . . Let's Make This One Goddamn Count, If We Have To
Lesson #3454 - When All's Said And Gun . . . . . And I Teach Now, And All Of My Students Are Quasi-Children, And I Refuse To Let Any Of My Kids Be At Risk
Lesson #3453 - When All's Said And Gun . . . . . And I'm Pissed, And Depressed, And Worried
Lesson #3452 - When All's Said And Gun . . . . . But If You Make Comics For Ten Years, There's Far Too Many Tragedies That Can Happen In That Timeframe
Lesson #3451 - When All's Said And Gun . . . . . I Used To Think I'd Only Take Political Stands On STW On LGBT Issues

Lesson #3450 - Stories . . . . . For Horror Stories, Spookificity Is The Soul Of Scare-ative
Lesson #3449 - Half-Lives . . . . . How Many Of These Are You Willing To Stand
Lesson #3448 - Half-Lives . . . . . How Many Of These Are You Willing To Allow
Lesson #3447 - Half-Lives . . . . . How Much Of This Are You Able To Prolong
Lesson #3446 - Half-Lives . . . . . How Much Of This Are You Able To Notice
Lesson #3445 - Yet Again . . . . . So Sick Of This
Lesson #3444 - Valentine to the World . . . . . Roses Are Red / Violets Are Blue / If You're A Powerful Man / We're Coming For You
Lesson #3443 - Trophies . . . . . So, Sooooooooooooo Many Funnels
Lesson #3442 - Olympic History, Part VIII . . . . . The Defeat Helped Convinced The Swiss To Maintain Neutrality In The Future
Lesson #3441 - Olympic History, Part VII . . . . . The Ice Age Was Surprisingly Recent

Lesson #3440 - Definitions, Part XXXVII . . . . . This Joke Will Be Remembered Throughout Hisssssstory
Lesson #3439 - Exams . . . . . This Seems Like A Joke, But I Know A Professor Who Does This As Regular Practice
Lesson #3438 - Exams . . . . . When Taking A Test And Slaying A Beast Are The Same Thing
Lesson #3437 - Exams . . . . . What? No, I've Always Been A Sociology Major, I've Never Heard Of This, How Do You Say It . . . "Math"?
Lesson #3436 - Exams . . . . . No Wonder Life In Sunnydale Was So Crazy
Lesson #3435 - Age . . . . . My Inner Child Is Probably In His Twenties, Which Is A Problem In Itself
Lesson #3434 - Haircuts . . . . . If Only I Could Rock That Underbuzzcut Thing
Lesson #3433 - Groundhog Time . . . . . Reincarnation Is Just Groundhog Life But With Sequels
Lesson #3432 - Supposed Luck . . . . . "Oh, And Stepping In Dog Doo Is Good Now, Sure, Why Not"
Lesson #3431 - Assessing Oration . . . . . Ugh, Reality

Lesson #3430 - Hope's Fists . . . . . Be Hope's Suckerpunch If You Have To
Lesson #3429 - Home Repairs . . . . . It's A Step Up From Duct Tape But That's About It
Lesson #3428 - Home Repairs . . . . . A Vacuum Is Good Insulation From Breathing Penetration
Lesson #3427 - Home Repairs . . . . . I Should Put These Spiders To Work, They've Got Enough Legs To Help
Lesson #3426 - Home Repairs . . . . . Hello, Come Here Often?
Lesson #3425 - Accomplishments . . . . . I Sat Around The House For Six Hours While A Plumber Did Things Today, I DEFINITELY Deserve A Beer
Lesson #3424 - Time Travel . . . . . Like You Wouldn't Go To College For This
Lesson #3423 - Touched . . . . . This Is Why We Were Made In God's Image, So He Had A Source Of Readily Available Drinking Nearby
Lesson #3422 - Other Zoos . . . . . Jasperanha
Lesson #3421 - Worse . . . . . Water In Your Walls Is Better Or Worse Than In Your Basement?
Lesson #3420 - Heights . . . . . It's Too Bad You Can't See My Kids, They're Darn Amazing
Lesson #3419 - Universal Laws . . . . . Sometimes I'm Not Convinced That Someone Didn't Set Off An Entropy Bomb And This Is Just The Fallout
Lesson #3418 - As They Say . . . . . Making Stupid Comics Is Strangely Fulfilling
Lesson #3417 - Limes . . . . . How Does This Comic Taste With A Corona
Lesson #3416 - 'Inspirational' . . . . . Happy MLK Day
Lesson #3415 - Fruit Craziness . . . . . Here's Hoping This Scale Has A-Peel
Lesson #3414 - Everyday Superheroics . . . . . Imagine If Every Kindergartener Was Greeted On The First Day With Their Mask, Imagine How That Would Affect Attitudes
Lesson #3413 - Creeping People Out, Part XXVII . . . . . Never Tell Them What You've Heard
Student Work - Heat Exchanger Comic . . . . . by Amy Sevigny and Rachel Vozikis
Student Work - Heat Transfer Music Video . . . . . by Courtney Cavanaugh, Heather Leahy, Anila Mehta, and Sarah Sidd
Student Work - Composite Walls Comic . . . . . by Sara Canzano
Student Work - Heat Transfer Video . . . . . by Wil Medeiros
Student Work - Convection Comic . . . . . by Abdulrahman AlMashaan
Lesson #3412 - Genius . . . . . Duh
Lesson #3411 - Seances . . . . . And Just As You Get Rid Of The Chickens, The Boo Cows Take Over

Lesson #3410 - Snowfall . . . . . I Blame Frosty And Call For His Head
Lesson #3409 - Tears Of Something . . . . . It's Like Job And Candide Had A Child And That's Now The President
Lesson #3408 - Werewolves . . . . . Dinner Is Served, Come And Eat While It's Still A-Wooing
Lesson #3407 - Annual Reset . . . . . Blow On The Cartridge While It's Still In The Console, Somehow
Lesson #3406 - Year-End Transitions . . . . . Cuteness Is A Weapon, To Be Fair
Lesson #3405 - Risky Resolutions . . . . . And This Is Why 2017 Was A Hellhole
Lesson #3404 - Definitions, Part XXXVI . . . . . The Only Way To Win Is To Not To Resolve
Lesson #3403 - Resolutions . . . . . I SHALL SEIZE MY VENGEANCE ON THIS IDIOCY AND ALL BOOKS SHALL COWER BEFORE ME
Lesson #3402 - Eating . . . . . How Many Cat Hairs Have I Eaten Each Year, There's A Terrifying Question
Lesson #3401 - Under One Roof . . . . . Here's To All You Covering Up Tattoos, Queerness, And Every Other Virtue Perceived As A Vice

Lesson #3400 - Joy, As You Will Have It . . . . . Sometimes I Ensure That Certain Comics Are Posted Just To Bother My Students
Lesson #3399 - 'Twas The Night . . . . . And I Heard Him Exclaim / As He Shouted To Everyone / Happy Christmas To All / And To All A Good Pun
Lesson #3398 - 12 Days . . . . . It's Been . . . 12 Days Since You Didn't Give Me Stuff, Dipped Your Arms To The Sides And Said "I'll Give You Enough"
Lesson #3397 - Out In A Field . . . . . Rhymezone Has Been My Very Close Friend This Entire Month
Lesson #3396 - Popular Traditions . . . . . For Your House, Not Mine
Lesson #3395 - Christmas Hearts . . . . . Not Every Christmas Gets Saved
Lesson #3394 - Holiday Desserts . . . . . I Need Help
Lesson #3393 - Egg Nog . . . . . Oh No, I Spilled It On My Pants, Now It Is Leg Nog
Lesson #3392 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . Even Further Technically, It Would Still Be White On A Greyscale? Whatever
Lesson #3391 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . Hounds Don't Bark, But You Get The Idea
Lesson #3390 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . Yeah, Yeah, Santa Paws
Lesson #3389 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . The Squirrels Have Come, Let Dogs Receive Their Squirrels
Lesson #3388 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . German Is Actually Flea Free And theSwede Will Be Unhappy With Me When She Sees This One
Lesson #3387 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . Fa La La La La, La La La Woof
Lesson #3386 - Happy Howlidays . . . . . CORRECTION: With A Hound, It's Always The Most Hounderful Time Of The Year
Lesson #3385 - Santa By Any Other Name . . . . . Imagine Santa Being Crossbred With A Shark
Lesson #3384 - Santa By Any Other Name . . . . . Santa Will Only Be So Jolly Depending How Many Times He Hears That Friggin' Song
Lesson #3383 - Santa By Any Other Name . . . . . Maybe Santa Put Her In A Trance, Santa Is A Vampire
Lesson #3382 - Santa By Any Other Name . . . . . Could You Just Clean Out The Gutters While You're Up There?
Lesson #3381 - Frosty The _____ . . . . . Maybe Frosty's Sentience Transfers, Then Is It Really Killing Anything

Lesson #3380 - Other Santa . . . . . Mediocre Santa Works With "Wellves . . ."
Lesson #3379 - The Big Man . . . . . I Think This Was An Episode Of Ninja Turtles
Lesson #3378 - Up On The Rooftop . . . . . You're Gonna Need A Lot Of Brains
Lesson #3377 - Haul Out The Holly . . . . . Who Is This Holly, Why Is She Being Hauled
Lesson #3376 - Trim The Tree . . . . . It'll Really Make Your Tree Pop...Corn
Lesson #3375 - So There's That . . . . . It's The Little Things That Drive You To Fight The Big Things
Lesson #3374 - Angry . . . . . What Sauce Will You Dip Your Cooked Rich Into?
Lesson #3373 - Inequality . . . . . Please Bring Me A Leg
Lesson #3372 - Uncertainty . . . . . Statistics Are Mean
Lesson #3371 - Blazing Candles . . . . . A Nice Wax Coating Around The Cake

Lesson #3370 - Family . . . . . What Is The Fugacity Of One Family Compared To Another
Lesson #3369 - Holiday Overlap . . . . . "Pumble Pumble"
Lesson #3368 - Thanksgiving Krampus . . . . . Its Name Is "Gravy"
Lesson #3367 - Hand and Foot to Mouth . . . . . Dig In, With Your Fingers And Toes
Lesson #3366 - Net Neutrality . . . . . Own The Right To Your Own Piece Of Dumbness
Lesson #3365 - Remembering Others . . . . . United We Live, Divided Some Die
Lesson #3364 - Ghost Power . . . . . In Honor Of My Saving The Planet, Please Knock Down My High School With A Wrecking Ball, That Seems An Apt Enough Tribute
Lesson #3363 - Listen . . . . . "Well In MY Experience-" SHHHHHHHHH JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Lesson #3362 - Listen . . . . . "We Have The Same Experience, How Can That Possibly Be True"
Lesson #3361 - Listen . . . . . "Well, That's Not MY Experience"

Lesson #3360 - Humor . . . . . 3360 Pieces Of Evidence That I Don't Know What I'm Talking About, Of Course
Lesson #3359 - Harassment . . . . . Knock That Shit Off Of Not Knocking That Shit Off
Lesson #3358 - Education . . . . . This Explains Some Of My Students
Lesson #3357 - Upbringing . . . . . First Person To Discover The Cheat Code To Escaping Nature Vs. Nurture Wins A False Identity
Lesson #3356 - Exams . . . . . Just Light 'Em All On Fire And Give Everyone C's
Lesson #3355 - Believed . . . . . Shut Up And Listen And Believe The Truth For Once
Lesson #3354 - Examples . . . . . Pay Attention, There Will Be A Quiz, The Grade Will Be On Your Humane-ity
Lesson #3353 - Examples . . . . . The Colony Is All Around You
Lesson #3352 - Speak . . . . . Be Loud
Lesson #3351 - For Yays And Nays . . . . . I Won't Tell You How Much This Grant Proposal Was For, I'll Let You Read The News About It Next Year

Lesson #3350 - Other Fairy Tales . . . . . In A Far Away Land, Lived A Princess. And In A Nearby Land, Was A Control Group
Lesson #3349 - Calendar Wars . . . . . To Weather The Weather, Just Wear Coats Over Our Costumes
Lesson #3348 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Although Love IS The Answer
Lesson #3347 - Calendar Wars . . . . . We Could Also Eliminate April Fool's As Our Armies Pass By, No One Would Stop Us
Lesson #3346 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Yeah, Even I'm Not Stupid Enough To Make A Stereotype About Mothers' Day
Lesson #3345 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Allow The Battle Of Dads Vs. Grads To Be The Perfect Decoy For The Troops To Move On Past
Lesson #3344 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Once We Move Through, As The Song Goes, These Dogs Days Will Be Over
Lesson #3343 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Plus, We're Masters Of Disguise, They'll Never See Us Coming
Lesson #3342 - Calendar Wars . . . . . They Say Everything Is Gravy But I'm Not So Sure
Lesson #3341 - Calendar Wars . . . . . Diehard Is The Best Christmas Propaganda
Lesson #3340 - Calendar Wars . . . . . I Wasted Too Much Time Thinking About This
Lesson #3339 - Halloween . . . . . Live Your Halloween If You Can, I Guess
Lesson #3338 - Professional Halloween . . . . . Well, That's A Happy Note
Lesson #3337 - Professional Halloween . . . . . The Candy Density Decreases Too
Lesson #3336 - Professional Halloween . . . . . Ignore The Weirdo Taking A Picture Over Here
Lesson #3335 - Professional Halloween . . . . . They Won't Let Me Wear The Costume I Need To Be Less Of A Impostor
Lesson #3334 - Mad Doctors . . . . . Doctor? Doctor. Doctor. Doctor! Doctor.
Lesson #3333 - Evil Numbers . . . . . What's The Most Evil Letter, Do We Know
Lesson #3332 - Suckers . . . . . I'm A Sucker For Romance
Lesson #3331 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part IX . . . . . There's Nothing Better Than Having To Explain It

Lesson #3330 - Community . . . . . One Individual Either Strengthens The Overall Group Or Throws Off The Conformist Unanimity, What A Set Of Options
Lesson #3329 - Say No . . . . . Blargh
Lesson #3328 - Grading Plan . . . . . I'm So Tired, How Can This Not Work
Lesson #3327 - Grading . . . . . I've Had Better Experiences
Lesson #3326 - Exam Problems, Part III . . . . . Do They Learn Anything? Who Knows
Student Presentation #27 - Empathy . . . . .
Lesson #3325 - Changing Things . . . . . Does The Broken Glass Shatter Inwards Or Outwards
Lesson #3324 - Love Getaway . . . . . The Right Lyrics Are The Greatest Torture We Can Create
Lesson #3323 - In/Out . . . . . So Many Queer Spectrums, You Can't Completely Blame People For Not Understanding Them At First Glance. At First Glance, At Least
Lesson #3322 - Sports . . . . . Maybe I Should Take Up Economics, That Seems Like A Better Idea, More Easygoing
Lesson #3321 - Disclaimers . . . . . As For Nudity, Well, Sex Ed Is A Joke These Days

Lesson #3320 - Difficulty Settings . . . . . All The Kids On The Block Are Already Saying These
Lesson #3319 - Sports . . . . . Blargh
Lesson #3318 - Creating . . . . . C'Mon, Claypril Is Pretty Great
Lesson #3317 - Now? . . . . . Or Maybe Now? . . . Or Now?
Lesson #3316 - Orgo . . . . . Bringing Back Cruel Nightmares For Some People
Lesson #3315 - Thoughts and Prayers . . . . . My Sincere Condolences To All Affected. I'm Going To Fight For You Because What The Hell Else Can I Do, Just Sit Around And Do Nothing
Lesson #3314 - At The Fair . . . . . "YOU WILL HAVE FUN OR WE WILL GO HOME"
Lesson #3313 - Rage . . . . . We're All Here To Keep Each Other Human And Humane
Lesson #3312 - All For One . . . . . All For One, One For One, All For Screwed
Lesson #3311 - Swamps . . . . . I Think They Actually Tapped The Swamp For Extra Mana


Lesson #3310 - Goodness . . . . . We Can Do Better, We Can ALWAYS DO BETTER (takes a giant swig of hard cider)
Lesson #3309 - Protesting . . . . . Maybe Actually Pay Attention Ever So Briefly Or Simply Ask "Why"
Lesson #3308 - Help . . . . . You Shouldn't Need A Reward To Do The Right Thing
Lesson #3307 - Judging . . . . . The Waves Will Reverberate Through The Future
Lesson #3306 - Protests . . . . . I'm Kneeling In Basically Every Comic, So Really I Set This Protest In Motion
Lesson #3305 - Visibility . . . . . See?
Lesson #3304 - Respect . . . . . Volumes and Libraries, Really
Lesson #3303 - Willful Ignorance . . . . . Fire These Politicians Into The Sun
Lesson #3302 - Knowing . . . . . I, I, I, Wanna Know (Something Something Ten Thousand Spoons)
Lesson #3301 - Wins And Losses . . . . . Chris Cilizza Is All Over This One, The Shameless Scumbag

Lesson #3300 - Evil . . . . . Tip Of The Cap To Mike Miller And Zak Kostura For The Line
Lesson #3299 - Real Life Horror Movie . . . . . Just Kill The Franchise, Already
Lesson #3298 - Parenting . . . . . Want A Child?
Lesson #3297 - Parenting . . . . . The Door Of Damocles
Lesson #3296 - Parenting . . . . . It Never Comes Off, It Will Never Come Off
Lesson #3295 - Betrayal . . . . . I Keep Typing Betrayal As Betrawal Which I Would Guess Is Being Backstabbed While Fishing
Lesson #3294 - Sticks And Stones . . . . . But Words Will Wedge Themselves In A Brain Forever
Lesson #3293 - Academic Vampirism . . . . . No Fangs Required
Lesson #3292 - Helium . . . . . That Deflating Joke Is Gold, You Know It
Lesson #3291 - Talking About It . . . . . Silence Is Golden, That's The Economic Lesson

Lesson #3290 - Waiting . . . . . Patience Is A Virtue But How Does That Equate When Clouds Of Doom Hang Overhead
Lesson #3289 - Practical Uses . . . . . So Many Useless Facts In The Brain, Just Waiting To Be Connected To Practicality
Lesson #3288 - Weather . . . . . I Mean, WHAT ARE THE ODDS
Lesson #3287 - Effective Teaching . . . . . I Have An Idea Called A Teaching Mudder, Get The Answers Right Or I Make You Crawl Under Live Wires
Lesson #3286 - God's Message . . . . . This Is What The Catholic Church Means By "Ordinary Time"
Lesson #3285 - Fall . . . . . Some Dogs Are Hydrophobic
Lesson #3284 - Microbrewing . . . . . Weird Ethanol Mixtures For Everyone
Lesson #3283 - Endings . . . . . No Worries, The Chalkdust Cloud Will Persist At Least Another Ten Years
Lesson #3282 - Hypocrisy . . . . . Red Letter H On Everyone's Clothes
Lesson #3281 - Shoe Tying . . . . . Oh, Well, That's A Knot. Go Get A Fork

Lesson #3280 - Time . . . . . Time Marches Forward Like An Unstoppable Force, You Know, Unless You Completely Deny The Fourth Dimension. 4D YOU HAVE NO HOLD OVER ME Oh Wait I'm Older, Nuts
Lesson #3279 - Summer . . . . . Let The Learning Commence
Lesson #3278 - To The Rescue . . . . . May You Not Miss Your Moment If It Arrives
Lesson #3277 - Altruism . . . . . Let's Do What We Can, Make Others Do What They Should
Lesson #3276 - Act . . . . . This World Is Vomit Unless You Swim To The Top
Lesson #3275 - Escape . . . . . No One Can Find You When You've Been Eaten By A Bear
Lesson #3274 - Indistinguishable . . . . . Sleight-Of-Mouth
Lesson #3273 - Science . . . . . Science Is So Much More Lovable When It's Infrequent
Lesson #3272 - Eclipses . . . . . Or Is It The Moon Gods? I Don't Understand Space But I Don't Have To To Appreciate My Brief Ability To Fly
Lesson #3271 - Challenges . . . . . All An Excuse For More Learning, I Suppose

Lesson #3270 - Tough Mudder (Pre-Event) . . . . . This Was Inspired By Cormac McCarthy's "The Road", Right? I'm Going To Have To Eat A Baby At Some Point?
Lesson #3269 - Museums . . . . . See, I Still Know How To Be Funny At Times, Anyway, Back To Stuffing These Children I Found
Lesson #3268 - Good . . . . . Anyway, Back Into The Crap
Lesson #3267 - Moral Supremacy . . . . . We Are So So Harked
Lesson #3266 - Fighting . . . . . Hey, Daughters Of Mine, If You're Reading This In The Far Future, I Hope I Lived Up To What I Preached Here. If I Didn't, I Hope I'm Living With As Much Shame As I'm Currently Imagining. Also I Hope You're Not Cat People, But That I Will Blame On Your Mother
Lesson #3265 - Voices . . . . . May All The Piggies Have Conches
Lesson #3264 - Tradition Variation . . . . . What Traditions Will You Trade To Justify Your Opposition To Scientists
Lesson #3263 - Monsters . . . . . Never Stop Punching
Lesson #3262 - Gallows Cheers . . . . . May As Well Make It As Strong As Possible
Lesson #3261 - End Derivation . . . . . Why Learn Long Division When There Won't Be Any Long To Be Around For

Lesson #3260 - Nukes . . . . . This Can Only Possibly Go Well
Lesson #3259 - Adiabatic . . . . . Insulate Your Idiocy
Lesson #3258 - Home . . . . . So Much Screaming, So Very Much Screaming
Lesson #3257 - Reflections Following An Education Conference . . . . . One Can Hope
Lesson #3256 - Reflections Following An Education Conference . . . . . I Made Friends! Hurray Friends!
Lesson #3255 - Reflections Following An Education Conference . . . . . "Luck" Is Also A Synonym Here For "Privilege"
Lesson #3254 - Reflections Following An Education Conference . . . . . I'm Already A Monster, I Don't Want To Be A Professional Monster As Well
Lesson #3253 - Escape . . . . . There Had To Be SOME Reason For Their Actions
Lesson #3252 - Safety . . . . . You're Not A God Even If You Annointed Yourself As One
Lesson #3251 - Caring . . . . . It's Okay To Be A One-Note Singer If That Note Is Middle C

Lesson #3250 - Grades . . . . . I Suppose Saying The Name Of Your Grade Aloud Opens A Gateway To A Hell Dimension, That Does Predict SOMETHING
Lesson #3249 - Improvement . . . . . You Get What You Pay For
Lesson #3248 - Surprises . . . . . There's More Than One Way To Try To Kill Us, Apparently
Lesson #3247 - Responsibility . . . . . These Are The Worst Spider-Men, These Are Actual Spider People At Work Here
Lesson #3246 - Right Thing . . . . . I Give Up
Lesson #3245 - Sunshine . . . . . So They're Vampires, Essentially?
Lesson #3244 - What Are You Doing . . . . . FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MEASURE AT LEAST ONCE
Lesson #3243 - Want? . . . . . WHY DON'T YOUR FRIENDS DANCE
Lesson #3242 - Credibility . . . . . This Reality Is Its Own Satire
Lesson #3241 - Singing For Dessert . . . . . "Um, Actually, That's Not How Your Pronounce S'More" OH SHUT UP YOU

Lesson #3240 - At The Heart Of It . . . . . Just Shout "LOVE" At Every Sphinx You Come Across, Surely They'll Let You Pass Uneaten
Lesson #3239 - Victory Celebration . . . . . One Clinking Of Glasses, Then Back To Work
Lesson #3238 - Problems . . . . . Honest Trying, How Novel
Lesson #3237 - Body . . . . . Everybody, Rock Your Body, Ratstreet's Back
Lesson #3236 - Minds . . . . . It'd Be Alternately A Very Cute And Also Very Horrifying Battle To Watch
Lesson #3235 - Bed . . . . . This Could Also Refer To The Amount Of Sleep You Actually Get
Lesson #3234 - Worth . . . . . Realization Of My Minimal Worth Is Kind Of Mentally Crippling, Which Only Leads To Less Fighting, Which Only Leads To Less Worth, And Isn't Doubt Fun
Lesson #3233 - Denial . . . . . They Say They're Pro- States' Rights, And Denial IS A State
Lesson #3232 - Incompetent To The Top . . . . . INCOMPETENT TREASON, THE NEW EXTREME SPORT
Lesson #3231 - Infinite Universes . . . . . Hey Baby, Let's Get Continuous In This Continuum
Lesson #3230 - Infinite Universes . . . . . Some Deer Are Carnivorous, On The Other Hand
Lesson #3229 - Infinite Universes . . . . . There's Always A Universe Having A Worse Day Than You
Lesson #3228 - Children . . . . . I'm Not Sure I Can String Two Thoughts Together Anymore Rutabaga
Lesson #3227 - The Works . . . . . Look, We Can't Just Explode Everything, There Isn't Room In The Town Budget For That
Lesson #3226 - Freedom . . . . . If They Fought For Everyone, Why Doesn't Everyone Get The Spoils
Lesson #3225 - Freedoms . . . . . Your Freedoms Are As Full As They Are For The Minimal
Lesson #3224 - Freedoms . . . . . Your Freedoms Are As Empty As The Suits In Charge
Lesson #3223 - Hamburger . . . . . I Wasn't Even Thinking About Chef's Salad Because Chef's Salad Is Terrible

Lesson #3222 - Empowered . . . . . No Gamma Rays Required

Lesson #3221 - At Play . . . . . Maybe I'll Do See Vs. Saw Next

Lesson #3220 - The States, Part IX . . . . . Ohio Is Kind OF Shaped Like A Poorly Formed Heart, If You Squint Hard Enough
Lesson #3219 - Vigilance . . . . . I Mean, It's Almost Certainly A Vampire? A True American Vampire, Though, Can Only Be Done In By Gold
Lesson #3218 - Winners vs. Losers . . . . . The Refs Are All In The Stands, Which Is Part Of The Problem
Lesson #3217 - Health . . . . . I Tried To Draw A Syringe, It Didn't Go Well
Lesson #3216 - Trade-Off . . . . . I Was Nice, I Couldn't Believe They Decided To Kill People Anyway
Lesson #3215 - Finite Amount Of Kindness . . . . . Imagine If The Rest Of Us Didn't Have To Deal With The Consequences Of The Few Who Don't Give A Crap
Lesson #3214 - Finite Amount Of Kindness . . . . . When It's Everyone, Who Are The Others
Lesson #3213 - Finite Amount Of Kindness . . . . . Really Don't Want To Be Ready To Produce A Variation On This After The Vote
Lesson #3212 - Health Care . . . . . It's A Lot Easier For Them To Come For You When There's Fewer People Left To Come For
Lesson #3211 - Punctuation . . . . . Semicolons Are Like My Dreams? I Dunno, This Effort On My Part Is Falling Apart

Lesson #3210 - Thumped . . . . . Oh, You Poor Children Who Have No Musical Recognition, What You May Or May Not Have Missed Out On, The Horrors
Lesson #3209 - Bees . . . . . My Child Stung Me And These Baby Books Have No Suggestions On How To Proceed
Lesson #3208 - Apples And So On . . . . . How Do You Like Them Offspring
Lesson #3207 - Pitch . . . . . I've Seen The Show Titles That Come Out Of ABC Network Offices, Someone Get Me A Job There, I'd Fit Right In
Lesson #3206 - Awareness . . . . . Things Are Easier When Consciences Are Naive
Lesson #3205 - Viewpoints . . . . . So Why Should It Matter If Anything Should Ever Happen
Lesson #3204 - Memory . . . . . Why, Those Ol' Holes In My Memory Just Happen To Be Large Enough To Drive An Alibi Through
Lesson #3203 - Pitch . . . . . Why Do You Think Hollywood Never Calls, I Don't Get It
Lesson #3202 - Uninvited Guests . . . . . No, I'm Not Going To Burn The Place Down, I'm Going To Charge The Bugs Rent While I'm Stuck Outside
Lesson #3201 - Love . . . . . Hurray For Everybody, Whether You Are Parading Or Not

Lesson #3200 - Apocalypse . . . . . Chances To Avert The End Of All Things Should Be Called "Wiggle Doom"
Lesson #3199 - Definitions, Part XXXV . . . . . Don't Worry, The Rest Of Us Get Sour Candy, We Still Get Something, Unfortunately
Lesson #3198 - Monkeys . . . . . Also Matters That Only Pertain To Monkeys, So Please, A Little Privacy
Lesson #3197 - Rational . . . . . Trump Is The Root Of The Age He Acts, Which Is 2
Lesson #3196 - Pride . . . . . Won't Mind If I Tick Off A Few People With This One
Lesson #3195 - Caring . . . . . More Often Than Not, A Bad Trip, To Be Honest
Lesson #3194 - Leadership . . . . . Time To Reteach Myself Some German And Maybe To Learn Some French
Lesson #3193 - Leadership . . . . . You Know What They Say, A Great Leader Leads So Well That They Can't Recognize Everyone Else Has Left The Team
Lesson #3192 - Climate Branding . . . . . We-icide, That's What All This Is
Lesson #3191 - Anniversary, Part IX . . . . . Wooo-Whooooo Is What Owls Say

Lesson #3190 - Life . . . . . Hopefully A Very Very Long While
Lesson #3189 - Small World . . . . . A Small World Is Nothing To Take Pride In, Except When It Is
Lesson #3188 - Birthdays . . . . . Mock The Size Of The Celebration, Never The Celebration Itself
Lesson #3187 - Family Trips . . . . . It's The First Night Of Two And I Already Want To Fire These Children Into The Sun
Lesson #3186 - Treason . . . . . It's The Reason For The Season, Which Is The Season Of Stupidity And Scandals, I Guess?
Lesson #3185 - Ax . . . . . BUN-ZUH
Lesson #3184 - Character . . . . . What Color Should Our Character Values Be Displayed Above Our Heads In? Green And Red, I Guess
Lesson #3183 - Childish Enthusiasm . . . . . We Planted Pumpkins That Can Grow 6 Foot In Diameter, This Will Go Well
Lesson #3182 - Good Teaching . . . . . Let Me Get Into All Your Brain Mortar, Please
Lesson #3181 - Steady Refrains . . . . . Admittedly, One Bridge Is Much Better Than The Other

Lesson #3180 - Liquid Content . . . . . I Can't Tell If The Blindness Is From The Alcohol Or The Methanol, Someone Check On Me In An Hour
Lesson #3179 - Dreams . . . . . The Salty Ones Are The Sexy Ones, I Figure
Lesson #3178 - Current Events . . . . . A Thousand Season Finales A Minute
Lesson #3177 - Cursed . . . . . Just A Big Thumbs-Up For Reality, I Guess
Lesson #3176 - Secrecy . . . . . Pinkie Promises Are Hard To Insist Upon When You Have Tiny Hands, I Guess
Lesson #3175 - Mothers . . . . . Nobody Has Checked To See If That Maternal Strength Can Be Summoned At Times When The Child Is Not In Danger, Has Anyone
Lesson #3174 - Ingredients . . . . . Who Thought This Was A Good Idea
Lesson #3173 - Obstructions . . . . . Like In The Bowels, In This Case
Lesson #3172 - Incompetence . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lesson #3171 - Being Obvious . . . . . The President Boy Who Cried Look At Me But Don't

Lesson #3170 - Hungry . . . . . Also, Galactus
Lesson #3169 - Laughing . . . . . They Who Laugh Most Laugh Last
Lesson #3168 - Birthday Aging . . . . . Fire All Children Into The Sun
Lesson #3167 - Computer Problems . . . . . Hurray For Idiocy
Lesson #3166 - Graduation . . . . . I Shall Fill This Empty Nest With Cats, They Shall Be My New Students, Somehow
Lesson #3165 - A Full Lesson Plan . . . . . This Lesson Plan Brought To You By Health Care Repeal
Lesson #3164 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . Something Something Parents Weekend Cameos
Lesson #3163 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . That Pig Intestine Muck Ranks Among The Most Disgusting Things I've Ever Seen
Lesson #3162 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . And This Was After I Only Had Them Once
Lesson #3161 - Fun . . . . . Also Sandboxes, I Guess

Lesson #3160 - Grading . . . . . Both Potentially Quite Painful
Lesson #3159 - Grading . . . . . "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING"
Lesson #3158 - Grading . . . . . My Floor Is Very Wet Right Now
Lesson #3157 - Grades . . . . . An A Is An A, A Q Is A Q
Lesson #3156 - Teaching . . . . . The Simplest Of Math, Really, The Teacher's 1+1=2
Lesson #3155 - March For Science . . . . . And Hoping To Exist To Do It For Another 500 More
Lesson #3154 - Science Education . . . . . And Round And Round We Go
Lesson #3153 - Science Education . . . . . This Is A Very Weird Joke In Itself Anyway
Lesson #3152 - Science Education . . . . . I Look Forward To The Arrogant Idiots Arguing About This One Anyway
Lesson #3151 - Passage Of Time . . . . . Is This What They Mean By 'Safe Passage'

Lesson #3150 - Marathons . . . . . I Would Be Okay With Tears Carrying Me To The Finish Line, They'd Be Real Based On The Destroyed State Of My Knees
Lesson #3149 - Mutant Powers . . . . . So You Could Say He Was The Real McCoy, Huh? Huh? Huh?
Lesson #3148 - Taxes . . . . . Eat The Rich
Lesson #3147 - Exam Problems, Part II . . . . . I Said It Would Be About Ducks, This Is Where It Ended Up
Lesson #3146 - Exam Problems, Part II . . . . . Students Essentially Designed This Problem Without Realizing I Was Using Them For Exam Ideas
Lesson #3145 - Exam Problems, Part II . . . . . Students Were Definitely NOT Fans Of This One
Lesson #3144 - Bluffs . . . . . Today Was Not A Good Day
Lesson #3143 - Freedoms . . . . . Freedoms For Some, Tiny Flags For All
Lesson #3142 - Hypnosis . . . . . Now Count Slowly Backwards From Ten And When I Poorly Blow Up An Airbase, You'll Think I'm Presidential
Lesson #3141 - Cat Growth . . . . . I Just Live Here Because The Cats Let Me, I Think

Lesson #3140 - Birthdays . . . . . The Halfway Mark Is Because You Can Always Eat Just The Cake Or The Icing, At The Very Least
Lesson #3139 - Living With Cats . . . . . Go Back To Lesson #4 When My Living With The Cats Was Less Than Two Years Old, I Have Quite The Different Opinion
Lesson #3138 - Definitions, Part XXXIV . . . . . So, Normal, I Mean
Lesson #3137 - This Is Just To Say . . . . . The Exams Are As Bad As Those Plums
Lesson #3136 - Baseball As Metaphor . . . . . Life Is A Marathon Ninety Feet At A Time
Lesson #3135 - Baseball As Metaphor . . . . . Hey Baby, Wanna Get To Eighth Base Tonight
Lesson #3134 - Baseball As Metaphor . . . . . Then Some Of Them Try To Steal Backwards
Lesson #3133 - Baseball As Metaphor . . . . . Fifteen Strikes, You're Out
Lesson #3132 - Real April Fools . . . . . C'mon, Laugh, It's Funny, Why Aren't You Laughing
Lesson #3131 - Immunity . . . . . Doctor, Doctor, Don't Read The News

Lesson #3130 - Platypi . . . . . Some People Are More Platypus Than Others
Lesson #3129 - Dogs . . . . . Woof Woof
Lesson #3128 - Questionable Maturity . . . . . Maturity Is Overrated Except When It's Really Really Really Harking Not
Lesson #3127 - Coffee . . . . . I Should Recheck How Well I Graded Those Reports At 4 AM
Lesson #3126 - Swill . . . . . There's A Rung Below Natty Light, If You Didn't Know
Lesson #3125 - Blame . . . . . Winning Streaks Open Wounds Wider, By The Way
Lesson #3124 - Victories . . . . . Do You Measure Victories By Volume, Mass, Or Moles, How Is This Balance Determined
Lesson #3123 - Appearance . . . . . Pay Every Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain
Lesson #3122 - Smoke . . . . . Where There's Smoke, There's The Choir Who Has Been Singing The Song All Along
Lesson #3121 - Intersecting . . . . . Everything Is Friggin' Political These Day

Lesson #3120 - Fact/Fiction (Bracket Week IX) . . . . . Refs Are Blowing The Game
Lesson #3119 - Fact/Fiction (Bracket Week IX) . . . . . This Is Where Conspiracy Theorists Come From
Lesson #3118 - Fact/Fiction (Bracket Week IX) . . . . . Something Precedes Them, I Guess
Lesson #3117 - Science (Bracket Week IX) . . . . . Hurray, Science
Lesson #3116 - Living (Bracket Week IX) . . . . . Who Needs To Be Pinched Anymore To Know They're Awake, The Brain Onslaught Is Doing The Job By Itself
Lesson #3115 - Perspective . . . . . Big Fish, Little Bubble And All That
Lesson #3114 - Put In The Work . . . . . And Then The Republic Ended
Lesson #3113 - Existence . . . . . Note The Colors
Lesson #3112 - Belief vs. Truth . . . . . I Wonder Who Will Accept This One
Lesson #3111 - Empowered . . . . . a-Woooooooooooooo

Lesson #3110 - Carbon Dioxide . . . . . I Am Holding Out My Thumb Permanently Now To Hitchhike To Mars
Lesson #3109 - Women . . . . . My Daughters Would Not Stand Still Long Enough For Them To Be In The Comic, For The Record
Lesson #3108 - Holy Bull . . . . . You Know, Like Holy Cow? But People Don't Mean The Holy In This Case, So Thus, It's Bull? Yes, I Am Known For Being Somewhat Humorous
Lesson #3107 - Lying . . . . . Collapses May Result In Us All Getting Sucked In, So Do Attempt To Escape As Best As Possible
Lesson #3106 - Introverts . . . . . Yes, The Guy In Every Comic Image Is Kind Of Introverted, Funny How That Happens To Be
Lesson #3105 - Books . . . . . I'm Sympathizing With Jack Schitt, That's What This World Has Driven Me To
Lesson #3104 - Incompetence . . . . . Idiots Swimming Upstream In It To Lay Their Eggs
Lesson #3103 - Everything . . . . . Ain't It All So Fun
Lesson #3102 - Fictions . . . . . I Am So Exhausted And We've Got 46.5 More Months Of This Crap
Lesson #3101 - Specificity . . . . . They Believe In Some Souls, But It Depends If They're Living Or Not

Lesson #3100 - Darkening Timelines . . . . . Counterpoint: What In Heck Are The Adjacent Timelines Doing To Us?
Lesson #3099 - Pace Yourself . . . . . Please Take My Baton So I Can Grab Someone Else's
Lesson #3098 - Mental Health . . . . . So Many Monsters, At Least They're All Human
Lesson #3097 - Person . . . . . What Fun Times We Live In
Lesson #3096 - Human(e) . . . . . Where Do You Want Your Data Point To Fall On That Chart
Science Comic: Gene Therapy . . . . . written by Zoe Simonson, drawn by Monica Keszler
Lesson #3095 - Use Of Science . . . . . Just Hold Up A Scatter Plot That Spells Out "We're All Gonna Die"
Lesson #3094 - Calm . . . . . Perhaps I Shouldn't Have Nicknamed My Second Child "Stormy"
Lesson #3093 - Resistors . . . . . When You Meditate On What We Need To Do Next, Just Chant Ohmmmmmm, It's Appropriate
Lesson #3092 - Exercising . . . . . I Shall Defeat The Empire With My Limber Body, I Think That's What I'm Saying
Lesson #3091 - Exercising . . . . . We Also Watched Empire Strikes Back, So Things Aren't Looking Great For The Rebellion In My Mind

Lesson #3090 - Incorrectness . . . . . Malevolence Is Not Always Present But Idiocy Often Is
Lesson #3089 - Hells . . . . . I Did Not Watch That Press Conference But Have A Pretty Good Sense Of It Now
Lesson #3088 - Valentine Poem . . . . . Roses Are Red, Nazis Are White, Punch Every Nazi, It Is All Right
Lesson #3087 - Living . . . . . Not Gonna Make Friends, Not Here To Make Friends
Lesson #3086 - Goods . . . . . No Wonder They're So Wary Of Trades
Lesson #3085 - Lies . . . . . Using The Best Brick, The Very Best
Lesson #3084 - Science The World . . . . . Fighting For Those In My Classroom And For Those In Yours
Lesson #3083 - Projection . . . . . I Don't Know Why The Other Side Hasn't Embraced This Term For Themselves, Certainly Many Of Them Want A Whiteout
Lesson #3082 - Outcomes . . . . . Rise Up, Women, I'll Do What I Can In Here To BRing Down The Patriarchy From The Inside
Lesson #3081 - Education . . . . . Maybe I'll Run For The School Board

Lesson #3080 - Definitions, Part XXXIII . . . . . Don't Let Him Mow Us Down
Lesson #3079 - Silence . . . . . There's So Much Chalk On My Hands Now, I Could Go Rock-Climbing
Lesson #3078 - Time Passes . . . . . I Am Ruggedly Handsome Yet, Please Don't Tell Me, I'll Just Assume The Answer Is A Resounding 'Oh Yes Indeed'
Lesson #3077 - Hypocrisy . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeee Life Is Terrible
Lesson #3076 - Bones . . . . . You Could Beat Someone With Your Femur, But Again, That's Literal, Also It'd Be Hard To Stand
Lesson #3075 - The Race . . . . . This Is Like An 800m Race That's Extended For An Additional Four Years
Lesson #3074 - The Fight . . . . . It Is Actually Really Hard To Draw A Venn Diagram Like This, But Then Again, I Am Bad At Drawing, That's Why I Take Narcissistic Photographs
Lesson #3073 - Protests . . . . . Don't Do It For The Punchcard, Do It For The People
Lesson #3072 - Moral High Ground . . . . . Shame Is Powerful And Not Enough People Are Feeling It
Lesson #3071 - Timelines . . . . . You're Supposed To Remember History, Not Make Friends With It, What The Hell, Present

Lesson #3070 - In Focus . . . . . Who's Next, Who's Next, Let's Spin The Wheel, Don't Land On Bankrupt, But Don't Worry, We're Guaranteed To Hit That In The End
Lesson #3069 - Possible Dystopias, Part I . . . . . This Wouldn't Necessarily Be A Bad Thing! Just Don't Get Behind On Your Payments. Do You Think You Could Lease?
Lesson #3068 - Truth . . . . . What A Very Strange Turn STW Has Taken, But It Makes Sense In The Age Of A Literal President
Lesson #3067 - Options . . . . . My Sincere Appreciation To The Martial Artist Who Sent Me An Explanation Of The Best Ways To Punch
Lesson #3066 - Snowflakes . . . . . Man, I Wish I Had A Pussy Hat To Wear In The Comic For The Next Month Or Two Or Three
Lesson #3065 - Speak Up . . . . . I Hereby Propose Renaming The Cabinet Positions "Vassals" Instead Of "Secretaries"
Lesson #3064 - Speak Up . . . . . Apathy Is The First Step In Not Existing
Lesson #3063 - Speak Up . . . . . It's Good To Have A Solid Slogan
Lesson #3062 - Ideas . . . . . Food Stuck In Your Teeth Would Be Tasteworms? Maybe I Should Stop
Lesson #3061 - Stability . . . . . Apparently What We Thought Was Brick Was Straw All Along

Lesson #3060 - Rights . . . . . Hi There, If You're Reading This Page! You Win A Special Prize, Which Is Inside Of You All Along, So I Guess It's Love? Man, What A Crappy Prize
Lesson #3059 - Truths? . . . . . Imagine An Alternate Universe Where STW Was Still Boisterous And Fun
Lesson #3058 - The Spiral . . . . . These Next Few Years Are Going To Be So Much Fun
Lesson #3057 - Action Desired . . . . . Small-Government Conservatives Prefer To Only Leave The "!0 Items Or Fewer" Line Open And Just Leave The Line Super Super Backed Up
Lesson #3056 - Salmonella . . . . . Salmonella Is A Good Egg, Apparently, Who Would Have Guessed
Lesson #3055 - Arcs . . . . . Don't Even Get Me Started On The Orcs Of The Moral Universe
Lesson #3054 - Manufacturing Ethics . . . . . Oh The Morality!
Lesson #3053 - Mantra . . . . . And It's Universal!
Lesson #3052 - Seasonally Affected . . . . . This Is Pretty Accurate Assessment Of My Feelings Right Now, Anyway
Lesson #3051 - Sleds . . . . . And Then Things Collect In Your Attic/Basement

Lesson #3050 - Activism . . . . . It's Kind Of A Cycle? I Dunno, I'm Not A Social Scientist
Lesson #3049 - Governing . . . . . This Gun? I Call This My "Empathizer"
Lesson #3048 - Pens . . . . . Printing To The Choir?
Lesson #3047 - Suggested Names: Police Procedurals . . . . . "It's About Crime" Is A Little Too On The Nose
Lesson #3046 - Time . . . . . Hope Is Acidic, I Guess? Mainly Because Despair Is So Basic
Lesson #3045 - 2017 . . . . . Let's Give This Year A Chance But With Pitchforks At The Ready
Lesson #3044 - 2016 . . . . . It Was A Tough Year, Like A Well-Aged Steak. We Should Have Tried Eating It
Lesson #3043 - End Of The Year . . . . . I HAVE Tried To Tell My Daughters I Smell With My Tongue
Lesson #3042 - Dishes . . . . . Revenge Is Like Gazpacho, I think Is The Point. I Didn't Spell That Right, Did I? Oh Well, No One Ever Reads This Page Anyway
Lesson #3041 - Libraries . . . . . Children's Libraries Are Petting Zoos Somewhat Actually If You Consider The Children Themselves Are Essentially Animals You'd Rather Watch Than Own Or Rent, And Once Again This Analogy Went Off The Rails

Lesson #3040 - A Takeaway . . . . . Rest In Peace, Be Celebrated In Joy
Lesson #3039 - Boxing Day . . . . . Fellow Christians Laughing The Most At This Are The Ones Who Are The Worst
Lesson #3038 - Peace And Joy, Maybe . . . . . You Love And I'll Labor, You Sit And I'll Stand
Lesson #3037 - Holiday Spirit . . . . . Whatever It Takes, Within Reason
Lesson #3036 - Family Holiday Gatherings . . . . . This Makes The Delineation Of Hatfields And McCoys A Lot More Complicated, Oh Now I Get Where Gangs Come From, Aha
Lesson #3035 - Holiday Cheer . . . . . Wait, This Egg Nog Is Normal, What's Going On OH NO I SPIKED THE MILK NOT THE EGG NOG GET THAT SIPPIE CUP AWAY FROM THE BABY
Lesson #3034 - Carol(s) . . . . . Ghost Prevention Is Soundproofing Your Perception
Lesson #3033 - Carol(s) . . . . . Ghosts Of The Future Become More And More Opaque As They Get Closer
Lesson #3032 - Carol(s) . . . . . Ghosts Of The Present Probably Live In The House Down The Street From You
Lesson #3031 - Carol(s) . . . . . Ghosts Of The Past Are Rarely Beholden, That's What Statues Are For
Lesson #3030 - Carol(s) . . . . . What Have You Done, Charles Dickens
Lesson #3029 - Deck The Brawls . . . . . Wreck The Halls? Eh, They Were Already Wrecked
Lesson #3028 - Slogans . . . . . United Snakes Of America
Lesson #3027 - Who Believes In Passing . . . . . Christmas Isn't Coming For Everyone
Lesson #3026 - Definitions, Part XXXII . . . . . Ugh
Lesson #3025 - Dickensian Pie Charts . . . . . I Am Underappreciated In My Time And Will Be Same Appreciated Later On
Lesson #3024 - Normally . . . . . I'm Also Okay With Abbynormalization
Lesson #3023 - Happy Holidays . . . . . Ok, I See A Lot Wrong With This, But You Know, Tis The Seasons
Lesson #3022 - Bright Side . . . . . Man, What A Great Time To Be Raising Kids, They'll Be Living In True History
Lesson #3021 - Bad/Good . . . . . Moments To Manifest Future Moments

Lesson #3020 - Santa's Eyes . . . . . Santa Is The Secret Queen!
Lesson #3019 - Hair . . . . . We Could All Use A Good Cryjob, To Be Honest
Lesson #3018 - Escape . . . . . I Think The Key Is Hidden In The Cat
Lesson #3017 - Holiday Tradition(s) . . . . . Merry Christmas To All, After All
Lesson #3016 - Holiday Cocktails . . . . . I Am Very Proud Of This Very Very Stupid Joke
Lesson #3015 - Parenting . . . . . Hurray, Children
Lesson #3014 - The Cycle . . . . . Glug Glug Chug
Lesson #3013 - Surprising Terror . . . . . I Don't Make This Stuff Up, It's Just Nature
Lesson #3012 - Other-ing . . . . . Imagine Dividing Even Further Than We Have Now! Well, Don't Dream, Just Wait
Lesson #3011 - Lovers . . . . . Junior High Dearlungs

Lesson #3010 - Matter . . . . . So Now You Know What We're All Fighting For
Lesson #3009 - Encounters . . . . . If Gremlins Was Listed, Then You'd Have A Very Different Result, If I Remember My Movie Sequels Right
Guest Lecture #43 - Granddad . . . . .
Lesson #3008 - Thanksgiving Carol . . . . . One More Time! (AKA Leftovers!)
Lesson #3007 - Gobble . . . . . I Also Had A Line "Gobble Gobble Snood Snood Turkeys Surfing On The Hood" But The Rhyme Isn't Great And No One Would Know What A Snood On A Turkey Is And Just Think Of That Stupid Game Instead
Lesson #3006 - Pardon My Hope . . . . . "More Like 'Pardon My Nope'" You Say, And I Can't Really Argue
Lesson #3005 - The Choice . . . . . This One Is Titled Like An Animorphs Novel
Lesson #3004 - Scientific Farts . . . . . You Should Be Glad I Didn't Choose A Different Pose
Lesson #3003 - Beauty . . . . . We're Saying That Some Farmers Are REALLY Into Vegetables
Lesson #3002 - Games . . . . . Don't Bring Chess To A Bat Fight
Lesson #3001 - History . . . . . We're Just Out Here On The Trashheaps, Somehow More Trash Is Falling Down On Us, Who Could Have Seen That Happening

Lesson #3000 - When Lost . . . . . "Create" Is A Solid Answer. Maybe You'll Build A Stairwell To Get Out. But Never Forget You Have Others.
Lesson #2999 - Knowledge . . . . . Stabbity Stab
Lesson #2998 - Hugs . . . . . Gonna Squish Them Until They Pop Like Overcooked Hot Dogs
Guest Lecture #42 - Shazzbaa . . . . .
Guest Lecture #41 - Chris Cogswell . . . . .
Lesson #2997 - Alone In A Hotel . . . . . "Do I Even Want To Know What That Weird Smell Is?"
Lesson #2996 - Sky High . . . . . Okay, Okay, There Is A Major Ogre Problem Up Here
Lesson #2995 - Open Hand, Closed Fist . . . . . Okay, I Read The Comparison In An X-Force Comic, The Truth Is Out, Are You Happy
Lesson #2994 - All Else . . . . . I Love You Kids, For What That's Worth
Lesson #2993 - Election Day 2016 . . . . . My Daughter Checked The Box For Me This Morning, Felt Appropriate
Lesson #2992 - Voting Cycle . . . . . Boomers Are Already Killing Us, Let's Not Kill Ourselves, Too
Lesson #2991 - Brainwash . . . . . Drained?

Lesson #2990 - Harry Potter . . . . . I Think Harry Should Have Ended Up With Luna
Lesson #2989 - VOTE . . . . . Did I Stress This Enough? For Fork's Sake
Lesson #2988 - End of the World . . . . . And Now The Locusts Come
Lesson #2987 - RomCom . . . . . Rated Ugh
Lesson #2986 - October to November . . . . . I'll Even Take October 3
Lesson #2985 - Boo . . . . . If Only You Could Tip Them Over, BUT THEY'RE INTANGIBLE
Lesson #2984 - Shade . . . . . Ghostball Special
Lesson #2983 - Horror Movie . . . . . Rated O Positive
Lesson #2982 - Monsters . . . . . Chainpliers? No, Now I'm Trying To Hard
Lesson #2981 - Zombies . . . . . Dead And Alive Overlap Could Also Be "Sleeping", Because I Usually Have A Hunger For Brains While I'm Sleeping

Lesson #2980 - Ghosts . . . . . Beware The Bourbanshee
Lesson #2979 - Bloody Mary . . . . . Bloody Mark Is Actually A Pretty Nice Guy
Lesson #2978 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part VIII . . . . . I Really, Really, REALLY Want To See Someone Attempt 'Heteronormativity'
Lesson #2977 - Adult Sports For Kids . . . . . Just DON'T KEEP SCORE, PLEASE
Lesson #2976 - When Times Are Tough . . . . . All The More Reason To Save The Economy, In My Opinion, I Need Justification To Rename My Daughters "Bumblerumpus" and "Flootersnoot"
Lesson #2975 - Friends . . . . . Who Is Even Interested In Paying That To You In The First Place
Lesson #2974 - Campaigns . . . . . Clerics On Hand At All Times In The Adventure/Spin Zone
Lesson #2973 - CO2 Capture . . . . . Capture Me Some Stout, Oh Scientists
Lesson #2972 - Rock . . . . . Don't Be Timid About This, You Need To Be Boulder
Lesson #2971 - Day In The Life . . . . . I Am Quite The Poet, Nobel Me Now, Please

Lesson #2970 - Baptism . . . . . In The Flash Universe, There Are Groddparents
Lesson #2969 - Age . . . . . Oh So Wise, Oh So Many Grandma Cookies
Lesson #2968 - Projection . . . . . Projection Vomitting
Lesson #2967 - Self-Maintenance . . . . . I Really Like "Brainwreck", I'm Biased Though, I Like Basic Phrases Or Idioms With A Rhyming Word Substituted In
Lesson #2966 - Jealousy . . . . . By The Way, Jessica Hagy Is So Damn Good, You Guys
Lesson #2965 - Definitions, Part XXXI . . . . . Echo . . . Echo . . . Echo
Lesson #2964 - Competitive Language . . . . . I'm Beginning To See Why No One Wants To Give Me A Book Deal
Lesson #2963 - Grisly Natural Development . . . . . The Reverse Stabbing Is So Spread Out, It's Like A Reverse Serial Killer, Although The True Definition Of That Would Be A Person Killing Themselves Once, Wouldn't It? Anyway
Lesson #2962 - Why Now . . . . . Profiles In Scourge
Lesson #2961 - Thickness . . . . . Loyalty Is Entirely Dependent on Viscosity, Apparently

Lesson #2960 - Exam Creation . . . . . And He Said, Let There Be A Test, And There Was, And It Was Good
Lesson #2959 - Cheaters . . . . . Oh, That File Under? That's Entirely Incidental, I was Just Sharing
Lesson #2958 - Party Games, Part II . . . . . Can I Beat This Dead Horse Beyond The Top Layer Of The Earth's Crust
Lesson #2957 - Party Games . . . . . What About "Evan Minutes In Heaven"? Not Very Fun At All, Actually
Lesson #2956 - As A Whole . . . . . You Could Totally Think This Comic Was Partly In Reference To Donald Trump, And You Wouldn't Entirely Be Wrong
Lesson #2955 - Lovefish . . . . . Baby, You Won't Believe How Many Significant Others I Had To Chop Into Tiny Bits Just To Get To You
Lesson #2954 - Centaurs . . . . . They Think They're So Special, But If Their Halves Were Flipped, See What They Would Be Saying Then
Lesson #2953 - Faraday . . . . . There Aren't Enough Ferrets In Electrical Engineering, Let's Be Honest
Lesson #2952 - Donkeys . . . . . Yes, Yes, This Joke Makes Me Quite The Ass
Lesson #2951 - Time Commitments . . . . . Sleep Is A Luxury That Sanity Cannot Afford

Lesson #2950 - Self-Expectations . . . . . "I Will Tunnel Under This Bar And Come Out The Other Side, Using Nothing But My Huge Temperment"
Lesson #2949 - Power . . . . . Only One Group Gets The Blame When It Gets Screwed Up, Too
Lesson #2948 - Grudges . . . . . He'll Never Remember Saying That, And That's The Way Most Grudges Work Anyway
Science Comic: Elements . . . . . drawn by Beth Sparks
Lesson #2947 - Genetics . . . . . I Mean, I Think I Only Want 10% Snips At Most, And I'm Not Really Sure How Many Snails I'm Interested In Being
Science Comic: Refrigeration Cycles . . . . . drawn by Monica Keszler
Lesson #2946 - Heat Transfer . . . . . I Regret Nothing
Science Comic: Assumptions . . . . . co-written by Chris Cogswell, drawn by Carey Pietsch
Lesson #2945 - Awards Ceremonies . . . . . Ideas Like This Are Preventive Actions Keeping Me From Being Nominated Even Before I've Written A Book
Lesson #2944 - Wedding Attendees . . . . . I Would Totally Have Crushed Nauchelle's Wedding If Only It Wasn't 3000 Miles Away
Lesson #2943 - Creative Solutions . . . . . God Needed An Editor
Lesson #2942 - Whales . . . . . Snail-eontologists Are Also In Regret
Lesson #2941 - How To Parent . . . . . I Am An Excellent Father But A Terrible Role-Model

Lesson #2940 - Ostriches . . . . . This Home Guarded By Attack Ostriches
Lesson #2939 - Many Cats . . . . . Look, I'm Not A Chef, Don't Blame Me
Lesson #2938 - Apples . . . . . There's A Bad Shirt Design Idea In Doctor Who Running Away From Daleks Chasing Him With Apples
Lesson #2937 - Poetry Extended . . . . . Ten If By Shadows, Eleven If By Bees, Twelve If By Turtles, Thirteen If By Skis, Fourteen If By Ghosts, Fifteen If By Wire, Sixteen And You'll Have Set The Whole Church On Fire
Lesson #2936 - Input . . . . . My Guts Are Swimming In The Swill
Lesson #2935 - Teaching . . . . . Don't Try This At Home Or In Class, Or Anywhere, Really
Lesson #2934 - Professionals . . . . . And Somehow I Am A Professor
Lesson #2933 - Generational Technology . . . . . Anyway, Life Will Be Fun After The Fall And During The Rise
Lesson #2932 - Clams . . . . . Don't Even Get Started On The Idioms About Lobsters
Lesson #2931 - Problem-Solving . . . . . How Are There So Many Leaves In This Damn Forest

Lesson #2930 - Temporary Calm . . . . . It's Always Something Before The Dusk
Lesson #2929 - Shades . . . . . Not That We're Required To Use The Same Colors, Either, Although Maybe We Should Occasionally Be Restricted Within A Few Shades Of Each Other
Lesson #2928 - Terrifying Creativity . . . . . If Human Body Heat Was Necessary Instead, I'm Sure They Would Have Found Some 'Volunteers'
Lesson #2927 - UV . . . . . Mankind Is So Focused On Keeping Penguins Down, We're Willing To Destroy The Planet To Keep Them Suppressed
Lesson #2926 - Discrimination . . . . . "Right To The Death" Is Really Depressing, Actually
Lesson #2925 - Biting . . . . . I Can Make Anything Some Form Of Kissing If I Try Hard Enough
Lesson #2924 - Agreement . . . . . You Are Crazy If You Don't Think I'll Be Using This Line With My Students This Semester
Lesson #2923 - Signs of Intelligence . . . . . I Am Really Hitting Current Hot Topics With This One, That's Me, Always On Top Of Current Issues
Lesson #2922 - By Other Names . . . . . They Ruined Everything, In The Nicest Way
Lesson #2921 - New Teachers . . . . . "Professor, This Is Entirely Black!" "Yes, Just Like Your Soul. By The Way, You Flunked"

Lesson #2920 - Comedy . . . . . Above Highbrow Is Rarefied Air, Because It's Above One's Head, Get It? It Goes Over Your Head? Get It? Hello? Is This Thing On
Lesson #2919 - Deck . . . . . I Only Know A Few Words In Pirate But Poopdeck Is Certainly One Of Them
Lesson #2918 - Surgery . . . . . Look What I Can Ewe!
Lesson #2917 - Kids . . . . . I Really Hope Neither Of Them Become Biologists
Lesson #2916 - Wordplay Attempt . . . . . Did Pirate Ships Actually HAVE Monkey Wenches? History Wants To Know
Lesson #2915 - Glamorous . . . . . Nothing Like Gloutdoor Activities (Gloutdoor Glactivities?)
Lesson #2914 - Vicarious . . . . . And If You're Learning Vicariously, You Might Be Actually Learning, Too
Lesson #2913 - Suggested Names: Fight Clubs . . . . . On The Fight Track? God-Given Fight, Dead To Fights, Fight In The Head . . . Are These Too Many? Damn Fight
Lesson #2912 - Children . . . . . I Have Very Timely Musical References
Lesson #2911 - Jerks . . . . . Never Be Entirely Jerk-Free, Just Know The Proper Concentration

Lesson #2910 - Despisement . . . . . Can't Wait For The Commercialization Of This One
Lesson #2909 - In Common . . . . . Who Wants A Sandwich
Lesson #2908 - Problem-Solving . . . . . (non-sensical foot-shaking)
Lesson #2907 - Real Superpowers . . . . . Just Give Me A Cape To Walk Around The Neighborhood
Lesson #2906 - Magic . . . . . (very fast clapping at something very simple)
Lesson #2905 - Idiots . . . . . A Log-Log Scale Is Also Known As An Idiot-Idiot Scale
Lesson #2904 - Suggested Names: Coffee Shops . . . . . Brew-Eyed Girl (Or Boy)
Lesson #2903 - Olympic History, Part VI . . . . . 2 AM! With Cars! What Fun!
Lesson #2902 - Olympic History, Part V . . . . . Feel A Little Bad For The Women Weren't Wearing Hats Like All The Men
Lesson #2901 - Civil . . . . . The Internet Is Just One Big Guerilla War, 140 Characters At A Time

Lesson #2900 - Creeping People Out, Part XXVI . . . . . "You See, Your Honor, I Wasn't Really Arrested For Trespassing, I Was Arrested For Having A Heart, Unlike Those Heartless Horse-Murdering Bastards!"
Lesson #2899 - Amusement Park . . . . . WHY ARE YOU NOT HAVING FUN, HOW DARE YOU NOT HAVE FUN
Lesson #2898 - Reprehensible . . . . . How To Make A Comic About Trump That Doesn't Seem Like A Comic About Trump
Lesson #2897 - Hic . . . . . There's A Similar Haiku About Drinking, But It's Just The Word "Chug" 17 Times
Lesson #2896 - Fighting . . . . . Not A Recommended Pick-Up Approach, Please Consider A Cheesy Line Instead
Lesson #2895 - Slugs . . . . . A Summer Blockbuster Movie, Coming Soon
Lesson #2894 - Job Openings . . . . . She Also Essentially Proposed Outlawing Jurassic Park, Because Dinosaurs Are Too Big, So Her Anti-Science Views Have A Ways To Go If She Wants To Secure My Vote
Lesson #2893 - Hope . . . . . Thanks, Obama
Lesson #2892 - Risk . . . . . All-In With Someone Else's Chips
Lesson #2891 - Voting . . . . . Your Stomach Will Tell You "Vote For The Candidate With The Most Meat On The Bones, In Case We Ever Launch A Cannibalistic Coup"
Lesson #2890 - Sexiness . . . . . If You Add This One To Your Pin-Up Collection On Your Bedroom Wall, Please Do Not Let Me Know
Lesson #2889 - Hooch . . . . . Ah, Chemistry
Lesson #2888 - Cute . . . . . I Make All The Ladies And Gentlemen Swoon, Despite Appearances
Lesson #2887 - Mongers . . . . . Daredevil Is Better Than Feardevil, But Reasonabledevil Is Even Better
Lesson #2886 - Volume . . . . . How Many Kegs To A Manatee
Lesson #2885 - Definitions, Part XXX . . . . . This Is The Porn Definition
Lesson #2884 - Love . . . . . The Better To Hold You Close With, My Dear
Lesson #2883 - Acceptance . . . . . Imagine How Many Fifths Of A Person Every Non-White Cis-Person Is
Lesson #2882 - Friends . . . . . Please, Someone Else Do The Talking, I'll Just Sit Here Quietly And Hope My Presence Doesn't Wreck The Chi
Lesson #2881 - Traffic . . . . . "Hey, Just Calling To See Where You're At" "Slap Us On Some Bread, We're Stuck"

Lesson #2880 - Wonder . . . . . I'm Much Futher To The Upper Extreme Than I Should Be, To Be Honest
Lesson #2879 - Sleep . . . . . 5 AM Should Not Exist As A Time
Lesson #2878 - Dinosaurs Sounds . . . . . Bird-Watchers Are Fluent In Dinosaur, Obviously
Lesson #2877 - Satan . . . . . God Is Really Just A Track Coach In Disguise
Lesson #2876 - Cameras Ready . . . . . And, Hey, If The Idea Is True, Look, Free Souls
Lesson #2875 - Cereal . . . . . Me? Why, No, I Never Had Reese's Puffs, What Are Those
Lesson #2874 - Moats . . . . . There Was Likely Poop In The Dry Moats Too, Let's Be Honest
Lesson #2873 - Yet Again . . . . . We'd Probably Actually Get Gun Control If We Could Weaponize Empathy, To Be Honest
Lesson #2872 - Humor . . . . . A Glorified Exalted Status That No One Recommends You Achieve
Lesson #2871 - Godzilla . . . . . This Is Like Some Bad Kind Of Animorph Thing, Isn't It

Lesson #2870 - Health . . . . . I, A Male, Am Of Course A True Expert On This Topic
Lesson #2869 - Fireworks, Part IV . . . . . May You Maintain A Grasp On All Your Fingers Today
Lesson #2868 - Explosive Rats . . . . . Please Do Not Try This At Home Or Anywhere Else For That Matter
Lesson #2867 - Mushrooms . . . . . "Spore And Peace" Is Also The Fungus Life Cycle
Lesson #2866 - Kids . . . . . It's Basically Breaking Escape Velocity
Lesson #2865 - Cheating . . . . . Correlation And Causation Are The Same Word
Lesson #2864 - Teaching . . . . . I'm Not Sure The Losing Brain Cells Aspect Is A Metaphor
Lesson #2863 - Coincidentally . . . . . I Probably Have Done This Comic Before, That In Itself Is A Sign
Lesson #2862 - Geese . . . . . I Need An Attack Goose
Lesson #2861 - Diversity . . . . . Where Does This Fall With Respect To The Argument On Evolution, Which Side Wants To Make The Case

Lesson #2860 - News . . . . . I Wonder If Anyone Has Ever Died From A Pun Before
Lesson #2859 - Spontaneous Combustion . . . . . 'Thermal Runaway' Would Be A Good Band Name
Lesson #2858 - Action . . . . . Politics Are Going To Kill Me, One Way Or Another
Lesson #2857 - Political Correctness . . . . . Assholes, Assholes Everywhere
Science Comic: Recycle and Purge Streams . . . . . drawn by Matt Lubchansky
Lesson #2856 - Hobbies . . . . . Now, To Teach The Offspring How To Join Me In This Hobby
Lesson #2855 - Lesser Known Quotes . . . . . What Do You Think Jesus Buys For Himself? A Sandwich So Big That Even He Couldn't Finish But Then He Finishes It Anyway?
Lesson #2854 - Sugar . . . . . ATSBs, They're Like Bear Baiting But For Mosquitoes
Lesson #2853 - Failure . . . . . Oh Well! (This Was Going To Be A Comic About Pre-Mortems And Post-Mortems, But This Week Made That Feel Awfully Inappropriate)
Lesson #2852 - Names . . . . . I Would Be Really Excited To Be In This Band, Is What I Think I'm Saying, I Can Play The Piano, Who Needs A Pianist
Lesson #2851 - Dentist . . . . . You Know They're In League With The Tooth Fairy, They're Definitely Getting Paid Through Some Racket

Lesson #2850 - Psych . . . . . Technically, No One Should Have A Problem With Me Carrying A Bat Around At This Point, Right?
Lesson #2849 - Complicity . . . . . More Than One Person Is Responsible At This Point, And That Responsibility Is Spreading Every Day
Lesson #2848 - Senselessness . . . . . Thoughts And Prayers And Some Goddamn Action
Lesson #2847 - Rain . . . . . MY CAR IS MADE OF SUGAR, WHICH NOW IN RETROSPECT, WAS A POOR BUSINESS DECISION
Lesson #2846 - Grad Students . . . . . At Least No Diapers, Usually
Lesson #2845 - M(ath)TV . . . . . "Proof" And "Theory" Also Make For Excellent Titles
Lesson #2844 - Friend Zone . . . . . "I Was Friend Zoned And Had A Totally Great Time! It Would Have Been Nicer If I Had Any Friends Who Went With Me"
Lesson #2843 - Sunglasses . . . . . Well, Time To Enter The Matrix
Lesson #2842 - "Truth" . . . . . This Horse Issue Threatens To Split The Party Apart
Lesson #2841 - Friendship . . . . . 'Hepatitis Brothers' Has A Certain Ring To It

Lesson #2840 - People . . . . . 'Fascinating' Is A Very Subjective Term But We're A Very Subjective Species
Lesson #2839 - Self-Reward . . . . . And Comic Books, At Least For Me
Lesson #2838 - Science Ruins Disney, Part II . . . . . If I Ever Play Dungeons And Dragons, I Think I'll Play As A Scientist Who Can't Figure Out How Magic Can Happen And It Keeps Blowing His/Her Mind
Lesson #2837 - Science Ruins Disney, Part I . . . . . These Will Actually Be Fun If I Allow For Magic To Exist But The Repercussions Occur Naturally
Lesson #2836 - Anniversary, Part VIII . . . . . Let's Stick With The Bronze After All, Someone Give Me A Medal
Lesson #2835 - Jobs . . . . . Occasionally People Are Jumping Your Line In Turn At The Dartboard, Too, So It's Not Particularly Easy
Lesson #2834 - Dating . . . . . Our Love Would Be Outside The Range Of Error! We Would Be Statistically Significant!
Lesson #2833 - Life . . . . . Eat, Sleep, And Be Happy, That's The Torpedo Way. And Maybe Take Out A Submarine Or Two As Well
Lesson #2832 - Pitchers . . . . . No One Would Ever Say Baseball Was Slow If This Is The Way It Was Played
Lesson #2831 - "Lovers" . . . . . It's All About The Comics That Make My Family And Co-Workers Uncomfortable

Lesson #2830 - Context Matters . . . . . "Why Did You Only Bring One Fishing Pole? Oh, So We Can Share? What Good Friends We Are!"
Lesson #2829 - Misreading . . . . . You Can Play A Similar Game If You Think Someone Is Just Saying Hello To Household Items They See, Like A Mop And A Pen. "Ho, Mop! Ho, Bic!"
Lesson #2828 - Reboots . . . . . But Maybe I'm Just Naive, I Mean, Ghostbusters Wasn't A Big Part Of My Childhood
Lesson #2827 - Evolution . . . . . We're All Just Waiting For The Reboot
Lesson #2826 - Parents . . . . . Train Parents: Parents Who Have A One-Track Mind, Reliable But Are Never There Exactly When You Need Them
Lesson #2825 - Party Games . . . . . "Shin The Bottle" Can Also Be Fun, But A Bit Violent
Lesson #2824 - Creeping People Out, Part XXV . . . . . Look Out Below
Lesson #2823 - Professionalism . . . . . Tobias Is The Best, By The Way, Hands Down
Lesson #2822 - Touched By God . . . . . Could Be Worse, Imagine When Jesus Makes You A Sandwich And Then Touches The Bread To Hand It To You
Lesson #2821 - Class . . . . . (Bell Rings, War Ends)

Lesson #2820 - Smiling . . . . . I'd Make Such A Good Model
Lesson #2819 - Zombies . . . . . Zombies Themselves Are Passed As A Concept, Except For That Show On AMC And Its Insane Ratings, I Guess
Lesson #2818 - Space Diplomacy . . . . . Please Make Sure To Tear Up Your Earthright Citizenship Certificate On Your Way Out(er Space)
Lesson #2817 - Genius . . . . . (Chugs A Few Bottles, Feels Dumber For Some Reason)
Lesson #2816 - Loyalty . . . . . Blood Is Thicker Than Water, But Water Finds A Way . . . I Just Want To Be On The Winning Side, Is What I'm Saying
Lesson #2815 - Walking The Dog . . . . . There's No Way The Dog Doesn't Know What He's Doing
Lesson #2814 - Humor . . . . . Dad Jokes Exist On An Entirely Separate (Ethereal) Plane
Lesson #2813 - Dragons . . . . . A Banana Lizard With Wings And Claws? There's Some Appeal To The Idea
Lesson #2812 - Holiday . . . . . File Under Jokes Appreciated By Not Too Many And Enjoyed By Even Fewer
Lesson #2811 - Pliny The Elder . . . . . Pliny Hiny Hidey Ho

Lesson #2810 - Graduation . . . . . theSwede Actually Owns A Pair Of Onion Goggles, So Who Is The Real Nerd Around Here
Lesson #2809 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . ChemE Is A Group Degree, Really
Lesson #2808 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . At Least I Didn't Fall Asleep During The Presentation, Which Is More Than I Can Say For Other Professors
Lesson #2807 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . Although, To Keep Them Humble, I Should Say That Tom Drank Polluted River Water With A Siphon And Brian Almost Electrified A River Trying To Use Electrophoresis To Treat The Chemicals
Lesson #2806 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . I Still Can't Believe Some Of This Happened
Lesson #2805 - Grading . . . . . Wanted To Do This One With A Report Actually On Fire But Then I Remembered I Don't Want My House To Burn Down
Lesson #2804 - The Rest Of The Story . . . . . The Hare Refuses To Take Interviews About The Race, Nonetheless
Lesson #2803 - Fear . . . . . How A-feared Are You? So A-feared
Lesson #2802 - Downpour . . . . . Cruella de Vil's Dream Scenario
Lesson #2801 - Acting . . . . . Look, It's Basically An Unwritten Rule

Lesson #2800 - Problem-Solving . . . . . Imagine If Our Politicians Even Tried To Take This Approach
Lesson #2799 - Posture . . . . . The Pajama Pants Really Drive This One Home
Lesson #2798 - Exam Problems . . . . . Students REALLY Didn't Like This One
Lesson #2797 - Exam Problems . . . . . In Part Based On A True Story For Some Of My Students
Lesson #2796 - All Of Us Were Ordinary . . . . . Good God, But He Owned Everyone He Played With, Though
Lesson #2795 - Education . . . . . If You Ever Do Stop, You'll Probably Be So Friggin' Bored
Lesson #2794 - Ability Level . . . . . Not Enough People Familiar With The Lower End, To Be Honest, Way Too Many Of Us Holding Ourselves Back By Some Variation Of Fear Of Failure After We've Already Passed
Lesson #2793 - A Child's Birthday . . . . . I've Done A Good Job! Let's Have Another Beer And Celebrate
Lesson #2792 - Pacing . . . . . 'Lady And The Tramp' Is Also Incredibly Difficult To Watch

Lesson #2791 - Crawling/Walking . . . . . 'Infancy' Also Translates To 'Destroyer Of Previous Normalcy'
Lesson #2790 - Crawling/Walking . . . . . 'Parent' Also Translates To 'Eh, I'll Sleep Later'
Lesson #2789 - Crawling/Walking . . . . . 'Baby' Also Translates To 'Torn Asunder'
Lesson #2788 - Feline Research . . . . . Why Is Your Cat Named 'Rotary'
Lesson #2787 - Dieting By Math . . . . . I'll Need To Keep Calling Up My Daughters Even After They've Moved Out, This Will Be Awkward When I'm In My Nineties And Still Trying To Make This Calorie Math Work
Lesson #2786 - Store . . . . . No One Is Going To Get The Reference From The First Two Words
Lesson #2785 - Pie IV (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . This Is Going To Be A Rout, Isn't It
Lesson #2784 - States, Part VIII . . . . . I Should Really Do Massachusetts At Some Point
Lesson #2783 - Professional . . . . . I Am Extremely Fortunate To Have A Wife Who Will Make My Costume For Me
Lesson #2782 - Olives . . . . . I DO NOT WANT PEACE, I WANT SUPER PEACE, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS BRINY OLIVE BRANCH
Lesson #2781 - Better Halves . . . . . If You Have Multiple Personalities, Then You By Yourself May Add Up To Way More Than One

Lesson #2780 - Freeing . . . . . Thou Shalt Not Kill, But Let's Make Sure This Is Defined As An Emergency First
Lesson #2779 - Hustle Economy . . . . . I Am Available For All And Any Media Appearances
Lesson #2778 - Delay . . . . . I Would Hold My Hand Out To Catch Rain In That Pose In The Comic, But It'd Be Worrisome Why I'm Checking For Rain In My Basement
Lesson #2777 - Hope Springs . . . . . GPA Falls
Lesson #2776 - Pie III (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . The Remaining Underdog Feels Like A Fix
Lesson #2775 - Generation Next . . . . . I Vote We Call The Next Generation The 'Onesies', Since They Were Born In The Onesies
Lesson #2774 - Life . . . . . What Bolt Could Life Possibly Be Trying To Turn
Lesson #2773 - Splish Splash . . . . . Embrace Your Role As "Dad", My Friends
Lesson #2772 - Predator/Prey . . . . . Predator Seeking Prey, Must Have First And Last Month Rent Upfront
Lesson #2771 - Life Experiences . . . . . Good To Know We're Sexually Compatible, I Guess

Lesson #2770 - As They Say . . . . . I'm Sure I'll Find A Use For This Stick, Or Something
Lesson #2769 - Easter Tradition . . . . . That's One Muscular Bunny, I Have To Say
Lesson #2768 - Dad Science, Part VII . . . . . And Then We Remove Your Wisdom Teeth To Allow For Even More Wisdom Although, You Know, Let's Not Talk About How Much That Will Hurt For A While, Okay
Lesson #2767 - Pie II (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . Please Don't Vote Chalk, Let's Make This Interesting
Lesson #2766 - Reverse-Engineering . . . . . It's Not Reverse-Engineering If You're Not Destroying Something
Lesson #2765 - Human and/or Humanity . . . . . "No Homo" Sapien, If You Will
Lesson #2764 - Sleep Deprivation . . . . . I Check Myself Out In The Mirror Every Night, And I Have To Say, These Work Goggles Make Me Look Awfully Attractive
Lesson #2763 - Responding . . . . . There's Getting To Be Way Too Many STW Comics With This Theme
Lesson #2762 - Valuable Supply . . . . . I Don't Think There's A Twelve Step Program Or If I Should Even Consider Such An Avenue If I Value Staying Awake
Lesson #2761 - Scientist . . . . . Hurray, Science

Lesson #2760 - Childhood . . . . . "How Could Belle Have Married Sharptooth?", You Ask, "Clearly They Were Not Of Comparable Or Compatible Size!" The Hand Puppets Beg To Differ, Apparently
Lesson #2759 - Pie (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . One Student Suggested I Should Have Thrown A Pizza Pie In As An Option
Lesson #2758 - Problems (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . "Every Problem Looks Like A Burned Bridge When All You've Got Is A Flaming Hammer" Would Really Make Me Wonder About The Origins Of That Saying
Lesson #2757 - Dietary Choices (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . That's Where The Idea For Olives On Pizza Came From, Almost Certainly
Lesson #2756 - Candidates (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . The Thesaurus's Offerings For A Lot Of These Terms Are Pretty Revealing About How Partisanship Develops, To Be Honest
Lesson #2755 - Bravery? (Bracket Week VIII) . . . . . "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HOLD MY ARMS, GUYS, I DON'T WANT TO ACTUALLY HAVE TO FIGHT"
Lesson #2754 - Jesus The Baker . . . . . "Nothing Ever Comes Out Stale, They Always Just Come Out Tasting Like Skin, Yum Yum"
Lesson #2753 - Reaction . . . . . Inspired By That Picture Of The Woman At The Trump Rally From The Town That Is 97% White, Giving The Nazi Salute
Lesson #2752 - Big Question #28 . . . . . Ignore That Hand Coming From Off-Screen
Lesson #2751 - Monsters . . . . . The Secondary Comparison Between Trump And A Child Is Just As Apt, I Think

Lesson #2750 - Reply All . . . . . Please Please Please, Be At Least A Smidgen Better Than The Worst
Lesson #2749 - Rounding the Bases . . . . . File This One Under Comics Definitely Written To Make My Daughters Uncomfortable In The Future And Make My Students And Colleagues Uncomfortable In The Present
Lesson #2748 - Privilege . . . . . Hurray, We're All Varying Degrees Of Awful
Lesson #2747 - Political Discourse, Part II . . . . . They Taste Great Grilled
Lesson #2746 - Group Announcement . . . . . More Or Less, I Guess
Lesson #2745 - Big Question #27 . . . . . My Guess At Final Results: 30% Ideality, 70% Practicality. But Perhaps That's Too Practical A Guess
Lesson #2744 - Babysitting . . . . . "I Considered Welding But That Did Seem A Bit Much"
Lesson #2743 - Kids . . . . . The Execution Here Is Really More Of A Joke Based On Graphical Depiction And The Ridiculousness Of Open Space, But You Enjoy What You'll Enjoy About It If Anything
Lesson #2742 - Vote . . . . . Super Tuesday Is Just A Regular Tuesday That Was Bitten By A Radioactive Tuesday
Lesson #2741 - Racism . . . . . The Irony(?) Of A Guy Presenting This While Dressed In A White Cloak Is Not Lost On Me

Lesson #2740 - Just Like Us . . . . . Reach For The Stars, So They Can Slap You With A Restraining Order
Lesson #2739 - Dad Science, Part VI . . . . . It's Just Etymology, Too, I Suppose
Lesson #2738 - Dad Science, Part V . . . . . I Only Want The Best For Your Future
Lesson #2737 - Sleep . . . . . Transport May Be Killing Me
Lesson #2736 - Job Difficulty . . . . . Everyone Always Tell You You're So Funny? Yes. Yes, I Bet They Do
Lesson #2735 - Cast . . . . . The Budgets To Shoot These Things Are Insane, No Wonder Everyone Is In Debt
Lesson #2734 - Urgh . . . . . If You Prefer Married Dessicated Male Husks, I'm The Guy For You
Lesson #2733 - Natural Born . . . . . Is A Mitosis-Born Clone 35 Years Of Age Or Zero? Another One To Consider
Lesson #2732 - Bad Children's Books . . . . . Oh What A Great Night That You Had That September! Oh What A Great Night That You Can't Quite Remember
Lesson #2731 - Friday . . . . . I Wonder If I Can Avoid Cleaning Those Papers Up Until July

Lesson #2730 - Burning . . . . . Fingers Crossed, Sanity Crossed
Lesson #2729 - Simple Philosophy . . . . . Do You Have A Craw Or A Maw? Now There's A Philosophical Question To Keep You Up At Night
Lesson #2728 - Warming . . . . . The Discomfort Is Entirely From The Breeze, Nothing From Shame
Lesson #2727 - Law . . . . . Those Founding Fathers, Such ESP They Had
Lesson #2726 - Valentine Poem . . . . . AwoooooOOOOOoooooo
Lesson #2725 - February 13th . . . . . I Don't Want To Know Who Comes Up With These Ideas, I Want To Know How In Heck It Gets Even Remotely Broadly Accepted And Recognized
Lesson #2724 - Work, Part III . . . . . These Kids Goddamn Better Appreciate This
Lesson #2723 - Work, Part II . . . . . Healthy Wealthy And Wise Is The Real One? You're Waking Up Early And Going To Bed Early, You Miss Out On All The Good Stuff At Night, In What Way Does That Sound Wise?
Lesson #2722 - Work, Part I . . . . . Hurray For Stupid Statements To Make Unhappy People Pursue Impossible Dreams
Lesson #2721 - Politics . . . . . Blarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
Lesson #2720 - Moral Figure . . . . . Someone Please Go Back And Edit Every STW Ever
Lesson #2719 - Football, Part II . . . . . MesoAmerican Sports Ball, Some Villagers Would Sneer
Lesson #2718 - Football, Part I . . . . . Endlessly Rehashed Each Week Between Competitions
Lesson #2717 - Big Question #26 . . . . . WHY ISN'T SHAPESHIFTING OR SUPERSPEED AN OPTION, You Scream
Lesson #2716 - Old . . . . . My Inner Monologue Is Somewhere Around 55, I Think, But My Inner Child Is Probably About 16, Which Is Older Than They Normally Are
Lesson #2715 - Massage . . . . . There's A Horror Movie About A Murder Massage Parlor . . . "Killer Thumbs"? "Murder Thumbs"? We'll Keep Working On It
Lesson #2714 - Confined Human Marination . . . . . Daycares, The Airplanes Of The Land
Science Comic: Fugacity . . . . . drawn by Joan Cooke
Lesson #2713 - Dad Science, Part IV . . . . . Although I Can't Blame Your Desires For Being What They Are On This One, Really
Lesson #2712 - Karaoke . . . . . Most People At The Orchestra Don't Mock Cheer, Maybe
Lesson #2711 - Big Question #25 . . . . . Most People Will Get This Wrong Because They Don't Know What The Terms Mean

Lesson #2710 - Scientific Detour . . . . . EXCUSE ME, I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE SOME CHEMISTRY WITH THIS ENGINEERING
Lesson #2709 - Fame . . . . . (feverishly does some very concerned Google searches)
Lesson #2708 - Regrets . . . . . I Am A Chameleon, Compare My Appearance To That In #2707, I Look Like Two Very Different People Of Very Different Ages And Sobrieties
Science Comic: Heat Exchangers . . . . . drawn by Matt Lubchansky
Lesson #2707 - Annoying With A Purpose . . . . . And Look How Low I Can Keep My Heartrate!
Lesson #2706 - Dad Science, Part III . . . . . This Really Isn't For Your Own Good, I Guess
Lesson #2705 - Dad Science, Part II . . . . . Memories To Your Head, Blood To Your Head, Same Thing
Lesson #2704 - Dad Science, Part I . . . . . This Worked Perfectly When She Had A Growth Spurt That Night
Lesson #2703 - Hura Crepitans . . . . . Hurray For Hura
Lesson #2702 - Surprises For Dads . . . . . I Keep Forgetting It's Not Hoof and Mouth Disease
Lesson #2701 - Equals . . . . . This Is Actually A Math Problem, Most People Just Assume They Know The Answer And Don't Care About The Math It Takes To Get There

Lesson #2700 - Creeping People Out, Part XXIV . . . . . "Nearly Lost A Finger Getting This Stitch Out Back In '21 . . . "
Lesson #2699 - Sleep Transition . . . . . "Oh Man, Remember This Time You Did That Stupid Thing? Hell Of A Back Catalog You've Got Here To Go With That One"
Lesson #2698 - Big Question #24 . . . . . Pudding In The Flooding? No, No One Would Want That
Lesson #2697 - Necessary Sadness . . . . . Yippie-Ki-Yay
Lesson #2696 - Political Approval . . . . . The Winner Incidentally Has A Bionic Liver
Lesson #2695 - Posturing . . . . . "HOLD ME BACK, HOLD ME BACK"
Lesson #2694 - Oddities . . . . . At The Very Least, Very Appreciative Of His 'Biggest Mistake'
Lesson #2693 - The Internet . . . . . Every Rule After That Is About Porn
Lesson #2692 - The Lottery . . . . . You Are More Likely To Be Killed By A Firework. Not Lightning. A FIREWORK
Lesson #2691 - Big Question #23 . . . . . Eh, My Descendents Have It Coming, Doubly So Now

Lesson #2690 - Attitude . . . . . Would Have Worn My Hat Backwards But I Still Can't Completely Pull That Off, Although The Beard Helps
Lesson #2689 - Gun Debate . . . . . Guns Don't Kill People, Technically It's The Impact Of The Bullet, Let's Outlaw All Impacts
Lesson #2688 - Laughter . . . . . Laughter Is The Best Medicine But I'm Uncomfortable If This Comedy Album Is An Analgesic
Lesson #2687 - Sleepy . . . . . SLEEP CANNOT BE DEFIED ALTHOUGH IT DOES RESPECT DEFIANCE
Lesson #2686 - Parenting, Depicted Visually: What You Say Vs. What You Think . . . . . The Blank Board Comics Are Fun Just For Posing, Although The Titles Get Ridiculously Long
Lesson #2685 - Appetite For Cuteness . . . . . Cuteness Is Somewhere On The Food Pyramid, I'm Sure
Lesson #2684 - 2016 . . . . . It's An Election Year, We're Doubly Doomed
Lesson #2683 - New Year(s) (Big Question #22) . . . . . Pretty Easy Decision For Me, But Maybe Not For You
Lesson #2682 - Resolving The Old Year . . . . . I Should Have Started Doing This January 1st. Oh Well There's A Resolution For Next Year
Lesson #2681 - Year-End Lists . . . . . I Didn't Know Music Even Existed Anymore, How About That

Lesson #2680 - Justice . . . . . I'd Say "Rest In Peace, Tamir Rice", But That's Not Really Being Allowed To Happen, Nor Should It Even Be A Consideration In The First Place
Lesson #2679 - Present Anatomy . . . . . This Is Not The Anatomy Of The Present State Of Time, I'm Not A Quantum Physicist
Lesson #2678 - Home For The Holidays . . . . . It's Reversible Because You Have To Keep Conducting The Reaction Every Year
Lesson #2677 - 'Tis The Season . . . . . On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me, 12 Spiders, 11 Spiders, 10 Spiders And More And More Spiders Please Send Help
Lesson #2676 - A Haunting . . . . . This Could Easily Have Been Tequila, Tequila, And Tequila, To Be Honest
Lesson #2675 - Christmas Miracles . . . . . I'm Rooting For Krampus This Year
Lesson #2674 - Nostalgia . . . . . As Always, It's A Gateway Emotion, So Don't Open The Door Too Wide Or Disgust Can Come Sliding Through
Lesson #2673 - Mulled . . . . . Maybe You Have To Put Brain Matter Into It, Or Maybe Just Brian Matter If You Know Any Brians
Lesson #2672 - Mistletoe . . . . . It's Actually A French Saying, 'Mist Le Toe', Which Is Also Rather Gross
Lesson #2671 - Leaks . . . . . More Like A Ho-Dumb-Culus, Right

Lesson #2670 - Big Question #21 . . . . . The Elves Are Real No Matter Which Option, Right?
Lesson #2669 - Teaching Needs . . . . . The Secret Skill
Lesson #2668 - Politics . . . . . Sigh, Hurray For The Future
Lesson #2667 - Brainwashing . . . . . Isn't That Where Brain Wrinkles Come From, From Sitting Too Long In Different Tubs, Anyway
Lesson #2666 - STEM For All Seasons . . . . . "Strike The Harp And Join The Chorus" Could Remain As It Is
Lesson #2665 - Dispatches From The Front . . . . . Several Thanksgiving Soldiers Always Claim To Get Undercover Just As Effectively, And Then You See Families Eating Christmas Turkey, So They're A Little Less Reliable
Lesson #2664 - Christmas Sources . . . . . Some People Aren't Going To Be Very Happy About This One, Are They
Lesson #2663 - Big Question #20 . . . . . What About A Radioactive Santa
Lesson #2662 - Child Development . . . . . More Weapons Where That One Came From
Lesson #2661 - Holiday Traditions . . . . . I Don't Know How You Celebrate Christmas, But I Hope It's Better Than This Way

Lesson #2660 - Tree Decorating . . . . . Like A Decoration Hemline
Lesson #2659 - Suggested Names: Tree Farms . . . . . Get Off Scot-Tree; Tree As A Bird
Lesson #2658 - Seasonal Feet Problems . . . . . Why Are We Weaponizing The Carpets, Again?
Lesson #2657 - Honest Fairy Tales . . . . . I Mean, What Do You Really Think Happened?
Lesson #2656 - Big Question #19 . . . . . Pimentos Or Cheese, More Likely
Lesson #2655 - More Thoughts, More Prayers . . . . . More Problems
Lesson #2654 - Suggested Names: Shoe Stores . . . . . Shoe As Steel?
Lesson #2653 - Suggested Names: Bath Stores . . . . . The Great White Soap?
Lesson #2652 - Reflecting . . . . . The Cat Is Family But I Didn't Realize We Were That Close
Lesson #2651 - Life Navigation . . . . . And Here We Continue To Go

Lesson #2650 - Terrified . . . . . Hurray For Us
Lesson #2649 - Day After Thanksgiving . . . . . Even If Your Family Has Left, You're Not Alone, My Friend
Lesson #2648 - Thanksgiving History . . . . . All Coated In Goat Cheese, Served With Chestnuts And Squashes
Lesson #2647 - Family at Thanksgiving . . . . . Amoebas Don't Even Have Blood, So They Can't Even Complain About Being Blood-Related, Anyway
Lesson #2646 - Bananas . . . . . I Am Rather Uncomfortable At The Moment
Lesson #2645 - Sex Positive . . . . . If This Comic Makes My Students Uncomfortable, All The Bonus To Me
Lesson #2644 - Eyes . . . . . Yellow Eyes Apparently Mean You Have Liver Disease, But They Could Also Mean You're Secretly A Cat Or A Lizard
Lesson #2643 - Dancing Partners . . . . . May They Grow Up Slowly Enough That They Can Never Tell How Bad You Are
Lesson #2642 - Big Question #18 . . . . . There's Acceptable Portions, I Guess
Lesson #2641 - Huddled Masses . . . . . All In The Name Of Patriotism

Science Comic: PID Controls . . . . . drawn by Mary J. Lai
Lesson #2640 - Recent Events, Part III . . . . . Here We Go Yet Again
Lesson #2639 - Recent Events, Part II . . . . . The Best Thing About Xenophobia Is That It's A Great Name, I Can Totally Buy In Based On That Name Alone
Lesson #2638 - Recent Events, Part I . . . . . Funny That Might Has Been Traded In For Blusterous Shouting About Might, At Least It's A Lot Less Punchy
Lesson #2637 - Definitions, Part XXIX . . . . . A Little Weird Sharing Anything Even Remotely Connected To Humor
Lesson #2636 - As One . . . . . I Don't Have Anything Else Right Now
Lesson #2635 - Learning Experience . . . . . To Be Fair I Sat Down Immediately
Lesson #2634 - The States, Part VII . . . . . This Comic Was Made In The Snow While Being Followed By A Homeless Man
Lesson #2633 - Hotel Room Views . . . . . Oh, Look, A Drifter Is Attacking That Car With A Crowbar, That's Different At Least
Lesson #2632 - Hotel Shampoo . . . . . Unfortunately The Hotel Germs Are Probably A Similar Resource As Well
Lesson #2631 - Poster Sessions . . . . . "Meat Market" Also Refers To Encounters Leading To Casual Sex, So I Guess I'm Saying Is That People Are Fornicating With Science Posters

Lesson #2630 - Interior Decorating . . . . . I Can't Imagine How Much The Designer Was Paid
Lesson #2629 - Big Question #17 . . . . . Kind Of A Natural Option To This One
Lesson #2628 - Crazy Theories . . . . . The Only Problem Is That We Never Get To The "The End"
Lesson #2627 - Sleep . . . . . We're So Many Games Behind We Don't Even Stand A Chance Of Making The Playoffs At This Point
Lesson #2626 - Turkeys . . . . . The View Of Eagles Would Go From Regal Birds To Dumb Birds. Stereotyping Is Terrible
Lesson #2625 - Possibilities . . . . . Got A Cause You're An Advocate For? How Many Volunteers Do You Think You'll Need?
Lesson #2624 - Bowling . . . . . Boomerang Bowling, There's An Idea
Lesson #2623 - The Crux of Halloween . . . . . Or Showcase Another Self, Whatever You Like
Lesson #2622 - Big Question #16 . . . . . A Pepper That Has Been Abandoned And Yet Still Exists?
Lesson #2621 - Ghost Valentines . . . . . I'd Ask You What A Ghost's Favorite Part Of Anatomy Is, But That's A Little Juvenile

Lesson #2620 - Spirits . . . . . This Also Does Not Mean You Should Use Your Tequila As Eye Shadow
Lesson #2619 - Spooky Creatures . . . . . If You Have A Bee Farm, There Are Zombees, But That's Really Pushing It
Lesson #2618 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part VII . . . . . I Cannot Be Held Accountable If You Are Never Invited To The Party In Future Years
Lesson #2617 - Love Disasters . . . . . Baby Don't Engulf Me In Lava, Don't Engulf Me In Lava, No More
Lesson #2616 - Free Movement . . . . . The Moves, I Do Have Them
Lesson #2615 - Big Question #15 . . . . . Taken Off Into The Sea By A Fish Monster And Likely Drowned
Lesson #2614 - Benefit Of Political Hearings . . . . . BRAIIIIIIIIIIINS WE DON'T HAVE
Lesson #2613 - Canadian Politics . . . . . Whatever Their Politics Are, "Alliance of the North" Has A Great Name For A Political Party
Lesson #2612 - Romance As Science . . . . . Eventually Theology, Probably, Not Really A Science Though
Lesson #2611 - Potatoes . . . . . Oh, Apparently My Best Friend Being A Potato Is Weird

Lesson #2610 - Males . . . . . I'm Just Working My Way To Being The Rho Male
Lesson #2609 - Ramming Speed . . . . . Everything Is A Castle, And All Around The World, They're Crumbling Because Of Me
Lesson #2608 - Definitions, Part XXVIII . . . . . I Need To Become An n-topus, Appaerntly, At Least For A Few Hours
Lesson #2607 - Classroom Celebrations . . . . . Sliding On My Knees Across The Floor
Lesson #2606 - Content . . . . . Are You Content With Your Content? You Get An "F" Anyway
Lesson #2605 - Plastic Remediation . . . . . Mealworms, Mealworms, Roly-Poly Mealworms, Eat Up Plastic, Yum
Lesson #2604 - Generation Gap . . . . . That Gap Is The Crevice People Fall Into When Judging The Next Mountain Over, And You Hear Their Screams Rising From The Valley Below Forever Until The End Times
Lesson #2603 - Zoning Regulations . . . . . I Hope The Posting Of This Comic Doesn't Leak To The Authorities, Although Screw Them If It Does
Lesson #2602 - Family . . . . . Off To Maine, Off To The Land Ruled By Lobsters, Hope We Can Get The Blessing Of The Lobster King
Lesson #2601 - Big Question #14 . . . . . If We Replaced The A With An I, We Could Spell SMITE

Lesson #2600 - Independent Thoughts . . . . . Within The Brain, Always Only Within The Brain
Lesson #2599 - Red Ink . . . . . A Poor Radioactive Squid
Lesson #2598 - Nobels . . . . . Krypton's Chances Are Doomed
Lesson #2597 - Ghostbusters . . . . . Oh Thesaurus, You're Truly My Best Friend, Forget My Wife
Lesson #2596 - Baseball History, Part I . . . . . He Was Bleeding So Badly, He Had To Leave The Game, Kind Of Ridiculous, Honestly
Lesson #2595 - Conspiracies . . . . . I Mean, Come On, What Are The Odds
Lesson #2594 - Big Question #13 . . . . . February Is Going To Be So Underrated
Lesson #2593 - Family . . . . . I Am Somewhat Displeased To Have Spent The Last Few Days Anxious About A Cat, To Be Honest
Lesson #2592 - Questioning . . . . . Also "Are You Sure?"
Lesson #2591 - Posing . . . . . Posing Nude Is Imposing

Lesson #2590 - Big Question #12 . . . . . Never Give Up Hope But Never Let Dreams Die
Lesson #2589 - Boos . . . . . It's Easily The Greatest Sound That We Make When We Speak, I Understand Why We Say It
Lesson #2588 - Fights . . . . . Gunfight Could Also Imply People Hitting Each Other With Their Biceps
Lesson #2587 - Hands . . . . . "Can I Get Your Digits" Is Now Not A Pick-Up But A Request For A Snack, Apparently
Science Comic: Uncertainty . . . . . drawn by Amanda Kahl
Lesson #2586 - Physical Children . . . . . I Don't Want To Be Responsible For The Apocalypse, This Is Making Me Really Wonder About Having Three Kids
Lesson #2585 - Oktoberfest . . . . . October, Opening Up A Second Front On September! It Feels Like This Is Something We Should Have Learned Not To Do Based On History Or Something
Lesson #2584 - Big Question #11 . . . . . I Bet Most People Don't Know What Tall Ships Are
Lesson #2583 - Cats . . . . . The Dog Was Lying Loyally On The Floor In Front Of Us, But I Think Wakefield's Face Is What Nails This One
Lesson #2582 - Occupational Mindset . . . . . I Want To Be A Superhero Who Can Set Himself On Fire And Fly, But That Seems A Bad Way To Dress Before I Get Superpowers
Lesson #2581 - Suggested Names: Bars, Part II . . . . . Can't Drink Straight
Lesson #2580 - Bakery Offerings . . . . . A Reverse Boston Accent In Adding R's In Random Places
Lesson #2579 - Food Definitions . . . . . And Don't Even Get Me Started On Their Stance On Coalslaw
Lesson #2578 - Children's Clay . . . . . The Roadkill Similarity Becomes Even More Apt When All You Can Make Are Snakes
Lesson #2577 - Big Question #10 . . . . . Debating Making This "Woof" Versus "Bark", Maybe We'll Do That In A Future Question
Lesson #2576 - Goodbyes . . . . . "Hang Loose, Chocolate Moose" Is Actually A Little More Fun To Say
Lesson #2575 - Illumination . . . . . A Library Is A Potential Bonfire Of The Mind, Unfortunately In More Ways Than One
Lesson #2574 - Advocate . . . . . The Research-Grad Student Note Combination Of A-Flat And E-Flat, For Whatever Reason
Lesson #2573 - Labor Day . . . . . Hospitals Everwhere Are Overloaded
Lesson #2572 - Funny . . . . . "You Are The Worst Movie Critic Ever, We Don't Know Why We Hired You For The New York Times"
Lesson #2571 - Caffeine . . . . . Latte Plugs Now Available

Lesson #2570 - Big Question #9 . . . . . IT'S A TRAP
Lesson #2569 - Plan . . . . . I Am Going To Get So Angry At Every Idiot Who Simply Adds "5) Profit" As A 'Clever Joke' When Really It's Been Left Out For A Reason
Science Comic: Data Analysis . . . . . drawn by Beth Sparks
Lesson #2568 - Friends . . . . . My Birthday Parties Were Always Heavily Populated But I Always Had Tons Of Cake Left Over, Weirdly
Lesson #2567 - Summer . . . . . This Is Clearly All The Work Of Big Vacation
Lesson #2566 - Hearts . . . . . A Comic Inspired By Looking At A Tomato
Lesson #2565 - Fishing . . . . . Be So Patient, The Fish Just Hop Up Into The Boat On Their Own
Lesson #2564 - Big Question #8 . . . . . Who Knows, Not Me, At Least Not Yet
Lesson #2563 - Guns, Again . . . . . Onwards, I Guess
Lesson #2562 - Baby Heads . . . . . I Apologize For The Images In Your Head Reading This, You Poor Naive Individual
Lesson #2561 - Baby Express . . . . . Which Explains This Stamp Tattoo On My Side, I Guess
Lesson #2560 - Octopi Ennui . . . . . They Got The Wrong Message From 127 Hours
Lesson #2559 - Cinderella . . . . . Aschenputtel, Aschenputtel, Night And Day It's Aschenputtel
Lesson #2558 - Climate Change . . . . . This Is A Fool-Proof Plan, Sadly
Lesson #2557 - Big Question #7 . . . . . Shades Of Notoriety Either Way
Lesson #2556 - Little Known Facts, Part IV . . . . . Everyone Can Play A Tuning Fork, That's Not That Impressive
Lesson #2555 - Sanity Testing . . . . . My Eyes Are Very Bug-Like, Aren't They
Lesson #2554 - Science . . . . . I Sat In On A Weird, Weird Conference Talk Yesterday, The Professor Claimed Chemistry Was A Religion And It Started To Terrify Me, Calling All Of Us The Chosen And Then Passing Around Kool-Aid
Lesson #2553 - Chemicals . . . . . An Entire Grocery Aisle Full Of Empty Boxes And Bottles Crumpled Inward On Themselves
Lesson #2552 - Helpers . . . . . This Could Be About Drugs If You Don't Read Past The Title
Lesson #2551 - Romantic Chemistry . . . . . Too Often Leads To Combustion

Lesson #2550 - Big Question #6 . . . . . If I Didn't Have Kids And A Family, I'd Almost Certainly Opt For Anarchy, To Be Honest
Lesson #2549 - Hot Dogs . . . . . I Just Want To Spread Mustard All Over The People Arguing This At Me
Lesson #2548 - Revealed . . . . . An Issue Of Monumental Concern In Our World Today
Lesson #2547 - Learning/Forgetting . . . . . DO OUR WORK FOR US
Lesson #2546 - Platypus . . . . . All Hail The Miracle Of Evolution
Lesson #2545 - Tranquility . . . . . Or Until The Wind Flips Your Boat
Lesson #2544 - Cement . . . . . They Didn't Say It Would Set THIS Fast
Lesson #2543 - Big Question #5 . . . . . I Could Go Either Way On This One
Lesson #2542 - Definitions, Part XXVII . . . . . Squish
Lesson #2541 - Half-Birthdays . . . . . These Are Birthdays That You're Only Related To Because Your Parent Got Remarried And Then You Were Reborn, Somehow. That Doesn't Make Any Sense, Actually

Lesson #2540 - Campaigns . . . . . In The Future, Campaigns Will Start Before Candidates Are Even Born
Lesson #2539 - Creeping People Out, Part XXIII . . . . . Cargo Shorts Don't Really Make For A Great Thong Look
Lesson #2538 - Mornings . . . . . I Repeat, The Sky Has Fallen Into Two Pieces And Don't Even Get Me Started On What The Sun Looks Like
Lesson #2537 - Camp . . . . . And New Frontier, Too
Lesson #2536 - Big Question #4 . . . . . You're Going To Disappoint Me With Your Answers Here, Too
Lesson #2535 - Crowbars . . . . . The Almond-And-Beak Flavor Is The Most Appetizing
Lesson #2534 - Tequila . . . . . If She/He DOES Say Yes, That Should Probably Make You Wonder, Too
Lesson #2533 - Ability and Reputation . . . . . All Hail Pedro
Lesson #2532 - Reading . . . . . Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Lesson #2531 - Vegetables . . . . . Zucchini Are Deadly To Your Health After All

Lesson #2530 - Numbers . . . . . What Is That In Binary, I Wonder
Lesson #2529 - Big Question #3 . . . . . Really Depends On Your Views On Pies And Parfaits, I Guess
Lesson #2528 - Sleep . . . . . NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH THE MOON GOD
Lesson #2527 - Affection For Chickens . . . . . Poultrymates Are The Most Sultrymate Soulmates. I'm Trying Too Hard, I Know
Lesson #2526 - Aspiration . . . . . What A Good Life You Could Theoretically Have
Lesson #2525 - Candidate Tone . . . . . rrrrRRRRRRAAAARGgggghhh
Lesson #2524 - Long-Term Love . . . . . Seven Happy Years Full Of Creatures, Some Of Them Human
Lesson #2523 - Venn Again . . . . . Not Sure How Radar Popcorn Works But That's Only Because I'm Not In The CIA
Lesson #2522 - Big Question #2 . . . . . Are You More Carefree Or Alcoholic, This Is The Question To Decide
Lesson #2521 - Space . . . . . Or If New Horizons Had Somehow Entered A Wormhole Into The Netherworld That All The Satellites Out There Are Named For, And We Were Getting Back Images Of A VERY Different Sort

Lesson #2520 - Restaurant Styles . . . . . Imagine Watching Your Spaghetti And Meatballs Suddenly Break Down Into Wheat, Tomatoes, And A Cow On Your Plate
Lesson #2519 - New Parents, Part VII . . . . . Come With Me, And You'll Be, In A World Of Regurgitation
Lesson #2518 - Magic . . . . . Magicians Are Gods, Very Low-Ranking Gods
Lesson #2517 - DIY Exorcism . . . . . Possession Is Nine-Tenths Of The Law, The Other Tenth Is Exorcism
Lesson #2516 - Tasting . . . . . Had Some Mead For The First Time. Also Wanted To Throw Up After Trying An IPA
Lesson #2515 - Big Question . . . . . WHAT TO DECIDE, I DON'T KNOW
Lesson #2514 - Pseudonyms . . . . . "Smith" Has The Opposite Problem
Lesson #2513 - Perfect Mix . . . . . It Just Keeps Coming
Lesson #2512 - Travels . . . . . Nightcrawler Has It Made
Lesson #2511 - Sports . . . . . Can We Start Another World Cup Right Now, Please?

Lesson #2510 - Fifths . . . . . For Every Person Who Sends Me A Message About Musical Fifths, I Will Scream
Lesson #2509 - The Freedom of Freedoms . . . . . Life, Liberty, And The Pursuit Of Stupid Things To Say
Lesson #2508 - Suggested Names: Endocrinology . . . . . Dead Man's Gland
Lesson #2507 - Suggested Names: Diners . . . . . Beat Me To The Lunch
Lesson #2506 - Suggested Names: Bars . . . . . A Grog Is Man's Best Friend
Lesson #2505 - Conservation . . . . . Babies Are A Process Of Mystery Physics
Lesson #2504 - Modern Dinosaurs . . . . . Jurassic Chicken, Coming To A Farm Near You
Lesson #2503 - Traditions . . . . . If You Want Your Traditions To Stay Important, After All
Lesson #2502 - History . . . . . Onwards and Onwards
Lesson #2501 - Miracles . . . . . You Pray, And I'll Plan

Lesson #2500 - Creeping People Out, Part XXII . . . . . "Must Be Making A Girl"
Lesson #2499 - Brand Characters . . . . . EAT ME, I HAVE A PERSONALITY
Lesson #2498 - Band Members . . . . . There Are No Hills In Hallelujah The Hills
Lesson #2497 - Eureka . . . . . This Is How I Celebrate All Of My Research Breakthroughs, By The Way. It's Also Why Northeastern Won't Let Me Advise Grad Students
Guest Lecture #40 - Cannonball . . . . .
Student Presentation #26 - Test Taking . . . . .
Student Presentation #25 - Group Projects . . . . .
Student Presentation #24 - Giant Dogs . . . . .
Student Presentation #23 - Less Favorites . . . . .
Guest Lecture #39 - Jon Rosenberg . . . . .
Student Presentation #22 - Creeping People Out . . . . .
Guest Lecture #38 - Dante's Sister . . . . .
Guest Lecture #37 - Jim Landherr . . . . .
Guest Lecture #36 - Chad Orzel . . . . .
Guest Lecture #35 - Maki Naro . . . . .
Guest Lecture #34 - Kelly Weinersmith . . . . .
Guest Lecture #33 - Juan Santapau . . . . .
Guest Lecture #32 - Rosemary Mosco . . . . .
Lesson #2496 - Two Daughters . . . . . Seriously, Hurray
Lesson #2495 - Two Daughters . . . . . Two Placenta And Three Thin Mints, Please
Lesson #2494 - Two Daughters . . . . . The Cats Would Disagree That I Am The Patriarch And Would Overthrow Me In A Second
Lesson #2493 - Two Daughters . . . . . I Do Kind Of Love That No One Understands Why A Girl Would Wear Blue, Though, Or Dinosaurs, Apparently
Lesson #2492 - Achievement . . . . . Biology Is Just An Excuse
Lesson #2491 - Anniversary (Belated), Part VII . . . . . It's Also The Copper Anniversary, But I Didn't Want To Rip A Pipe Out Of My Basement Plumbing System

Lesson #2490 - Kids . . . . . Just Got To Raise Them Right, Is All
Lesson #2489 - Umbilical Cords . . . . . (puts ear to stomach) Did I Hear A "Yee-Haw!"?
Lesson #2488 - Creeping People Out, Part XXI . . . . . I Remember When I Went Through Puberty And My Gills Fell Off, Those Were The Days, The Soul-Crushing Days
Lesson #2487 - Motherlands . . . . . That's Grandpa's Flag. Miss You, Grandpa
Lesson #2486 - Expansion . . . . . The Rate Is Somewhat Exponential, Soon We're All Doomed
Lesson #2485 - Monkey Houses . . . . . Particularly The Babies On Display In The Maternity Ward
Lesson #2484 - Buns . . . . . I WAS FOLLOWING THE RECIPE, GET OFF MY BACK
Lesson #2483 - The Uterus . . . . . If It's Your Second Baby Of The Same Gender, It's The Little Boys' Womb Or Little Girls' Womb
Lesson #2482 - Commencement, Of Sorts . . . . . And Your Family Is There, So Proud Of You
Lesson #2481 - The Placenta . . . . . Placenta Friends beats Invisible Friends

Lesson #2480 - Definitions, Part XXVI . . . . . And See, This One Was Posted With Comic 2-4-8 . . . . 0. A Connection For Three Out Of Four Digits!
Lesson #2479 - Ultrasounds . . . . . Booooo, Science, You've Gone Too Far
Lesson #2478 - Waiting . . . . . Arbitrary Time Steps In Each Rectangle
Lesson #2477 - Parenting . . . . . Based On A Slight Amount Of Empirical Data And A Heavy Amount Of Speculation And Judgment
Lesson #2476 - Raw Power . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, FETUS, AND I SHALL BE MERCIFUL
Lesson #2475 - Implantation . . . . . Let's Just Hope That The Fetus Gets Taken In By Ma And Pa Kent Virus, Not By Lex Luthorplacenta
Lesson #2474 - Expecting . . . . . I Bet I Lose Ten Pounds Just From Stress
Lesson #2473 - Mixed Emotions . . . . . Oh Look, I Gave Myself Heartburn
Lesson #2472 - Mother(s) . . . . . A Cow's Mother Is A Moother
Lesson #2471 - Drugs . . . . . This Is Why They Call Cowards 'Chicken', Maybe?

Lesson #2470 - Graduation . . . . . Awkward Hugs All Around
Lesson #2469 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . I Was Very Touched. Not Physically, Obviously.
Lesson #2468 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . Words Failed Me, Quite Like The Score For This Draft
Lesson #2467 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . I Need To Check My Notes On How To Even Solve This One Anymore
Lesson #2466 - In Honor Of My Students . . . . . Don't Ask Me To Check The Math On These
Lesson #2465 - Garbled . . . . . Um, La La La La
Lesson #2464 - Protests . . . . . Cameras Don't Work Until There's A Protest And Somebody Gets Hurt In One Direction Or Another, This Is Basic Electrical Engineering
Lesson #2463 - Male Baked Goods . . . . . I Don't Want To Know What Their Ingredients Would Be
Lesson #2462 - Rational Explanations Of Irrational Phobias, Part XIII . . . . . Although If They Don't Succeed, They're Going To Fry For It, I Tell You. Or Be Grilled. Or Baked. You Know How It Goes
Lesson #2461 - Education . . . . . This Is How I Won Those Teaching Awards, I Guess

Lesson #2460 - Riots . . . . . Anyway, Enjoy Finding Out The Inner Views Of Your Friends Today
Lesson #2459 - Parrots . . . . . Awk! Polly Wants You To Die! Awk!
Lesson #2458 - Decisions . . . . . "Sunday Mornings" Are In There Somewhere
Lesson #2457 - Strength . . . . . Paul Rudd Has A New Nemesis
Lesson #2456 - Dad Science . . . . . Being A Dad Is Like Wearing Your Own Invisible Labcoat At All Times
Lesson #2455 - Vigorous Arm Movements . . . . . I Should Play The Lottery Right Now
Lesson #2454 - Babies, Part II . . . . . "Oh, So That's Why You Named Me 'Benedict', Dad"
Lesson #2453 - Babies, Part I . . . . . "Oh, So That's Why You Nicknamed Me 'Original Roast', Dad"
Lesson #2452 - Marathons . . . . . And People Are Probably Watching When It Happens, Too
Lesson #2451 - Excitement . . . . . Excitement, From The Makers of ExciteBike! It's Virtual Cement Pouring For 8-Bit Gaming Systems!

Lesson #2450 - And So We Go . . . . . Mmmmmmm, Birthday Cupcakes
Lesson #2449 - Idiocy . . . . . Surrounded By Vaccinated Idiots, That's The Worst Kind
Lesson #2448 - Learning . . . . . So Much Indigestion
Lesson #2447 - Candy . . . . . Quantum Candy
Lesson #2446 - Candidacy . . . . . I'm Probably Ineligible Anyway, I've Been On Twitter For Six And A Half Years
Lesson #2445 - Suggested Names: Cutlery Stores, Part II . . . . . Hey, Fork-Eyes!
Lesson #2444 - Character Naming . . . . . Some Seem Like He Went Through A Child's Single Syllable Word Book
Lesson #2443 - Suggested Names: Cutlery Stores . . . . . Give A New Lease Of Knife
Lesson #2442 - Child-Rearing . . . . . Someone Once Told My Parents I'd Make A Decent Tight End In Football. They Responded By Asking Him Not To Comment On My Tight End
Lesson #2441 - Science and Religion . . . . . I've Probably Made This Joke Before, But Oh Well, I Forgot To Write That Down In My Experimental Notebook

Lesson #2440 - Chemists . . . . . Better Living Through Chemistry, And Worse Jokes
Lesson #2439 - Couples . . . . . Hurray, Or Something
Lesson #2438 - Baseball Metaphor . . . . . It's Like Jesus And Baseball Were Both Resurrected Back-To-Back
Lesson #2437 - Other Easters . . . . . A Gift From God, Kind Of
Lesson #2436 - Backs . . . . . Stupid Body
Lesson #2435 - Jackalopes . . . . . The Jackanape Prefers Tequila, So It Is Said
Lesson #2434 - Squads . . . . . A Group Of Gnus Is An Implausibility, But I Don't Believe It
Lesson #2433 - Ghost Work . . . . . Yes, I Have A Hard Hat Lying Around The House, Don't You? Okay, It's Actually theSwede's
Guest Lecture #31 - The Art Of War . . . . .
Lesson #2432 - Plants . . . . . Not Enough Dressing In The World
Lesson #2431 - Young and Single . . . . . I'd Be Okay With Being A Part Parent - Part Submarine Hybrid, To Be Honest

Lesson #2430 - Axes . . . . . Now, To Teach The Cat How To Flail Its Arms
Lesson #2429 - Kends . . . . . I Am A Bad Etymologist, And A Bad Entomologist Too
Lesson #2428 - Less-Than-Amazing Grace . . . . . "Lame-azing Grace", If You Will
Lesson #2427 - Problem Solving . . . . . Funny How That Works
Lesson #2426 - Needing Space . . . . . "We'd Be Happier If You Weren't So Geocentric"
Lesson #2425 - A Brief History Of Time . . . . . These Rhymes Were Rather Ill
Lesson #2424 - Bad Baby Names (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . Just Missing The Bracket Was "Not Any Vowels"
Lesson #2423 - Maple Syrup . . . . . A Romantic Movie Set At A Maple Syrup Farm Would Be So Sappy
Lesson #2422 - Known (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . Don't Trust Anyone In Authority And Trust The People You Vote In To Replace Them Even Less
Lesson #2421 - Rooting (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . How Many People Do You Think Were Upset That This Comic Wasn't About Animals Rooting Around For Foot? Or Were Arborists Who Though Their Time Had Finally Come?

Lesson #2420 - Decisions (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . The Trash Talk Between The Two Organs Is Probably Delightful
Lesson #2419 - "Victory" (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . Anyway, His Fist Is More Bruised Than My Head
Lesson #2418 - "Science" (Bracket Week VII) . . . . . Also The Polar Ice Caps Are Gone
Lesson #2417 - Sales . . . . . It'd Help If They Sold Something Other Than Healing Crystals, Though
Lesson #2416 - Kayke . . . . . "Wait, If He Was German, Wouldn't It Be Kuchen" "SHUT UP YOU"
Lesson #2415 - Utopia . . . . . How Much Fruitopia Do They Drink In Utopia? None. No One Lives There, Did You Completely Ignore The Comic
Lesson #2414 - Saying . . . . . Degree To Which It Is Noticed Is Proportional To Average Length Of The Words Used
Lesson #2413 - Space Probes . . . . . If The Probe Misses, We'll All Be Sancho Pancaked
Lesson #2412 - Science Fiction . . . . . C-3PO Is Just Sooooooooooo Innocent
Lesson #2411 - The Universe . . . . . To Infinity And Beyond, And Then More Infinity And Then More Beyond

Lesson #2410 - Sportscasting . . . . . Boom Goes The Dynamite
Lesson #2409 - Insults . . . . . Truly, Sir, You Are A Modern Day Shakkspeare
Lesson #2408 - Brain Freeze . . . . . Please Thaw Brain Appropriately With High Pressure Steam
Lesson #2407 - Fugacity . . . . . I'm Sure You Understand It Now, I'm Sure
Lesson #2406 - Imagination Box . . . . . The Metaphor Falls Apart Pretty Quickly, I Think, But What Does It Matter, I'm Awake Now And Thinking About It
Lesson #2405 - Side-Effects . . . . . Sure, I'll Take This Pill, But Neither Of Us Are Going To Like It
Lesson #2404 - Goldfish . . . . . Memento 2: "Did I Ever Tell You About Sammy Plankton?"
Lesson #2403 - Plumbing, Part II . . . . . Excuse Me, Ma'am, I'm Here To Defrost Your Pipes
Lesson #2402 - Plumbing, Part I . . . . . I Eat Mushrooms And Own A Turtle, Too, Somebody Give Me My Own Video Game Series Already
Lesson #2401 - Book Titles . . . . . "You'll Want To Set This Book On Fire After Reading"

Lesson #2400 - Learning . . . . . A Student Who Is Always In Your Classes Could Be Called A Chalker, Perhaps
Lesson #2399 - Coffee Consumption . . . . . I Get 5 Miles To The Pot, The Old MPP Unit Of Measurement, Which Unfortunately Has A Wide Standard Deviation In Common Usage Because Of Stoners
Lesson #2398 - Math . . . . . Science Is The Harry Potter Of Math. Wait, That Makes No Sense
Lesson #2397 - Jugglers . . . . . (Clown Theme)
Lesson #2396 - Award Shows . . . . . Pizza, Too, If DeGeneres Is Hosting
Lesson #2395 - Powers, Scientifically Speaking . . . . . I Kinesis, You Kinesis, He She Or It Kinesis
Lesson #2394 - Butts . . . . . What A Stern On Her, That Stern Is One Heck Of A Turn-On, She's Got A Stern-On, If You Know What I Mean
Lesson #2393 - Educational Curriculum . . . . . Not That An UnCommon Core Makes It Necessarily Better, Mind You
Lesson #2392 - Fasting . . . . . Don't Mind Me, Just Gnawing On My Own Arm Over Here
Lesson #2391 - Punks . . . . . Who Spray Paints When You Can Chalk

Lesson #2390 - Parents' Anniversaries . . . . . Stupid Brain, I'm Going To Poke You With An Icicle
Lesson #2389 - Breaking Point . . . . . Polar Bears Are Especially Untrustworthy, And Don't Even Get Me Started On Penguins
Lesson #2388 - Cupid . . . . . Probably Highly Dependent On Which Book Cupid Hits With An Arrow And How Far It Penetrates And I Realized How That Sounds Now That I've Typed It And I'm Sorry
Lesson #2387 - Valentine Poem . . . . . Why Does This Candy Taste Like Blood
Lesson #2386 - Valentine News . . . . . "I Said I Was Going To Give Him My Heart, So Then He Ate It"
Lesson #2385 - Commuting . . . . . No One Should Ever Fist-Pump In Celebration That They Actually Made It To Work
Lesson #2384 - Void . . . . . Five Bucks Says No One Appreciates This One Or Enjoys It As Much As I Did, Or As The Neighbors Did Watching Me Freeze While Making It
Lesson #2383 - Winter Storms . . . . . Old Man Winter Hates Weight Loss New Year's Resolutions
Lesson #2382 - Meatballs . . . . . You Briefly Become The Owner Of An IKEA, Too
Lesson #2381 - World Peace . . . . . I Call For A Cease-Fire And Call For You To Pass The Soap

Lesson #2380 - Imaginary Science . . . . . My Work Was Air-Peer-Reviewed, Which I Suppose Means It Was Reviewed By Ghosts
Lesson #2379 - Dragons . . . . . Koffleesi
Lesson #2378 - Aging . . . . . Wait And Do Or Wait And See
Lesson #2377 - Anti-Vaxxers . . . . . That This Might Even Remotely Accurately Assess The Current State Of Some Reactions Is Deeply Saddening
Lesson #2376 - Hogs . . . . . Riverhogs Are Just Otters, Let's Be Honest
Lesson #2375 - Owls . . . . . 'Cause It's Hoot, Hoot, Hoot For The Home Team
Lesson #2374 - Vinegar and More . . . . . Be Very Careful With What You Put On Your Salad
Lesson #2373 - Vaccines . . . . . Who Could Have Vacseen This Coming?
Lesson #2372 - Complacency . . . . . To Be Fair, You're Reading The Site Of An Idiot Who's Been Posing Similarly For 2372 Comics Now And Somehow Decided This Set Up Was "Good Enough", Talk About Complacency
Lesson #2371 - Personal Understanding . . . . . Let The Waves Of Uncomfortability Wash Over You

Lesson #2370 - Idiocy . . . . . One Man's Moderation Is Another Man's Idiocy Poisoning
Lesson #2369 - Alternative Hunting . . . . . "There's Blood On Your Car's Bumper!" "No, No, That's Leftovers I'm Saving For Later"
Lesson #2368 - Choosing Your Baby's Gender . . . . . Maybe We'll Name Our Daughter "Hero". What? No? Okay, That's Been Shot Down Like All My Other Suggestions
Lesson #2367 - Snowflakes . . . . . That's A Lot Of Zeroes.
Lesson #2366 - Insane Math . . . . . I Would Hate To See My Psych Profile
Lesson #2365 - Discovery . . . . . Science Is An Adventure And Would Be Even More So If Science Gave Me Gills, Get On It Already Scientists
Lesson #2364 - Discreetion . . . . . This Goes Out To The Professor I Had For One Semester At Conn College While I Was In High School, I Can't Remember Anything You Taught Me But I Remembered Enjoying It, So Thanks
Lesson #2363 - Definitions, Part XXV . . . . . It's All The Chalkdust That Has Settled Into My Brain Wrinkles, I Have Nothing But My Medium To Blame For My Brainlessness
Lesson #2362 - States of Being . . . . . I May Not Understand Science But I Don't Really Understand My Children Either
Lesson #2361 - Job Hunting . . . . . Unless We Are Talking About A Man Named Job, Like From The Bible? Wow, We Are One Seriously Dark Society

Lesson #2360 - The Tin Man . . . . . Why Yes I Have A Silver Axe In My Basement, What Of It
Lesson #2359 - Burning Passions . . . . . We're A Match! Get It?
Lesson #2358 - Confidence . . . . . I Am Confident That Most Of These Comics Are Terrible, That I Have Great Confidence In
Lesson #2357 - Offense . . . . . This Outrage Is Outrageous
Lesson #2356 - Hell . . . . . Hell Is For Children Or At Least People Who Act Like It On The Internet
Lesson #2355 - The Math Of Teaching . . . . . How Much Should You Pay A Public-School Parent? That's The Question, I Guess
Lesson #2354 - Pet Names . . . . . There's Some Relationship Between Spoiled And Loved, But That's A Lesson For Another Day
Lesson #2353 - Creeping People Out, Part XX . . . . . XX Is Kind Of Forboding In Itself. Less So Than XXX. That Just Means Porn And Rum.
Lesson #2352 - End Parties . . . . . Fruit Flies Celebrate Every Second's End, But They Don't Really Make It Much Farther, Anyway
Lesson #2351 - Power . . . . . Whether Or Not You Agree With The Tone Of Their Cartoons Is Somewhat Beside The Point. They Are Not Retroactively Justified. They Did Not Make The People Responsible For Their Own Deaths, Either - And That's Part Of The Bigger Point. Onwards, As Always.

Lesson #2350 - Half-Self-Control . . . . . I Could Use Some Fixing Up Myself
Lesson #2349 - Award Acceptances . . . . . "No, Really, You Guys Are Terrible"
Lesson #2348 - Dream Life . . . . . Just Devour Me Now, Machines, I'm Going To Get Stuck In Your Gears, Anyway
Lesson #2347 - Socks . . . . . It's Like Reverse Mitosis
Lesson #2346 - Straw . . . . . Their Reasons Are Needles In Their Hay
Lesson #2345 - Time To Check . . . . . Preparation Saving Throw, Every Single Time
Lesson #2344 - New Year Frequency . . . . . A Twelve-Year-Old Would Be 144. That's Kind Of Cool. How Would We Ever Figure Out Birthday Presents, Though . . .
Lesson #2343 - Confluence . . . . . Be Careful Not To Cross The Years, We'll All Explode
Lesson #2342 - Kids . . . . . I Think The Announcement Is Forty Times Better Than The Comic. Oh Well. Who Wants To Go For A Roll In The Hay? Roll, Roll, Roll In The Hay
Lesson #2341 - Horns . . . . . Or Something Like That

Lesson #2340 - Entropy Exaltation . . . . . Entropy Is Just Another Name For The Devil, Really
Lesson #2339 - Puppies . . . . . Actually That Term Makes Certain Slang Terms For Certain Privates Make Even More Sense Now
Lesson #2338 - Santa vs. Krampus . . . . . A Battle Royale For The Ages! Now On Pay Per View
Lesson #2337 - Christmas Trees . . . . . Becoming Slowly More And More Concentrated In Cat
Lesson #2336 - Twelve Days of Christmas . . . . . The 40 Gold Rings Are Kind Of Nice, Though
Lesson #2335 - Group Eating . . . . . Possibly A Few More Cuss Words At One Table Than The Other
Lesson #2334 - Snowman Anatomy . . . . . The Leaves Are The Central Nervous System, Maybe, I Don't Know
Lesson #2333 - Seasonal Music Onslaught . . . . . And Somehow Magneto Is Involved
Lesson #2332 - Worshipping Coffee . . . . . I Can't Be Held Responsible For Those Murders, My Lack Of Coffee Told Me To Do It
Lesson #2331 - Gift Packaging . . . . . It's The Thought That Counts And The Thinking Was Terrible, Why Did You Do This To Me

Lesson #2330 - Science of Alcoholic Desserts . . . . . It's Rumball Season, I Think Is My Point
Lesson #2329 - Dietary Instructions . . . . . It's Nothing To Grape About, I Guess
Lesson #2328 - Effects of Testosterone . . . . . Scientific Conclusions Are Fun When You Make Wild Conclusions
Lesson #2327 - Academia . . . . . "Teaching" - The One Word That Very Few People Associate With Academia Except For Those Who Are Paying For It
Lesson #2326 - Spicy Food . . . . . Those Were Most Definitely Not Tears Of Joy
Lesson #2325 - Christmas Songs, Part III . . . . . And We Haven't Even Gotten To Batman Smelling, Yet
Lesson #2324 - Christmas Crimes . . . . . I Regret I Have But One Life To Give For This Christmas
Lesson #2323 - Deciphering Santa . . . . . Blizten Upside Down Is A Highly Offensive Curse Word In Reindeeregian
Lesson #2322 - Exam Taking . . . . . The Final Exam Is Schrodinger's Cat
Lesson #2321 - Your Actions . . . . . Let's Not Talk About This Ever Again, Again

Lesson #2320 - Storytelling . . . . . The Ends
Lesson #2319 - Scientist's Block . . . . . I Suffer From This Twice A Day And Thrice A Day On A Weekday
Lesson #2318 - Santa and Cookies . . . . . He Dyes His Hair Blue And We Just Tell Ourselves There's A Difference
Lesson #2317 - Secret Ingredients . . . . . SPIKE ALL THE THINGS
Lesson #2316 - Creative Premise . . . . . I Wanted To Work In A "Series 7" Reference But Figured No One Would Get It
Lesson #2315 - Christmas Songs, Part II . . . . . The New Version Is Offensive And Terrible, From What I've Been Told
Lesson #2314 - Christmas Songs, Part I . . . . . Do You Pyrokinesis What I Pyrokinesis
Lesson #2313 - Intelligence . . . . . The Three-Lobed Man Is A God
Lesson #2312 - Leftovers . . . . . Nom Begat Nom Begat Nom Begat Nom Begat Nom Begat Nom
Lesson #2311 - Beautiful World . . . . . Hypothermia Sounds Better Than It Feels

Lesson #2310 - Colorful Traditions . . . . . Cyber Monday, When We All Get Bionic Eye Implants
Lesson #2309 - Turkey Tales . . . . . Poultrygeist, If You Will
Lesson #2308 - Curveballs . . . . . Knuckleballs To Get You To Knuckle Under, Change-ups To See If You Can Handle A Change Of Pace, Cutters Because It's Fun To Throw Knives At People
Lesson #2307 - Perspective, Or Lack Thereof . . . . . Can't Imagine Only Looking And Seeing The Top. What A Precarious Position To Put Yourself In
Lesson #2306 - Overheard . . . . . This Feels Like A Series In The Making
Lesson #2305 - House Plants . . . . . Cat, 15, Plants, 0
Lesson #2304 - Rivalry Games . . . . . I Feel Like I Made A Comic Exactly Like This Before, Probably Not A Good Sign
Lesson #2303 - Emperors . . . . . I Know What Two You Picked And Yes I Agree You're Hilarious, Just Oh So Hilarious
Lesson #2302 - Insanity, Of Sorts . . . . . Also Searching For The Meaning Of Life. And Coding. Sometimes.
Lesson #2301 - The States, Part VI . . . . . Also There's A Disturbing Number Of Waffles Down Here

Lesson #2300 - Authority . . . . . "Who Gave Me This And Why, It Doesn't Make Any Sense And I Barely Know What To With It"
Lesson #2299 - Drunk . . . . . I'm Not Actually Drunk Making This, I'm Just Trying To Find A Balance Between Making Something Funny And Being How Creeped Out I Am Listening To This Mansion Story
Lesson #2298 - Fears . . . . . I'm Also Highly Unnerved By Spiral Staircases, Although That May Be Something Else At Work
Lesson #2297 - Hotel Rooms . . . . . Exfoliating On A New Level
Lesson #2296 - Special Ingredients . . . . . Why Is This Pot Roast Making Me Feel Even More Hungry
Lesson #2295 - Limitations . . . . . Screw You, Physics, What Have You Ever Done For Me Besides Help Me Survive
Lesson #2294 - Shooting For The Stars . . . . . Federate Before You Launch War On The Zorgons
Lesson #2293 - Credibility . . . . . No, Really, I Swear It
Lesson #2292 - Brain Biology . . . . . Just Stab Me With An Icepick Already
Lesson #2291 - Food Composition . . . . . I Don't Know Who To Trust Anymore

Lesson #2290 - Cat Schemes . . . . . IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR IT
Lesson #2289 - Butterflies . . . . . OH GOD THEY'RE TRYING TO MIGRATE
Lesson #2288 - Interesting . . . . . Stupid Apocryphal Chinese Curse, You're To Blame For My Cable Channels?
Lesson #2287 - Hanged Men . . . . . I'd Laugh But I'm Struggling To Breathe
Lesson #2286 - Voting Dilemma . . . . . My Brain Is Convinced You Spell Dilemma With An N, I Have No Idea Why
Lesson #2285 - Fire Drills . . . . . Stupid Protection System, You Have Ulterior Motives, Don't You
Lesson #2284 - Daylight Savings . . . . . What's The Return On Investment For Daylight? What's The Interest Rate At These Days?
Lesson #2283 - Holiday Wars . . . . . The End Of The Year Seems Highly Desirable For Holidays, These Days Must Have Oil, Let Me Drill Into The Calendar And See
Lesson #2282 - Haunted . . . . . Ghosts, Marching About Our Memories, Memories Themselves
Lesson #2281 - Truly Haunted . . . . . Horrors Of The Worst Kind

Lesson #2280 - Modern Witches . . . . . Sandwichcraft Is Delicious
Lesson #2279 - Halloween Chants . . . . . Smell My Feet, Get Your Nose Really In There Between The Toes, I Left A Lot Of Nice Fuzz For You, Give Me Something Good To Eat
Lesson #2278 - Halloween Haters . . . . . I Make Sure The Newts Get A Love Potion In Exchange For Their Vision, Though, So They've Got That Going For Them, Which Is Nice
Lesson #2277 - Generating Horror . . . . . Geese ARE Mean, Though
Lesson #2276 - Ghost Particles . . . . . Ghost Model Of The Atom, As Explained By Ghost Scientists
Lesson #2275 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part VI . . . . . So Abstract You're Never Actually At The Party
Lesson #2274 - Frogs . . . . . Harry Potter Was A Cloakhead
Lesson #2273 - Clouds . . . . . Canaries (And Other Birds) (And Planes) In The Cloud Mines
Lesson #2272 - New Scientists, Part IV . . . . . And Conservation Of Energy? Hah!
Lesson #2271 - Why . . . . . "Why" "Well, Because The Knee Bones IS Connected To The Thigh Bone" "Why" "Well, Because The Thigh Bone IS Connected To The Hip Bone"

Lesson #2270 - Beer Brewing . . . . . Pour Me Another, Barkeep, What The Hell
Lesson #2269 - Ebola . . . . . I Look Forward To The False Interpretation Of This Comic That Ebola Will Lead To The X-Men
Lesson #2268 - Tough Dads . . . . . My Dad Has Been Known To Smite A Few Dreams, I Guess, But Those Kids Were Going To Fail That Math Class Anyway
Lesson #2267 - Crosshatch . . . . . Also Known As A Punch Mark Apparently? I Only Get Bruises On My Skin, Perhaps I Should See A Doctor
Lesson #2266 - Two Sides . . . . . One Conclusion, Not Necessarily The Same Conclusion
Lesson #2265 - Apropos . . . . . I Wish People Would Stop Dropping Their Side In Disgust And Leave Me To Carry It On My Own, Of Course
Lesson #2264 - Warmth . . . . . That's What I Get For Mooning The Fire
Lesson #2263 - Hatchets . . . . . Careful, I Have To Take My Skin Outside To Chop Some Wood
Lesson #2262 - Trees In Autumn . . . . . And Then They're Naked Because They're Exhibitionists At Heart
Lesson #2261 - Success . . . . . You Can Make Your Own Luck But It's Easier If It Comes Along And Gives Itself To You

Lesson #2260 - Mono . . . . . Circle Circle Rhombus Rhombus Now There's No One Who Would Want Us
Lesson #2259 - Results of Stress . . . . . The Skin's Too Cowardly To Fight Stress, It's Just Yellow, Oh Wait That's Jaundice
Lesson #2258 - Special Items . . . . . There's Enough Wounds To Go Around, Just Go Get A Knife So We Can Share
Lesson #2257 - Methods . . . . . Was There Proper Funding For This Set Of Data?
Lesson #2256 - Good Teleporters . . . . . Pages Of Teenage Angst Suddenly Allowing For An Instantaneous Trip Across The Stars
Lesson #2255 - Rooting Interests . . . . . Based On My Daughter Trying To Decide Between Giants And The Red Team
Lesson #2254 - Trespassing . . . . . The Big Nails, Show Me The Big Nails
Lesson #2253 - Perspectives . . . . . Ghosts Wouldn't Be So Bad If They Would Stop Rattling My Chains So Much
Lesson #2252 - Empathy . . . . . Why Is There So Much Blood Why Why Why
Lesson #2251 - Life Acrobatics . . . . . Hence "Wearing Thin" Is Really A Reference To Being A Net, Did You Know That, No, Well Now You Know Etymology, Good For You

Lesson #2250 - Glorious Coffee . . . . . Glory Glory Hallelujah
Lesson #2249 - Young Professionals, Part II . . . . . Michaelangelo Would Have Used Playdoh If It Was An Option
Lesson #2248 - Naps . . . . . Although, Now, I Could Use One
Lesson #2247 - Fruit . . . . . Yes, I'll Order The Apple Crisp For Dessert, No, Waiter, Stop Giving Me That Look
Lesson #2246 - Back In The Day And Today . . . . . Backs In The Day, A Coffee Table Picture Book Of Hairy Backs Throughout History
Lesson #2245 - Scientific Method . . . . . Priorities, Priorities, Schmiorities
Lesson #2244 - Minimal Time . . . . . At Least I Didn't Strangle Anyone Today
Lesson #2243 - Chef's Special . . . . . "Special"
Lesson #2242 - Revenge . . . . . Revenge Is A Thing Of Yogurt
Lesson #2241 - Beers . . . . . Barkeep, Another Round, Oh, I See, I'm In My Own Home, Hmmmm, Make That Two, Then
Lesson #2240 - Outcomes . . . . . A Bostonian Pirate Is Known To Say AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lesson #2239 - Outcomes . . . . . Oh Dear We Have Been Lit Aflame By The Smoldering Wreckage, Too, Well, Hopefully We Will Still Learn Something From AHHHHHHH I'M ON FIRE
Lesson #2238 - Recipes . . . . . I'm Making Meatloaf, Pass Me The Octopus
Lesson #2237 - Hearts . . . . . No Sleeveless Shirts Allowed
Lesson #2236 - Sign Language, Part III . . . . . I Don't Question, I Just Signal Back, Yes, I'll Get Off The Dance Floor And Leave You Alone Now
Lesson #2235 - Walking In Groups . . . . . Scorn A Moving Wall That Is Advancing On You, Sure, That Seems Likely When You're Drunk, But Then Most Probabilities Are Out Of Whack When You're Drunk
Lesson #2234 - Young Professionals, Part I . . . . . I Really Hope I Can Get In On The Ground Floor Of This Building
Lesson #2233 - Paper . . . . . Like Trees Are Good For Anything, Anyway
Lesson #2232 - Secrets . . . . . You Know What They Say, Two People Can Keep Them If One Of Them Is A Potato
Lesson #2231 - Disgusting Excuses . . . . . And It's Still Not Speaking To Me, Alas

Lesson #2230 - Feminists . . . . . What A Pity, Tsk Tsk, Oh Well, Someone Make Me A Sandwich
Lesson #2229 - Answering Why . . . . . Why, Yes, I Will Embrace This Stereotype
Lesson #2228 - Cool Cars . . . . . Or At Least I Need To Hook Up A Giant Ladder And Siren To My Pickup Truck, That Seems Doable
Lesson #2227 - Weightlifting . . . . . A Shared Mantra, Perhaps
Lesson #2226 - Apples . . . . . How Do I Like Them Apples? I Do Not, I Do Not Like Them Apples, Sam-I-Trapples
Lesson #2225 - Low-Fat . . . . . Yeah, This Whole Box Can Totally Fit In My Gullet
Lesson #2224 - Career Enjoyment . . . . . I Used To Hug Students' Skulls To Try To Let My Joy Absorb Them Into My Body But The Department Asked Me To Stop Doing That
Lesson #2223 - Learning . . . . . Let's Ignore That Everything Including Us Has Been Burnt To A Crisp, What Did You Learn From This Experience?
Lesson #2222 - Reactions . . . . . People Are The Worst
Lesson #2221 - Barbecues . . . . . Don't Bring Kids And You Can Annex Territory, Bring Kids And You're Essentially Colonizing Parts Of The Lawn

Lesson #2220 - Potato Salad . . . . . Potato Salad Is The Best Salad, And The Exception That You CAN Make Friends With Salad
Lesson #2219 - Power Lines . . . . . Human Squirrels, A Bad TMNT Spin-Off
Lesson #2218 - School, Part II . . . . . Wait A Minute, HEY, STUDENTS, Get Out Of There
Lesson #2217 - School, Part I . . . . . College Students Also Drinking To Celebrate, For That Matter
Lesson #2216 - Guns, Part II . . . . . I Don't Think This One Will Make People Happy Either, Oh Well
Lesson #2215 - Peanuts . . . . . Get Your Red Hot Legumes Here
Lesson #2214 - Wastewater . . . . . Have A Lovely Sunday
Lesson #2213 - Overreactions . . . . . Something Like That, Maybe, I Don't Know
Lesson #2212 - Bad Vegetables . . . . . On An Accidental Vegetable Kick, Apparently
Lesson #2211 - Giant Vegetables . . . . . I Don't Think Monty Python Ever Covered This In Their Self-Defense Class On Fruits, Unfortunately

Lesson #2210 - Garbage . . . . . We Are Truly Monstrous Creatures
Lesson #2209 - Construction . . . . . It's Like The Ark, DON'T LOOK, YOUR FACE WILL MELT
Lesson #2208 - Justification . . . . . Everyone's A Little Crazy, It Seems, Unfortunately.
Lesson #2207 - New Pets . . . . . Where Is He Now? He's Taking A Nice Warm Bath. Pinchy. PINCHY!
Lesson #2206 - Plant Sagas . . . . . I Admit My Weirdness
Lesson #2205 - French . . . . . Hoh Hoh Hoh
Lesson #2204 - Reality . . . . . Horrified, And Somewhat Ashamed That I Am So Horrified
Lesson #2203 - Life Maps . . . . . Rest In Peace, Way Too Many
Lesson #2202 - Oysters . . . . . Biology Is Weird
Lesson #2201 - Bread . . . . . Things I've Learned About Somehow, Someway

Lesson #2200 - Travels . . . . . Now We're Just Getting Into The Stupid Lesson Numbers, I Mean, 2200 Isn't Even A Real Number. You Realize We're Less Than A Year From 2500? This Is Just Getting Ridiculous
Lesson #2199 - Seasons . . . . . Wanted A More Bizarre Animal For Autumn, But Squirrels Fit In With A Harvest Motif, And That's What Martha Recommended I Go With, And Who Am I To Go Against Martha
Lesson #2198 - College Education . . . . . Much More Fun To Play This Game With Intangible Concepts Than The Somewhat Sexist Way, I Think, But Maybe That's Just Me
Lesson #2197 - War Tactics . . . . . Generals Always Too Happy To Bring Home The Bacon
Lesson #2196 - Giraffes . . . . . You Can't Answer THAT, Huh? Got You, Nerd
Lesson #2195 - Some Days . . . . . Hold On, Hold On, Give Me A Week, I'll Get This
Lesson #2194 - Bad Ideas . . . . . I Tried To Go Back And Figure Out Where This One Fell Apart, But I Got Bored Trying To Do So, So Here You Go With What's Here
Lesson #2193 - Plant Fertilization . . . . . Where Does The Stamen Go
Lesson #2192 - Hope . . . . . The Worst And Best And Worst Emotion
Lesson #2191 - Daily Science . . . . . I'm Just Doing Chemical Science, I Swear, Officer, Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

Lesson #2190 - Sports . . . . . Sigh. Heh.
Lesson #2189 - Every Summer . . . . . Drop The Cuke. I Mean, Don't Grow Anymore! That's All I Meant!
Lesson #2188 - Great Literature, Part I . . . . . Certain Supposed Greats Will Not Be A Part Of This Series, But One Reader Criticized Me On Twitter Last Night For Saying That I Hated A Book, So I Will Avoid From Further Describing Any Of These Supposed Greats Because I Would Not Want To Risk Offending Or Upsetting Anyone By Saying That I Don't Like A Book, Because Obviously We Are Not Allowed To Mention That We Dislike Anything Anymore These Days, You Know
Lesson #2187 - Rome . . . . . Sayings Are Weird
Lesson #2186 - Role Models . . . . . Sometimes I Sense Him Just Floating Around Me And I Can Channel Him Through Myself, It's A Little Like Getting High And Being Possessed Without The Drugs Or Demons
Lesson #2185 - Forever . . . . . I'm Not Rich Enough To Crystallize My Shame, It Just Floats Around In The Ether
Lesson #2184 - Non-Superpowers . . . . . My Spandexed Brain Likes To Show A Lot Of Wrinkles Because It Needs To Be Objectified, Or So The Creator Tells Me
Lesson #2183 - Great Scientists, Part II . . . . . I'm Thoughts, You're Thoughts, We're All Thoughts, And Therefore We Am, Or Something
Lesson #2182 - Sand . . . . . Careful Of The Riptide, You Never Expect It In Your Backyard
Lesson #2181 - Speech . . . . . I Support Your Right To Say Asshole And Thus Be An Asshole, Good Sir

Lesson #2180 - Great Scientists, Part I . . . . . C'Mere, I've Got Something I Want To Show You, That's Right, Close The Door, And Look! Amazing! Why Are You Disappointed?
Lesson #2179 - Definitions, Part XXIV . . . . . My Child Is Doomed
Lesson #2178 - Love Is Easy . . . . . Never Go To Bed Angry That A Cat Is Already In Your Spot
Lesson #2177 - Brains . . . . . Your Brain Needs An Intervention With Itself, Man
Lesson #2176 - Dangerous Vegetables . . . . . Vegetables Are Weapons Of Mass Destruction, Don't Let Governments Drop The Cuke
Lesson #2175 - Spirits . . . . . You've Heard Of Soul Food, Why Not Spirit Liquids
Lesson #2174 - Daily Ghosts . . . . . "Ghost In The Synapse", There's A Good Indie Movie Title In There Somewhere
Lesson #2173 - Piano Bars . . . . . Billy Joel Is Secretly An Evil Druid And Pianos Are His Hellmouth, Or Something. Either That Or "Piano Man" Is One Long Cry For Help And For An Exorcism
Lesson #2172 - Athletic Cruelty . . . . . Don't Even Get Me Started On The Production Of Toothbrushes
Lesson #2171 - Poor Adjectives . . . . . Stop It Already

Lesson #2170 - Time Traveling, Part V . . . . . Onwards In Whichever Direction Time Takes Us
Lesson #2169 - Time Traveling, Part IV . . . . . Younger Self, Or Hitler? Younger Self, Or Hitler?
Lesson #2168 - Time Traveling, Part III . . . . . Oops
Lesson #2167 - Time Traveling, Part II . . . . . There's An Apparent Limit On How Far Back You Personally Can Go, I Guess
Lesson #2166 - Time Traveling, Part I . . . . . What A Journey From The Past It Has Been, My Main Complaint With This Time Traveling Device They Call The Human Body Is That It Just Takes So Long To Get From Point A To Point B
Lesson #2165 - Butts . . . . . Guess What
Lesson #2164 - Driving . . . . . Remember, One Pedal For Each Foot!
Lesson #2163 - Fireworks, Part III . . . . . Some Fireworks Are Like Those Trick Candles, They Never Go Out, Just Keep Spiraling On And On
Lesson #2162 - Brains . . . . . Zombies Are Known To Eat One Hundred Percent Of Brains
Lesson #2161 - Feelings . . . . . Once More, With Feeling, GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lesson #2160 - Freedom . . . . . In Soviet Russia, Freedom Freedoms YOU!
Lesson #2159 - Perspectives . . . . . Good Times AHHHHHHHHH Those Were Good Times
Lesson #2158 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part XII . . . . . And Don't Even Get Me Started On Jelly
Lesson #2157 - Goons . . . . . Friendly But Lovable Goons, Just Don't Trust Them To Do Your Bidding Perfectly
Lesson #2156 - Science and Kids . . . . . Lesions Are Usually A Sign
Lesson #2155 - Luck, Elsewhere . . . . . Never Mind Lizard People, We Know What Their Luck Symbol Is
Lesson #2154 - Subtlety . . . . . Do Your Drinks Like To Have A Go? Know What I Mean Know What I Mean Wink Wink Nudge Nudge Say No More Say No More
Lesson #2153 - Laws . . . . . The Other Neighbors Have A Pool But They Can Keep That, That's Too Much Work
Lesson #2152 - Tickling . . . . . MOO-HAH-HAH
Lesson #2151 - Coffee Names . . . . . Decaf Horace, Horace Cake

Lesson #2150 - Apples . . . . . AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PINEAPPLES
Lesson #2149 - Guns . . . . . How Many Back Burners Are There?
Lesson #2148 - Body Modification . . . . . In Your Face, Parents Oh Wait I Am One Now This Is What I'm Going To Have To Deal With, Huh, Nuts
Lesson #2147 - Diseases . . . . . Oh Man NOT AGAIN
Lesson #2146 - Adventures . . . . . I've Never Had To Explain To theSwede Why I Was Chasing The Cats With An Axe, Either. Another Adventure!
Lesson #2145 - Surviving The World Cup . . . . . AND THE PENGUINS WIN! YOU COULD NOT WRITE A SCRIPT LIKE THIS
Lesson #2144 - Paternal Instincts . . . . . So Many Roles To Play, All For You
Lesson #2143 - Barbecue . . . . . "Beer Isn't A Food" "Shut Up, You"
Lesson #2142 - Babies . . . . . "How Good Are You At Crawling In A Straight Line, Kid?"
Lesson #2141 - World Cup Ineptitude . . . . . Fingers, Toes, Eyes And Tongue Crossed

Lesson #2140 - Bunnies . . . . . What's With All Those Space Carrots, What Does It Need Such Good Eyesight For Anyway
Lesson #2139 - Human Geology . . . . . New Meaning To Saying Someone Got Stoned, Too
Lesson #2138 - Cheeses . . . . . Information Is Not Always A Good Thing
Lesson #2137 - Other Gospels . . . . . Come Follow Me As We Stumble As One Into This Wall Here And Pass Out
Lesson #2136 - Breakfast Options . . . . . I Need To Stay Out Of The Kitchen
Lesson #2135 - Questionable Observances . . . . . Who In Hark Gets The Power To Make Such Declarations, Anyway? Is It Congress? It's Congress, Isn't It? This Explains A Lot
Lesson #2134 - Man Vs. Nature . . . . . YOU'RE NEXT, CLOUDS!
Lesson #2133 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part III . . . . . If You're Interested, Read Up On The Guy Who Went Undercover To Find Out About The Priests' Actions
Lesson #2132 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part II . . . . . Do The Norse Gods Like Mustard? Just Thinking That They'd Probably Eat A Lot Of Hot Dogs In Valhalla
Lesson #2131 - Lesser-Known Gods, Part I . . . . . Excuse Me Sir, I Saw You Didn't Mix Water Into Your Wine Glass, So I'm Sorry, But We Don't Serve Barbarians Here, I'm Afraid You'll Have To Leave, Yes, Sir, I Can See You're Wearing A Black Tie But We Have Our Standards, Now Out, Out With You, Out Out Out

Lesson #2130 - Complete Attire . . . . . The Point Is, I Shouldn't HAVE To Be Walking Next To A Child To Get Away With Wearing The Cape
Lesson #2129 - Anniversary, Part VI . . . . . I'm Not Sure We Can Call This STW-Thing Just A Phase I'm Going Through Anymore
Lesson #2128 - Caring About Sports . . . . . Or Movies, Or Television, Or Serial Cave Paintings, Or Whatever
Lesson #2127 - Bravery . . . . . Must Just Get Sucked Out Of You As You Keep Moving Up In The World, Like They Attach Lampreys Or Something
Student Presentation #21 - Job Satisfaction . . . . .
Student Presentation #20 - Breastfeeding . . . . .
Student Presentation #19 - College Time . . . . .
Lesson #2126 - Alcoholic Science . . . . . Before You Say, "No One Would Ever Use This", Remember, Powdered Coffee And Powdered Milk Exist, Too, And Even If They're Terrible, There's Still Someone Who Uses It
Lesson #2125 - Inequality . . . . . A Solution To All The World's Problems And A Boon To All The Terrible Fashion Styles Out There
Lesson #2124 - Fortune Telling . . . . . Well, This Parrot Appears To Have Been Nailed To The Bar Inside Its Cage, It Appears You Are About To Be Bleeding Demised And No More
Lesson #2123 - Cat Activity . . . . . Little Cats, Little Cats Of Horror, Bop-Sh-Bat, Little Cats Of Terror, No, Oh, Oh, No-Oh
Lesson #2122 - Love Lines and Sinkers . . . . . What Type Of Fish Is Your Significant Other Into? Clearly I'm Into Swedish, That Just Seems Obvious
Lesson #2121 - Gay Marriage Effects . . . . . When Gays Were Called Fruit With Derogatory Intent, Which Fruit Was Being Implied? A Banana? An Apple? A Grapefruit? I'm Not Exactly Sure How Being Compared To A Grapefruit Is Derogatory, Unless It Means That It Is Really Obnoxious And Annoying To Peel The Skin From Your Body And Inside You Have A Delightful Sour Flavor

Lesson #2120 - Swans . . . . . Man, They Keep Bringing Swans Into King Edward's Castle, He Must Really Want To Take Care Of The Swans In Person
Lesson #2119 - Yardwork, Part II . . . . . Listen Closely, You Hear The Plants Scream
Lesson #2118 - Ghosts, Part II . . . . . Sometimes I Shout Boo While In The Bathroom Just To Press The Point, theSwede Thinks I'm Very Strange
Lesson #2117 - Suggested Names: Horses . . . . . Horse Out Of Office?
Lesson #2116 - Good Parenting . . . . . That Elephant Thing Has Shaved Minutes Off My Life
Lesson #2115 - Fish . . . . . Oh, No, I Always Say "Blub Blub" Right Before Kissing, I Don't Know Why, It's Just What I Do
Lesson #2114 - Biblical Animals . . . . . Ass Is Okay To Say In Public, It's Mentioned In The Bible A Lot
Lesson #2113 - Coffee . . . . . I'll Take A 5th Avenue Coffee, Please, And No, I Don't Mean One From 5th Avenue
Lesson #2112 - Mothers Know Best . . . . . Some Call It A Fetish, Some Call It Friday Night
Lesson #2111 - Toddlers . . . . . Anyway, I'm Off To Build Another Block Tower

Lesson #2110 - Common Idiocy . . . . . Embrace That Village Idiot That We Each Have Roaming About In Our Heads, Just Don't Let It Take Over
Lesson #2109 - Divergent Paths . . . . . And That's Another One That The Bears Have . . . Frosted (YEAHHHHHHH)
Lesson #2108 - Suggested Names: Pizza Joints . . . . . The Hair Pizza? Actually, That's DEFINITELY Terrible
Lesson #2107 - Mowing . . . . . Take That, Grass! And That! And That And That And That And That!
Lesson #2106 - The Cosmos . . . . . Shoot For The Moon, If You Miss, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lesson #2105 - Manufacturing Creativity . . . . . The Soap Is Right There, But I Can Never Reach It, No Matter How Much I Try, What Kind Of Infernal Shower Is This
Lesson #2104 - Definitions, Part XXIII . . . . . Also A Role On Some Pundit Shows That The Producers Need To Fill
Lesson #2103 - Education For Seniors . . . . . What's On The Other Side Of Your Transition? Oh? It's Just One Big Party? Okay Then. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #2102 - Education For Juniors . . . . . Hey, If You Summit Every Peak, Great For You, That Just Isn't Always The Necessary Path, Plus That's How You Run Into Yetis
Lesson #2101 - Education For Sophomores . . . . . Anyone Claiming A Food Allergy At The Knowledge Buffet Is A Little Lazy. C'mon, Get Those Neuron Teeth A-Chompin'!

Lesson #2100 - Education For Freshmen . . . . . Who Needs To Be Crowned In Gold When Paper Mache Is At The Ready
Lesson #2099 - Shower Thoughts . . . . . How Does Soap Get In Your Brain? Hey, If You're Not Awake Enough, It's Actually Very Easy
Lesson #2098 - Yardwork . . . . . "Whyyyyyy", The Voice Rattled From Inside The Leaf Bag. "Whyyyyyyyyy"
Lesson #2097 - Party Guests . . . . . No, I'm Not Sure How I Got The Invitation, Either
Lesson #2096 - New Cocktails . . . . . An Ocean Full Of Terrible Cocktail Ideas And Wait We Should Mix Sea Water Into This!
Lesson #2095 - The Pursuit . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lesson #2094 - Hard Exams . . . . . 6th Dimension, Well, Now You Need To Account For Other Physics
Lesson #2093 - Philosophy . . . . . Let's Just All Embrace The Happy That Is The Tao Of Dog
Lesson #2092 - Next Steps . . . . . May You Best Every Personal Record, And Go About Discovering What Other PRs You Can Set
Lesson #2091 - Other Easters . . . . . Some Have Ham, Some Have Whatever You Catch And Eat It Raw

Lesson #2090 - Jesus . . . . . It Has A Very Earthy Aroma, And I Detect Notes Of Hemoglobin, I Think?
Lesson #2089 - Children's Entertainment . . . . . In My Childhood Self's Defense, The Ninja Turtles Were Awesome
Lesson #2088 - Love . . .? . . . . . Not From Personal Experience, Of Course, Ahem, I Mean, Ahem
Lesson #2087 - Sleeping . . . . . Yargle, Or Something
Lesson #2086 - Government and You . . . . . Democratic Banana Republic: Actually, Pretty Close To Democratic Feudalism
Lesson #2085 - Nonsense, Part II . . . . . Oh, I'm Not Speaking Gibberish Or Having A Stroke, I'm Embracing Language. What Do You Have Against Language? You Monster
Lesson #2084 - Attention . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE ME No Wait Never Mind Look Away
Lesson #2083 - Vegetables . . . . . Lettuce Have A Pretty Good Head About Them, Too
Lesson #2082 - Suggested Names: Barbecues . . . . . Many Of These Also Work Well For A Butcher Shop, Too
Lesson #2081 - Equality, Apparently . . . . . It's The Uphill Climb That's The Effort, It's Easy To Ride Downhill

Lesson #2080 - You Are Special . . . . . Oops
Lesson #2079 - Rooting For The Home Team . . . . . College Sports, The Great Ethical Mess, Unless You Don't Have A Pro Team Nearby To Support In Which Case WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #2078 - Life Goals . . . . . Pass The Cake? Hurray, Another Life Goal Accomplished!
Lesson #2077 - Relatives . . . . . Making Your Family Tree Strong And Branched And Uprooted
Lesson #2076 - Pet Affinities . . . . . "My Parents Got So Frustrated That I Couldn't Decide That They Just Thrust An Iguana Into My Arms, I Never Forgave Them"
Lesson #2075 - Paradoxes . . . . . Did I List These Partly Just To Piss Off People Who Recognize Them As Not Paradoxes? I Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny. Hey, Another Paradox!
Lesson #2074 - Rock Paper Scissors . . . . . Two Rocks May Beat A Paper, Though; Multicomponent Rules Are A Little Bit Trickier
Lesson #2073 - Infinite Loves . . . . . I'll Try Not To Break Your Heart Like I Already Have An Infinite Number Of Times, Although When You Put It That Way, I Probably Should Just Go Away
Lesson #2072 - Pranks . . . . . Psychological Torture Is Far More Fun
Lesson #2071 - Thanks . . . . . Doofy Smiles All Around

Guest Lecture #30 - Dante's Sister
Lesson #2070 - The States, Part V . . . . . Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lesson #2069 - Flying . . . . . The Pilot Is The Lord Of The Flying, In More Ways Than One
Lesson #2068 - The Near Future . . . . . And Around And Around And Around We Go
Lesson #2067 - Idiocy, Part II . . . . . If You Can't Write A Book On The Subject, You Probably Have Amnesia
Lesson #2066 - Solving Problems . . . . . Yes, Problems ARE Difficult Until You Learn How To Solve Them, Funny How That Works
Lesson #2065 - Science Fiction . . . . . Heeeeeeeere, Cyborgs Cyborgs Cyborgs
Lesson #2064 - Religious Humor . . . . . Jesus And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bar, The Bar Only Has Water, Jesus Says "Don't Worry, I Got This"
Lesson #2063 - Crazy Exes . . . . . Both Krampus And Your Crazy Ex, Both Disturbingly Horny
Lesson #2062 - Legacies . . . . . Anyway, Anyone Up For Hanging Out? Offer Is Open To Everyone
Lesson #2061 - Fallacies (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . Q.E.D. Or Probably Not

Lesson #2060 - Body Image (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . And I Don't Fit Into That Sexy Little Black Number, Either, No Matter How Much I Try
Lesson #2059 - Time (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . All A Matter Of Perspective, I Guess, That And Jiggawatts
Lesson #2058 - Irish History (Bracket Week VI) . . . . . Asking For It For Posting This One, Probably
Lesson #2057 - Seasons . . . . . House Bark Is Braced For Cold At All Times
Lesson #2056 - Posing . . . . . "Well, Hello There". (In A Side Note, Those Are Three Of The Funniest Words In Language When Said To Anything With The Right Attitude)
Lesson #2055 (Recitation #117) - Thermo . . . . . The Poor Zeroth Law, Never Getting Any Respect
Lesson #2054 - Carnivores . . . . . Moose, On The Other Hand, Love Eating Lightning-Struck Animals, It's Very Uncharacteristic
Lesson #2053 - Lent . . . . . Perhaps Helium Would Have Been A Better Choice
Lesson #2052 - Romantic Beginnings . . . . . Sorry, I Can't Go Speed Dating, I'm Trying To Diet
Lesson #2051 - Sleep Deprivation . . . . . Oh Wait I See, Someone Just Left The Bathtub Faucet On, This Is Just Water Pouring Down The Stairs, It All Makes Sense Now

Lesson #2050 - Contraceptives . . . . . Technically, Just The First Used, Not Necessarily Successfully
Lesson #2049 - Suggested Names: Bakeries . . . . . Derivative Possibilities: Crustworthy, The Brain Crust, Place Your Crust In Me
Lesson #2048 (Recitation #116) - Fights . . . . . Depends Whether It's Home Or Away, Anyway. Or Neutral Site. Like A Desert. Actually, That's Not Very Neutral
Lesson #2047 - Spring Break . . . . . Maybe The Old Lady Next Door Will Go Wild
Lesson #2046 - Impressions . . . . . I Also Do A Not-Terrible Bullwinkle T. Moose
Lesson #2045 - Great Literature . . . . . Literacy Is A Barrier In Multiple Languages
Lesson #2044 - Sarcasm . . . . . A Standing Ovation To You If You Recognized That 'Snork' Was A Snorkeling Joke About Things Being Incomprehensible Underwater, It's Not A Great Joke But It Makes Me Laugh Everytime
Lesson #2043 - Kid Blends . . . . . Make Sure To Drink Water To Help Keep It Down
Lesson #2042 - Poor Choices . . . . . Trust Me On This, I'm A Doctor
Lesson #2041 (Recitation #115) - Contact . . . . . Wait, They're From A Desert Planet? Well, That's Potentially Unfortunate

Lesson #2040 - Idiocy . . . . . Foot, Meet Mouth; Tongue, Meet Twist; Brain, Meet Fist
Lesson #2039 - Pleasing . . . . . Pleasing Three Out Of Ten People Is A Hall Of Fame Average, Take What Pride You Can
Lesson #2038 - Styles . . . . . BASK IN MY RADIANCE
Lesson #2037 - Creation Myths . . . . . That's Why I Call The Earth "Bitey"
Lesson #2036 - "-Holic" . . . . . My Re-written Version Of The Bible Will Soon Be Available In Walmarts Everywhere
Lesson #2035 - Coffee Mantra . . . . . I Imagine Aragorn Was A Pain In The Morning Until He Had His Fill
Lesson #2034 (Recitation #114) - Online Dates . . . . . Hello, Ladies And Gentlemen, I Know I Made You Weak At The Knees With That Joke, I Hope You Can Restrain Your Emotions And Desires
Lesson #2033 - Joke-Telling . . . . . 'Alchemist' Should Be A Grade Level For Scientist And Engineering Students, Like Between Sophomore And Junior Year
Lesson #2032 - Venus . . . . . The Green Star That Is Venus Is Really Just The Rovers Signalling That They're Ready To Come Home Now
Lesson #2031 - Desserts . . . . . Beer Is A Kind Of Liquid Dessert

Lesson #2030 - Slopes . . . . . It Says Something About You That You're Not Supposed To Bring A Sled And You Did Anyway
Lesson #2029 - Photography, Part III . . . . . Hail Satan I Mean What Who Said That
Lesson #2028 - Vegetarian Factions . . . . . Why Can't Each Side Just Care-ot A Little
Lesson #2027 (Recitation #113) - No Valentine . . . . . Adventure Never Enjoys The Card I Get It, Though
Lesson #2026 - Valentine Thoughts, Part IV . . . . . "I'm Grounded? Gee, Really Feeling The Storge, Mom"
Lesson #2025 - Valentine Thoughts, Part III . . . . . The World Is Your Pearl, Baby. Wait, Yes, No, I Mean, Yes, I Know You're A Clam Not An Oyster, No I Wasn't Trying To Be Offensive, Wait, Baby, Come Back, Please, I'm Sorry
Lesson #2024 - Valentine Thoughts, Part II . . . . . Your Rib Cage Would Likely Have Developed Very Differently, Now That I Think About It
Lesson #2023 - Valentine Thoughts, Part I . . . . . Vole On Tine. Get It? Wait, Please Come Back, These Reservations Were Expensive
Lesson #2022 - Craziness . . . . . Good Luck Generating Numbers For That Equation
Lesson #2021 - Winter Olympics . . . . . "Wait, You Idiot, Don't Drive That Croquet Stake Into The Frozen Pond, You'll-" CRACK

Lesson #2020 (Recitation #112) - Cooking For Guests . . . . . YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR FATHER WAS A CHICKEN. NO, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? OR EVEN THINK THAT WAS A POSSIBILITY
Guest Lecture #29 - SF Lunatic Fringe
Lesson #2019 - Automated Phone Systems . . . . . Yes, I'm Sure Your Name Really Is Kevin, Too
Lesson #2018 - Aging . . . . . Not Really Sure I Qualify As A Silver Fox, Not Only Because Of A Lack Of A Full Silver Head Of Hair, But Also Because A Silver Wombat Is Probably A Better Term
Lesson #2017 - Normalcy . . . . . Hipsters Are Just Wannabe Time Travelers From The Future, Conformists Are Wannabe Time Travelers Getting Dragged Forward From The Past
Lesson #2016 - Groundhogs, Part II . . . . . A More Appropriate Name For Anyone Who Annexes As Much Territory As They Can, Not For A Rodent You Can't Really Make Chops From
Lesson #2015 - Pointy Beards . . . . . Once It Gets Too Long, It's Too Hard To Wield It Like A Weapon To Stab Someone, Hence You're Not As Evil Anymore
Lesson #2014 (Recitation #111) - Stupid Ideas . . . . . Not To Mention Ecumenically
Lesson #2013 - Imaginary Friends . . . . . Somehow He Keeps Eating All The Chips, Too. I Don't Know How In Hark He Does That
Lesson #2012 - Opium . . . . . This Comic Was Written Entirely Under The Influence Of No Opium At All
Lesson #2011 - Properly Curated Scorn . . . . . "How Is This A Comic?" "I Don't Know, It Gave Me A Sad Smile, And If I Only Made Content For You, Hypothetical Internet Person, This Would Be A Site Of Nothing But Coffee And Cats"

Lesson #2010 - Fruits . . . . . Everything Is Better In Pie Form, Particularly Circular Areas
Lesson #2009 - Honor . . . . . Honor Schmonor
Lesson #2008 - Nemeses . . . . . Raisins, It's Been Nearly 25 Years, But We Finally Meet Again
Lesson #2007 - A Marriage's Worth . . . . . I Will Never Get Tired Of The Zy Goat Joke, I Promise You That
Lesson #2006 - Shame and Responsibility . . . . . I Look Forward To Your Arguments Against Linear Regressions, No, Wait, I Really Really Don't
Lesson #2005 - Bongos . . . . . SOMEBODY HELP, MY DRUM JUST GORED ME
Lesson #2004 - Personal Victories . . . . . Anyone Got Any Nachos? Can You Send Them Through The Wormhole? Hey Thanks And Oh I See, Nachos Is Your Word For Live Giant Squid, Well, That's Unfortunate
Lesson #2003 - Friggin' Cats . . . . . (Exasperated Sigh)
Lesson #2002 - Personal Limitations . . . . . If Nightshift Gives Me Free Beer As A Result Of The Plug, The Headache Tomorrow Will All Have Been Worth It
Lesson #2001 - Dancing . . . . . No Wait That's A Spasm Someone Call 911

Lesson #2000 - The Paths We Take . . . . . Hey! Fancy Meeting You Here
Lesson #1999 - Self-Confidence . . . . . It's Awfully Crowded With So Many Mes Up In This Brain
Lesson #1998 - Creative Writing . . . . . "Hmmmm, I Think I'll Work On BSing About A Whale Today," Thought Herman Melville
Lesson #1997 - Scientific Priorities . . . . . TAKEN III, I Guess
Lesson #1996 - Lunch . . . . . That Every Comic Hasn't Been About Food Is The Bigger Surprise At This Point, I Would Say. Anyway, I'm Hungry
Lesson #1995 - Night Owls . . . . . Bet No One Likes This One, That Is My Guess, And Furthermore, I Don't Care, Apparently
Lesson #1994 - Problem Solving . . . . . Surely This Beast Will Help The Town's School Education Budget Get Passed!
Lesson #1993 - Spaghetti . . . . . Sorry, Ma, Looks Like The Rigatoni Didn't Come In Real Good This Year, Gonna Be A Hard Winter
Lesson #1992 - Grumpy Old Men . . . . . A Bit Heavy, Though, Hard To Get Torque On Him
Lesson #1991 - Coffee Innovations . . . . . The Name Of A Coffee Order Should Not Take Longer To Say Than To Drink

Lesson #1990 - Teaching Beginnings . . . . . Sarcasm Does Not Play Well, Apparently
Lesson #1989 - Scientific Creativity . . . . . "Dad, Why Does That Beached Whale Have A Helicopter Sticking Out Of Its Head?" "Oh, It's Probably Just Playing, Sweetheart"
Lesson #1988 - Winter Pedestrian Logic . . . . . THUNK Oh Sorry
Lesson #1987 - Home . . . . . Anyway, I'll Be Huddling In The Cold Blowing On The Pipes To Get Them To Thaw
Lesson #1986 - Probable Fates . . . . . Ah, Those Rascally Hemingway Brothers, You Never Know What They'll Get Up To
Lesson #1985 - Ice . . . . . The Weather Channel Knows Something We Don't
Lesson #1984 - New Year Superstitions . . . . . EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED Except Your Name And Identity And Really Pretty Much Everything
Lesson #1983 - End Of Another Year . . . . . 2014's Major Weakness Is Saws And Blunt Objects To The Head, I'm Guessing
Lesson #1982 - Resolutions, Revisited . . . . . Next Year I Set My Sights On Prunes
Lesson #1981 - Favorite Music, Part II . . . . . Zither Stardust Is A Little Overrated, To Be Honest

Lesson #1980 - Eye-Rolling . . . . . Hurray, A Teenager In A Twenty-Month-Old Body
Lesson #1979 - Secret Alcohol . . . . . The Holidays When You Have Children, When You Discover How Much Your Relatives Truly Love You Based On What They Give Your Children
Lesson #1978 - Fireplaces . . . . . Home Is Where Dad Doses Me With Toxic Gas
Lesson #1977 - Noels . . . . . Merry Everything, Guys
Lesson #1976 - Creeping People Out, Part XIX . . . . . And When You're Arrested For Disturbing The Peace, Shout, "I'm Going To Jail! Isn't It Terrific!"
Lesson #1975 - Holiday Chaos . . . . . The Other Holidays Snicker Behind Christmas's Back, And Rightfully So
Lesson #1974 - Basement Science . . . . . It's Also Easier To Unearth The Buried Bodies From Down Here, Too
Lesson #1973 - Cat Science . . . . . Cat Einstein Came Up With The Idea While He Was Sleeping One Day, Or So They Say, The Story May Be Apocryphal
Lesson #1972 - Christmas Ruminations, Part III . . . . . Hitler Makes For A Truly Terrible Tree Topper
Lesson #1971 - Christmas Ruminations, Part II . . . . . Enough Already, Venison Is On The Menu

Lesson #1970 - Christmas Ruminations, Part I . . . . . Maybe The Song Was Rested Ye
Lesson #1969 - Automotives . . . . . AAA? Yes, I Think I See A Yeti, Please Hurry
Lesson #1968 - Grading, Part IV . . . . . Any Actual Student Who Wants To Know What Their Bath Toy Grade Was, Just Email Me
Lesson #1967 - Holiday Spirits, Part II . . . . . It's Already Absorbed Thanksgiving, Soon Not Even Labor Day Will Be Safe
Lesson #1966 - Holiday Spirits, Part I . . . . . Marty McFly Has Got Nothing On Me And My Ghost Powered Pickup Truck
Lesson #1965 - Ornamental Order . . . . . The Front Of The Tree Is All Chickens. I'm Not Kidding. We Like Chicken Ornaments
Lesson #1964 - Personal Overload . . . . . Solution Is Undefined
Lesson #1963 - Unpacking . . . . . Strange, Those Meows Are Getting Quieter And Quieter
Lesson #1962 - Gift Giving . . . . . I May Be Fired Next Week
Lesson #1961 - Rivalries . . . . . I See An Opportunity For A Musical Dance-Off

Lesson #1960 - Extra Wind . . . . . Clarinet Might Have Slid Down Easier
Lesson #1959 - Moving, Again . . . . . Have Truck, Will Live Like A Nomad Who Signs Leases
Lesson #1958 - Coffee's Purpose . . . . . GLUGLUGLUGLUGLUG
Lesson #1957 - Liking Others . . . . . People, Who Needs Them
Lesson #1956 - Hammering Away . . . . . Thus Explaining The Impetus To Throw More Money At Money Pits By Politicians, To Throw More Bombs At Bomb Craters By Politicians, And Red Meat At Voters By Politicians
Lesson #1955 - Life Control . . . . . No, The Rabbit Hole Doesn't Go So Deep You Come Out The Other Side, You Just Think You Do Because Of All The Meds That You're Given By The Nice Men In The White Coats
Lesson #1954 - Dressing As Santa . . . . . Zwarte Piet Cosplay Is A Little Hard To Explain Though
Lesson #1953 - Annoying Christmas Songs . . . . . I Apologize, Parents Of Kids Who Read This Comic
Lesson #1952 - Lines From Dinner . . . . . My Father-In-Law Has His Moments
Lesson #1951 - Black Friday, Part II . . . . . Because Ops Are Somedays More Predictable Than Others

Lesson #1950 - Pardoned Poultry . . . . . Imagine If The Turkey Killed Again? Of All The Things To Effect Your Polling
Lesson #1949 - Thankfulness . . . . . Now Pass The Potatoes
Lesson #1948 - Obligations . . . . . I Didn't Sign Any Agreement Saying That I'd Give Away My Fourth Born, Right? I Feel Like You Could Have Distracted Me And Gotten Me To Sign That, Lately
Lesson #1947 - Imagination, Part III . . . . . The First Law Of Imagination Physics Is That We Do Not Talk About Physics, The Second Law Of Imagination Physics Is That There Are No Laws
Lesson #1946 - Baby Wisdom . . . . . At This Rate, All I Need Is For Her To Learn A Few Words, And I Can Retire!
Lesson #1945 - Sweet Dreams . . . . . My Dreams Are Usually Of Eclectic Sheep, Personally
Lesson #1944 - Living Areas . . . . . "Rubrurbanal"
Lesson #1943 - At Odds . . . . . Hurray For All The People That We Specifically Agree With And Like
Lesson #1942 - Remakes . . . . . Man I Hope It Bombs
Lesson #1941 - French . . . . . Debated Drawing A Mustache With Eyeblack For This One

Lesson #1940 - Instinct . . . . . Basically, I Can't Decide Whether Or Not To Wear Underwear
Lesson #1939 - Lousy . . . . . I Think The General Point Here Is To Just Avoid Entomology Students, Period. Sorry, Entomology Students
Lesson #1938 - Chalkdust . . . . . This Is Why We Must Spurn The Onward March Of Whiteboards
Lesson #1937 - Kids and Grandkids . . . . . Right In The Hair. Again. Good Aim. Maybe There's An Athletic Scholarship In This For You Somehow
Lesson #1936 - Predicting . . . . . Bet You Didn't See My Jerkiness Coming, Huh? Oh. You Did. Well. That's Unfortunate.
Lesson #1935 - Joking . . . . . Welcome To Brain Theater, We Have Been The Occipitals, You've Been A Great Audience, WE LOVE YOU CEREBELLUM, ORGAN BY THE SKULL
Lesson #1934 - Brainwashing . . . . . Sleep, The Brain's Nighttime Janitor
Lesson #1933 - Theoretical Practice . . . . . Never Trusted That Fermat Guy, Though
Lesson #1932 - Culinary Artists . . . . . Further Proof, Never Trust A Cat
Lesson #1931 - Unstated Obligations . . . . . It's Okay, I'm Sure The Oven Will Turn Off On Its Own

Lesson #1930 - Nakedness . . . . . Yes, Yes, It's Uncomfortable For Everyone
Lesson #1929 - Red Eyes . . . . . Anyway, That's Why I Attacked The Complimentary Peanuts, Looking For Bugs
Lesson #1928 - The States, Part IV . . . . . The Parents Went To Bed But The Kids Are Still Up, And Look Where That Got Them
Lesson #1927 - Idea Formation . . . . . What Are You Doing To My Ear? No, That Is Not How You Brainstorm
Lesson #1926 - Personal Creativity . . . . . I Do Wish My Muse Would Stop Calling Me "Poopstick", Though
Lesson #1925 - Hotels . . . . . Amenities Include Continental Breakfast, Gym, Wi-Fi, Rabies
Lesson #1924 - Parades . . . . . Ba Dum Bum Bum, DAH Da Da, Ba Dum Bum Bum, DAH Da Da
Lesson #1923 - Terrible Ideas . . . . . Live, Damn You, Live!
Lesson #1922 - The Celebration of Halloween . . . . . WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOX!
Lesson #1921 - Friend Costumes . . . . . Or Dress Up As The Person Who Only Treats You As A Friend When You Want To Be Something More, When You Go Home Later, At Least You'll Kind Of Go Home Together

Lesson #1920 - Trains, Ships, and Ghosts . . . . . Chugga Chugga Chugga Chugga BOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lesson #1919 - Halloween at School . . . . . Now Go Put On Your School Uniform And Let The Bullies Beat The Individual Right Out Of You
Lesson #1918 - Terrifying Scenes . . . . . Oh, And The Obligatory: Moo-Hah-Hah-Hah
Lesson #1917 - Halloween Art . . . . . Although If This Is Bad, Just Wait Until Christmas, Right?
Lesson #1916 - Ghost Origins . . . . . The Four Bases Are The True Points Of A Satanic Pentagram
Lesson #1915 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part V . . . . . "Abstract" Itself Is A Pretty Great Abstract Costume
Lesson #1914 - Hauntings . . . . . Away From Me, Oh Ghost Of The Time I Stubbed My Toe, I Have No Time For You
Lesson #1913 - Narratives . . . . . I Think We Can Fit One More Column Inside This Dead Horse Skin If We Just Stretch It A Bit More! Pull! PULLLLLLLLLLLL Oh Dear It Ripped. Somebody Get Us A New Horseskin
Lesson #1912 - Sports Definitions, Part I . . . . . Aunt Susie Always Was A Weirdo
Lesson #1911 - Central Nervous Systems . . . . . The CNS, Spreading Anxiety Throughout The Body

Lesson #1910 - Pumpkins . . . . . This Is What Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater's Wife Felt Like, Trapped, But By A Marketing Onslaught
Lesson #1909 - Offices . . . . . I'm Honestly Enjoying How Many Students Are Telling Me They're Enjoying The Decoration On My New Office's Door, Never Mind That They Are The Same Decorations That Were On My Old Office Door, Oh Well
Lesson #1908 - Nonsense Learning . . . . . I Almost Told A Class Today That The Moody Friction Factor Was The Inspiration For The Harry Potter Character, Then Thought Better Of Doing So
Lesson #1907 - Experiments, Part II . . . . . I've Been Breathing In Toxic Leaking Fumes All Day, And Boy, Am I Exhausted
Lesson #1906 - Experiments, Part I . . . . . Hard To Explain The Moldy Orange Juice Inside The Rototherm, Mind You
Lesson #1905 - Sports . . . . . Sports, The Religion For The Religious And The Atheists Alike
Lesson #1904 - Dogs . . . . . Bow Wow And Bow Wow, Amen
Lesson #1903 - Normality . . . . . I Went Out On A Carbon Date Once, It Was Very Sooty And I Didn't Enjoy It Much
Lesson #1902 - Daycare . . . . . Hurray, You're Home, Into The Sanitary Bath Before You Are Allowed To Enter The House
Lesson #1901 - Pet Purpose . . . . . Especially Cats

Lesson #1900 - The Coffee (A Poem) . . . . . And Then We Found Out The Coffee Was Being Raised By The Amish All This Time Oops I Should Have Said Spoiler Alert
Lesson #1899 - Hoarders . . . . . Everything Is Meaningful If You Try Hard Enough To Plaster Nostalgia To It
Lesson #1898 - The Worst . . . . . Anyone Who Claims To Enjoy Moving Is A Liar
Lesson #1897 - Turtles . . . . . Feeder Fish Are Far Most Cost Effective Than Pizza, By The Way
Lesson #1896 - Sanity . . . . . Stop Right There Or The Hypothalmus Gets It, I Swear It, I'll Fire, I Swear
Lesson #1895 - Sports Superstitions . . . . . Hence The Sam Adams And The Guinness In The Fridge
Lesson #1894 - Government, Part II . . . . . If This Series Continues For Another Day, It'll Just Be A Single Circle That Represents Both Government And Disappointment
Lesson #1893 - Government . . . . . Anyway, Please Allow Me To Pontificate
Lesson #1892 - Creeping People Out, Part XVIII . . . . . No, We Haven't Been Contacted By Any Record Company, How Could They Possibly Know We Exist?
Lesson #1891 - Entropy . . . . . We're Not Cheating, We're Just Fulfilling Universal Destiny

Lesson #1890 - Fruit Powers . . . . . Let's Not Even Get Into What The Coconut Can Do
Lesson #1889 - Discipline . . . . . Sesame Street For Teaching Our Children The Alphabet And Simple Math, Wool Weapons For Teaching Our Children History And Warfare
Lesson #1888 - Nothing . . . . . Something Would Go Here If I Could Make It
Lesson #1887 - Breakthroughs . . . . . Just Keep Living, Just Keep Living, Just Keep Living
Lesson #1886 - Inside Connection . . . . . Six Degrees Of Separation Plus Or Minus Ten Thousand
Lesson #1885 - Grading, Part III . . . . . Ink Is Far Less Tasty, Of Course, Or Is It
Lesson #1884 - Animal Classification . . . . . Every Time I Get To Use My Creepy Stare, An Angel Gets Larger Eyeballs
Lesson #1883 - Babies . . . . . Sometimes More George Of The Jungle Than Tarzan, Admittedly
Lesson #1882 - Celebrations . . . . . Using The Cat As A Sponge Was, In Retrospect, A Poor Idea
Lesson #1881 - Pirates? . . . . . AAAAAAA Screamed The Bostonian Pirate

Lesson #1880 - Space Exploration . . . . . "Are You Martians Or Are You Monsters", Goes The Saying, Which Doesn't Really Speak Well For Us
Lesson #1879 - Dumb Holidays, Part I . . . . . THIS IS NATIONAL FARM ANIMALS AWARENESS WEEK. WHAT THE HARK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Lesson #1878 - Stress Management . . . . . There's A Foreign Language Joke In There Somewhere In "Stress Management", But It's Probably Not Funny Enough To Even Waste The Time I Am Taking To Type This
Lesson #1877 - Caffeine . . . . . The Supervillain Who Only Pulls Coffee-Related Plots And Schemes Is Known As 'The Caffiend', Right?
Lesson #1876 - Feline Math . . . . . Meow Squared = Jerkism To The Fourth Power
Lesson #1875 - Political Thoughts . . . . . Pundits Are More Fast Food Than Slow Cookers, They've Repeatedly Got To Be On To Their Next Subject To Obsess Over
Lesson #1874 - Mammals . . . . . All The More For Eating, Then, Or Maybe Not On Second Thought
Lesson #1873 - Dealing With Living . . . . . Could Also Be Filed Under Things I Will Be Shouting At Someone In A Crowd Within A Week, In All Likelihood
Lesson #1872 - Faulty Logic . . . . . This Reward For My Brilliant Logic Looks Mysteriously Like A Road Cone, That's Weird
Lesson #1871 - Caring . . . . . Comforting, In A Way, A Way That Does Not Bring Happiness With The Comfort

Lesson #1870 - Creeping People Out, Part XVII . . . . . OH GOD, AN UMBRELLA RIGHT IN THE EYE, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO LIKE DRINKS WITH UMBRELLAS
Lesson #1869 - Testing . . . . . But Don't Believe Me, I Could Be BSing You Right Now, Or Am I, Who Knows
Lesson #1868 - Suggested Names: Farmstands . . . . . Gourd Almighty
Lesson #1867 - Bad Television Ideas, Part II . . . . . Catch The Buzz
Lesson #1866 - Bad Television Ideas . . . . . A Future Cult Classic
Lesson #1865 - Explaining College . . . . . I've Been Reading "To Be Or Not To Be" Lately, I Highly Recommend It
Lesson #1864 - School Year Preparations . . . . . I'm Not Here To Hold Your Hand, I'm Here To Eviscerate Your Lack Of Understanding. So We Can Fill In Some Knowledge! See, There's A Positive In There For Everyone
Lesson #1863 - Turning Seasons . . . . . Welcome Back To School, Kids
Lesson #1862 - Housing, Part II . . . . . Termites Are Rogue Artisans, They Have No Noted Trade And Have Not Gotten Proper Acknowledgment From The Guild
Lesson #1861 - Housing, Part I . . . . . Some Call This A Pond, I Call It My Asbestos Farm

Lesson #1860 - Signs of the Times . . . . . Secret Service Would Probably Tackle You Before You Could Get Too Close To The Congressman, Unfortunately
Lesson #1859 - Buddies . . . . . Hey Pal, Could You Rub Yourself With This Blood And Get Something Out Of The Water For Me? Thanks
Lesson #1858 - Chinchillas . . . . . Did You Know Chinchillas Were Once Hunted For Their Fur? Sigh. No Respect For The Cute And Cuddly
Lesson #1857 - Morning Aptitude . . . . . Students Who Bring Me Coffee, Either My Real-Life Students, Or You Darling STW-ers Who Happen To Meet Me In Real Life, I Am All In Favor Of Your Greatness, Unless You're Somehow Stalking Me And That's How You Knew To Have Coffee Ready For Me At That Particular Street Corner, Go Away And Leave My Family Alone
Lesson #1856 - Chicken Nuggets . . . . . Welcome To Dinner, Before We Dig In, Please Finish This Pop Quiz For Your Science Class
Lesson #1855 - Descent . . . . . Geronimosquitoes! (That'd Be A Terrible Rain Of Animals)
Lesson #1854 - Bathroom Reading . . . . . Not Sure If This Comic Counted As NSFW Or Not, Hopefully Not Since You Already Read It
Lesson #1853 (Recitation #110) - Hit Songs . . . . . I Look Forward To Your Acoustic Unplugged Version
Lesson #1852 - Thinking . . . . . Oh, Was I Making You Uncomfortable? What Do You Have Against Someone For Thinking? Thought Racist!
Lesson #1851 - Moderation . . . . . Stupid William Power

Lesson #1850 - Thermodynamics . . . . . The First Law Is Really All You Need, If You Like The Idea Of A Cold Room Heating A Hot Cup Of Coffee
Lesson #1849 - Little Known Facts, Part III . . . . . This Are Cave Of Arrrrrgggh, Welcome
Lesson #1848 - Game, Part II . . . . . Fortunately, I Am Wearing My Foot Camouflage, So You Will Never Be Able To See My Feet To Go After OWWWWWWWW How Could You Have Guessed That They Were Where I Was Standing OWWWWWWWW
Lesson #1847 - Barbecue . . . . . Of Course, Some Obsessed Foodie Will Start To Ask You About What Type Of Squid Ink. At Which Point, You Should Hit Them In The Face With An Octopus. You'd Probably Have One On Hand If You Live In Detroit
Lesson #1846 (Recitation #109) - Bees . . . . . It's Truly Apollening. Apalling? Pollen? Bees? No? Yeah, I Tried Too Hard With That One
Lesson #1845 - Doing Science . . . . . And That's Why The Cat Is Glued To The Ceiling. No, You Can't Let Her Down, The Experiment Is Ongoing. Frankly, She Chose Not To Be The Control Cat In The Study, She Should Stop Complaining.
Lesson #1844 - Video Enjoyment . . . . . Oh, Baby, That's Right, You Share That Hydrogen Ion, Oh Yeah
Lesson #1843 - Coffee Effects . . . . . Coffee Goggles: Making Mornings Good Enough To Not Sleep In With, Or Something
Lesson #1842 - Time Travel Theory . . . . . It's Probably Good That They Never Arrived, Your Buffet Didn't Have The Imitation Steak Pills That They Enjoy So Much By 2079
Lesson #1841 - Family Reunions . . . . . I Invited My Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great- Uncle The Neanderthal, But Thankfully He Declined To Join Us, Which Is Nice Because He's Awfully Racist, Anyway

Lesson #1840 - Bonding . . . . . We're Now Covalently Attached And Are Looking For A Free Radical To Help Us Separate
Lesson #1839 (Recitation #108) - Nipples . . . . . Chant The Right Words And You'll Find Out
Lesson #1838 - Positivity . . . . . "Could Be Worse" Also Upsets People, I Wonder Why
Lesson #1837 - Outcomes . . . . . Ryan Likes To Stomp On The Floor A Lot, I Don't Think He Realizes I'm Down Here Between His Floorboards
Lesson #1836 - Time . . . . . The Rolling Stones Lied
Lesson #1835 - Little Known Facts, Part II . . . . . "Help Meeeeeee!" The Lobster Screams, But Can't Be Heard Over The Sound Of The Boiling Water
Lesson #1834 - Imagination, Part II . . . . . "It Looks Like They Broke In Through The Imagination." "But, Wait, Chief! The Imagination Is Shattered And All The Pieces Are Scattered Outside! Not Inside!" "Holy Hark. This Was An Inside Job!"
Lesson #1833 - Favorite Music . . . . . It's A Lot Harder If You Only Allow One Song Per Artist, And Partly Misses The Point
Lesson #1832 (Recitation #107) - Good/Evil . . . . . That Outfit Is Positively Diabolical. As In, Is Azazel Your Tailor
Lesson #1831 - Canadian Life . . . . . Eh

Lesson #1830 - Negotiations . . . . . Look, Cannonball, I Would Like To Extradite The Dog, Can You Please Let Him Out Of Your Room Before He Goes On The Floor And You Help Him Over The Border Anyway
Lesson #1829 - In Explanation . . . . . They've Certainly Been Playing At The Assumption That They Are, And They're Certainly Both Alternately Praised And Reviled Like They Are
Lesson #1828 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part XI . . . . . Their Style Of Clothing And Fashion And Slang Are None Too Spectacular, Either
Lesson #1827 - Cat Emotions . . . . . My Vertical Chest Is Not A Place To Nap
Lesson #1826 - Buzzwords . . . . . And These Pipes Are Sustainable! Now Give Me Money, NSF
Lesson #1825 (Recitation #106) - Problems . . . . . Carry The One, Divide By Three, Assume The Sun Is Hot But Not That Hot, And BAM, You've Got The Blueprints For Your Spaceship
Lesson #1824 - Sweat . . . . . Somewhere, Machines Are Gleefully Watching People In The Gym, Super Excited And Mispronouncing Sweat As "Sweet, Sweet, Sweet"
Lesson #1823 - Horses, Part II . . . . . Do I Think Anyone Will Take This Seriously And Be Offended On Behalf Of Horses? Neiiiiiiigh! Oh, Wait, Yes. Yes, I Most Certainly Do.
Lesson #1822 - To-Do . . . . . Interestingly, Based On This Curve, You Really Shouldn't Worry, You'll Never Run Out Of Time To Do Something Because You Need An Infinite Number Of Tasks Left To Be Completed First
Lesson #1821 - Signs, Part II . . . . . You're Into . . . Congelation? Well, I Wish You Good Day And I'm Off To Talk To Someone Else

Lesson #1820 - Coffee Additives . . . . . The Doughnuts Are Filled With Communion Wafers, Too. Okay, Not Really, That One Was A Joke. Maybe.
Lesson #1819 - Word Choice . . . . . Stop It, Brain, What Is Wrong With You, Why Did You Have To Do That
Lesson #1818 - Paths . . . . . If You Want To Get Nerdy About It, It Makes For A Great Three-Dimensional Perspective
Lesson #1817 - Sense of Humor . . . . . Get One, Please
Lesson #1816 - Perceived Threats . . . . . We're Going To Need A Bigger Supply Of Nickels, We Don't Have Enough To Get The Two-Pack Of PopTarts AND Fend Off The Anthropomorphic Vending Machine
Lesson #1815 (Recitation #105) - Impressing . . . . . That Comic Took A Very Creepy Turn And Kept Right On Going Down Super Creepy Boulevard
Lesson #1814 - Hugs . . . . . Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Even If You Smell
Lesson #1813 - Schrodinger . . . . . WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY PERSON, LET ME GO IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY
Lesson #1812 - Feats . . . . . It Makes More Sense If You Pronounce The Word "The" Like "De", I Hope You Caught That
Lesson #1811 - Black Cats . . . . . Man The Torpedos! No, I Mean, Stick Men In The Torpedo Chutes, It'll Be Fun, I Promise

Lesson #1810 - Graffiti, Part II . . . . . The Tagger Is Named "The Dis-integrated"
Lesson #1809 - Alternative Sports . . . . . I Only Root For The Goat
Lesson #1808 - Smart Plants . . . . . The Rosebush Will Be Happy To Tutor You With Your Calculus, Though
Lesson #1807 - Firework Alternatives . . . . . The Coyote Population In Those Areas Is Remarkably Low
Lesson #1806 - Squid . . . . . Beginning To Believe That Squid Are The Unofficial Non-Extinct Animal Of STW, Just Like Grapefruit Are The Unofficial Fruit And Chalkdust Is The Unofficial Inefficient Fake Cocaine
Lesson #1805 - The Engineer . . . . . Bio Is Part Of Chemical, Computer Is Part Of Electrical. Don't Get All Huffy, Those Are The Main Four Classifications, And You Know It
Lesson #1804 - Teeth Whitening . . . . . Gargle For No Extra Effectiveness, Just Stop, What The Hell Is Wrong With You
Lesson #1803 - Bubblewrap . . . . . Not Necessarily The Most Attractive Look, Either
Lesson #1802 - Bodies . . . . . If You Meet A Cassandra Smith Tell Him I Will See Him In Court
Lesson #1801 (Recitation #104) - World's End . . . . . 10010110100010001001010001011102 I Mean Please Be Careful With Our Computer Oh Great Overlords!

Lesson #1800 - Creeping People Out, Part XVI . . . . . Maybe Pull Out Your Phone And Appear To Dial, If Anyone Sees You. Otherwise, It's A Creeping With Extended Operation!
Lesson #1799 - Marriages . . . . . P.S. Hurray
Lesson #1798 - The Street . . . . . And Not Just Sesame
Lesson #1797 - Hair Loss . . . . . Werewolf Tendancies Or Birds-Heading-South-For-The-Winter Tendancies, It's One Or The Other Or Maybe Both
Lesson #1796 - Fishy . . . . . Scrod Is Actually Kind Of A Good Nickname, I'm Totally On Board With That
Lesson #1795 - Hockey . . . . . Man, Can Those Octopus Cross-Check! They Do Have To Introduce An Extra Penalty For Them, Though. "Inking" Will Get You Two Minutes In The Box
Lesson #1794 (Recitation #103) - Demon Portals . . . . . As It Is Written. I Think This Makes ASPCAs A Cult That Buffy Would Be Trying To Bring Down
Lesson #1793 - Mars . . . . . "Goddeimos" Is Also Somewhat Popular
Lesson #1792 - Clouds . . . . . Many Old-Timey Names, A Bit Of Class, And The Occasional DESTRUCTATRON
Lesson #1791 - Baby Movement . . . . . GET OFF THE END TABLE

Lesson #1790 - Brain Power . . . . . It's Like A Math-Only Matrix
Lesson #1789 - Home Protection, Part V . . . . . Try To Remember Not To Touch Your Eyes When Cleaning Up
Lesson #1788 - Home Protection, Part IV . . . . . If You Had Actual Ghosts, This Would Be Pretty Cool, But You Best Be Friendly With Them, That Could Backfire
Lesson #1787 (Recitation #102) - Evolution . . . . . I Would Also Accept Being A Giant Intelligent Lobster. Or Squid. Not A Cat, Though. Definitely Not A Cat.
Lesson #1786 - Cocktails . . . . . Easy For The Bartender To Make But Very Sleazy If The Bartender Is Actually The One To Make It
Lesson #1785 - Liquor . . . . . Does Not Go Down Smooth At All
Lesson #1784 - Science, Part II . . . . . That's Polyethylene Oxide In The Jar, But You Can Pretend It's Cocaine If That Helps You Imagine Better
Lesson #1783 - Page-A-Day Calendars . . . . . If The Calendar Was All About Birds, Every Day You Flipped A Page, You Would Be Flipping The Bird, And How Rude Is That? Shame On You
Lesson #1782 - Time Traveler . . . . . "Anyway, Want To Come With Me And Visit The Future? Mind You, We'll Be Stuck There, But At Least We'll Be Together Before You Leave Me Like Everyone Else"
Lesson #1781 - Game . . . . . "I Have To Tell You, She A Real Elker"

Lesson #1780 (Recitation #101) - Graders . . . . . My Graders Get Paid Actual Money And They Do Very Little Grading At That, I Should Probably Be Making Them Work Harder Or Hiring Them Out To Other Professors, If You Need A Serf Please Let Me Know
Lesson #1779 - Dreaming . . . . . Friggin' Dog, When Am I Ever Going To Have Another Chance At A Mind-Blowing Encounter With Um You Know Someone Completely Chaste Yeah That's It Chaste
Lesson #1778 - Stars . . . . . Any Advice, Major Tom?
Lesson #1777 - Food Shortages . . . . . Definitely Not Roaches, I Put My Foot Down On The Matter, Right In Their Carapice
Lesson #1776 - Internet Arguments . . . . . And That's Why You Really Are At Fault For How Late It Is Now
Lesson #1775 - Natural Enemies . . . . . Don't Mind Me, I'll Just Lie On The Floor Here In Agony, As Long As You Just Step Over Me, All Will Be Fine
Lesson #1774 - If You Can "See" Ghosts . . . . . It's A More Reason Skill You've Picked Up, Perhaps, But That Doesn't Decrease Your Bravery, No It Does Not
Lesson #1773 - Anniversary, Part V . . . . . This Is Why Gallagher Only Celebrates Fifth Anniversaries
Lesson #1772 - Agendas . . . . . Hurray. That's All. Now Let's Keep It Rolling
Lesson #1771 - Vocabulary . . . . . Linguists Have Been Attempting To Break Down The Language For Years, The Funding They Have Spent On Round-Trip Tickets Alone Is Insane

Lesson #1770 - Aging, in Perspective . . . . . Sorry If The Comic Image Makes You A Little Uncomfortable. OK, No, I'm Not Sorry, I Apologize For Fake Apologizing. OK, No, I Wasn't Sorry Then, Either
Lesson #1769 - Camping . . . . . How Rustically Miserable
Lesson #1768 - Pressure . . . . . Da Da Da Da-Da Da Daaaa
Lesson #1767 - Mustards . . . . . I Am But A Private In Colonel Mustard's Army
Lesson #1766 - Unknown Creatures . . . . . If A Million Of Those Unknown Species Are Just Variations On Mosquitoes, I'm Going To Be So Pissed
Lesson #1765 - Ratings . . . . . Even A No-Stuck-Out-Pinky Home Can Be A Fine Place To Live, Don't Overestimate The Importance Of The System
Lesson #1764 - Noise Characteristics . . . . . Indigo Gets The Shaft. Again!
Lesson #1763 - Rebranding . . . . . Bread Is Pointless Until It Becomes Bread, Anyway
Lesson #1762 - Movie Watching . . . . . "What Was Your Favorite Part?" "THE CREDITS, YUP, DEFINITELY THE CREDITS"
Lesson #1761 - Joke-Telling . . . . . Sometimes Worse Than A Heckler

Lesson #1760 - Beer . . . . . La La La La La
Lesson #1759 - Toothbrushes . . . . . The Additional Challenge Of Running To Get The Kite In The Air While Brushing Your Teeth Is An Additional Problem
Lesson #1758 - Baby Biology . . . . . May Potentially Nap While Eating A Snack, And Thus Sleep With The Goldfishes, Though
Lesson #1757 - Playpens . . . . . She's OK, Honest
Lesson #1756 - Messages From Cats . . . . . Return To Sender, Please
Lesson #1755 - Reading . . . . . If You Misunderstood 'Reading' As The Place In Pennsylvania Or Somewhere Else, Well, Good For You Or Something
Lesson #1754 - Your Other Mothers . . . . . You Have, Kind Of, An Infinite Amount Of Mothers. That's A Lot Of Favors You Owe
Lesson #1753 - Contentment and Complacency . . . . . Hope This One Isn't Too Cute For Its Own Good
Lesson #1752 - Interest in Attending . . . . . You Can Pick Up Your Packets And Your Paper Plates At The Door On Your Way In
Lesson #1751 - Abilities . . . . . Even A Were-Sea-Anenome Would Be Relatively Neat

Lesson #1750 - Editing . . . . . The Vomit Is My Red Pen
Lesson #1749 - Likely Futures . . . . . Rarely A Nice Happy Existence With Calm Cyborg Neighbors
Lesson #1748 - Teaching . . . . . Hooray Education And The Sensation Of Chalkdust Torture
Lesson #1747 - Moves . . . . . Still Not Sure If I Meant This As A Metaphor For Good Or A Metaphor For Bad, Either Way I Will Let You Decide, That Always Turns Out Well
Lesson #1746 - Derby Day . . . . . It's A Day About Hats, Yes, That's What That Title Means
Lesson #1745 - Life Goals . . . . . Try To Avoid The Bat Nipples, Unless That's The Reason Behind Your Life Goal, In Which Case You Have Made A Very Questionable Life Goal Choice
Lesson #1744 - Innovation in Communication . . . . . How Dare Snails Attempt To Get Telepathy Before It's Widely Available To Humans In Pill Form, The Gall These Creatures Have
Lesson #1743 - Hypnosis . . . . . Suggesting Perhaps That Roger Clemens Was A Chicken All Along?
Lesson #1742 - Maple Syrup . . . . . Enjoy Your Breakfast Now
Lesson #1741 - Life Crises . . . . . Just Wait Until We Can Load Our Consciousnesses Into Computers

Lesson #1740 - Grading, Part II . . . . . Some Of This Crap Is Pretty Good, Though
Lesson #1739 - Surprises . . . . . "Just A Warning, They May Be In Heat"
Lesson #1738 - Birds . . . . . Male Pattern Birdness
Lesson #1737 - Reinforcement . . . . . Only Hugh Can Prevent Florist Friars, And So On
Lesson #1736 - Book Titles . . . . . Monster and Sensibility
Lesson #1735 - Difficult Tests . . . . . Why Would You Do This? What Kind Of Monster Are You? Whyyyyyyyyyy?
Lesson #1734 - Patents . . . . . My Father-In-Law Is A Patent Lawyer, I Should Get Him On This Case For Me, And For You If You'd Like
Lesson #1733 - Supply and Demand . . . . . Chug Chug Ug This Is Terrible Chug
Lesson #1732 - Onwards . . . . . And Here We Go!
Lesson #1731 - Exam Preparation . . . . . Stress Energy Is Green Energy, Which Is Why It's Widely Considered A Hoax Or Something

Lesson #1730 - Babies . . . . . Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz To You, Zzzzzzzzzzzzz To You, Zzzzzzzz Dear Cannonball, Zzzzzzzzzz To You
Lesson #1729 - Alcohol Appearances . . . . . One Actual Major Flaw With The Study? People Who Had Alcohol Were Perceived To Be 'Less Persuasive'. That Makes No Sense. Just Wait Another Beverage Or Two And You Can Convince Them Of Anything
Lesson #1728 - Responding . . . . . Hope You And Yours Are All Okay
Lesson #1727 - Marathons . . . . . Sprite's Morning Marathon Was Particularly Annoying This Morning Because She Had Just Used The Cat Litter
Lesson #1726 - Iron . . . . . Making The Monopoly Piece All That Much More Of A Sinister Foe
Lesson #1725 - Ability and Attitude . . . . . Another Great Line: "Don't Look Back; Something Might Be Gaining On You"
Lesson #1724 - Sinners . . . . . A Black "A" Means You Probably Should Stay Away From The Chocolate Pudding Being Served For Dessert
Lesson #1723 - Knowing . . . . . The Other Half Of The Axiom Is Violence, By The Way
Lesson #1722 - Citrus Across The Universes . . . . . His Pulp Be With You
Lesson #1721 - Superhuman Ability . . . . . Alarm Clocks, The Natural Human Nemesis

Lesson #1720 - Llamas . . . . . Any Script Titled "Llama Drama" Is Already Lying Because It Will Certainly Be A Comedy
Lesson #1719 - Family Hierarchy . . . . . So That's theSwede, The Baby, Three Cats, The Dog, All Of Them Not Necessarily In That Order, Then Me. Then The Turtle.
Lesson #1718 - Beers . . . . . I Protest Agitatedly
Lesson #1717 - Drug Myths . . . . . No, No, It Has To Be USED Cat Litter
Lesson #1716 - New Parents, Part VI . . . . . This Foot Shaped Bruise On My Face Is Kind Of Embarrassing, Too
Lesson #1715 - Things in Space . . . . . The Setting For Another Bad Star Trek Movie
Lesson #1714 - Season's Beginning . . . . . Better To Caught Stealing Than Never Do Anything Annnnnd The Metaphor Just Broke Down
Lesson #1713 - New Scientists, Part III . . . . . Raptor Relish, Polar Bear Barbecue, Bald Eagle Rotisserie
Lesson #1712 - Jesus's Footprints . . . . . If You Could Turn Into A Bat, Heck, Why Wouldn't You Turn Into A Bat Every Now And Then?
Lesson #1711 - Starving Artists . . . . . Flesh Makes For Great Inspiration

Lesson #1710 - Unique Alcohols . . . . . Don't Mind Me, I Just Drained The Bottle And Wanted A Few Last Drops So Now I'm Sucking On The Snake, And Whoa That Sounded Dirty
Lesson #1709 - Reasoning . . . . . Denial And Confidence, Partners That Go Hand In Hand. There's A Buddy Cop Show In That Somewhere
Lesson #1708 - Speaker-Audience Interaction . . . . . Rotten Tomatoes In Every Direction
Lesson #1707 - Hell, Part II . . . . . Just Be Careful Not To Trip On The Path, The Good Intentions That They Use To Fill In The Potholes Don't Last Very Long
Lesson #1706 - Airline Instructions . . . . . The Grizzly Is Now Free To Roam About The Cabin
Lesson #1705 - Joke Longevity . . . . . On The Other Hand, People Eventually Stop Trying To Break In And Get You
Lesson #1704 - Cosplaying . . . . . The Costume Is The Easy Part, It's The Nonstop Act That's A Little Difficult
Lesson #1703 - Thoughts While Traveling . . . . . Coming To You While Lying Dazed On A Hotel Room Floor
Lesson #1702 - Histories (Bracket Week V) . . . . . Undefeated, Infinite Number Of Games Played
Lesson #1701 - Exam Stress (Bracket Week V) . . . . . AND NOW MY CALCULATOR JUST LIT ITSELF ON FIRE, THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME OR MY GRADE NOW, I QUIT BUT WILL ARGUE ABOUT MY GRADE WITH YOU LATER

Lesson #1700 - Known (Bracket Week V) . . . . . That's What Making 1700 Of These Feels Like, By The Way
Lesson #1699 - Lost Loves (Bracket Week V) . . . . . Boo
Lesson #1698 - St. Patrick's Day . . . . . A Seven Course Meal Is A Six-Pack And A Potato And All That
Lesson #1697 - Pot Pies . . . . . No, Officer, This Pie Is Strictly Medicinal
Lesson #1696 - Horses . . . . . Horseburgers, Now Offered For A Limited Time At Mr. Ed's Animal Farm Eatery! Just Ask For Wilbur.
Lesson #1695 - The Mathematical Formula For Shameless Self-Promotion . . . . . Now Broadcasting In Infrared
Lesson #1694 - Chaos Theory . . . . . It's Just A Theory, I Can Say Whatever I Want, Right? That's How Theories Work? Like Gravity?
Lesson #1693 - Year Titles . . . . . Apologies To All Snakes Out There, I Hiss With You In Solidarity Or Something
Lesson #1692 - Raptor . . . . . Plus, By Yelling It, People Would Panic About Their Lack Of Afterlife And Forget To Help You Find The Thieves
Lesson #1691 - Worlds of Varying Softness . . . . . Somewhere Out There, The Carbon Planet People Are Wary Of Their Enemies, The Eraser Planet People

Lesson #1690 - Knot Secrets . . . . . You Could Also Call The Thief's Knot The "Raptor's Knot" And Then I Bet You'd Want To Know How To Tie One
Lesson #1689 - Overcompensating . . . . . I Bet People Take Incredible Offense To This After It Gets Rehosted And Don't Read What Is Underneath
Lesson #1688 - Weekend Cereal And Other Food . . . . . This Also Applies To Foods That Are Delicious But Gathering It For Preparation Can Be Hazardous To Your Health, Like An All-Grizzly Diet
Lesson #1687 - Vagrants . . . . . To Pretend To Faint Is "Chuck A Dummy", Because Hobos Used To Carry Around A Lot Of Dummies To Help Them Ride In The HOV Lane
Lesson #1686 - Multiverse Scenes . . . . . This Works Well As A Tip Of The Cap To Jon Rosenberg In More Ways Than One, Really
Lesson #1685 - Octopus Delicacies . . . . . If You Could Watch Those Videos Without Getting Shivers Or The Willies (Whatever Term You Prefer), Good For You And You Win A Prize
Lesson #1684 - Slingshotted Girls (and Boys) . . . . . At Our Camp, We Used To Have A Weekly Catapult Building Competition. Then Some Troops Started Cutting Down Decades-Old Trees For The Wood. So, That Quickly Ended
Lesson #1683 - Comical Dinosaurs . . . . . Have Some Respect For The Dead, Please, Who Brings A Joke Book To A Funeral
Lesson #1682 - Bad Machines . . . . . Would Have Referenced The Roziere Hot Air Balloon That Burst Into Flames Carrying Its Inventor, But Figured Not Enough Of You Would Know What A Roziere Balloon Was, You Philistines
Lesson #1681 - Question The Content . . . . . People With The Greatest Amount Of Bluster Often Have The Most Pintsize Understanding Of Actuality

Lesson #1680 - The Afterlife, Part II . . . . . Space Sometimes Gets Called 'The Heavens', And Apparently That Was Appropriate, But Who Knew The Norse Gods Now Reside Just Past The Asteroid Belt?
Lesson #1679 - Birthday Greetings . . . . . Get Your Fried Placenta On A Stick, Get It While They're Hot, Placenta On A Stick For Everybody
Lesson #1678 - Culinary Etymology . . . . . Stick That Turkey In Me, I Have To Gorge Myself Or The Aliens Will Be Angry
Lesson #1677 - Sleep-Training . . . . . As Opposed To Engineers Taking Naps While Careening Down The Tracks, That'd Just Be Irresponsible
Lesson #1676 - Beans . . . . . Prefried Beans: They're Magical!
Lesson #1675 - Eyes . . . . . Can Bionic Eyes Still Get Bloodshot? Or Is It A Different Color To Reflect The Electricity?
Lesson #1674 - Helpful People . . . . . Some Scientist Create The Speed Force Already, Come ON, What Are You Waiting For, Start Being Careless In The Lab Already
Lesson #1673 - Scientific Truth . . . . . No, See, You Did It Wrong, It Started When You Ignored Math And Just Kept Going From There
Lesson #1672 - Your Music . . . . . It's Like He Or She Was Singing To You Personally, How Could They Have Known You Oh So Well, It's Like You Have A Musical Stalker
Lesson #1671 - Climate Change . . . . . This Dock Is Ruined, Let's Build Another One

Lesson #1670 - Nuts . . . . . Where's My Mallet
Lesson #1669 - White Wedding . . . . . It's A Good Day For It
Lesson #1668 - The Brain . . . . . Wait, Ladies, Come Back, Let's Talk About Books Or Something And Hey, Do You Want To Come Back To My Place, By Which I Mean Come With Me To The Local Library?
Lesson #1667 - Valentine's Day Song . . . . . La La La La Tra Laaaaaaa
Lesson #1666 - Popes, Part II . . . . . There Have Been A Surprising Number Of Urbans, Though. Totally On Board With Another Pope Urban. You Should Be Too
Lesson #1665 - Popes, Part I . . . . . And Cannonball Will Serve As My Running Mate For The Office Of Biff!
Lesson #1664 - Cockroaches . . . . . Ya No Puede Limpiar
Lesson #1663 - Snow Angels . . . . . We Were Fine As A Species. Until They Figured Out How To Make More Of Themselves
Lesson #1662 - Blizzard . . . . . And Not The Dairy Queen Dessert, You Jerk
Lesson #1661 - Snowfall, Part II . . . . . This All Seems Part Of The Homosexual Agenda. First, Our Outdated Social Culture, Next, Our Precipitation, Tomorrow, The World

Lesson #1660 - The Conspiracies Conspiracy . . . . . Big Tin Foil Should Not Be Messed With, They Cut Through Their Opponents With A Razor Edge
Lesson #1659 - Exam Troubles . . . . . An Exam's Gravitational Pull Is To The Right Side Of That Chart
Lesson #1658 - Personal Rubicons . . . . . The Title Also Refers To How I Viewed That TV Show, Clearly I Was The Only One Watching And Enjoying It, Curse You All
Lesson #1657 - Gruntled . . . . . Ahhhhhhh. Note: That's A Relaxed Ahhhhhhh, Not A Scream.
Lesson #1656 - Fake Meats . . . . . Any Errors You Read In Today's STW Can Be Blamed On The Baby Presently Crawling All Over Me
Lesson #1655 - Groundhogs . . . . . Today, The Groundhog Saw His Own Shadow, Panicked, Attacked It, And Killed It, Thus Beginning A Thousand Years Of Winter
Lesson #1654 - Opinions . . . . . Oh, Just Go Stew On It Until The Next Time You Can Cast A Vote
Lesson #1653 - Company . . . . . Do You Think We're Wearing Matching Clothes? That'd Be Unfortunate
Lesson #1652 - Antidotes . . . . . Oh, You Already Knew All About Bezoars Because Of Harry Potter? Well, How Wooooonnnndddderful For Youuuuuuuu{.} Please Note I'm Being Sarcastic If You Haven't Learned Of Sarcasm Punctuation Bracketing Yet. Alas For You.
Lesson #1651 - Lobsters . . . . . Imagine A Religion Devoted To Lobsters? Immortal Beings That You Eat And Take Into Yourself? Are We Sure Jesus Is Supposed To Come Back As Human?

Lesson #1650 - Canine Evolution . . . . . Now, Please, Have Some More Homefries, I Mean Only The Best And Soon You'll Agree
Lesson #1649 - Rules of the Digital Age . . . . . Pretty Sweet Mustache I've Grown Overnight, Though, Huh? Hellooooooo, Ladies. And Gentlemen, Too, Why Not
Lesson #1648 - Crying . . . . . Oh, This 'I've Fallen Over And Can't Get Up Because I Don't Know How To Walk Or Even Get Up For That Matter' Act Is Such A Show
Lesson #1647 - Science in the Air . . . . . Oh, Wait, That's Chloroform (faint)
Lesson #1646 - Knowing Better . . . . . The Trade-off Was All The Adventures You've Been Able To Have, And Weren't Those Fun? Especially That Time You Went And Ate A Hot Dog, Boy Was That Great Fun
Lesson #1645 - Creeping People Out, Part XV . . . . . Did I Say My Name Was Matt Locke? I Meant Cal. Cal Umbo.
Lesson #1644 - Science, Then and Now . . . . . And Krakens!
Lesson #1643 - Hairstyles . . . . . Flowhawk: A Hairstyle Consisting Strictly Of Piping
Lesson #1642 - Coffee Math . . . . . d^2(Coffee)/d(time)^2 = Intestinal Acceleration?
Lesson #1641 - Coffee's Role . . . . . If It Wasn't For Coffee, You'd Have To Ask Someone If They Wanted A Soda Pop Sometime, And Come On, That'd Go Nowhere

Lesson #1640 - Unusual Plants . . . . . A Rib Garden, That'd Actually Get Me To Go Weeding Instead Of Just Running Over The Garden With The Mower
Lesson #1639 - Factuality . . . . . You Can Stop Insisting Unless You've Got Something To Hide
Lesson #1638 - Unusual Instruments . . . . . How About The Hamonica? It's A Sandwich That You Use To Play "Oh Susanna"
Lesson #1637 - Cat Lives . . . . . Poor Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Horace, How That Cat Framed You So Effectively Is Still Inconceivable, It's Like You Really Did Commit The Crime
Lesson #1636 - Quantum Immortality . . . . . YOU CAN NEVER GET ME, RAISIN DEMONS, I WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO PURSUE YOU TO THE ENDS
Lesson #1635 - The Spoils of War . . . . . I Don't Want To Know The Actual History Or Origin Anymore
Lesson #1634 - Anthropology . . . . . Major League Anthropology Can Never Get Their Highlights On Sportscenter Though, It's Kind Of Sad
Lesson #1633 - Wrinkly Fingers . . . . . 2013: The Year I Wage All-Out PR War On Any Raisin's Good Name
Lesson #1632 - Units . . . . . Someone Was Drunk When Coming Up With These Names, Either That Or Coughly Profusely
Lesson #1631 - Cartilage . . . . . My Knee Needs A Bigger Boat

Lesson #1630 - Danger And Glory . . . . . This Downton Abbey Episode Is Really Getting My Heart Perilously Racing, I Best Watch Out
Lesson #1629 - Other Ways To Learn . . . . . Wait, I Needed That Bit Of Information! Aw Man, Now I've Forgotten Where I Live, But That Book Knows
Lesson #1628 - The Truth . . . . . You Can Handle It If You Beat It Into Submission Long Enough
Lesson #1627 - Coffee Lovers, Part II . . . . . Coffee Should Be Bitter Like Sibling Rivalry
Lesson #1626 - Ordinary . . . . . I'm Not Sure There's A More True Venn Diagram
Lesson #1625 - The Sound Of Coffee . . . . . Another Whole New Meaning To French Vanilla! Letting Coffee French Your Ear, Now That's Love
Lesson #1624 - Medical Research . . . . . You Don't Think I Can Drink You Under The Table? I'll Take That Bet. First, Pass The Motor Oil
Lesson #1623 - Resolution Solution . . . . . My Other Resolution Is To Not Make Any More Lesson Titles As Terrible As This One
Lesson #1622 - New Year's Hope . . . . . A Toast, Then! Wait, Why Are You Lifting That Slice Of Bread?
Lesson #1621 - Albums . . . . . Wait, How Does That Song I Like So Much Last An Hour, Not Three Or Four Minutes? Oh, Right

Lesson #1620 - Hindsight Reporting . . . . . Wait, But Do Look At Me And Look How Righteous I'm Being! Aren't I An Inspiration!
Lesson #1619 - Fun With Cats, Part II . . . . . Hairball Revenge, Sure To Come
Lesson #1618 - The States, Part III . . . . . Perhaps People Look Like Pens AND Vampires, And People Here Are Hunted By Bicula?
Lesson #1617 - Christmas Remnants . . . . . We Should Be Using Fruitcake, Not Bricks Or Wood, To Build Our Buildings
Lesson #1616 - A Christmas Wish For You . . . . . Peace And Joy Tastes Better Covered In Syrup
Lesson #1615 - Christmas Folklore, Part III . . . . . My Favorite Is Sausage-Swiper, But I Can't Blame You If You Prefer Stubby
Lesson #1614 - Christmas History . . . . . Merry Christmas, Now Put Your Back In To It And Get To Work
Lesson #1613 - Christmas Folklore, Part II . . . . . Surprising This Hasn't Caught On Everywhere
Lesson #1612 - Christmas Folklore . . . . . You Think This Is Bad? We Haven't Even Gotten In To Black Peter Yet
Lesson #1611 - Gift Giving . . . . . Here You Go, It's A Back Massager, I'm Sure You Needed One Or Something

Lesson #1610 - Christmas Cookies . . . . . Really, I Expected A Death Star, This Is Far More Clever, You Aliens You
Lesson #1609 - Candy Canes . . . . . And Then You Go And Eat Their House? What Kind Of Being Are You?
Lesson #1608 - Santa's Workshop . . . . . Perhaps It Exists On The Astral Plane? Maybe That Helps Strengthen The Possible Existence Of Elves
Lesson #1607 - Fortunes . . . . . You Don't Deserve Lucky Numbers But Here They Are Anyway
Lesson #1606 - Canine Shame . . . . . It Could Not Possibly Have Been That Tasty
Lesson #1605 - Words Of Encouragement . . . . . Um . . . Break A Brain Synapse?
Lesson #1604 - Grading . . . . . If This Intimidates My Students, It's Their Own Fault For Reading This
Lesson #1603 - Remarkable Dates . . . . . We Could Get More On Board By Letting Them Know About 69/69/69
Lesson #1602 - Christmas Crime . . . . . There's An APB Out On Krampus
Lesson #1601 - Vegas . . . . . What Goes On There Really Does Stay There, And By That We Mean The Transmission Of Funds

Lesson #1600 - Life, Student's Perspective . . . . . The Student Existential Crisis: Potentially Fake Having Solved The Problem Until The Semester Ends
Lesson #1599 - Marketing . . . . . Yes, I'll Have A Low-Fat Sugar-Free Venti Concencreation With Soy Milk And Sprinkles
Lesson #1598 - Rumballs . . . . . Screw Gingerbread, Rumballs Are The Best Christmas "Cookie"
Lesson #1597 - Engineering . . . . . In The Image? Just A Hammer With Extra Torque
Lesson #1596 - Generations . . . . . Alas
Lesson #1595 - Medicine . . . . . Amazingly Enough, Name Brand Laughterex Is Forty Times More Expensive That Generic Laughterol
Lesson #1594 - Real Life Fairy Tales . . . . . I Have To Change My Name To Briar Rose? . . . Well, OK, I Can Deal With That. Where's My Pillow?
Lesson #1593 - Bible Readers . . . . . Happy Advent, Hatemailers. Bring It On
Lesson #1592 - Animal Testing . . . . . Within An Hour, The Next Town Over Had Painted A Target, And A New Sports League Had Been Invented
Lesson #1591 - Drinking Early . . . . . It's Also Ten PM Somewhere, And You're Already Drunk

Lesson #1590 - Bribery . . . . . Well, Maybe I'll Curve The Exam Or Something
Lesson #1589 - Diets . . . . . At Least You'd Have An Excuse For Wearing Fur
Lesson #1588 - Baby Food, Part II . . . . . Permanent Markers In Food Form, Hurray!
Lesson #1587 - Coffee Love . . . . . What Is Wrong With Me? Oh, So, So Much
Lesson #1586 - Tradition . . . . . You Are In Control Of The New-Retro
Lesson #1585 - Historians . . . . . Alas, By The Time The Manatees Calmed Things Down, The Mermaids Had Already Permanently Fled To The Marianas Trench, And The Unicorns Would Not Survive Another Month
Lesson #1584 - Black Friday . . . . . And Now, 80 Percent Off All Sales If You Bring Forth A Human Sacrifice!
Lesson #1583 - Turkey Alternatives . . . . . Tofrackey: A Turkey With Connections To The Natural Gas Industry
Lesson #1582 - Flavoring . . . . . From An Alternative Timeline, PETD Is Already Protesting This Comic
Lesson #1581 - Bacon . . . . . The Bacatnator?

Lesson #1580 - Creeping People Out, Part XIV . . . . . Whoop Whoop Whoop Noise Not Required, Possibly Better Without, In Fact
Lesson #1579 - The Caternet . . . . . Five Billion Web Pages, And Nothing But Cats
Lesson #1578 - Interventions . . . . . Or At Least Until The Next Intervention We Need To Hold For You
Lesson #1577 - Clocktowers . . . . . Some People Used To Sarcastically Shout Back "Thanks" At Me, I Would Return Their Comment By Shouting "You Are Welcome And Good Morrow To You"
Lesson #1576 - All The News . . . . . . . . And We Need Them So We Can Wrap Fish!
Lesson #1575 - Exams . . . . . If An Exam Is Like A Prostitute, Some People Actually Get Their Money Refunded To Them By The Prostitute For Their Performance, And Some People Are Arrested By An Undercover Cop
Lesson #1574 - Blood Donors . . . . . What If The Red Cross Is Run By Werewolves And Not Vampires? Would We Have Seen That Coming?
Lesson #1573 - Baby Food . . . . . I Have To Admit, Though, This Green Bean Chaser Isn't Bad
Lesson #1572 - Band Names . . . . . They're Also Quite Skilled At The Trumpet, In Theory
Lesson #1571 - Inherent Creepiness . . . . . So THAT'S Why There's A Kids' Table

Lesson #1570 - Bar Etiquette . . . . . Finger Pistols Are Optional
Lesson #1569 - Persistency . . . . . There's Actually More To The "Try, Try Again" Quote, But Let's Just Ignore That For Now
Lesson #1568 - Storm Names . . . . . Can I Be Elected To This Position? That'd Be Worth Me Spending Six Billion Dollars On
Lesson #1567 - Political Nonsense . . . . . An Absurdity In Science Is Called Human Error
Lesson #1566 - A Brief Respite . . . . . Woof!
Lesson #1565 - Political Ads . . . . . We Went Far Off-Board To The Right Of That Plot A LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG Time Ago
Lesson #1564 - Razors . . . . . STOP WAVING THAT THING AROUND, HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE
Lesson #1563 - Reasons To Vote . . . . . Sometimes Pissing People Off Is A Better Motivator
Lesson #1562 - Election Season . . . . . And All The Blood And Candy! Oh, The Horror.
Lesson #1561 - Halloween For Parents . . . . . The Houses That Give Out Full Bars To The Kids Would Have More Expensive Adult Equivalent, Though

Lesson #1560 - Spooky Stories . . . . . Oh No, Not A Fear
Lesson #1559 - Halloween Candy . . . . . "No, You See, The Razor Blades In The Cookies Weren't To Hurt The Children, They Were To Keep Me From Eating Them! I Just Forgot To Take Them Out."
Lesson #1558 - Poorly Conceived Costume Ideas . . . . . I Imagine You Start Off As A Perfectly Healthy Earth, Then End The Night Having Lit Yourself On Fire
Lesson #1557 - Ghostly Hauntings . . . . . They're Not Trying To Scare You, They Just Want You To Change The Channel, Their Show Is On
Lesson #1556 - Frightening Creatures . . . . . Then There's The Other Disgusting Relation, Who You Can Probably Guess And Doesn't Really Need To Be Said Here, Does It?
Lesson #1555 - Simple Creepy Costumes . . . . . "But What Really Bothers Me Is That He Drank All The Good Beer!"
Lesson #1554 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part IV . . . . . Probably Just As Easily Purchased From The Salvation Army As Whatever You Were Originally Planning
Lesson #1553 - Undecided Voters . . . . . Bigfoot Always Votes The Party Line
Lesson #1552 - Experimental Hazards . . . . . Should Have Known Better Than To Do The Experiment In An Open Field During A Thunderstorm, Though
Lesson #1551 - Autumn, Part III . . . . . Pumpkin Spice Sexual Lubricant!

Lesson #1550 - Autumn, Part II . . . . . We're All In Violation Of The Good Samaritan Law, Watching And Encouraging Other Living Things To Die
Lesson #1549 - Coffee Lovers . . . . . CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Lesson #1548 - Similar Experiences . . . . . And Unfortunately, You Can Fail Both
Lesson #1547 - Weird Lives . . . . . "How Bizarre . . . Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo, How Bizarre, How Bizarree OOOOOH BABY"
Lesson #1546 - Panic . . . . . I Call This Move The "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
Lesson #1545 - Outlooks On Life . . . . . Practicality Should Really Be Called "Inverse Insanity"
Lesson #1544 - Spelling . . . . . Really, It's In There, Read Between The Letters
Lesson #1543 - Changing Of The Seasons . . . . . Let's Focus On The Garage Today
Lesson #1542 - Failed Pick-Up Lines, Part II . . . . . Actually, That Version Of Physical Chemistry Makes More Sense To Me Than Whatever The Class Was About
Lesson #1541 - Understanding, Non-Existent . . . . . Probably Shouldn't Write That Into The Homework Solutions, Hmmmmmm

Lesson #1540 - Failed Pick-Up Lines . . . . . Gee, I Can't Understand Why None Of The Ladies Are Into Me
Lesson #1539 - Strange Behavior . . . . . Oooooooooooooooooctober
Lesson #1538 - Not Cat People . . . . . Hey, C'mon, Cats, I'm Just Kidding, This Pot Isn't Really Meant For You. I Would Eat You Raw
Lesson #1537 - Loons . . . . . A Loon Full Of Sugar Helps The Medigull Go Down
Lesson #1536 - Cellars . . . . . Boo
Lesson #1535 - Raw Products . . . . . Sea Captains, Often Saddened At Their Mussed Hair, May Have Already Used The Shrimp Before Your Scampi Reach Shore
Lesson #1534 - Exam Time . . . . . DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED
Lesson #1533 - Back Pain . . . . . Double That With Being Almost Thirty, And Yay, Let The Depression Set In
Lesson #1532 - You Must Read This Book . . . . . BUT NOT "ANTHEM"
Lesson #1531 - You Versus An English Major . . . . . I Hope English Majors Call Books Their "Foreword Fathers", But That's Just Me

Lesson #1530 - Creeping People Out, Part XIII . . . . . That Build-A-Bear Had It Coming, It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before It Ate Somebody
Lesson #1529 - Elevators . . . . . Oh, Charlie, Your Elevator Was So Much Better, If Only All Of Them Were Like Yours. Without The Aliens, Though, I Suppose
Lesson #1528 - Really Good Looks . . . . . The Puppy's Name Was Spot
Lesson #1527 - Good Friends, Part II . . . . . This Is Not Hating On Cats. Perhaps This Is Just Rating People On Whether Or Not They Are Willing To Clean Your Goatee With Their Tongues, Have You Considered That? No, Of Course You Did Not
Lesson #1526 - Good Friends, Part I . . . . . Talk About Rewriting History
Lesson #1525 - True History . . . . . "Why Are They Upset At My Offer Of Cake? Do They Prefer Pie?"
Lesson #1524 - Cannibalism . . . . . It Was Instinct, I Swear. And Hunger
Lesson #1523 - Aches and Pains . . . . . Just Coat Me And My Bath In Taco Spice, Then Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done
Lesson #1522 - Fire Hydrants . . . . . Dogs Also Have Far Less Of A Problem With You Using Their Bathrooms
Lesson #1521 - Home Protection, Part III . . . . . "Caution: Bears" Is Potentially Scarier, But Less Realistic, So Therefore Less Effective. "Caution: Spiders" On The Other Hand . . .

Lesson #1520 - Head Colds . . . . . Yes Yes Right Away Ugh
Lesson #1519 - Chaos . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR ENTROPY GOD, IT'S GOING TO MAKE THINGS NUTS ANYWAY
Lesson #1518 - Science . . . . . Certain Scientists Are Just Detectives With The Same Amount Of Blood, Though
Lesson #1517 - Conversation Location . . . . . What Is Wrong With People, Didn't Anyone Teach You Anything When You Were Kids
Lesson #1516 - New Parents, Part V . . . . . NO NO DON'T EAT THE SAND
Lesson #1515 - Fridge Theism . . . . . Please Don't Slaughter Or Bully Innocents Just Because You Disagree With My Cleaning Methods
Lesson #1514 - Dramatic Equations . . . . . If Sparks Were Shooting Out Of My Hand, That Would Have Been Even Better
Lesson #1513 - Punks . . . . . Information Age Punks, I'm Sure Everyone Behind A Computer Already Believes They Are A Part Of That
Lesson #1512 - Coffee Supply . . . . . It Doesn't Feel Like There's A Pizza Party Going On In My Brain And In My Heart, I Clearly Need More
Lesson #1511 - Plant Care . . . . . "Have Some Aphids, Boy." (days later) "WHAT HAPPENED?"

Lesson #1510 - Offices . . . . . "After All, You Don't Discriminate Against Human-Plant Hybrids, Do You?"
Lesson #1509 - Native Environment . . . . . Wait, How Can Chalkboards Mate? Where Are Their- You Know What, Never Mind
Lesson #1508 - Shipping Supplies . . . . . Cardboard Is Like An Non-Lethal Goiter
Lesson #1507 - Stupid Questions . . . . . On The Other Hand, I Am Now Dumber For Having Heard That, And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul
Lesson #1506 - Classroom Etiquette . . . . . Smashy Smashy
Lesson #1505 - Teachers, Part II . . . . . He Who Laughs The Loudest Gets The 4.0
Lesson #1504 - Fruit For The Teacher . . . . . Now Blackberries, On The Other Hand, Those Are Probably Up In The Top Right, But They've Not As Common Everywhere, I Suppose
Lesson #1503 - Teachers . . . . . Plus, Brain Wrinkles Add Texture, Which Is Far Too Often Overlooked In Fine Dining
Lesson #1502 - Freeganism . . . . . Wait, Is That Salt On That Pretzel Or Mold? Oh, It's Ants, Never Mind, That's Good Protein
Lesson #1501 - Naps . . . . . Stupid Laser Dot Won't Stay Still Long Enough For Us To Try It

Lesson #1500 - Chalkboards . . . . . Probably Suffering White Lung, At This Point
Lesson #1499 - True Meaning . . . . . Not Surprisingly, Kissing Food/Coffee Is A Lot Like Kissing An Inanimate Object
Lesson #1498 - Understanding, True Or Not . . . . . They Wouldn't Say It If It Weren't True In Someone's Mind, And That Someone Just Might Be Me! My Listening Is Important!
Lesson #1497 - Terminology . . . . . There's Hemp Rope, Why Can't There Be Ham Rope?
Lesson #1496 - Intolerance . . . . . I Suppose I Can't Blame Them For Supporting Good Ol' Neanderthal Values. Oh Wait, Yes I Can
Lesson #1495 - The Moon . . . . . Someday Soon, I Hope
Lesson #1494 - Apartment Living . . . . . And This Was Supposed To Be Such A Nice Area! I'm Sure The Dog Feels Bad About It
Lesson #1493 - Scientific Experts . . . . . Your Wealth Is Probably Equivalent To My Degrees, Though
Lesson #1492 - Humanity . . . . . Technically, It Was Just Hot Air, I Really Couldn't See It Coming
Lesson #1491 - Labcoats For All . . . . . When I Originally Bought Labcoats To Sell, There Was A Style Called "Nude Fit", Which Just Seems Like A Bad Idea

Lesson #1490 - Mathematical Calculations . . . . . Both Want To Shout Ta-Da, Though, And Who Can Blame Them
Lesson #1489 - New Parents, Part IV . . . . . Om Nom Nom Palm
Lesson #1488 - Moving . . . With Pets . . . . . Not Surprisingly, The Turtle Is Least Vocal In Complaining, Although It Will Likely Pee On Me Later, Although That Will Be More Out Of Spite Than Revenge
Lesson #1487 - Fathers and Fiction . . . . . QED Is A Far More Fun Logical Term When You Use It To Mean Other Things. Quite Excellent, Dante! Quietly Egotistical, Dinosaur! And So On
Lesson #1486 - Dinosaur Sounds . . . . . If You Throw Your Hands To The Sides Of Their Faces Just Right, Just When They Spit Up, It Increases The Effect, Although It Makes You Wayne Knight
Lesson #1485 - The Importance of Proper Punctuation . . . . . Commas, Commas, Roly Poly Commas, Commas, Commas, Eat Them Up, Yum
Lesson #1484 - Dinner Creations . . . . . Similar Meals Available All This Week In My Kitchen! Stop On By To Take It Off Our Hands And Our Tastebuds!
Lesson #1483 - Meaning and Intent, Part II . . . . . What A Lovely Pipe-Cleaner Creation, Let Me Put It In This Drawer
Lesson #1482 - Feline Idioms . . . . . ". . . I'm Waiting . . ."
Lesson #1481 - Olympic Preparation . . . . . "Is That His Tenth Lap Today?"

Lesson #1480 - Gameplan . . . . . The Best Televised Debate Ever
Lesson #1479 - The States, Part II . . . . . I May Need To Redo This Comic While Sitting On A Stonewall By Farmland
Lesson #1478 - The States, Part I . . . . . Some People Say Maine Is Along The Coast, But When The Concentration Of Long-Time Natives Drops Too Far, It Loses Its Real State Feel. Too Many Transplants There. You Need To Get Up Into The Wilderness. The Greater The Potential For Stephen King Horrors, The Better!
Lesson #1477 - Olympic History, Part IV . . . . . Voila, A Masterpiece, Now Give Me The Gold
Lesson #1476 - Cutlery . . . . . Do They Make Salad Sporfs?
Lesson #1475 - Olympic History, Part III . . . . . It Is A Little Strange That They Haven't Brought It Back, Though, Right? Beach Volleyball Is An Event But Tug-Of-War Isn't? Bizarre
Lesson #1474 - Olympic Improvements . . . . . It Would Make The Olympics A Real . . . Laser Show (OK, I'll Be Quiet Now)
Lesson #1473 - Moving Tips . . . . . This Is The Real Important Stuff To Consider, Also A Lot Easier To Hide That Goat Among The Other Furry Livestock
Lesson #1472 - Olympic History, Part II . . . . . "So When Is Your Event?" "On The Ninetieth Day Of The Olympics." ". . . Wait, What?"
Lesson #1471 - Aquatic Discoveries . . . . . Completely Forgot Christopher Moore Based A Book Partly Around This Until After I Made The Comic. 'Fluke' Is A Good Book - Go Find It At Your Local Library!

Lesson #1470 - Olympic History, Part I . . . . . Also Different - They Only Gave Out Medals For First And Second! Sucks To Be You, Third Place Finisher And First Place LOSER
Lesson #1469 - Names . . . . . If I Was Him? I Go By Xerxes For Short. Isn't That The Best Single Part Of His Name Or Am I Wrong?
Lesson #1468 - Cat Hair . . . . . Hell, We Can Go Four-Dimensional
Lesson #1467 - Manual Labor . . . . . No Sweat? Labor Some More! And Some More!
Lesson #1466 - The Olympic Spirit . . . . . Back When Shame Did Not Exist
Lesson #1465 - Working Towards Equality . . . . . Hammers Can Be Intelligently Designed, Too, I Suppose
Lesson #1464 - Legally Speaking . . . . . Classification From Your Chest Makes It A "Xyphoid Arm"
Lesson #1463 - Solutions . . . . . You Could Say A Squid, But Those Have Spikes In The Tentacles, And That's Much Harder To Explain
Lesson #1462 - Cellular Beginnings . . . . . Some People, It's The Humerus. Get It?
Lesson #1461 - Drugs . . . . . Whole Flowchart Could Probably Loop Around A Couple Times, Too

Lesson #1460 - Haters . . . . . If You Hate Someone's Face, Promise To Lend Them Yours Once Face/Off Technology Comes Through
Lesson #1459 - Musicians . . . . . I WILL ROCK YOU, WITH MY FACE
Lesson #1458 - A Baby's Joy . . . . . Am I Wearing Shorts Or Underwear Underneath The Labcoat? All Signs Point To YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
Lesson #1457 - Relationships . . . . . A Barracuda? REALLY?
Lesson #1456 - Data . . . . . Someone Needs To Check His/Her Theologicalculus
Lesson #1455 - Fossil Fuels . . . . . Is It Possible To Donate Your Body To Science So It Can Be Used In A Windmill? Like Fuse My Bones Into Windmill Blades? Just Asking
Lesson #1454 - New Scientists, Part II . . . . . Just Don't Be The Checked Luggage. You Thought It Got Cold In The Luggage Compartment Of An Airplane? Space Shuttle Is Just A Little Bit Colder
Lesson #1453 - Defensive Gameplans . . . . . LET ME OUT OF HERE
Lesson #1452 - Rebranding . . . . . Songs By The Band Cake Are Great In Silent Karaoke, To Be Fair
Lesson #1451 - The New Watercooler . . . . . Give It Ten Years, Kids Won't Know What Watercoolers Or Telephones With Cords Are Anymore

Lesson #1450 - Cuteness . . . . . Old Pets Can Be Cute, They Are The Exception
Lesson #1449 - Marco Polo . . . . . Any Restaurant That Doesn't Serve A Heavily Spiced Chicken Entree Called Marco Pollo Is A Disgrace To Restaurants Everywhere
Lesson #1448 - Home Run Calls . . . . . Uno! . . . Um, Last Card? Um, Ok, I'll Stop Now
Lesson #1447 - Self-Realization . . . . . This Is Going To Be Misinterpreted, Isn't It? Horribly Misinterpreted, Probably
Lesson #1446 - New Parents, Part III . . . . . My Time Is Not My Own Anymore
Lesson #1445 - Colorblindness . . . . . WHAT IS HAPPENING
Lesson #1444 - Mostly Full . . . . . In The Meantime, Look At Those Awesome Clouds
Lesson #1443 - Definitions, Part XXII . . . . . My Chest Hair Is Only Showing Because I'm Wearing A Tube Top Very Low On My Torso I MEAN WHAT NEVER MIND
Lesson #1442 - The Fourth of July . . . . . WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
Lesson #1441 - Body Enhancement . . . . . "Look, Mom, I Know You Hate The Gills, But Would You Rather I Have Gotten Transparent Skin Instead?"

Lesson #1440 - "Meow" . . . . . How Did You Get A Machete?
Lesson #1439 - Power Outages, Part II . . . . . The Hero They Need, Not The Hero The Necessarily Want Mainly Because They Are Non-Sentient
Lesson #1438 - Power Outages . . . . . I Really Need To Do Some Yardwork
Lesson #1437 - Life, Calculated . . . . . Particularly Pleased With The First Term In The Equation; Will Admit The "O" Was A Last-Second Consideration To Be Added; Fifty Bonus Points On Your Homework If You Figure Out What Everything Stands For
Lesson #1436 - Romantic Sayings . . . . . Not Everything Needs To Be Said Ironically
Lesson #1435 - Claim To Fame . . . . . There Are Ranks For English Majors, Too, We'll Think Of Some, Don't Worry, You Won't Be Left Out
Lesson #1434 - Forward-Thinking . . . . . Suffice To Say It's A Clever Trick To Create The Image That One Generation Was Coddled And Spoiled, Because That's How Another Generation Wanted To Raise Them, In Order To Be Able To Make Certain Judgments On The Younger Generation's Opportunity For Amenities Previously Available To The Older Generation
Lesson #1433 - Cheesecake . . . . . No, Really, Please Call A Chiropractor
Lesson #1432 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part X . . . . . Have A Bouquet Of GETTING STUNG IN THE FACE
Lesson #1431 - Alan Turing . . . . . Would Have Raised A Glass While Looking Up, But He Was An Atheist, And That Felt Wrong

Lesson #1430 - Positive Outlook . . . . . OH GOD WHERE DID THIS SQUID COME FROM I LIVE IN KANSAS
Lesson #1429 - Spiritual Guide . . . . . If A Turtle Can Be Your Spirit Animal, Well, His Species Is "Cookie Monster", Therefore Cookie Monster Can Be Your Spirit Animal
Lesson #1428 - Knees . . . . . Will Betray The Human Race For Some Bionic Knees
Lesson #1427 - Lulling To Sleep . . . . . Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lesson #1426 - Reception . . . . . The Lack Of Otter-Puppy Hybrids In This Reality Is As Disappointing As The Lack Of Platypus Comedians, Which Is To Say, It's Really Disappointing
Lesson #1425 - Fatherly Advice . . . . . Techinically, In At Least An Infinite Number Of Other Universes, You Too Are A Father, Whether You're Male Or Female Or Whatever In This Universe, So, Hey, Happy Father's Day To You, Too
Lesson #1424 - New Parents, Part II . . . . . Man, Wait Until She Can Handle Watermelon Seeds
Lesson #1423 - Dropping the Mic . . . . . STW Can Not Be Held Responsible For Your School Deciding To Withhold Your Diploma Based On Your Mic Actions At Graduation
Lesson #1422 - Monster Bites, Part II . . . . . Ba-dum-bum, I Guess
Lesson #1421 - Phrase Origins . . . . . Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes But I Should Probably Mention That Baby Is The Name Of My Horse

Lesson #1420 - Spy Cats . . . . . This Is How Sci Fi Channel Movies Get Proposed, People
Lesson #1419 - Heat . . . . . UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Lesson #1418 - Sign-Spinning . . . . . It's All Fun And Advertising Until Someone Gets Decapitated
Lesson #1417 - Legacy . . . . . Everything You Attempt To Add To It, You're Either Working With Bricks And Mortar Or With A Sledgehammer, And You Never Know Which It Is Until You're Finished
Lesson #1416 - Monster Bites . . . . . If You Are Bit By A Witch, First Of All, That's Kind Of A Degrading Name For Your Girlfriend, And Secondly, Maybe She's Into That Kind Of Thing And Maybe You Should Just Ask Her About It
Lesson #1415 - Future Exploration . . . . . In Particular, "The Musicians" Has Always Stuck With Me, In Terms Of Short Stories From The Book
Lesson #1414 - True Friends . . . . . Wait, How Long Ago Did You Move Out Of Ohio? Oh, Come On, It Can't Be That Many Decades
Lesson #1413 - Weasels . . . . . "Tripping Over My Own Feet Is Part Of The Dance, Yes, Clearly You Know Nothing About Modern Dance"
Lesson #1412 - Fun and Games . . . . . If Mad Science Was An Actual Degree, You'd Be More Frightened
Lesson #1411 - New Scientists, Part I . . . . . And Why Not, They're Basically Making Dinosaur Noises From Birth

Lesson #1410 - Moon Hoaxes . . . . . And Please Keep Your Biped Beaver Jokes To Yourself
Lesson #1409 - People . . . . . Away With Your Chalk Of Other Colors, Away With You
Lesson #1408 - Anniversary, Part IV . . . . . It's Also Reported As The Linen Anniversary, But That Feels Like The Wrong Sexy Direction From The Third As The Leather, No?
Lesson #1407 - Learning Styles . . . . . Sprechen Sie Calc? Wait, Too Much Crossover
Lesson #1406 - Teaching Styles . . . . . Started To Make A "Boiled Knowledge"-"Key Points Distilled Out" Connection, But The Metaphor Was Falling Apart
Lesson #1405 - Parades . . . . . Be Kind To Your Fine Feathered Friends, For A Duck May Be Somebody's Mother
Lesson #1404 - New Parents . . . . . Badges Of Honor And Pride
Lesson #1403 - Unfortunate Potential . . . . . Immediate Criticsl Analysis, It's Hard To Do And That's Why We Get Misled
Guest Lecture #28 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #27 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #26 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #25 - Hallelujah the Hills
Guest Lecture #24 - Hallelujah the Hills
Lesson #1402 - Introductions . . . . . I Probably Shouldn't Be Here While This Is Going On, Just Let Me Step Away
Lesson #1401 - Definitions, Part XXI . . . . . Sometimes I'm Very Sorry About What My Parents And Other Relatives May Read On The Site

Lesson #1400 - Chess . . . . . Why, Yes, My Chess Set Is Made Of Pink Marble. What Of It?
Lesson #1399 - Renaming . . . . . Office Drone, On The Other Hand, Is A Terrible Term. A Lot Of Drones Are Unmanned These Days. Are You Saying Your Position Should Be Automated So That You Can Be Fired? Think, Man, Think!
Lesson #1398 - Arguing, Part II . . . . . Had An English Teacher Who Liked To Say, "The Man Who Raises His Hand In Anger Has Already Lost The Fight". It's Similar When It Comes To Arguments, Except It's More "The Man Who Raises His Voice In Idiocy Has Already Lost The Fight."
Lesson #1397 - Stupid Decisions . . . . . Stupid Decisions Commemoration Always Quickly Becomes An Anniversary Of Stupid Decisions From A Previous Year
Lesson #1396 - Relative Oldness . . . . . Back In My Day, I Was Ten Years Old And You Were An Infant, But Let Me Tell You, Things Were Way Different And You've Got It Really Easy
Lesson #1395 - Arguing . . . . . An Idiot Behind Every Keyboard
Lesson #1394 - Sleep-Deprivation . . . . . Thank You, Thank You, You're Too Kind
Lesson #1393 - Theorems . . . . . Look, I Don't Have To Understand Why It Works, It Just Does. You Don't Believe Me? Well, When Has Belief Ever Entered Into Math? HAH! Checkmate.
Lesson #1392 - Coordination . . . . . I've Got Raptor Attitude, I Don't Need A Raptor Outfit. I Don't Have A Stegosaurus Attitude, Though, As Much As I Wish. Why Are You Standing In My Way Of Capturing Certain Glory?
Lesson #1391 - Lessons For Children . . . . . Wondering If I Should Have Used "Bigot", If It's Too Weak Or Too Strong A Comic Because I Didn't/If I Had
Lesson #1390 - Spicy . . . . . Either That, Or People Are Very Timid When It Comes To Adding Spice, And Then Always Become Suddenly Very Clumsy
Lesson #1389 - Newborns . . . . . Could Be Worse. They Could All Look Like Stalin

Student Presentation #18 - Pastries
Student Presentation #17 - Party Drinking
Guest Lecture #23 - Rosscott
Guest Lecture #22 - Jessica Hagy
Guest Lecture #21 - Danielle Corsetto
Guest Lecture #20 - Zach Weiner
Guest Lecture #19 - Chris Yates
Student Presentation #16 - Potential
Student Presentation #15 - Teachers
Student Presentation #14 - Cooking
Student Presentation #13 - Fast Food
Student Presentation #12 - Confidence
Student Presentation #11 - Medium

Lesson #1388 - Birth . . . . . There's A Reason I Hadn't Shaved My Chin Since 2005, And You're Looking At It
Lesson #1387 - The Delivery . . . . . Really Proud Of The Double Meaning In The Opening, If I Do Say So Myself
Lesson #1386 - Fetus Measurements . . . . . For The Last Time, Stop Licking Your Lips While Conducting The Sonogram
Lesson #1385 - Multiple Children . . . . . Just Cross Your Fingers And Hope The Human Mom Doesn't Eat The Placenta Off The Child
Lesson #1384 - Contractions . . . . . I'm Kind Of Vamping On Pregnancy-Related Comics Right Now, Just So One's Running On The Day It Happens
Lesson #1383 - New Children . . . . . If Only You Could Have Seen The Cat's Face In This Comic, You Would Be Laughing Twice As Hard, That Is Assuming You Are Laughing At All
Lesson #1382 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part IX . . . . . WHY BRAIN WHY, WHY WOULD YOU BE SO CRUEL
Lesson #1381 - Fans . . . . . Someone Will Joke This Comic Is About Air Fans, To That Person I Offer A Friendly Roll Of The Eyes And Rescinding Any Comment About You Being Among The Best Fans

Lesson #1380 - Measurements . . . . . "Can't Swing A Dead Cat Without Hitting A (Blank)" Idiom Developed From The Well-Known Saying, "Can't Swing A Live Raccoon Without Getting Rabies"
Lesson #1379 - Jerks . . . . . Better Theorists Than I Will Be Able To Determine Jerk Diffusion, For Now I Will Limit My Studies To Concentrations And Solvents
Lesson #1378 - The Trouble With Pie Charts . . . . . Bar Graphs Will Be Disappointing To Them Unless They Already Grasp The Concept Of Hops
Lesson #1377 - Easter . . . . . Your Zombie Jesus Jokes Are Unoriginal And Not Wanted Here
Lesson #1376 - Dessert . . . . . ALL HAIL CAKE
Lesson #1375 - Pick-Up Methods . . . . . If You Swap Out The Cat For A Yippy Dog, A Pox On Your Potential Hook-Up If It Works, I Mean It, I Cast A Pox Down Upon You And I Hope It Burns
Lesson #1374 - Terrible Facial Hair . . . . . I Am Particularly Shaggy-Faced Right Now Because Of The "Baby Beard" I Am Growing Until Cannonball Emerges. Might Even Shave My Chin For The First Time In Seven Years To Mark The Occasion! Man, I Hope It Hasn't Evolved Basilisk Abilities While It's Been Hidden
Lesson #1373 - Learning . . . . . Man, I Hope You Can Actually Get Through It
Lesson #1372 - Television . . . . . Let's Not Get Started On Episode Recappers
Lesson #1371 - Sequel Titles . . . . . Best Movie Sequel Title Ever Might Be "Live Free Or Die Hard". Seriously.

Lesson #1370 - The Repercussions of Time Travel . . . . . When Going Back Into Your Previous Day, Would That Make It 'Yesternow'? In Any Case, That Needs To Be A Word In Everyone's Vernacular
Lesson #1369 - The Repercussions of Time Travel . . . . . When Going Back Into Your Previous Day, Would That Make It 'Yesternow'? In Any Case, That Needs To Be A Word In Everyone's Vernacular
Lesson #1368 - Age Groups . . . . . Wearing The Glasses Was A Cheap Shot, I Admit
Lesson #1367 - Pet Heaven . . . . . Neither Species Is Very Good At Playing Their Harps, But Cats Are Particularly Put Off By Being Given Wings
Lesson #1366 - Premature . . . . . Stay In, Cannonball Shepherd, Stay In!
Lesson #1365 - Irony, Part II . . . . . Weirdness Isn't Really A Superpower, Though, But That's Probably Just Because It's Not Channeled Properly
Lesson #1364 - Tiredness . . . . . Hast Thou Slain The Tiredness Monster? Oh Frabjous Day! Oh, Wait, Here Comes Another One
Lesson #1363 - Shame, Relations, and the Internet . . . . . There's A Good Control+Home+Shift Joke Somewhere, But I'm Not Coming Up With One
Lesson #1362 - Lyrics . . . . . To Be Fair, The Person Saying You've Got The Lyrics Wrong Is Also Getting Them Wrong
Lesson #1361 - Morning Showers . . . . . Just Be Careful To Balance The Coffee Temperature Just Right

Lesson #1360 - Hoarders . . . . . The Sad Thing Is The Addendum Accurately Described Several Alternate Universe Versions Of Myself. And Versions Of You. Hey, Elsewhere, We're Creepy Together.
Lesson #1359 - Other Interpretations, Part II . . . . . Yes, Yes, Your Statistics Are Very Nice, Oh, I See You Even Have A Maternity Test, But Why Would The Rhyme Exist If It Was Not True, Huh? Huh? HUH?
Lesson #1358 - Stopping Time . . . . . Stopping Time Is Just Another Variation On Super-Speed. See, I Told You That Was The Greatest Superpower
Lesson #1357 - Bats . . . . . If Someone With Bird Flu Fights Someone With Bat Flu, That Does Not Mean The Penguin Is Fighting Batman
Lesson #1356 - People . . . . . "People Are The Worst" Is Kind Of A Common Mantra Around theSwede, I'm Not Sure It's All That Calming But It Certainly Is A Little Too Easy To Repeat
Lesson #1355 - Alcohol and Sex . . . . . "And Her Proboscis! She's Just So Pretty . . . Give Me Another, Barkeep."
Lesson #1354 - Lukewarm . . . . . I've Now Effectively Slammed People Named 'Luke' And 'Chad' With The Comic, Who's Next
Lesson #1353 - Creativity (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . If You Don't Get It, Just Revel In Its Mathematical Beauty. It'll Come To You Eventually.
Lesson #1352 - Society, Oversimplified (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . The Scout Law In Boy Scouts Is Pretty Detailed When It Gets Into "Obedient" - Describing Commitment To Rules And Laws As They Are, But Also Working To Change Those That Aren't Right. How Can You Not Like "Obedient" When It's Defined Like That? Awesome.
Lesson #1351 - Thus (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . When Two Different States Are Seemingly In Being At Once, I Am Totally In Favor Of Starting Up The Saying, "Man, This Is A Real Schrodinger's Cat"

Lesson #1350 - Determination (Bracket Week IV) . . . . . This Is Not A Crack On Gender Identity, Just A Chromosome Joke - I Shouldn't Need To Make That Distinction But I Bet I Get In Trouble Anyway
Lesson #1349 - Exits . . . . . HEE-YAW
Lesson #1348 - High School . . . . . Hurray For Repression Of Independent Personal Expression, That's Really How Kids Should Learn To Grow Up, Any Other Way Is Entirely Unhealthy And Immoral
Lesson #1347 - Confidence . . . . . Was Going To Say One Fist Was Canseco But That's Too Easy A Reference For You, I'd Rather Make You Look It Up And Think A Little
Lesson #1346 - Rocky Relationships . . . . . And Not Every Relationship Will Drive You To Drink And Break Your Liver, Not Everyone Is Like Dating Cirrhosis - OK, I've Taken This Too Far
Lesson #1345 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part V . . . . . The Correct Answer Is "Whatever You Want, Dear, Absolutely", You Deadbeats
Lesson #1344 - Context . . . . . I Sincerely Apologize To My Grandparents, Aunts, And All Other Relatives For Using That Certain Word. Of Course, Since They Don't Look On This Page To See The Extra Joke, This Apology Doesn't Have That Much Value. I Guess Anything That Gets Typed Here Is Pretty Meaningless, In The End. Oh, Well. Anyway, How Are You Doing, Person Who Is Reading This? I Hope You Are Having A Swell Day
Lesson #1343 - Price . . . . . Also We Scientists Would Know What To Tell You We Were Working On So You'd Stay Appeased
Lesson #1342 - Fame, Part II . . . . . So You Want To Be Famous? Have You Considered . . . Hard Work?
Lesson #1341 - Getting . . . . . How Dare Everything Not Only Be Spoon-Fed To Me But Also Pre-Chewed, Digested, And Intestined

Lesson #1340 - Re-interpretations . . . . . I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, YOU GET IN THERE AND GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
Lesson #1339 - Future Nostalgia . . . . . Back In Your Day, You'll Used To Walk Uphill Both Ways In What We Used To Call Snow But You'll Call Dry Air
Lesson #1338 - TMI . . . . . Who Is This Tim And Why Do We Keep Misspelling His Name?
Lesson #1337 - Momentous Moments . . . . . Years Of Catholic Schooling Beat Me Down On The Issue Of Liking Ties Years Ago, I Remained Defiant On Collared Shirts Until Now
Lesson #1336 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part IV . . . . . Hannibal Lecter Mask, If Needed
Lesson #1335 - Strategy . . . . . That Mallet Was Once A Part Of A Halloween Costume While I Was In College. Lab Coat, Goggles And Spandex = Lesser-Known Superhero "The Mallet Kid". The Spandex Belonged To My Future Mother-In-Law, Although I Wasn't Dating My Future Wife Yet. Anyway, True Story.
Lesson #1334 - Young Scientists . . . . . Everyone Who Claims They Hate Puns Are Liars, I Am Convinced. I Think Every Saturday Should Be Bad Pun Comic Day. That'll Bring In New Readers, Oh Yeah
Lesson #1333 - Creepy Stares . . . . . Hello There
Lesson #1332 - Apologies . . . . . You're Sorry That I Feel Offended? I'm Sorry For Punching You In The Groin
Lesson #1331 - Online Conversations . . . . . What If You Were Legally Required To Inform Someone Of Your Child-Dipping Barbecue Eating Habits? Take It Online, Wait For Them To Zone Out Mid-Typing, It Happens

Lesson #1330 - Rational Discussion . . . . . Passive-Aggressive Dickishness = Also Cowardly
Lesson #1329 - Feline Wisdom . . . . . Don't Ask What The Purring Means, Though, That We'll Never Tell
Lesson #1328 - Pitchers and Catchers . . . . . Screw The Robin And The Groundhog, They Don't Mean Anything Anymore, Sadly Enough
Lesson #1327 - Pursuit of Happiness . . . . . When Did "Freedom Of Religion" Become Synonymous With "Pursuit Of Happiness"? Seems A Poor Way To Prove That Your Beliefs Are As Strong As You Claim Them To Be
Lesson #1326 - Duckface . . . . . Five Pounds Of Awful On Top Of The Five Pounds Of Sexual Attraction In The Some-Odd Pound Bag That Is Your Person
Lesson #1325 - Cooking . . . . . Sweet Peppers And Corn Make Everything Better, Too. Add That In With Bacon, And Man, Talk About Solving Problems. Your Relationship Would Suddenly Come On Par With Romeo And Juliet! Except, You Know, You'd Live
Lesson #1324 - Gift Disappointment . . . . . A Healthy Looking Liver Box, Preferrably
Lesson #1323 - Valentine's Love . . . . . Grrrr . . . Arrrrghh . . . Romannnnnnnnce . . . Braiinnnnnns . . .
Lesson #1322 - A Not Valentine . . . . . Just Realizing This Will Not Work Well If You Do Not Understand English Language Homophone Jokes. If You Do Understand Them But Don't Appreciate Them, Then You Are Just Wrong.
Lesson #1321 - Relationships, Biblically Speaking . . . . . And The Church Says Masturbation Is Immoral? Have They Read Their Own Holy Book? Genesis Would Beg To Differ

Lesson #1320 - The Morning After . . . . . Ow
Lesson #1319 - Important Knowledge, Originally Classified . . . . .If You've Never Read Any Mid-Seventeenth Century Teen Alchemist Romance Novels, Man, Are You Missing Out . . . On The Education They Provide
Lesson #1318 - Ideas . . . . . Like Athena, You Sickos
Lesson #1317 - Reality and Fantasy . . . . . Just Don't Tell Them A Dragon Is A Turtle Lit On Fire, That's Just Mean And Possibly Cruel
Lesson #1316 - Mating . . . . . There's A Reason You Teach Kids About "The Birds And The Bees", Not "The Spiders And The Other Spiders"
Lesson #1315 - Cat Litter . . . . . And It's Not A Small Fresh Fouling, Either
Lesson #1314 - Expectant Parents . . . . . The Bigger The Bottle, The Better The . . . Ok, No, I Can't Say That Or It Will Be Taken As My Actual Belief
Lesson #1313 - Headbutts . . . . . The High-Five In Primitive Form
Lesson #1312 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part III . . . . . "I'm Not Even Born Yet, And You Guys Are So Totally Lame"
Lesson #1311 - Solicitors . . . . . Girl Scout Cookies And Boy Scout Popcorn Do Not Count As Coming From Solicitors

Lesson #1310 - Mind Readers . . . . . "Whoa, This Memory Must Be Particularly Painful - Oops, Now It's Gone And You've Got Other Pain To Worry About, My Fault"
Lesson #1309 - Political Discourse, Part II . . . . . We Must Lower The Devouring Baby Tax, That's The Only Way To A Better Future
Lesson #1308 - Vasili Arkhipov . . . . . Do You Think Cilian Murphy Would Play Me? I Would Totally Be OK With That
Lesson #1307 - Snakes . . . . . Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Lesson #1306 - Voter Fraud . . . . . Never Underestimate The Zombie Voting Block, They Represent A Sizeable Portion Of Constituents
Lesson #1305 - Giving of Yourself . . . . . They Claim To Patrick Swayze's Ghost, But You're Not Whoopi Goldberg, And They're Lying Anyway, Unfortunately
Lesson #1304 - The Womb . . . . . "Wombcatraz"?
Lesson #1303 - Supporting Science . . . . . "All The Cereal Box Humor In The World You Could Go For, And That's What You Chose?" Apparently I Need To Raid My Cereal Cabinet To Do These More Often
Lesson #1302 - Advancements in Science and Technology . . . . . Geneticists, Any Day Now On Those Punching Goats, Please.
Lesson #1301 - Class Elections . . . . . I Would Want To Be A Caucus, For The Record

Lesson #1300 - Creeping People Out, Part XII . . . . . Perhaps The Child Will Have Superpowers? No, No, That's Getting Ahead Of Ourselves. Still, Time To Pick Out A Codename, Too
Lesson #1299 - The Appendix . . . . . How Could An Organ That Ends In An X Have Such A Lack Of Responsibilities? What A Let-Down
Lesson #1298 - The High-Five Theory . . . . . "I Did Not See That Coming."
Lesson #1297 - Getting A Reaction . . . . . Passivity - Some Effect On Its Own, Subtracts From All The Others
Lesson #1296 - Censorship . . . . . Wasn't Easy Getting Those Flashlights Positioned Correctly So It Wasn't Sexual
Lesson #1295 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part II . . . . . Like A Dante Naming His Kid 'Chaucer'
Lesson #1294 - Perspectives on Pregnancy, Part I . . . . . Oh, Cannonball Shepherd, Can't Wait To Meet You, But Stop Doing What You're Doing To Your Mother Or I'll Send You To Your Room
Lesson #1293 - Groupings of Words . . . . . Most People Probably Believe There Is No Difference Between 'Essay' And 'Rant' Once It Is On The Internet, Either
Lesson #1292 - Crossbreeds . . . . . Roll 'Em, Roll 'Em, Roll 'Em Beef-ALOOOO
Lesson #1291 - Poses While Walking . . . . . It's A Bird, It's A Plain Ol' Regular Guy

Lesson #1290 - Strong Coffee . . . . . You Probably Drink 50 Proof. You Pansies.
Lesson #1289 - Airplane Seating Protocol . . . . . Punches May Be Transferred To Other Passengers If The Deliverer So Desires
Lesson #1288 - Definitions, Part XX . . . . . Do They Make Me Look Ravishing?
Lesson #1287 - Dependents . . . . . Always With The Pooping, What Is It With You And Pooping
Lesson #1286 - Drivers . . . . . Safety Driving Distance Is Not Some Weird Driving Version Of "Name That Tune"
Lesson #1285 - Fortune Tellers . . . . . These Tea Leaves Have Been Possessed By The Ghost Of A Root!
Lesson #1284 - Dimensionless Numbers . . . . . Moneypenny Was A Pharisee
Lesson #1283 - "What The - ?" . . . . . That Story Is 100% True, As Hard As It Is To Believe
Lesson #1282 - Political Success . . . . . Didn't Say You'd Win, Per Se
Lesson #1281 - Kids . . . . . Doesn't Matter If They're Well-Disciplined Or Not; Once They're One Friend Circle Removed, The Kids Suck.

Lesson #1280 - New Holidays . . . . . The First Party Is At My Place?
Lesson #1279 - New Year Depictions . . . . . That Mallet Should Be In Every Comic
Lesson #1278 - Ringing In The New Year . . . . . "Auld Lang Syne" Is Greek For "Keep Your Poop Out Of My Punch Bowl"
Lesson #1277 - Elaborate Excuses . . . . . Guess I Don't Know My Own Strength. No, Really! Seriously! Feel These Muscles! Even My Thumb Has Biceps! A Gun Show!
Lesson #1276 - Sponge Dinosaurs . . . . . Granted, The Ankylsaurus I Did Get Is About As Close To A Stegosaurus As You Can Get Without Getting A Stegosaurus
Lesson #1275 - Strange Conspiracies . . . . . Actually, With How Insane And Ridiculous Some Of Today's History Seems To Be, It Might Seem More Realistic As Fiction Than Facts To Future Generations
Lesson #1274 - Timelines . . . . . Would Have Worked Dyspeptic In, But Not Enough People Would Have Understood What That Meant
Lesson #1273 - Cats . . . . . Why?
Lesson #1272 - Christmas, One Day . . . . . Easy Obvious Tie-In With The Mayan 2012 Theory, Perhaps? Perhaps Too Easy?
Lesson #1271 - Nutmeg . . . . . Granted, TWO TABLESPOONS Is A Lot Of Nutmeg. Yikes.

Lesson #1270 - The Laws of Christmas Lights . . . . . Your Founding Fathers Did Not Write The Constitution With Rogue Christmas Light Decorators In Mind, Damnit
Lesson #1269 - Coping With Christmas Carol Fatigue . . . . . Fa La La La La La La Shut Up
Lesson #1268 - End-of-the-Year Top Ten Lists . . . . . THOSE Are The Albums You Chose? Your Computing Algorithm Sucks. I Bet It's Still FORTRAN, Isn't It? Burrrrrrrrrnnnn.
Lesson #1267 - Where The Power Lies (A Comic About SOPA) . . . . . Please
Lesson #1266 - The Wars On Christmas . . . . . Did Scrooge Save Christmas Or Did The Ghosts? I Just Want To Make Sure This List Is Correct
Lesson #1265 - The True Meaning Of Christmas Songs, Part III . . . . . "WE KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS."
Lesson #1264 - Alternative Religions . . . . . "Actually, Your Favorite Move . . . Yeah, We Call That One 'Communion', So . . ."
Lesson #1263 - Happiness and You . . . . . HUGS FOR EVERYONE, HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS
Lesson #1262 - Card Games . . . . . "Global Thermonuclear Egyptian Rat Slap" Is A Heck Of A Mouthful, Though
Lesson #1261 - Elves . . . . . Did You Fall For The Bait-And-Switch? You Should Have Expected It, Shame On You

Lesson #1260 - Foxes . . . . . Although We Did Use Their Species Name To Describe Hot Women, That Should Equal Out For What We've Done To Them
Lesson #1259 - Fun With Cats . . . . . The Fact That I Am Disturbed By The Thought Of A Dog Organ Is Probably Further Proof You Didn't Need
Lesson #1258 - Frankincense and Myrrh . . . . . "How Would You Like Your Eggs Done?"
Lesson #1257 - Definitions, Part XIX . . . . . Face Squinching Not Required
Lesson #1256 - Political Speeches . . . . . And Godspeed
Lesson #1255 - Scrapple . . . . . Makes You Feel Your Arteries Closing, Ever So Delightfully
Lesson #1254 - Your Chemical Romance . . . . . I Don't Even Want To Think What My Rating Score Would Be
Lesson #1253 - Best Laid Plans . . . . . If You End Up Looking Up Stuff About Hentai, I Sincerely Apologize
Lesson #1252 - Christmas Tree Needles . . . . . Nature's Tiny Boobytraps - Placed And Set By You, Stupidly Enough
Lesson #1251 - Teaching Methods . . . . . It Was All The Work Of One Mr. Billion

Lesson #1250 - Inner Monologues . . . . . No, No, See The Noir Works Better When You're Just Saying It Inside My Head . . . YES, I'M SURE
Lesson #1249 - Recipe For Disaster . . . . . Be Careful Not To Spill
Lesson #1248 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VIII . . . . . Skilled Puppeteers Can Both Hold A Knife And Make A Puppet Blink At The Same Time
Lesson #1247 - Bathrooms . . . . . Unless You Excrete Anti-Bacterial Soap, But Come On, How Likely Is That?
Lesson #1246 - Pets For Children . . . . . The Worst Part Is Having To Clean The Bear's Litter Box. Where Did You Think They Pooped, In The Woods?
Lesson #1245 - Cousin Marriages . . . . . You Really Have Your Grandmother's Eyes. And So Do I.
Lesson #1244 - Life Expectancy . . . . . Well, I'm A Male, So Already Starting At Minus-10 . . .
Lesson #1243 - Codes . . . . . You Could Maybe Make A Visual Morse Code Matrix, But Come On, That Gives Away Your Location To The Enemy
Lesson #1242 - Planetary Defense . . . . . Raptors Are Too Small, The Earth Needs Something Bigger, And Ideally Less Talkable Than Ryan North's Version
Lesson #1241 - Potential For Family Disaster . . . . . And More Than One Turkey . . .

Lesson #1240 - Flu Shots . . . . . Whoo, A Little Dizzy
Lesson #1239 - Dog Love . . . . . Is Your Tail Wagging Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Lesson #1238 - Harassment . . . . . But Damn, What Glorious Skin, I Know
Lesson #1237 - Attention . . . . . Even Worse When You're Driving
Lesson #1236 - Scientific Creativity . . . . . Domesticated Armadillo . . .
Lesson #1235 - Swear Words . . . . . Less Cathartic When Bleeped
Lesson #1234 - Numerical Significance . . . . . Whatever The Best Number Is, That Should Be Prometheus, Because
Lesson #1233 - Pop Culture References . . . . . Reference Reference Reference HAHAHAHA Blearrrrrrrrgh
Lesson #1232 - Class . . . . . "TOO MUCH CLASS FOR ONE PINKIE TO HANDLE" Is Fun To Shout In A Bar, Or So I Would Believe, I Think
Lesson #1231 - Kindergarten . . . . . "How To Juice (Box) Up"

Lesson #1230 - Discussions On Religion . . . . . Holy Cow, I Can See The Face Of Jesus/Some Other Religious Being/Entropy In Your Mouth Foam!
Lesson #1229 - Great Renown . . . . . Internet Particles Are Like Tokens, Trade Them In For A Ride When You're Ready
Lesson #1228 - Intelligent Robots . . . . . MURDER DOES NOT COMPUTE OH WAIT NOW IT DOES
Lesson #1227 - Jobs . . . . . In Retrospect, The English Degree Was Not The Best Preparation Towards Getting The Superhero Job To Pay Off The Student Loans
Lesson #1226 - Initial Romance Hurdles . . . . . INITIAL ROMANCE, People, Initial. Sheesh
Lesson #1225 - Alcohol . . . . . A Jamaican Twist On Moose Milk In My Hand, For All Those Wondering
Lesson #1224 - Shame Glands . . . . . Man, Isn't It Funny How This Happy Moment Reminds You That You Were A Miserable Failure That One Time? Hah! Good Times.
Lesson #1223 - Spicy Food . . . . . Sometimes Knowing The Fall Is Coming Makes The Peak Far More Enjoyable
Lesson #1222 - Student-Teacher Relationship . . . . . "I May Have Broken Your Child, But Look, It's An Ashtray"
Lesson #1221 - Physics . . . . . When You're Trying To Fly And Failing It Kind Of Looks Like You're Constipated

Lesson #1220 - Handicapped . . . . . Your Beligerence Is Not A Handicap
Lesson #1219 - Computers . . . . . How Much You Want To Bet Your Computer Bosses Will Wear Ugly Soup-Stained Ties?
Lesson #1218 - Halloween Tailgating . . . . . I Wore Bright Orange Shorts Underneath The Pants In Case I Ever Got The Chance To Play
Lesson #1217 - Anti-Costumes . . . . . Oh No, Maybe You Had To Looks Something Up To Fully Get All The Jokes, What Are You To Do But Have To Learn Something
Lesson #1216 - Simple Costumes . . . . . Probably A Poor Career Decision, Too
Lesson #1215 - Ghosts . . . . . Since When Do Ghosts Leak Red From The Inside Out? Perhaps This Was A Mistake
Lesson #1214 - Costumes On The Skimpier Side . . . . . You Should Have Seen My Freudian Slip Costume From A Few Years Back
Lesson #1213 - Demonic Possessions . . . . . Sorry, Your Exorcism Has Been Delayed Under The Request Of Those Who Know You
Lesson #1212 - Graveyards . . . . . My Contribution To This Meeting Of The Midnight Society
Lesson #1211 - Getting In The Halloween Spirit . . . . . Dress Appropriately. Meaning Like How You Expect To Be Dressed At The Time You Get Bitten. What, You Were Thinking Scarves?

Lesson #1210 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part III . . . . . . . . Wait, You're WHAT?
Lesson #1209 - Holy Judgment . . . . . Or Whatever Religious Alternative To Hell You Choose To Believe In, Be It Hell Or Hel Or The Bronx
Lesson #1208 - College Students . . . . . Green Boards - The Red Headed Stepchild When Compared to Black Chalkboards
Lesson #1207 - Home Security . . . . . Dog-rate, Dog Kwan Do
Lesson #1206 - Catastrophizing . . . . . And Now A Squirrel On Waterskis
Lesson #1205 - Wishes . . . . . If Wishes Were Platypi, Now THAT Would Be Awesome
Lesson #1204 - Society . . . . . I Guess, Or Something
Lesson #1203 - Fathers . . . . . "Dads" Means Dads Everywhere, Not Necessarily Multiple Dads, This Is Not NOM-Baiting, C'mon
Lesson #1202 - In-Flight Entertainment . . . . . Hello From Minneapolis, By The Way
Lesson #1201 - Sleep . . . . . I Apologize For My Rip-Roaring Snores, I Know You Can Hear Them Wherever On This Planet You Live

Lesson #1200 - Conclusions . . . . . Those Were Mazes. Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter
Lesson #1199 - Genres . . . . . Might Work The Opposite Direction? Making Everything Figurative? I Would Rather Not Think About The Possibility, Though
Lesson #1198 - Insight . . . . . Allegory Of A Hyperbole Of A Sham
Lesson #1197 - Peer-Reviewed Studies . . . . . Oh No, I Saw A Picture Of A Dog, Guess I Can't Finish This Calculation Today
Lesson #1196 - History . . . . . Me And An Army Of Cats Hiding Inside A Giant Wooden Sculpture, What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That Plan
Lesson #1195 - The Object Of Your Obsession . . . . . Believing Where You Sit Affects Your Team Is Roughly Equivalent To Being Super Clingy
Lesson #1194 - The Reasons For Jerk Friends . . . . . As Opposed To Caribbean Jerk Friends, Who Are Friends You Have Been Marinating
Lesson #1193 - Labcoats . . . . . I Kept A Bottle By My Desk. When That Chromatograph Sample Started Running, It Would Be Loaded, And So Would I.
Lesson #1192 - Flawless Logic . . . . . You Know Now Would Be The Best Time To Call And Say How I Love Her/Him Burp
Lesson #1191 - Choice . . . . . Odds That Someone Sees The Comic And Misinterprets It As Anti-Gay? I Put It A Lot Higher Than You Might Think

Lesson #1190 - BS . . . . . Not The Card Game, You Asses
Lesson #1189 - Pets and the Supernatural . . . . . They Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Wasn't For You Meddling Kit . . tens
Lesson #1188 - Definitions, Part XVIII . . . . . CHUTZPAH - Top Hundred Most Fun Words To Say?
Lesson #1187 - Dance Moves, Part III . . . . . The Wide Open Mouth Is Key
Lesson #1186 - The First Of October . . . . . October Sophists' Day? Sages' Is Probably Better
Lesson #1185 - Sports . . . . . I Think The Stress Has Completely Burned Off Any Calories From The Beer I Had
Lesson #1184 - Dreams . . . . . Perhaps The Sandman Began Using That Rainbow Decorative Sand
Lesson #1183 - Zombie Inspiration . . . . . OK, Maybe They Landed Once Or Twice But Come On, Not Really
Lesson #1182 - Hatred . . . . . If You Disagree . . . Well, Shut Up.
Lesson #1181 - Rationality . . . . . HOW DARE YOU SAY OTHERWISE

Lesson #1180 - The Joy In Words . . . . . Does Not Work In Reverse, Though
Lesson #1179 - Promiscuity . . . . . I Will Volunteer Myself As A Test Subject For Male Promiscuity, Because That's Clearly The Next Test To Be Done, Right?
Lesson #1178 - Libricide In The Electronic Age . . . . . What A Word. Words Like That Should Get Used More Often But For Better Things
Lesson #1177 - Feline Science . . . . . I Was Scratched Multiple Times In The Making Of This Comic
Lesson #1176 - Lavish Affairs . . . . . Based On The Wedding I Went To This Weekend; It Was In A Mansion - Kind Of Enough Said
Lesson #1175 - College Expectations . . . . . Oh, What Stereotypes Have Taught Us All To Believe And Remember
Lesson #1174 - Political Error . . . . . Occam's Razor
Lesson #1173 - At The Heart Of It . . . . . You Can't Stop Entropy, You Can Only Hope To . . . Wait Slowly As It Inevitably Comes
Lesson #1172 - Joining In . . . . . This Would Work For A Group Of Human-Weasel Hybrids, Though: "Welcome To The Confusion!"
Lesson #1171 - Media Whores . . . . . I Apologize To Every Relative For That Pose

Lesson #1170 - Mistaken Identity . . . . . Trouble, In Fiction Cases, Is Off The Chart
Lesson #1169 - Crazy Cat Ladies . . . . . I Would Love To Meet A Crazy Owl Lady
Lesson #1168 - Feelin' Good . . . . . You Should Try It Sometime
Lesson #1167 - Language Differences . . . . . Same Bulgarian Who Had Phone Sex While I Was In The Room Because I Didn't Speak Bulgarian
Lesson #1166 - Customer Service . . . . . "Helloooooooooooooooooooooo."
Lesson #1165 - Polite Expressions . . . . . See, 'Cause They Eat Brains. Get It? No? Perhaps You Have Zombies In Your Closet?
Lesson #1164 - Definitions, Part XVII . . . . . Human Lions, We Call Ourselves, Or Would If We Knew Each Other Existed
Lesson #1163 - Duels . . . . . Ah-ah-ah, No Takebacks
Lesson #1162 - Notetaking . . . . . Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-DING
Lesson #1161 - Etymology: Latin . . . . . If Only Evolution Was More Apprehensi(b)le

Lesson #1160 - Interpretive Dance . . . . . "Scientist Kung-Fu Blue Rhapsody: IV"
Lesson #1159 - Love Assessment . . . . . Oh Great Wise And All Knowing Flower, May Your Random Growth Of Beauty Doth Bequeath Upon Me Romance Not Friends
Lesson #1158 - Pick-up Line Methods, Part I . . . . . Hey, You Don't Need To Get Angry About It! No Need To Be Sternum.
Lesson #1157 - Scientific Bias . . . . . "Ivory" Tower, There You Go Again!
Lesson #1156 - Ethnic Names . . . . . To Be Fair, His Body WAS A Wonderland
Lesson #1155 - Choices . . . . . The Classic Monkey Wrench For The Circle: "When Did You Choose To Be Straight?"
Lesson #1154 - Colorful Curse Words . . . . . Adding An F-Bomb Adjective To Poopbutt Is Strangely Effective And Hurtful
Guest Lecture #18 - Jason Oberholtzer (I Love Charts) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #17 - Zander Speaks (Skidmore Bluffs) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #16 - Dave McElfatrick (Cyanide & Happiness) . . . . .
Guest Lecture #15 - Hallelujah the Hills . . . . .
Guest Lecture #14 - Brent . . . . .
Guest Lecture #13 - Rosscott . . . . .
Guest Lecture #12 - Steve Wyckoff . . . . .
Lesson #1153 - Sleaze . . . . . 98 Percent Of Lawyers, Too
Lesson #1152 - Baby On Board . . . . . "And Is That Board Tied Down? Huh? Huh?"
Lesson #1151 - Chemical Engineering . . . . . Chemical Engineering: The Degree For People Who Don't Know What They're Getting Into Until It's Way Too Late

Lesson #1150 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VII . . . . . If You Misread It, You'll Think It Is A Fear Of Jose And Ozzie's Lesser Known Sibling
Lesson #1149 - Sleeping Cats . . . . . It's All That Catnip Shampoo Everyone Uses
Lesson #1148 - Schooling . . . . . It's Cool To Stay In School; Don't Become An Ass, Stay In Class
Lesson #1147 - Jellyfish . . . . . Perhaps They're Just Embarrassed By The Size Of Their Stingers
Lesson #1146 - Chickens . . . . . I Could Take On Three Chickens, Even If They Were Armed With Knives, Possibly With Guns. I'd Do My Part. Could You?
Lesson #1145 - The Native's Perspective . . . . . "Oh, So Close! Only One Street Away."
Lesson #1144 - Advanced Chemistry . . . . . Or Even A New Type Of Graffiti Paint! Man, Chemists, You Blew It This Time
Lesson #1143 - Dessert . . . . . Or: Dessert Pranks That Taste Delicious
Lesson #1142 - Moons . . . . . I Like To Imagine Both The Moons Were Sentient, They Got Into An Argument, And One Said, "Oh Yeah? I'll Show You!"
Lesson #1141 - Beavers . . . . . Hurr Hurr Hurr

Lesson #1140 - Dog Diplomacy . . . . . Give Our Method A Try, It Might Work And Then You Can Go Chase Squirrels Together
Lesson #1139 - Backs . . . . . Worse Back Tweak: Brushing Your Teeth, Or Reaching Into The Mailbox? Both Have Happened, Both Are Stupid And Bizarre
Lesson #1138 - Dance Moves, Part II . . . . . Can't Beat The Fingerpointing
Lesson #1137 - Coffee Devotion . . . . . What's Happened To You If Coffee Leaves You Weak At The Knees? You've Been De-calf-inated!
Lesson #1136 - Hometowns . . . . . It's As Far As Our Dog Runs Allow Us To Go
Lesson #1135 - Superpowers, Part III . . . . . Superhero Codename: The Calimari
Lesson #1134 - The Benefits Of Political Rhetoric . . . . . Learn What, I Guess . . .
Lesson #1133 - Making Science Accessible and Interesting . . . . . And If You're Not Excited By It, Why Not?
Lesson #1132 - Crabs . . . . . Hey, Godzilla Started As A Lizard About The Same Size . . .
Lesson #1131 - Definitions, Part XVI . . . . . If You First Thought It Was About Urine-Based Victorian Culture, Get Help

Lesson #1130 - Sarcasm . . . . . Oh, You've Already Been Doing This For Years? Well, Aren't You Special {.}
Lesson #1129 - Preparation . . . . . If Only We Can Figure Out The Ooze's Secret
Lesson #1128 - Political Posturing . . . . . (I don't think this comic would work as well with any other artistic medium.)
Lesson #1127 - Social Networks, Part II . . . . . Resistance Is Feudal
Lesson #1126 - Clothing Acceptance . . . . . It Plateaus For A Reason, I Hope It Worms Its Way Into Your Head
Lesson #1125 - Tripping . . . . . This One Really Isn't Going To Convince The People Who Doubt That I'm Not On Drugs
Lesson #1124 - Heart . . . . . Red Card? Well, Seems Appropriate
Lesson #1123 - The Five Stages Of Global Warming . . . . . If My Grandchildren Join The Alliance I Will Be So Disappointed In Them
Lesson #1122 - Cyborgs . . . . . If I Can Get A New Liver That Allows Me To Drink More With No Hangover, I Am All For The Cyborgian Implant Revolution
Lesson #1121 - Hollywood Logic . . . . . Being John Malkovich: Probably The Last Original Bodyswapping Tale For A Long Time

Lesson #1120 - Love and Pets . . . . . Butt Sniffing, Well, Depends On Your Fetish
Lesson #1119 - Social Networks . . . . . The 'Plus' Doesn't Clue You In You're Trying To Be Programmed? Wake Up, Sheeple
Lesson #1118 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part V . . . . . Some Days This Feels More Inevitable Than Others
Lesson #1117 - Destroying Marriage . . . . . Perhaps Went A Bit Too Subtle There
Lesson #1116 - Nostalgia . . . . . Now, Someone Bring Me My Teeth
Lesson #1115 - English Classes . . . . . The Opposite Of War Isn't Peace, After All
Lesson #1114 - Lack Of Substance . . . . . If This Looks Like It Was Put Together After 1 AM, Well, There's A Reason For That . . .
Lesson #1113 - Sabermetrics . . . . . My WHIP Is Pretty Great, Too
Lesson #1112 - Summer Camp . . . . . Also, Are You Contractually Obligated To Sing And Cheer At Meals? Unlikely
Lesson #1111 - Debate . . . . . Get With The Program, By Which I Mean My Approach To The Argument, Already

Lesson #1110 - Other Interpretations . . . . . Consider A St. Bernard In The Alps . . .
Lesson #1109 - Infinite Possibilities . . . . . Tuxedos Don't Come In That Size Anyway
Lesson #1108 - Sensory Math . . . . . Just Trying To See What A Finger Smells Like
Lesson #1107 - Memory . . . . . Tsung = A Mutant Who Fired Mind Bullets. I Worry My Power Will Activate When I'm Beating Myself Up Over A Memory Someday
Lesson #1106 - Flattery . . . . . If You Are Just Learning English, Do Not Use An Actual Steamroller When Flattering
Lesson #1105 - Fireworks, Part II . . . . . Admit It, When You Set It Off And Think 'Awesome', You're Not Thinking 'I Am Such A Patriot By Doing This'
Lesson #1104 - International Awareness . . . . . Bet This Ticks Off "The Fish"
Lesson #1103 - Common Ground . . . . . Here, We Run On Strawberry Rhubarb Time!
Lesson #1102 - Ticks . . . . . GET IT OFF, OH WAIT NOW THERE'S BLOOD, IT REALLY IS A TICK, OH GOD
Lesson #1101 - Renumbering . . . . . STW Now Presented By Dirk Simons!

Lesson #1000 - The Tools Of Your Trade . . . . . The Sword Is The Worst Tool? Discuss
Lesson #999 - Creeping People Out, Part XI . . . . . No, No, Barkeep, That Was My Friend's Tab
Lesson #998 - Future Science . . . . . Hopefully Only A Few Missteps On The Way
Lesson #997 - Polymer Foams . . . . . This Can't Possibly Go Wrong
Lesson #996 - Gay Marriage . . . . . If This Comic Offended You, I Look Forward To The Debate You End Up Having With Your Grandchild So Many Years From Now
Recitation #100 - What Is Life? . . . . . You Can Hop On Just One Leg,You Can Bring Along A Keg
Lesson #995 - Free Speech . . . . . Shut Up, 'Cause I Don't Want To Hear It
Lesson #994 - Medical School . . . . . My Shark Teeth Impression: Basically My Salmon Teeth Impression, To Be Honest
Lesson #993 - Definitions, Part XV . . . . . Get Out Of My Petunias, Dang It!
Lesson #992 - Lifetime . . . . . You Have To Get To The End, You Can Always Backtrack Out Of Any Dead Ends
Lesson #991 - Fathers . . . . . Facial Expression Dancing Also Important

Lesson #990 - Embarrassing Your Children . . . . . Also Applies To Spouses. Sorry, theSwede.
Recitation #99 - Don Quixote . . . . . Windmill Dragon: Also A Good Drug Name
Lesson #989 - The Sports Fates . . . . . My High School Yearbook Life Goal: "To See The Red Sox Win The World Series In My Lifetime." I Need A New Life Goal.
Lesson #988 - Interpretation . . . . . Bloo-Bloo-Bloo-Bloop!
Lesson #987 - Poses . . . . . Humans In Animal Poses: Hairball Free!
Lesson #986 - Internet Comments . . . . . Q.E.D. = Quite Eloquent, Dungmuncher
Lesson #985 - Truth From The Details . . . . . Bonus Points Awarded For Wrestling While Coated In Honey (Non-Sexually, Mind You)
Lesson #984 - Political Discourse . . . . . Don't Ask Who The Umpires Are; This Metaphor Is Bound To Fall Apart If You Do
Recitation #98 - Rainbows . . . . . Indigo Still Gets No Love In There
Lesson #983 - New Realities . . . . . "Hoo": It's Like A Verbal Grunt Of Mild Awe
Lesson #982 - Terminology . . . . . Individuals: Systemic Deviants
Lesson #981 - Entertainment . . . . . That Cat Has Suprisingly Amazing Trash Talk

Lesson #980 - Mental Processing . . . . . Now Imagine A Teacher Seeing Those Faces!
Lesson #979 - Coffee . . . . . We Break Coffee's Trust When We Drink It, But It Gets Its Revenge Later On Internally
Lesson #978 - Liquid Nitrogen . . . . . Science Hipsters: Sure, Liquid Nitrogen Used To Be In Style, But Liquid Hydrogen Is Really Where It's Cool, Er, In Vogue
Lesson #977 - Playoff Beards . . . . . Come On, Higgs Boson, Where Are You? I Want To Shave Already
Lesson #976 - Corn . . . . . Why Why Why Why Why WHY
Lesson #975 - Self-Defense . . . . . Ooh, The Specks In It Are Shiny!
Lesson #974 - Anniversary, Part III . . . . . My Whips Are, Um, In Storage
Lesson #973 - Violence . . . . . And The Homework Assignments!
Lesson #972 - Household Appliances . . . . . Coming Soon: Sanity Barometers aka Cats!
Lesson #971 - Women's Rights . . . . . Your Lacrosse Is Already Better, Ladies, We Need Some Way To Even Up With You
Recitation #97 - Addicted To Love . . . . . The Older You Get, The More Willing You Are To Buy It Off The Streets, Right?

Lesson #970 - Size Matters . . . . . I Promise I Won't Claw At You, Baby
Lesson #969 - The Strength of a Marriage . . . . . So Many Assholes Concerned About Assholes
Lesson #968 - Underrated Benefits of Hard Work . . . . . Why Do We Say Zombies Focus On Eating Brains? They've Always Been Organovores
Lesson #967 - The Danger Of Talking Animals . . . . . And We Even Call A Group Of Them A "Confusion", Could We Be More Cruel
Lesson #966 - Post-Rapture Thoughts . . . . . Well, This Is Awkward
Lesson #965 - Wedding Misbehavior . . . . . . . . Reason #1,436 . . .
Lesson #964 - Types of People . . . . . That Pilkington Joke Was A Total Accident
Lesson #963 - Bees . . . . . Jerky, Necessary-To-Planet's-Existence Bees
Lesson #962 - Okay . . . . . Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Nonchalantly Agreeing With Me?
Lesson #961 - Shame . . . . . Is "Lack Of Shame" Degree A Compatability Factor On Dating Sites? It Should Be

Lesson #960 - The Rapture . . . . . Hey, This Isn't What The Mayans Predicted
Lesson #959 - Passive-Aggressive . . . . . If You've Ever Dated, You Ate It Once
Lesson #958 - Sign Language, Part II . . . . . The "Bi" Or "Gay" Thinking Pose Is Too Complicated, That's All
Recitation #96 - Fishmen . . . . . A Tentacle-Based Race Of Fishmen? Lobster-Claw-Based Race? Or All Mortal Enemies?
Lesson #957 - The Creepiness Principle . . . . . Wait . . . Wait . . . Wait . . . OH GOD
Lesson #956 - Presentation Enthusiasm . . . . . Yes, My Question Is, Stop Creeping Me Out
Lesson #955 - Kindergarten Wisdom . . . . . No Laser Beams For Eyes, Either!
Lesson #954 - Paranormal Abilities . . . . . Not Exactly Jean Grey
Lesson #953 - High School Reunions . . . . . A Chance To Be Old But Stupid Again
Lesson #952 - Origins of Alcohol . . . . . Trial And Error Is Still Science
Recitation #95 - Searches For Knowledge . . . . . Your Thirst For Knowledge Hates Snakes
Lesson #951 - Human Interaction . . . . . Piles Of Filled-In Discarded Laboratory Notebooks; Also Known As Diaries

Lesson #950 - Hello . . . . . "Um . . . Who's Answering?"
Lesson #949 - Perceptions . . . . . And Cotton Candy And Perfect Relationships!
Lesson #948 - Respect . . . . . Proud To Be A Non-Card Carrying Member Of The Atheist And Otter Communities
Lesson #947 - Reincarnation . . . . . Yeah, I Said A Yeti, Don't Judge Me
Lesson #946 - Entitlements and Settlements . . . . . Sucks To Be Tall Unless She's Taller
Recitation #94 - Procrastination . . . . . Hey, Let's Go Ride Bikes!
Lesson #945 - The Time Travel Solution . . . . . Quantum Physicists, You Are The Exception
Lesson #944 - Understanding Art . . . . . Not That Far From Performance Art
Lesson #943 - Attraction . . . . . Based On More Than One True Story
Lesson #942 - Backhair . . . . . The "Well, Hello!" One Wouldn't Be Bad
Lesson #941 - Dimensional Analysis . . . . . The 7th Dimensions Is, Well, Hey, Look At The Time, I've Got To Go

Lesson #940 - Hydration . . . . . First Time: "Whoa, Look At That . . . I Hope That Doesn't Mean Repercussions Tomorrow"
Recitation #93 - Bananas . . . . . Bananananananatman
Lesson #939 - Delicacies . . . . . Nom Nom Nom
Lesson #938 - Failing . . . . . GAH STOP IT NOW PLEASE
Lesson #937 - Teaching Evolution . . . . . You Can Speed Up The Process Through My Children, I Give You Permission
Lesson #936 - Creeping People Out, Part X . . . . . Number 10 In A Continuing How-To Series
Lesson #935 - Disappointment . . . . . Heck, Even You 100-Year-Olds To Be
Lesson #934 - Science . . . . . Let's Go Experimenting!
Lesson #933 - Prepping For The Apocalypse . . . . . You Can Still Shoot Them In The Head If You Need To
Lesson #932 - Programming . . . . . IF Idiot THEN Jerk
Lesson #931 - Hugs . . . . . Hugs, Even From Pugs, Not Drugs

Lesson #930 - Multilingual . . . . . Screaming Is Universal "Help" But Not Really
Lesson #929 - Intelligent Discussions . . . . . In Your Itty Bitty Hooves
Lesson #928 - Downloading . . . . . I Don't Support It; But Promoting "Pirating" Was An Incredibly Dumb Choice
Lesson #927 - Demands . . . . . Hey, Where's The Back-up Plutonium?
Lesson #926 - Whaling . . . . . When You Grew Up With Sports Teams Nicknamed "Whalers" Around You, It Feels Much More Ancient Than It Really Is
Lesson #925 - Numerology . . . . . Eight: Just The Infinite In A Poor Disguise
Lesson #924 - Mermaids . . . . . Best Excuse For Barnacle STDs Ever
Lesson #923 - Statistics . . . . . BOW DOWN BEFORE THE PIE CHART
Lesson #922 - School Dances . . . . . And Your Imaginary Dance Partner ALWAYS Looks Ravishing
Lesson #921 - Offense . . . . . I DARE SAY, HOW DARE YOU, SIR
Recitation #92 - Idiots . . . . . Personally I Hope It's A Romantic Comedy

Lesson #920 - Ruminations On Opening Day . . . . . I Don't Care If I Ever Get Back
Lesson #919 - Willful Logic . . . . . No, Really. Please Look At The Facts.
Lesson #918 - Objectives . . . . . No, Really, Please Keep Your Shirt On
Lesson #917 - Armadillos . . . . . Giant Armadillos, Much Less Cute
Lesson #916 - The Origin Of Species . . . . . Teach This Countertheory In Schools!
Lesson #915 - The Perfect Murder, Part II . . . . . No, No, That's How Caviar Always Tastes
Lesson #914 - Bodily Intake . . . . . Don't Make Me Come In There, Body
Recitation #91 - Sleeptalking . . . . . Sleeptrapping: Why Ackbar Is On Watch
Lesson #913 - Writer's Block, Part II . . . . . Writer's Block: The Bouncer To The Club Of Decent Ideas
Lesson #912 - Knots . . . . . A Granny Knot? You Take Pride In Your Amateur Man Status, Apparently
Lesson #911 - Rules For Pet Owning . . . . . Instead Of A Toy, Here Is My Back

Lesson #910 - The Individual . . . . . Oh, Don't Mind Me Over Here
Lesson #909 - Reactions To Information . . . . . Note: "Some" Scientist, Not "A Little"
Lesson #908 - Life, And Then . . . . . OH GOD THE WRONG DIRECTION
Recitation #90 - Basic Math . . . . . There're Better Ways To Get Noted For Your Wisdom And The Clever Things You Do, Kid
Lesson #907 - College Majors, Part II (Bracket Week III) . . . . . The Ivory Tower Tournament?
Lesson #906 - Demands (Bracket Week III) . . . . . The 72 Ounce Size, Please
Lesson #905 - Culinary Mayhem (Bracket Week III) . . . . . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Lesson #904 - Inception (Bracket Week III) . . . . . "C'mon, Brain, More Far-Fetched This Time!"
Lesson #903 - Slippery Slopes . . . . . Apparently We're Surrounded By Slides
Lesson #902 - On Your Own . . . . . He's/She's/They're Gone! Time To Get To Holding Bottles With My Toes Again!
Recitation #89 - Sex Scenes . . . . . Wait, This Is A Porn Film . . .
Lesson #901 - When In Doubt . . . . . And You, Sir, Are Not The One

Lesson #900 - Originality, Part II . . . . . "You Always Suggest Hooking Our Enemies In The Gills! Don't You Have Any Other Suggestions?"
Lesson #899 - Dream Girl . . . . . Even You, Ignatius, Although Granted, It's Extremely Unlikely In Your Case
Lesson #898 - Inbreeding . . . . . "The Future Depends On Us, Sis!"
Lesson #897 - Euphemisms . . . . . Once Everyone Is Perverted . . . No One Is
Lesson #896 - X-Ray Vision . . . . . I Will Admit, You Are Impressive, But Would You Mind Wearing Lead-Lined Boxers?
Lesson #895 - Superpowers, Part II . . . . . High Correlation To People Who Work On Their "Moo-Hah-Hah" As Well
Lesson #894 - Evolutionary Processes . . . . . That's Right. Someday: Zombie Monkeys
Lesson #893 - Time Travel Conundrum . . . . . How Will You Ever Know The Truth?
Lesson #892 - Periods . . . . . Not A Great Superpower, Admittedly
Lesson #891 - Creeping People Out, Part IX . . . . . "And The Hat?" "Oh, That's My Turtle."

Lesson #890 - Beards . . . . . The "I'm Bad At Shaving, This Is A Beard Made Of Blood And Scabs And Cuts"
Lesson #889 - Free Stuff . . . . . "Sure, But You Know You Want It"
Recitation #88 - Using It And Losing It . . . . . And If You Use "It" For Him/Her/Them Well, Then, No, You Won't Lose It!
Lesson #888 - Pet Attire . . . . . Jeans For Me, And Loss Of Dignity For You!
Lesson #887 - Where The Problems Lie . . . . . A Moodier But Better Place?
Lesson #886 - Your Beliefs And Others' . . . . . (And Can't Handle Their Beer)
Lesson #885 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part IV . . . . . Now Let's Try It With Hydrochloric!
Lesson #884 - Organ Donors . . . . . But Such Personal Endearment To It!
Lesson #883 - Stupid Questions . . . . . May God Have Mercy On Us All For You Having Asked That Question
Recitation #87 - Air Guitar . . . . . Air Trumpet Just Looks Weird
Lesson #882 - Balding . . . . . A Buzzcut = Follicle Meteroid
Lesson #881 - Your Potential Future . . . . . Hah! Like That's An Option For YOU.

Lesson #880 - The Creepiness Of Potential Relationship Initiation . . . . . Let's Just Cut To The Chase And Discuss Recessive Genes
Lesson #879 - Valentine's Day Perspective . . . . . A Reason Or A Reminder In Leather?
Lesson #878 - Spring . . . . . "Play Ball" - Best Two Word Phrase?
Lesson #877 - Reactions For New Parents . . . . . The Reactions Of The Nurses And Doctors Would Be Priceless, Though
Student Presentation #10 - Writing Essays For College Applications . . . . .
Student Presentation #9 - Chemistry Career Advice . . . . .
Student Presentation #8 - Psychoanalyze That . . . . .
Student Presentation #7 - Accepting Christmas Gifts . . . . .
Student Presentation #6 - Fairy Tales . . . . .
Lesson #876 - Home-Schooling . . . . . You Can Watch The Snow From Inside
Recitation #86 - Butterflies . . . . . Let Me Google That For You
Lesson #875 - Why Pets Exist . . . . . theSwede Dances By Standing In One Place With Only A Slight Amount Of Rotation
Lesson #874 - Advances In Robotics . . . . . That First Sentence Screams Innuendo
Lesson #873 - Overeating . . . . . We'll Be Here All Night Til You Get It Right!
Lesson #872 - Time Of Day . . . . . The Wee Hours Were Named After Drunks Who Realized They Needed Bathroom Breaks
Lesson #871 - Radiation Therapy . . . . . Hey, What About "New Jersey"?

Lesson #870 - How To Irritate People . . . . . Or Get Others To Remind People Of You
Lesson #869 - Airport Security . . . . . Or Jimmy Buffet's "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw", For That Matter
Lesson #868 - Truth and Confidence . . . . . Truth vs. Delusion, On The Other Hand . . .
Recitation #85 - Casseroles . . . . . Beef, Onion, Almond and Heart Casserole
Lesson #867 - Political Promises . . . . . WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?
Lesson #866 - High Notes . . . . . LAAAAAAAA LA LA LA
Lesson #865 - Ad Hominem . . . . . What A Jerky Argument To Make, Anyway
Lesson #864 - Writing Potential . . . . . Or An Anthropomorphic Box!
Lesson #863 - Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships . . . . . Happiness Is A Given, Expected Factor
Recitation #84 - Mothers . . . . . True Fact: I Was Almost 10 Lbs At Birth
Lesson #862 - Middle Aged . . . . . Life Comes With Climbing Gear
Lesson #861 - The Stork . . . . . Why Don't We Say That If You Have Chlamydia, You "Have Clams"?

Lesson #860 - Groundbreaking . . . . . Yo Yo Yo
Lesson #859 - Proof . . . . . Tissues For Intergalactic Sneezes!
Lesson #858 - Death Of Reading . . . . . Insults For The Dog: Out, Damn Spot!
Lesson #857 - The Rest Of The Thought Behind The Sound Bite . . . . . Now, A Reading From The Necronomicon
Recitation #83 - Mating and Creating . . . . . Attack, My Platypi! Attack!
Lesson #856 - Cthulhu . . . . . The Secret Password Is Always "Octopus"
Lesson #855 - How Old You Are . . . . . There Might Be A Secondary Overlap Region
Lesson #854 - Religious Roots . . . . . If It's In The Bible, It Can't Be A Curse Word
Lesson #853 - Nobody's Perfect . . . . . You Catch More Flies, Oxygen & Daydreams
Lesson #852 - Love Is . . . (Part III) . . . . . Or You're Frozen In Carbonite
Lesson #851 - Science's Capabilities . . . . . Or Body Swapping Devices
Recitation #82 - Not Interested, Ever . . . . . See This Tree? Totally The Wrong Bark.

Lesson #850 - Mental Focus (A STW Connect-The-Dots Puzzle) . . . . . Let's Ride Bikes!
Lesson #849 - Children's Moral Entertainment And Education . . . . . My Fine Feathered Mama
Lesson #848 - Bad Hair Days . . . . . Don't Even Go Into Split Ends
Lesson #847 - Extreme Rephrasing . . . . . There Is Also Now A Musical Component
Lesson #846 - Animal Instincts . . . . . And Then The Vacuum Stopped Working
Lesson #845 - New Year's Day Morning . . . . . And No Plagiarizing On Those Exams
Lesson #844 - Midnight, New Year's Eve . . . . . Not Want To Feel = Leaning Over A Toilet
Lesson #843 - Music For All . . . . . Bwah-Ha-Ha Should Be Shouted In Most Every-Day Conversations
Lesson #842 - Desirable Features . . . . . Na Na Na Na Na Na
Lesson #841 - A Handy Mid-Conversation Mental Map . . . . . Ride Like The Wind, Thor Pegasus!

Lesson #840 - Guard Animals . . . . . Beware The Attack Flounder
Lesson #839 - The Day After . . . . . Hey, There's A Resolution Idea
Lesson #838 - Holiday Sentiments . . . . . Even Inanimate Objects
Lesson #837 - Christmas Evil . . . . . 99 Bottles Of Christmas Beer On The Wall
Lesson #836 - Holiday Spirit . . . . . Wouldn't It Get Impaled On A Rib?
Lesson #835 - Christmas Specials . . . . . Talk About Grading On A Curve
Lesson #834 - Real . . . . . Now Let's See . . .
Lesson #833 - The Aging Process . . . . . A PLANT EATER? Oh, How Lame.
Lesson #832 - Moral Persistence . . . . . What's Next?
Lesson #831 - Spirits . . . . . I Ordered the GOOD Swill, Not This Crap
Recitation #81 - Sleeping Cats . . . . . Machine of Death says: "CAT PILLOW"

Lesson #830 - Major Magazine Awards . . . . . This Will Accidentally Tick Off Women, I'm Practically Guaranteeing That
Lesson #829 - Demises . . . . . Oh, It's You Again
Lesson #828 - Things That Shouldn't Need To Be Said . . . . . Oh, It's Plainly Obvious That You Don't Care
Lesson #827 - Cats On The Internet . . . . . Don't Be An Enabler
Lesson #826 - Attacked . . . . . What A Way To Go
Lesson #825 - Censorship . . . . . Hyp, Hyp, Hypocrisy!
Recitation #80 - Easy Street . . . . . That's Where We're Gonna Be
Lesson #824 - Creeping People Out, Part VIII . . . . . Oh, I Will Make It Fit
Lesson #823 - Definitions, Part XIV . . . . . Drooling In Pain
Lesson #822 - Scenes From Daily Life . . . . . Fast Visual Editing Would Help
Lesson #821 - Santa Claus . . . . . Ho Ho Ho
Recitation #79 - Advertising Your Organization . . . . . We Fetch You, We Catch You

Lesson #820 - Prowess . . . . . You're A Little Too Focused On My Neck . . .
Lesson #819 - Tattoos, Part II . . . . . Bite On Fake Tooth In Case Of Angry Father
Lesson #818 - Puppets . . . . . You Can Be My Marionette Anyday Baby
Lesson #817 - Morning People . . . . . AND HOW DO YOU DO
Lesson #816 - What If . . . ? . . . . . Autobiographical Fiction
Lesson #815 - Grander Scale . . . . . No Bounces Allowed
Lesson #814 - Awards . . . . . Here's A Certificate Just For Existing
Lesson #813 - One View Of The Afterlife . . . . . Ruling With Tasty Kindness
Lesson #812 - Holiday Family Reunions . . . . . Cue The Banjo Music
Lesson #811 - Thanksgiving Parenting . . . . . And You Can Get Really Crazy "Pilgrim Hats"

Lesson #810 - Hollywood and Religion . . . . . Jesus III: Jesus Hard With A Vengeance
Lesson #809 - Comprehension of "*!%#&*^@*!#*" . . . . . "Douche" Is The Much Much Tamer Version
Lesson #808 - Family Anniversaries . . . . . Take That, Hollywood
Lesson #807 - Lies Your Parents Told You . . . . . And You Don't HAVE To Wear Spandex
Lesson #806 - Cursing, Part III . . . . . You Mother Codswallopers
Recitation #78 - Major Life Decisions . . . . . Ask A Magic 8-Ball Before Asking Me
Lesson #805 - Home Protection, Part II . . . . . Stop Thief Or I Will Throw This Porcupine
Lesson #804 - On The Brink Of Insanity . . . . . Neither Way Is Really Uphill Or Downhill
Lesson #803 - Questionable Meaning . . . . . Molds Defeat The Idea Of Being Unique
Lesson #802 - Living . . . . . Go G Major On Conformity
Lesson #801 - Ethics in Science . . . . . I Hope The Research Was To Get Support From The Crazy Old Cat Lady Voting Bloc

Lesson #800 - Assholes . . . . . Go Into A Book And Stay There, You Jerk
Recitation #77 - Curving The Test . . . . . See, A Fastball Test Doesn't Curve. Get It?
Lesson #799 - Pat-downs . . . . . It Actually Is A Banana In My Pocket
Lesson #798 - Yoga . . . . . White Sheets = Best Exercise Apparel Ever
Lesson #797 - Source of Superpowers in the Fictional Human Body . . . . . Can Never Underestimate Heart
Lesson #796 - Victory Dances . . . . . If You Lose You Have To Dance Well
Lesson #795 - Virgin Offspring . . . . . Perhaps How They Make Certain Olive Oils
Lesson #794 - Aliases . . . . . "-icus" Also Works Instead Of "-imus"
Recitation #76 - Laboratory Relations . . . . . And If You Don't Do It In The Lab, Maybe
Lesson #793 - Really Bad Days . . . . . One Tentacle Is All You Need (Wink Wink)
Lesson #792 - The Burden of Proof . . . . . The Pudding May Or May Not Be In The Pie
Lesson #791 - The Ballot . . . . . Ryan North's T-Rex Is Not A Lizard Person

Lesson #790 - The End Of The World . . . . . Please Stop Stockpiling Zombie Repellent
Lesson #789 - Trick-or-Treating Fun For The Candy Givers . . . . . Nothing Says Fear Like The Fetal Position
Lesson #788 - Zombies vs. Vampires vs. Fishmen (Oh My) . . . . . Renaming Them "Tentacle Beasts" Only Appeals To The Creepy Pornography Fans
Recitation #75 - Head-and-Neck Only Halloween Costumes . . . . . It's All In The Delivery
Lesson #787 - Jack-O'-Lanterns . . . . . PREPARE FOR YOUR LOBOTOMY!
Lesson #786 - Halloween Enjoyment . . . . . Works On Several Horizontal Levels, Too, If You Catch My Insinuation
Lesson #785 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part II . . . . . You Want To Be WHAT?
Lesson #784 - The Demands Of Halloween Costumes On Parents . . . . . You Want To Be WHAT?
Lesson #783 - Halloween Costume Planning . . . . . Try Adjectives If You're Daring Enough
Lesson #782 - Facial Hair, Part II . . . . . Also "Lost A Bet"
Recitation #74 - Defenses . . . . . Would Love To See Someone Set A Pick
Lesson #781 - Gangs . . . . . More Than A Couple Steps Back

Lesson #780 - Conservation . . . . . Humor-chlorian Count Units
Lesson #779 - A Public Service Announcement . . . . . Doo Doo Doo Doo
Lesson #778 - Carrots . . . . . We Probably Only Have Canals Because Of Them Too!
Lesson #777 - Patience With Dogs . . . . . Take A Bite Out Of Noir
Lesson #776 - Expectations . . . . . Not Everyone On The Internet Thinks Everyone Else Is A Douche, But Some Do
Lesson #775 - Dealing With Internet-Based Customer Service . . . . . No, Really, Darn You, Bluehost
Lesson #774 - Career Choices . . . . . "Lube" Is Better Than "Surfacto"
Lesson #773 - Finding Targets . . . . . I Blame You, Curt Flood
Lesson #772 - Popularity . . . . . Most Popularity Is Negative, Anyway
Lesson #771 - Truth . . . . . True In Another Universe, Though

Lesson #770 - Weird . . . . . Normal Is Passe
Lesson #769 - Happiest Days . . . . . Doesn't Mean It Can't Be A Good Day
Recitation #73 - Good Girls and Bad Boys . . . . . I've Known Some Bad Girls In My Time
Lesson #768 - The Science of Winter . . . . . It's A Research Study For Venkman
Lesson #767 - Weather From Hell . . . . . Rain Down On You Like A Holy Terror
Lesson #766 - God and Man, Part II . . . . . Maybe God's Reflection? Whoa, That's Deep
Lesson #765 - Procrastination . . . . . That Glow Is Very "War Games"
Lesson #764 - Social Power . . . . . Everyone Makes Fun Of The Four-Eyed Man
Lesson #763 - Tastebuds . . . . . More Like Tastebros, Am I Right?
Lesson #762 - The Vote . . . . . What Do You Have To Lose?
Lesson #761 - Slugs . . . . . That Dead Slug, He Was Assaulted

Lesson #760 - Definitions, Part XIII . . . . . Hey, It's Better Than Douchebag
Lesson #759 - Meta Comedy . . . . . Laugh With Me! No, Really!
Lesson #758 - Religion . . . . . Or Dairy Acolytes
Lesson #757 - Bumper Stickers, Part II . . . . . There's A Joke-Her Joke In There Somewhere
Lesson #756 - Drinking . . . . . Drink A Forty, Get To Eighty
Recitation #72 - Robot Uprisings . . . . . No "Must Destroy Humans" No No NO NO
Lesson #755 - Muses . . . . . Yellow Isn't Half Bad
Lesson #754 - Doing The Right Thing . . . . . Nerves Too, But They're Everywhere
Lesson #753 - The Heimlich . . . . . At Least You Can't Scream In Pain
Lesson #752 - Team Names And Slogans . . . . . Or That Will Be On My Sign At Rallies
Lesson #751 - Pirates . . . . . The Sea Be A Cruel Mistress, Just Like God

Lesson #750 - Interpretations . . . . . Psychiatry Is Entirely Contained In That Box
Recitation #71 - Dinosaur Mating . . . . . Sex Certainly Left Them Sore-Us
Lesson #749 - Inspiring Others . . . . . Or They Wanted You To Go Pet Celebrities
Lesson #748 - Love Is . . . (Part II) . . . . . Sex Kitten Parallels Are Too Obvious
Lesson #747 - All Things Considered . . . . . Could You Get Hooked On Panda, Anyway?
Lesson #746 - Estrogen . . . . . Doses Of Steroids To Balance Out Your Meal
Lesson #745 - Meeting New People . . . . . Easier To Be A Wallflower Than Say Hi
Lesson #744 - Punditry, Part II . . . . . Or Bill and Ted
Recitation #70 - Iambic Pentameter . . . . . There Once Was A Man From - Ah, Forget It
Lesson #743 - Fun With Lasers . . . . . How Did The Cat Litter Get Dirty, Then?
Lesson #742 - Medicine On The Internet . . . . . I Must Have SARS!
Lesson #741 - Definitions, Part XII . . . . . At Least They Can't Dress A Certain Way

Lesson #740 - The Living Dead . . . . . Really It's Still A Horror Story
Lesson #739 - Roundness . . . . . One Letter Off From HMS
Lesson #738 - History Lessons . . . . . And How Their Lives Compare, I Suppose
Recitation #69 - Woodchucks . . . . . I Bet The Animals Have Complexes
Lesson #737 - Micronations . . . . . Exchange Rate Of 3.14 Pies To 1.34 Euros
Lesson #736 - Sex Education . . . . . I Went To A Catholic School And I Know What Happened On The Third Floor, OK?
Lesson #735 - Drug Etymology . . . . . Everyone Knows You Don't Cross Zeus
Lesson #734 - Human Reactions (Jumble) . . . . . Come On, It's Only Two Letters
Lesson #733 - Break-Up Lines . . . . . Singing It Might Just Turn Her On Though
Recitation #68 - Ph.D. . . . . . I Think I Pulled My Back Laughing That Hard
Lesson #732 - Office Decor . . . . . Maine Supports Creeping People Out
Guest Lecture #11 - Old Hoss Radbourn . . . . .
Guest Lecture #10 - Jessica Hagy . . . . .
Guest Lecture #9 - Zach Weiner . . . . .
Guest Lecture #8 - Christopher Moore . . . . .
Recitation #67 - Canine Appearances . . . . . Although It's All Black And White To Them
Lesson #731 - Batman . . . . . The Unit That Struck Fear In Criminals

Lesson #730 - Charm . . . . . Ladies Can Go Be Secretaries Or Cheerleaders
Lesson #729 - Censoring, Part II . . . . . The "Man" Is "Good Intentions"
Lesson #728 - Little Known Facts . . . . . The Back-Up Plan Is Meringue
Lesson #727 - Xenophobia . . . . . It's Hip Because It Starts With X
Lesson #726 - Bloggers . . . . . Reporting In The Internet Age
Lesson #725 - Personal Biological Hazards . . . . . Give Me Back Fred The Appendix
Lesson #724 - Terminology Etymology . . . . . Computers, Slang
Recitation #66 - Toothpaste . . . . . Atkins Cavity Protection
Lesson #723 - Hazing . . . . . Life Is Tough In Very Different Ways
Lesson #722 - Therapy . . . . . Tell Me About Your Mother
Lesson #721 - Pleasing Others . . . . . All You Have To Do Is Exist

Lesson #720 - The Power Of Fruit . . . . . Sudden Excess Of Juice Containers
Lesson #719 - Parent-Child Relationships . . . . . People Are Jerks But Man Are My Parents
Lesson #718 - Childhoods . . . . . A Lot Of What You Believe In Wasn't
Recitation #65 - Sex and Candy . . . . . Arousal, Music From The 90's, Sweets
Lesson #717 - CPR . . . . . Soon You'll Need To Kick The Person Too
Lesson #716 - Experience, Part V . . . . . The Correct Answer Is A "Grinder"
Lesson #715 - Graffiti . . . . . Chalk Does Not Leave Very Impressive Gang Tags
Lesson #714 - Preparations . . . . . Who Knows What Might Happen
Lesson #713 - Songs In Your Head . . . . . No No I Appreciate The Offer But Really
Lesson #712 - Colorful Rebellions . . . . . Color Spectrum
Recitation #64 - Cats . . . . . Sayings That Are A Little Out Of Date
Lesson #711 - This. . . . . . Communication

Lesson #710 - Crazy . . . . . This Logic Has Made Me Crazy So Therefore
Lesson #709 - Stupid, Stupid Ideas . . . . . Dumb Dumb Dumb
Lesson #708 - Audience Participation . . . . . I Said Good Morning Ow Ow Ow Stop That
Lesson #707 - Ethics . . . . . Ethics, Society
Lesson #706 - Symbols . . . . . Cartoons, Radiation
Recitation #63 - Teetotaling . . . . . Alcohol, Bodily Fluids
Lesson #705 - Internet Love . . . . . No I Really Am Your Age
Lesson #704 - Typos . . . . . Dinner Is Served, IT'S A COOKBOOK
Lesson #703 - Creeping People Out, Part VII . . . . . Chicken, Wide Creeped-Out Eyes
Lesson #702 - Flowers . . . . . Gifts, Marriage
Lesson #701 - Questionable Awards . . . . . College, Life, Races

Lesson #700 - Asses . . . . . Teasing With A Bite To It
Lesson #699 - Knees . . . . . Anatomy, Mafia
Lesson #698 - Discrimination, Part II . . . . . I Am A Victim Too, What A Coincidence
Lesson #697 - Organs . . . . . It's The Liver Or Stomach For Many People
Lesson #696 - Sports Cheers . . . . . Language, Sports
Lesson #695 - Credos . . . . . It's Not A Bad Plan If You Define 'Can'
Lesson #694 - Head Scratches . . . . . Hair, Turn-Ons
Lesson #693 - Muffins . . . . . Bad Eating Habits
Lesson #692 - Email . . . . . Communication
Lesson #691 - College Degrees . . . . . More People Would Respect Your College

Lesson #690 - Theme Bars . . . . . Fragrant Vagrants, Hip Places To Be
Lesson #689 - Relationship Difficulties . . . . . Nice Personalities, Relationships
Lesson #688 - Hype . . . . . This Is Gonna Be Huge
Lesson #687 - Independence Days . . . . . Patriotism, Politics
Lesson #686 - Dimensional Writing . . . . . Creative Writing
Lesson #685 - Group Names . . . . . Creepy People, Terminology
Lesson #684 - Crosswalks, Part III . . . . . Cars, Pedestrians
Lesson #683 - Imagination . . . . . Creativity Gets Wasted Anyway
Lesson #682 - Blockbuster Movies . . . . . Movies
Lesson #681 - Presentations, Part II . . . . . One Extreme Is More Fun Than The Other

Lesson #680 - Bad Decisions . . . . . The Intercept Is Normalized By Your Parents
Lesson #679 - Martians . . . . . Mass Hysteria
Recitation #62 - Clones . . . . . Egocentricity, Sex
Lesson #678 - Leadership . . . . . Setting the Standards
Lesson #677 - Morale and Professionalism . . . . . High Fives Can Be Totally Professional
Lesson #676 - Nickname Creativity . . . . . Dr. Jabberwocky
Lesson #675 - All-nighters . . . . . Late Nights and Little Sleep
Lesson #674 - Hairballs . . . . . Pets
Lesson #673 - Free Samples . . . . . You Gotta Try This
Recitation #61 - Drunk-Dialing . . . . . Stupid Acts of Humanity
Lesson #672 - Stereotypes and Knowledge . . . . . Foreign Language, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #671 - Marital Property . . . . . Marriage, Stories

Lesson #670 - Musicphiles . . . . . It's Hip To Be A Share-r, Music
Lesson #669 - Gay Parents . . . . . Parenting
Lesson #668 - Fun and Games . . . . . Sports
Recitation #60 - Mad Science . . . . . Mad Science
Lesson #667 - The World Cup And Other International Athletic Competitions . . . . . You've Had This Coming For A Long Time You Jerk
Lesson #666 - 666 . . . . . The Devil Is In The Cute Furry Details
Lesson #665 - Libidos . . . . . "Fetish" And "Mom" Shouldn't Go Together
Lesson #664 - Definitions, Part XI . . . . . Politics
Lesson #663 - Funerals . . . . . Life
Lesson #662 - Pillow Talk . . . . . Nullity Is An Awesome Word
Lesson #661 - Volume . . . . . Television

Lesson #660 - Anniversary, Part II . . . . . Anniversary Gifts
Lesson #659 - Relationship Math . . . . . Weirdos Abound
Lesson #658 - Tanning, Kind Of . . . . . Wear Sunscreen
Recitation #59 - High School . . . . . High School, Life
Lesson #657 - Hyperbole . . . . . The Internet
Lesson #656 - Arrogance and Stupidity . . . . . Certain Professors, Society
Lesson #655 - Reality TV . . . . . Television
Lesson #654 - Bad Therefore Great . . . . . Bad Therefore Great Puns
Lesson #653 - Salad . . . . . Dessert
Lesson #652 - Doing Stupid Things . . . . . One Of The Beauties Of Old Age
Recitation #58 - Liquid Attributes . . . . . Beverages
Lesson #651 - Literary Works . . . . . And A Lot Of Satire Today Is Crap

Lesson #650 - Bathroom Humor . . . . . Also Farts
Lesson #649 - Overdiagnosed . . . . . Sometimes ADHD Is Just Poor Discipline
Lesson #648 - True Stories . . . . . You Should Have Been There
Lesson #647 - Hatemail, Part II . . . . . Internet Rage
Lesson #646 - Husbands . . . . . Seriously, What Gives
Recitation #57 - Tea . . . . . Impossible Brews
Lesson #645 - Penetrating Gazes . . . . . Creepy Stares
Lesson #644 - Nonsense . . . . . Callooh, Callay, Frumious Bandersnatches
Lesson #643 - Overhearing Certain Conversations . . . . . Medical Gossip, Office Gossip
Lesson #642 - Tattoos . . . . . Body Art
Lesson #641 - Mothers and Children . . . . . Mothers

Lesson #640 - Knowledge, Part III . . . . . Knowledge, Seafood
Recitation #56 - Freezers . . . . . Surprise House Guests
Lesson #639 - Lifestyle . . . . . Food, Religion, Video Games
Lesson #638 - Genetic Engineering . . . . . Baby Names, Genetic Engineering, Literature
Lesson #637 - Censoring . . . . . 1.01110010011101E+30
Lesson #636 - Life . . . . . Every Silver Lining Has A Jerky Cloud
Lesson #635 - The Afterlife . . . . . Afterlife, Private Parts
Recitation #55 - Bears . . . . . Ursus Horribilis
Lesson #634 - Pride . . . . . People, Perception, Storytelling
Lesson #633 - Space . . . . . The Western Will Never Die
Lesson #632 - Groups . . . . . Society
Lesson #631 - Talking About Your Pets . . . . . Cuteness, Pets

Lesson #630 - Shaving . . . . . Facial Hair
Lesson #629 - Soap . . . . . Chemistry, Children, Swearing
Lesson #628 - Happiness . . . . . Life, Up To You
Recitation #54 - Seduction . . . . . Earth Guys Are Easy
Lesson #627 - Wisdom and Common Sense . . . . . Strange And New Cliches
Lesson #626 - Coffee and Dieting . . . . . Diets, Guts and Juices
Lesson #625 - Fighting Poor Attention Spans . . . . . Earth To Planet You, Meetings
Lesson #624 - Home Protection . . . . . If Your Watchdog Runs From Loud Noises
Lesson #623 - Exploration In The Modern Era . . . . . Exploration, Self-Serving Promotions
Lesson #622 - Gender Issues . . . . . Gender, Language Humor Is The Best
Recitation #53 - Insects . . . . . Insects, Sense of Direction
Lesson #621 - Mindless Devotion . . . . . Religion, Science

Lesson #620 - Canine Conversions . . . . . Canines, Exercise
Lesson #619 - Chemistry . . . . . One Man's Osmium Tetroxide Is Another's HGH
Lesson #618 - Irony . . . . . Humor
Lesson #617 - Nightmares . . . . . Dreams, Sleeping, Strange Looks
Lesson #616 - Double Entendres . . . . . Hurr Hurr, Language, Sex, Slang
Recitation #52 - Reading A Good Book . . . . . Good Books
Lesson #615 - Similarities To Blood Donors . . . . . Blood Or Sex Not Blood And Sex
Lesson #614 - Comedy . . . . . Clueless Or No Concept Of Humor
Lesson #613 - Biology . . . . . Innards
Lesson #612 - Sex . . . . . Unless You're Being Sarcastic Maybe
Lesson #611 - Brains . . . . . Brains Are Tough To Draw

Lesson #610 - Pandora's Box . . . . . Mythology, Today
Recitation #51 - Office Spirit Animals . . . . . Creatures, Organization
Lesson #609 - Innovative Engineering . . . . . Engineering, Freeganism For Students
Lesson #608 - Parenting . . . . . Actual Parents Are Bad Apparently
Lesson #607 - Definitions, Part X . . . . . Meetings Are Straitjackets For The Creative
Lesson #606 - Amoebas . . . . . Science, Single Celled Organisms
Lesson #605 - Internet Rules . . . . . Porn, Rules
Lesson #604 - Gambling . . . . . Naming Rights, Risks
Recitation #50 - Fire . . . . . Bonfires, Trogdor
Lesson #603 - Other Interpretations . . . . . My Essence Is Leaking
Lesson #602 - Pets, Part II . . . . . Bats Are Questionable Pets, Rabies
Lesson #601 - Synesthesia . . . . . Neurology, Superpowers

Lesson #600 - Poachers . . . . . Fabric, Literals
Lesson #599 - God . . . . . Canines, Religion
Lesson #598 - Everyone's Opinion Of Someone On The Internet (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Perceptions, The Internet
Recitation #49 - Bar Arguments, Part III (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Bad Movies, Maine's Obvious Rooting Interest
Lesson #597 - Unique College Team Nicknames (Bracket Week II) . . . . . And Chokers Didn't Make The Short List
Lesson #596 - St. Patrick's Day (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Fiddle Music, Heavy Stouts, Ireland
Lesson #595 - Breakfast Foods (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Tough But Tasty Way To Start Off The Morning
Lesson #594 - Global Warming (Bracket Week II) . . . . . Science
Lesson #593 - Dubbing . . . . . Cursing, Movies, Television
Lesson #592 - Lost Friends . . . . . Stupid Body Parts
Recitation #48 - Strategies . . . . . Games With Bizarre Strategies
Lesson #591 - Student-Teacher Interactions . . . . . School

Lesson #590 - Slogans . . . . . Politics, Sports
Lesson #589 - The Relationship Commandments . . . . . When I Say Oh God Around You It Does Not Mean What You Think It Does
Lesson #588 - Amputation . . . . . Humor
Lesson #587 - Commenting . . . . . Why Fighting Crap On The Internet Is Hard
Lesson #586 - Trust . . . . . Giant Lumpy Darts, Pets
Student Presentation #5 - Phone Calls From Children . . . . .
Student Presentation #4 - Picketing . . . . .
Student Presentation #3 - Microwave Tips . . . . .
Student Presentation #2 - Attraction . . . . .
Student Presentation #1 - Ethical Theories . . . . .
Lesson #585 - Meat Additives . . . . . Mystery Meat
Lesson #584 - Snow, Part II . . . . . Nature, Precipitation
Recitation #47 - Stealing Historical Credit . . . . . Historical Plagiarism, Time Travel
Lesson #583 - Scandals . . . . . The Continued Laziness of the Media
Lesson #582 - Wine . . . . . Drinking, Vagrants
Lesson #581 - Planning Your Future . . . . . Careers

Lesson #580 - The Original Story . . . . . Gorillas, Movies, Stories
Lesson #579 - Blasphemy . . . . . Language, Loopholes, Religion
Lesson #578 - Artistic Classifications . . . . . Literature, The Arts
Recitation #46 - Pick-Up Lines . . . . . Well Hello Ladies
Lesson #577 - Meetings, Part II . . . . . Meetings, The Fourth Dimension
Lesson #576 - What Are Friends For . . . . . Hey Can You Do Me A Solid
Lesson #575 - Definitions, Part IX . . . . . Spanish Language Humor
Lesson #574 - The Olympics, Part II . . . . . Energy, Sports
Lesson #573 - Valentine's Day Rebuke . . . . . Commercial Holidays, True Love
Lesson #572 - Territorial Disputes . . . . . Climate Change, Land, Oil, Swine
Recitation #45 - Murder Scene . . . . . Rube Goldberg, Scene of the Crime
Lesson #571 - Pluralization . . . . . Chaos, Language

Lesson #570 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part III . . . . . Religion
Lesson #569 - The World We Live In . . . . . Something Insulting About The Queen
Lesson #568 - Classy . . . . . High Style or Bathroom Humor
Lesson #567 - Football and Hockey . . . . . Sports
Lesson #566 - Professional Prerequisites . . . . . Exams, Law, Radio
Recitation #44 - Kissing . . . . . Romance
Lesson #565 - Life and Baseball . . . . . The Ol' Baseball-Is-Life Metaphor
Lesson #564 - A Letter To Dogs . . . . . Cold, Pets, The Dog Dance
Lesson #563 - Groundhog Day . . . . . Animal Rebellions
Lesson #562 - Dressing For Warmth . . . . . Clothing, Public Displays
Lesson #561 - Education . . . . . Education

Lesson #560 - Pregnancy . . . . . Children, What Looks Like Incredible Pain
Recitation #43 - Eating . . . . . Food, Gender
Lesson #559 - Movie Lessons . . . . . Excellent Adventures, Movies, Parenting
Lesson #558 - Photocomics . . . . . Art, Comics, Creativity, No Nudity
Lesson #557 - Trips . . . . . Trips
Lesson #556 - Parental Visits . . . . . Are You An Adult Now Or Not
Lesson #555 - Angels . . . . . Things Told To Kids That Are Taken Too Far
Lesson #554 - Photography, Part II . . . . . Cultures, Souls
Recitation #42 - Relationship Spark . . . . . Relationships
Lesson #553 - Professional Expectations . . . . . Creativity, Professions
Lesson #552 - College Libraries . . . . . College, Future
Lesson #551 - High Style . . . . . Class, Pets

Lesson #550 - Hybrid Creatures . . . . . Food, Hybrids
Lesson #549 - The Internet Will Save Everything . . . . . Board Games, The Internet
Lesson #548 - Fruit Fixes . . . . . Drugs, Unhealthy Love For Fruit
Recitation #41 - Trees . . . . . Carbon Dioxide Bars
Lesson #547 - Winter Wonderland . . . . . Snow
Lesson #546 - Ink Stains . . . . . Purple Is Your Liver Rebelling Against You
Lesson #545 - Winter . . . . . Some Stuff Does Make Up For The Cold
Lesson #544 - Angles of Conversation . . . . . Conversations, Protractors, Public Gatherings
Lesson #543 - Cursing, Part II . . . . . Anatomy, Foul Language
Lesson #542 - Idioms, Part II . . . . . Potentially Of Significance to Australia
Recitation #40 - Soul Mates . . . . . You're Really Great But Let's Not Ruin What We Have
Lesson #541 - License Plates . . . . . Literature, Villainy

Lesson #540 - Fortune Cookies . . . . . Fate, Language, Sex
Lesson #539 - Public Declarations . . . . . No Sense Of Privacy, Proposals
Lesson #538 - Creeping People Out, Part VI . . . . . Strange Looks In Public
Lesson #537 - Idioms . . . . . Animals, Deaths
Recitation #39 - Octopi . . . . . Cephalopods, Humanity's Rulers
Lesson #536 - New Hats . . . . . Clothing
Lesson #535 - New Year's Eve . . . . . Parties, Promises To Yourself
Lesson #534 - Well-Dressed . . . . . Clothing, Relationships
Lesson #533 - Top Ten Lists . . . . . Critics, Media Of Any Kind, Top Tens
Lesson #532 - Specialness . . . . . Mathematics, Society
Lesson #531 - Pets . . . . . Children, Pets

Lesson #530 - Webcomics . . . . . Backlogs, Internet, Wasting Time
Lesson #529 - Christmas Births . . . . . Birthdays, Holidays
Lesson #528 - Christmas Music . . . . . Creativity, Holidays, Music
Lesson #527 - Eggnog . . . . . Drinks, Holidays
Lesson #526 - Ornaments . . . . . Decorations, Holidays
Lesson #525 - Mistletoe . . . . . Holidays, Kissing
Lesson #524 - The Bible, Part II . . . . . Literature, Religion
Recitation #38 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part VI . . . . . Phobias, Stairs
Lesson #523 - Experience, Part IV . . . . . Dancing, Holiday Specials
Lesson #522 - Obesity . . . . . Overeating, Snow Sports
Lesson #521 - Salvation Army . . . . . Charity, Christmas, Guilt

Lesson #520 - Handshakes . . . . . Strong Grips, Threat-Filled Hellos
Lesson #519 - Puns . . . . . Humor
Lesson #518 - Glasses . . . . . Eyewear
Lesson #517 - Camp Songs . . . . . Bill Grogan, Johnny Vorbeck
Recitation #37 - Cannibalism Ethics . . . . . Ethics, Life Purposes, Sources of Food
Lesson #516 - Marital Disputes . . . . . Expressions, Threats
Lesson #515 - Victorious Trash Talk . . . . . Boasts, Society
Lesson #514 - Season's Greetings . . . . . Holidays, Spice
Lesson #513 - Living in "The Future" . . . . . Science, Society
Lesson #512 - Agnostics . . . . . Christmas, Politics, Religion
Lesson #511 - Breakfast . . . . . Food
Recitation #36 - Academic Bribes . . . . . Word Bribes Are The Best Kind

Lesson #510 - Letters (Brought To You By The Letter 'C') . . . . . A Healthy Dose of Reality
Lesson #509 - Literary Themes . . . . . Writer's Intention
Lesson #508 - Vampires . . . . . Blood, Diseases
Lesson #507 - Spitting . . . . . Excess Saliva
Lesson #506 - Anecdotes . . . . . Cutlery, Stories
Recitation #35 - Contraception . . . . . Gene Pools, Pets, Sex
Lesson #505 - Races . . . . . Running, Turkey
Lesson #504 - Ben Franklin . . . . . Turkey, Wenches
Lesson #503 - Organic Food . . . . . Geneticists, Turkey
Lesson #502 - Dance Moves . . . . . Dancing Fools
Lesson #501 - Water . . . . . Alien Life, Science

Lesson #500 - Men in Uniform . . . . . Boy Scouts, Rules of Attraction
Lesson #499 - Generation Gaps, Part II . . . . . Old People, Toothpaste, Zombies
Recitation #34 - Book Burning . . . . . Literature, Vampires
Lesson #498 - Inner Voices . . . . . Age, Self
Lesson #497 - Hiding the Truth . . . . . Conspiracies, Mistruths, Outright Lies
Lesson #496 - Fighting Boredom, Part II . . . . . Croquet, Fighting Boredom
Lesson #495 - Roommate Approval Process, Part II . . . . . Questionnaire, Roommates
Lesson #494 - Humor . . . . . Life Philosophies
Lesson #493 - Violated . . . . . Procedures, Violations
Recitation #33 - Dante and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day . . . . . Art, Sea Cows
Lesson #492 - Product Approval . . . . . Side Effects
Lesson #491 - The Laws of Conservation . . . . . Science, Society

Lesson #490 - Germaphobes and Non-Germaphobes . . . . . Disgusting Habits
Lesson #489 - Semantics . . . . . Cannibalism, Pets
Lesson #488 - Acceptance . . . . . Gay Marriage, Generation Gap, Robots
Lesson #487 - Sneezing . . . . . Brutal Noises, Hi-Ya
Recitation #32 - Actions, Words, Pens, and Swords . . . . . Alexander Hamilton
Lesson #486 - Psychologists . . . . . Rats In A Maze
Lesson #485 - Toes . . . . . Feet, Legends
Lesson #484 - The Butt of the Joke . . . . . Humor
Lesson #483 - "Sexy" . . . . . Minimalist Vocabularies, Overused Terms
Lesson #482 - The Walk of Shame . . . . . Halloween, Shame
Lesson #481 - Monsters . . . . . Halloween, Monsters, Pop Culture

Lesson #480 - Abstract Halloween Costumes . . . . . Costumes, Halloween, Nonsense
Lesson #479 - The Perfect Murder . . . . . Cooking Chemistry, Nefarious Schemes
Lesson #478 - Perennials . . . . . Plants
Lesson #477 - Job Fairs . . . . . College, Jobs
Lesson #476 - Manners . . . . . Brains, Manners
Lesson #475 - Home-Cooked Meals . . . . . Food
Lesson #474 - Life Perspective . . . . . Dreams, Life, Literature
Recitation #31 - Conditional Love . . . . . Love, Pets
Lesson #473 - Compliments and Putdowns, Part II . . . . . Aftershave, Sweat
Lesson #472 - Writer's Block: A Visualization . . . . . Sensory Overload
Lesson #471 - Elderly Parents . . . . . Hampsters, Parents

Lesson #470 - Bad Jokes . . . . . Humor
Lesson #469 - Good Looks . . . . . Carpeting
Lesson #468 - Snow . . . . . Weather
Recitation #30 - Spandex . . . . . Crazies, Superheroes
Lesson #467 - Geneticists . . . . . Grapefrowl, Octoparrot
Lesson #466 - Idiocy on the Roads . . . . . Crosswalks
Lesson #465 - Witches . . . . . Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble, Children
Lesson #464 - Sidekicks . . . . . Partners
Lesson #463 - The Evolution of Music . . . . . Music, Tone
Lesson #462 - Strange Sayings . . . . . Friends
Lesson #461 - The Evolution of Running . . . . . Aging, Running

Lesson #460 - Apples . . . . . How Do You Like Them Apples
Lesson #459 - Drinking Games, Part II . . . . . Alcohol, Hypocrisy, Perception
Lesson #458 - Scents . . . . . Urine
Lesson #457 - Compliments and Putdowns . . . . . Open to Interpretation
Lesson #456 - Strangers . . . . . Outsiders
Lesson #455 - Confetti . . . . . Weddings
Recitation #29 - Sign Language . . . . . Punches Solve All Problems But Violence
Lesson #454 - Truth in Audiovisual Presentations . . . . . Details Schmetails, Story Adjustments
Lesson #453 - Construction Delays . . . . . Delays, Jerks
Lesson #452 - Night Running . . . . . Midnight Run
Lesson #451 - Free Verse . . . . . Poetry

Lesson #450 - Canine Math . . . . . Correlations, Dogs
Lesson #449 - The Horror - Science Fiction Genre . . . . . Horror, Octopi, Science Fiction
Lesson #448 - Punditry . . . . . Relative Greatness, Talking Heads
Lesson #447 - Literary Criticism . . . . . Criticism
Lesson #446 - Definitions, Part VIII . . . . . Heat, Powerhouse of the Cell
Lesson #445 - Dancing . . . . . Ballrooms
Lesson #444 - Fashion, Part II . . . . . Fashion, Public Near-Nudity
Lesson #443 - Catholic School Dances . . . . . Catholicism
Lesson #442 - Sailing . . . . . Boats, Yar
Recitation #28 - Pet Names . . . . . Pets, Yeah Toast
Lesson #441 - Individuality . . . . . Anticonformity

Lesson #440 - Contracts . . . . . Blood, Moving
Lesson #439 - Historical Retrospective: The Middle Ages . . . . . Those Who Forget The Past Allow The Minor Details To Stay Forgotten
Lesson #438 - Fill In The Blank . . . . . Romance, Spy Movies
Lesson #437 - Bait . . . . . Damsels in Distress
Lesson #436 - Chivalry . . . . . Ugly Venn Diagrams
Recitation #27 - Penguins . . . . . Food
Lesson #435 - Raw Diets . . . . . Dieting, Evolution, Zombies
Lesson #434 - Alien Abductions . . . . . Aliens, Dolphins
Lesson #433 - Fist-Bumps . . . . . The Evolution of the High Five
Lesson #432 - Phone Calls . . . . . Conversations, Revenge
Guest Lecture #7 - Andrew Rees . . . . .
Guest Lecture #6 - Spenser . . . . .
Guest Lecture #5 - Sarahthe . . . . .
Guest Lecture #4 - Union of Heroes . . . . .
Guest Lecture #3 - Ithacork . . . . .
Guest Lecture #2 - Skidmore Bluffs . . . . .
Guest Lecture #1 - O31 . . . . .
Lesson #431 - Theater Auditions . . . . . Society, Theater
Recitation #26 - Cat Diplomacy . . . . . Pets

Lesson #430 - Wedding Drama . . . . . Entertainment, Weddings
Lesson #429 - College Relationships . . . . . College, Relationships
Lesson #428 - Opinions . . . . . Architecture, Society
Lesson #427 - Chalk . . . . . Chalk, Science, Teachers
Lesson #426 - Lawsuits . . . . . False Advertising, Superstrength
Lesson #425 - Photography . . . . . Cameras, Society
Lesson #424 - Talking to Yourself . . . . . Pets, Thoughts
Recitation #25 - Orientation . . . . . College, Life
Lesson #423 - Theme Songs . . . . . Catchy Tunes, Television
Lesson #422 - Titles . . . . . Cheese, Fanciness, Religion
Lesson #421 - Misperceptions . . . . . Marijuana, Sex

Lesson #420 - In Common . . . . . Farming, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #419 - Sharks . . . . . Fish, Society
Lesson #418 - Eyebrows . . . . . Creeping People Out
Recitation #24 - Lost Loves . . . . . Life, Relationships
Lesson #417 - Posters . . . . . Art, Decoration
Lesson #416 - Instruments . . . . . Music, War
Lesson #415 - Pop Culture . . . . . Culture, Sesame Street, Society
Lesson #414 - Hiking . . . . . Hiking, Safety
Lesson #413 - Nutritional Facts . . . . . Food, Mathematics, Society
Lesson #412 - Wedding Gifts . . . . . Weddings
Recitation #23 - Hospital Stays . . . . . Medicine, Scars, Tans
Lesson #411 - Service . . . . . Venn Diagrams

Lesson #410 - Encores . . . . . Fans, Music
Lesson #409 - Experience, Part III . . . . . Intimidation, Warnings
Lesson #408 - Journalism . . . . . Objectivity, Pundits
Lesson #407 - Theater . . . . . Theater
Lesson #406 - Conformity . . . . . Individuality, Society
Recitation #22 - Energy Boosts . . . . . Energy, Grapefruit
Lesson #405 - Conspiracy Theories . . . . . Grinders, Profits
Lesson #404 - Death . . . . . Death, Heroism, Urine
Lesson #403 - Power . . . . . Science
Lesson #402 - S & M . . . . . Clothing, Fetishes
Lesson #401 - Black Holes . . . . . Nonsense, Science

Lesson #400 - Juice Perspectives . . . . . Juice, Ladies of the Night, Nemeses
Recitation #21 - Comebacks . . . . . Comebacks, It's All In The Delivery
Lesson #399 - Foreign Languages . . . . . Communication, Understanding
Lesson #398 - Creative Success . . . . . Creativity, Fans
Lesson #397 - Wrinkles . . . . . Facial Distortions
Lesson #396 - Wish You Were Here . . . . . Postcards, Text Messages
Lesson #395 - Love Is . . . . . . . . Love, Nonsense
Lesson #394 - Pickup Trucks . . . . . Moving, Trucks
Recitation #20 - Pavlov and Schr�dinger . . . . . Boxing, Science
Lesson #393 - Belgian Beers . . . . . Belgium, Drinking, Women
Lesson #392 - Monkey Feet . . . . . Evolution, Feet, Science
Lesson #391 - Brawls . . . . . Baseball, Brawls

Lesson #390 - The Senses . . . . . Senses, Sex
Lesson #389 - News Broadcasts . . . . . News
Lesson #388 - Police . . . . . Authority Figures
Recitation #19 - Creeping People Out, Part V . . . . . Creeping People Out, Woodsman Tools
Lesson #387 - Animal Happiness . . . . . Animals, Joy
Lesson #386 - Traffic Circles . . . . . Driving
Lesson #385 - Language . . . . . Communication, Music
Lesson #384 - Brushing Your Teeth . . . . . Art, Dance, Teeth
Lesson #383 - Political Spectrum, Part II . . . . . Music, Politics
Lesson #382 - Patriotism . . . . . Independence Day
Recitation #18 - Family Lessons . . . . . Family, Personal Growth
Lesson #381 - Reproductive Dating . . . . . Children, Reality Television, Reproduction

Lesson #380 - Customers . . . . . Customers
Lesson #379 - The Man . . . . . Footwear, Society
Lesson #378 - Crosswalks, Part II . . . . . Crosswalks, Walking
Lesson #377 - Meaning . . . . . Beliefs, Broken Mirrors, Superstition
Lesson #376 - Fonts . . . . . Random Symbols
Recitation #17 - The Zombie Apocalypse . . . . . Brains, Survivial, Uprisings, Zombies
Lesson #375 - Planetary Collisions . . . . . Astronomy, Science, Supervillains
Lesson #374 - Haircuts . . . . . Unruly Hair
Lesson #373 - Warnings . . . . . High Voltage, Signs, Superpowers
Lesson #372 - Scars . . . . . Storytelling, Wounds
Lesson #371 - Laughter . . . . . Happiness, Humor

Lesson #370 - Heart Attacks . . . . . First Aid
Recitation #16 - Animal Cognition . . . . . Animals, Cognitive Processes, Revenge
Lesson #369 - Military Research . . . . . Animals, Bombs, Military, Science
Lesson #368 - Predestination . . . . . Religion
Lesson #367 - Children's Books . . . . . Children's Literature, Inspiration
Lesson #366 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part V . . . . . Phobias, Romance
Lesson #365 - European Backpacking . . . . . Backpacking, Night Trains
Lesson #364 - Home Improvements . . . . . Homes
Recitation #15 - Guest Beds . . . . . Beds, Guests, Visits
Lesson #363 - Mobs . . . . . Mobs, Pitchforks, Torches
Lesson #362 - Boxers . . . . . Camouflage, Near Nakedness
Lesson #361 - Soap Operas . . . . . Creativity, Drama, Nuns

Lesson #360 - Slurs . . . . . Animals, Foul Language
Lesson #359 - Shipwrecks . . . . . The Sea, She Be A Harsh Mistress
Lesson #358 - Definitions, Part VII . . . . . Swearing
Recitation #14 - Love . . . . . Relationships, Romancs, Syringes
Lesson #357 - Vocal Octaves . . . . . Clefs, Music, Voices
Lesson #356 - Physique . . . . . Fitness
Lesson #355 - The Near Future . . . . . Future, Science Fiction
Lesson #354 - Political Spectrum . . . . . Hippies, Gun Nuts, Politics
Lesson #353 - Anniversary . . . . . Anniversary Gifts
Lesson #352 - Facial Hair . . . . . Hair, Shaving, Tufts
Lesson #351 - School Uniforms . . . . . Clothing, High School, Individuality

Lesson #350 - Cold Turkey . . . . . Quitting
Lesson #349 - Miracle Cures . . . . . "Medicine", Side Effects
Lesson #348 - Nerds . . . . . Humor, Society
Lesson #347 - Justice, Part II . . . . . Justice, Society
Lesson #346 - Freedom of Religion . . . . . Penguins, Politics, Puritans, Religion
Lesson #345 - Referees . . . . . Power, Sports
Lesson #344 - Catfish . . . . . Alternative Punchlines, Fish
Lesson #343 - Snacks . . . . . Dieting, Food
Lesson #342 - Comic Book Flowchart . . . . . Battles, Superheroes
Lesson #341 - Human Growth Hormone . . . . . Disease, Performance Enhancing Drugs, Sports

Lesson #340 - Presentations . . . . . Colors, Presentations, Professionalism
Lesson #339 - Collars . . . . . Careers, Clothing, College, Greek System
Lesson #338 - Airport Security . . . . . Airports, Feet, National Security
Lesson #337 - Meaning and Intent . . . . . Dictionary Disappointment, Roads
Lesson #336 - Miracles . . . . . Lavish Praise, Religion, Xenophobia
Lesson #335 - Newspapers . . . . . Comics, Cost, Information, Newspapers
Lesson #334 - Music Critics . . . . . Critics, Flowchart, Music
Lesson #333 - Standing Ovations . . . . . Applause
Lesson #332 - Extreme Gambling . . . . . Apocalypse, Disease, Energy, Gambling
Lesson #331 - Opposable Thumbs . . . . . Fingers, Pets

Lesson #330 - A Simple Guide To Identifying Bite Marks . . . . . Animals, Bites, Vampires
Lesson #329 - Public Nudity . . . . . Nudity, Temperature
Lesson #328 - Cheese . . . . . Armageddon, Dairy Products, Religion
Lesson #327 - Cinco de Mayo . . . . . Condiments, Holidays
Lesson #326 - Prophetic Toys . . . . . Toys
Lesson #325 - Amnesia . . . . . Entertainment, Maladies, Memory
Lesson #324 - Decades . . . . . Years
Lesson #323 - Student - Professor Interaction . . . . . College, Professors, Students
Lesson #322 - Creeping People Out, Part IV . . . . . Being Creepy, Groceries
Lesson #321 - Archrivals . . . . . Enemies, People

Lesson #320 - The Food Pyramid . . . . . Conspiracies, Food, Geometry
Lesson #319 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part IV . . . . . Phobias, Towers
Lesson #318 - Cloning . . . . . Pets, Science
Lesson #317 - Robots . . . . . Laws, Robots
Lesson #316 - Blood . . . . . Cyborgs, Science
Lesson #315 - Beethoven . . . . . Classical Music, History, Senses
Lesson #314 - First Drafts, Part III . . . . . Creepiness, Music, Romance
Lesson #313 - Squirrels . . . . . Explosions, Reproductive Control, Rodents
Lesson #312 - Messing With People . . . . . Nightlife, Politics, Science
Lesson #311 - Hunting . . . . . Deer, Overpopulation

Lesson #310 - Cursing . . . . . Age, Equestrian, Swearing
Recitation #13 - Castaways . . . . . Cannibalism, Shipwrecks, Survivors
Lesson #309 - Cougars . . . . . Nudity, Older Women
Lesson #308 - Infomercials . . . . . Advertisements, Television
Lesson #307 - The Police . . . . . Baked Goods, Police
Lesson #306 - Creeping People Out, Part III . . . . . Being Creepy, Pets
Lesson #305 - Fingerless Gloves . . . . . Clothing
Lesson #304 - Hooking Up . . . . . Disease, Slang
Lesson #303 - Doctorates . . . . . Education, Science
Lesson #302 - Guilty Pleasures . . . . . Music, Reality Television, Snacks
Lesson #301 - Belated Birthday Wishes . . . . . Birthdays, Excuses

Lesson #300 - Bumper Stickers . . . . . Pets, Planes, Religion, Tropes
Lesson #299 - References . . . . . Essays, Internet, References
Lesson #298 - Words . . . . . Words
Lesson #297 - Alternative Cults . . . . . Cults, Zombies
Lesson #296 - Scrabble . . . . . Games, Science
Lesson #295 - Definitions, Part VI . . . . . Chaos, Foosball
Lesson #294 - Dog Biology . . . . . Biology, Canines
Lesson #293 - Plant Pain . . . . . Plants, Vegetarians
Lesson #292 - Coming of Age . . . . . Age, Laws
Lesson #291 - Knowledge, Part II . . . . . Learning, Politics

Lesson #290 - Knowledge . . . . . Learning, Teachers
Lesson #289 - Prenuptials . . . . . Children, Marriage
Lesson #288 - Alternate Universes, Part II . . . . . Alternate Realities
Lesson #287 - True Fans, Part II . . . . . Fandom, Laundry, Sports
Lesson #286 - Explaining the Economy . . . . . Computing, Economics
Lesson #285 - Crosswalks . . . . . Buzzer-beaters, Celebrations, Walking
Lesson #284 - Rumors . . . . . Lies, Milk, Stories
Lesson #283 - Noise . . . . . Noise, Singing
Recitation #12 - Erasers . . . . . Cleaning
Lesson #282 - Fermented Four (Bracket Week) . . . . . Brackets, Drinking
Lesson #281 - Physics (Bracket Week) . . . . . Science

Lesson #280 - Bar Fights (Bracket Week) . . . . . Bars, Brackets, Drinking, Fights
Lesson #279 - Science vs. Religion (Bracket Week) . . . . . Brackets, Religion, Science
Lesson #278 - Creationism . . . . . Marxism, Religion, Science
Lesson #277 - New Cars . . . . . Vehicles, Wealth
Lesson #276 - Discipline . . . . . Behavior, Discipline, Upbringing
Lesson #275 - Signs . . . . . Astrology, Religion
Lesson #274 - Definitions, Part V . . . . . German, Rivalries, Sports, Surgery
Lesson #273 - Runners . . . . . Exercise, Math
Lesson #272 - Buying Drinks (Or, Pick Your Own Punchline) . . . . . Bars, Drinks, Pick-up Moves
Lesson #271 - Bar Arguments, Part II . . . . . Bar Arguments, Rebellions

Lesson #270 - Territory . . . . . Neighbors, Urination
Lesson #269 - Laundry, Part II . . . . . Boxers, Laundry
Lesson #268 - College Radio . . . . . College, Music, Opera, Radio
Lesson #267 - Breakfast Creations . . . . . Breakfast, Mornings
Lesson #266 - Old Video Games . . . . . Group Participation, Real Life, Video Games
Lesson #265 - New Music . . . . . College, Holidays, Music, Parents
Lesson #264 - College Choosing, Part III . . . . . College, Drinking, Tours
Lesson #263 - Construction Delays . . . . . Construction, Mafia
Recitation #11 - Facebook Rejections . . . . . Internet Friends
Lesson #262 - Medicinal Breakthroughs . . . . . Explosives, Medicine
Lesson #261 - True Fans, Part I . . . . . Fandom, Sports

Lesson #260 - Riots . . . . . Crazed People, Yellow Tape
Lesson #259 - Creeping People Out, Part II . . . . . Being Creepy, College, Tours
Lesson #258 - Roadkill . . . . . Dead Things, Initiative
Lesson #257 - Experience, Part II . . . . . Nostrils
Recitation #10 - Questions For Teachers . . . . . High School, Mocking
Lesson #256 - Toxicity . . . . . Chemistry, Uteri
Lesson #255 - Originality . . . . . Creativity, Drugs, Rip-Offs
Lesson #254 - Showers . . . . . Environment, Mathematics, Showers, Soap
Lesson #253 - Alien Forms . . . . . Aliens, Humanish Creatures
Lesson #252 - Generation Gaps . . . . . Aging, Making Marks
Lesson #251 - Valentine's Day Apathy . . . . . Holidays, Poetry

Lesson #250 - NSFW . . . . . Elderly, Nakedness
Lesson #249 - Urination . . . . . Urination
Lesson #248 - Steroids . . . . . Baseball, Drugs, Responsibility, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #247 - Fashion . . . . . Awkward Stares, Fashion, Style
Lesson #246 - Hands-Free . . . . . Phones, Public Privacy
Lesson #245 - Poker . . . . . Games, Idiots, Luck
Lesson #244 - Artificial Intelligence . . . . . Science, Technology
Lesson #243 - Snowfall . . . . . Imperial Unit System, Snow
Lesson #242 - Singing and Dancing . . . . . Public Spectacles
Lesson #241 - Fighting Boredom . . . . . Dinosaurs, Fighting Boredom, Impressions

Lesson #240 - Egg Donors . . . . . Donors, Siblings
Lesson #239 - Degrees of Separation . . . . . Humanity
Lesson #238 - Walking . . . . . Life, Puns
Lesson #237 - Superpowers . . . . . Captain Planet, Flash, Superpowers
Lesson #236 - Meetings . . . . . Attention Span, Work
Lesson #235 - Hell . . . . . Afterlife, Classics, Religion
Lesson #234 - Creeping People Out . . . . . Being Creepy, Children
Lesson #233 - Sign Language . . . . . Communication, Reptiles
Lesson #232 - College Charters . . . . . College, Remnants of Forgotten Eras
Lesson #231 - The Economy . . . . . Careers, Economy, Students

Lesson #230 - Multi-tasking . . . . . Annoying People
Lesson #229 - Cold Coffee . . . . . Coffee, Leftovers
Lesson #228 - Fan Art vs. Fan Fiction . . . . . Art, Creativity, Literature, Sex
Lesson #227 - Strays . . . . . Frickin' Cat Whisperers, Relationships
Lesson #226 - Vampirism . . . . . Eternal Youth, Religion, Vampires
Lesson #225 - Musical Genres, Part II . . . . . Mathematics, Music, Pop
Lesson #224 - Plants . . . . . Knives, Plants
Lesson #223 - Groundbreaking Developments . . . . . College, Pets, Professors, Science
Lesson #222 - Canadian Weather Systems . . . . . Al Roker, Provinces, Weather, Wrestling Names
Lesson #221 - Coffee First Dates . . . . . Coffee, Dating

Lesson #220 - Hyphenation . . . . . Careers, Punctuation
Lesson #219 - Types of People . . . . . Life Philosophies
Lesson #218 - Skirts . . . . . College, Fashion, Women
Lesson #217 - Saints . . . . . Hope, Religion
Lesson #216 - Tinfoil Hats . . . . . Conspiracies, Paranoia, Science
Recitation #9 - Nuns (Or, A Comic In Four Panels) . . . . . Good Questions, Nuns, Religion, Shaving
Lesson #215 - Problem Solving . . . . . Pets, Problem Solving
Lesson #214 - College Break . . . . . College, Parents
Lesson #213 - Dead Maps . . . . . Conspiracies, Pilgrims, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #212 - Axioms . . . . . Axioms, Classics, Parenting
Lesson #211 - Bad Cocktail Ideas, Part II . . . . . Common Sense, Drinking, Recipes, Taste

Lesson #210 - Local News . . . . . Career, Future, Success
Lesson #209 - Supernames . . . . . Creativity, Superheroes
Lesson #208 - Resolutions . . . . . Dieting, New Year, Revenge
Lesson #207 - New Year's Parties . . . . . Drinking, Parties, Thought Process
Lesson #206 - Romantic Movies . . . . . Cause and Effect, Movies, Relationships, Science
Lesson #205 - Bed Contentment . . . . . Happiness, Pets, Sleeping
Lesson #204 - Snowball Etiquette . . . . . Manners, Snow, Winter
Lesson #203 - Musical Repetition . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #202 - Things You Hope To Never Say . . . . . . . . Food, Holidays, Pets
Lesson #201 - Christmas Truth . . . . . Holidays, Stories

Lesson #200 - Year In Review . . . . . Holidays, Rhymes, Round Numbers
Lesson #199 - The True Meaning of Christmas Songs, Part II . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #198 - The True Meaning of Christmas Songs, Part I . . . . . Holidays, Music
Lesson #197 - Moss . . . . . Axioms, Trees
Lesson #196 - Confusing Things . . . . . Food, Puzzles, Religion, Sports
Recitation #8 - Hot Dogs and Haggis . . . . . Food, Recipes
Lesson #195 - Exercising With Animals . . . . . Exercise, Pets
Lesson #194 - Raking . . . . . Landscaping, Snow
Lesson #193 - The Quality of Movies . . . . . Happiness, Movies
Lesson #192 - Stupid Ideas . . . . . Ideas, Pets, Stupidity
Lesson #191 - Explanation of DEFCON Status . . . . . Defense, War

Lesson #190 - Winter Driving . . . . . Driving, Snow, Weather
Lesson #189 - Fertility Rate . . . . . Babies, Happiness, Life, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #188 - Creative Ideas . . . . . Brain Explosions, Ideas, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #187 - Break-Up Songs . . . . . Music, Quadrant Graph, Relationships
Lesson #186 - Final Exams . . . . . College, Drinking, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #185 - Presidential Nicknames . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Nicknames, Politics, Quadrant Graph
Lesson #184 - Shoe Sizes . . . . . NBA, Shoes
Lesson #183 - Baby Names . . . . . Children, Classics, Names
Recitation #7 - Interruptions . . . . . Class, FPI, Janitors
Lesson #182 - Posture . . . . . Age, Posture, Rebels Without Causes
Lesson #181 - Hair Dye . . . . . Gravitas, Hair

Lesson #180 - Prescription Drugs . . . . . Doctors, Drugs, Heroin
Lesson #179 - Eating Meat . . . . . Dieting, Food, Logic, Meat
Lesson #178 - Caffeine Tolerance . . . . . Children, Coffee
Lesson #177 - Mashed Potatoes . . . . . Food, Holidays, Potatoes
Lesson #176 - Thanksgiving Chemicals . . . . . Chemicals, Food, Holidays
Lesson #175 - Turkey . . . . . Food, Holidays, Lifestyles
Lesson #174 - Backseat Driving . . . . . Annoyances, Drivers, Elderly
Lesson #173 - Armageddon . . . . . Apocalypse, Insects
Lesson #172 - Weather . . . . . Axioms, Weather
Lesson #171 - Childhood Nostalgia, Part II . . . . . Cartoons, Future, Ninja Turtles

Lesson #170 - Cereal . . . . . Breakfast
Recitation #6 - Hate Mail . . . . . Insults, Letters to the Editor
Lesson #169 - Rational Explanations of Irrational Phobias, Part III . . . . . Nudity, Phobias
Lesson #168 - First Drafts, Part II . . . . . Editing, Grapefruit, Shakespeare
Lesson #167 - The Bible . . . . . Hypocrisy, Menstruation, Politics, Religion
Lesson #166 - Smells . . . . . Aromas, Mornings
Lesson #165 - Multi-tasking . . . . . Attention, Biking, Internet
Lesson #164 - Sneakers . . . . . Footwear, Laundry
Recitation #5 - The Creative Process . . . . . Creativity, Cynicism
Lesson #163 - Sports Radio . . . . . Debate, Radio, Sports
Lesson #162 - Career Reading . . . . . Books, Careers, Music, Religion
Lesson #161 - Musical Genres . . . . . Mathematics, Music, Techno

Lesson #160 - First Drafts . . . . . Editing, Shakespeare
Lesson #159 - Supplement Commercials . . . . . Television, Vitamins
Lesson #158 - Old Age . . . . . Aging
Lesson #157 - God and Man . . . . . Religion, Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Lesson #156 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part II . . . . . Abuse of Power, Justice
Lesson #155 - Sandals . . . . . Awkward Stares, Footwear, Weather
Lesson #154 - Forms of Government . . . . . Politics, Vassals
Lesson #153 - Military Mascots . . . . . Mascots, Military, Pets, Soldiers
Lesson #152 - Sports vs. Love . . . . . Relationships, Sports
Lesson #151 - Autumn . . . . . Fall, Foliage

Lesson #150 - Halloween Superstitions . . . . . Ghosts, Halloween, Superstitions
Lesson #149 - Zombie Politics . . . . . Halloween, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #148 - Halloween For Pets . . . . . Halloween, Pets
Lesson #147 - Childhood Nostalgia . . . . . Food, Monsters, Sesame Street
Lesson #146 - Sports Broadcasting . . . . . "Analysts", Silence Is Golden, Sports, Venn Diagrams
Lesson #145 - Fraternities . . . . . College, Drinking, Greek System, Sports Metaphors
Lesson #144 - Disaster Movies . . . . . Movies, Nature, Weather
Lesson #143 - Sports vs. Politics . . . . . Overwhelming Negativity, Politics, Sports
Lesson #142 - Sports vs. Religion . . . . . God, Religion, Sports
Lesson #141 - Constellations . . . . . The Ethereal Heavens, Society

Lesson #140 - Definitions, Part IV . . . . . Hands, Monarchies
Lesson #139 - Singing Out Loud . . . . . Awkward Stares, Music, Satire, Society
Lesson #138 - The Professional World . . . . . Parenting, Sports Metaphors, Workplace
Lesson #137 - Anger On The Roadways . . . . . Biking, Famous Historical Figures, Road Rage
Lesson #136 - Time Travel . . . . . Science, Younger Self
Lesson #135 - Non-Violent Protests . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Pie
Lesson #134 - Drinking Games . . . . . Age Appropriate, Alcohol, Hypocrisy, Politics
Lesson #133 - Artistic Rendering Of Philosophies: Nihilism . . . . . Philosophy
Lesson #132 - Twitter . . . . . Digital Announcements, Interpersonal Communication
Lesson #131 - Going Home . . . . . Being Oblivious, Home, Parents

Lesson #130 - Autographs . . . . . Authors, Hockey
Lesson #129 - Bad Cocktail Ideas . . . . . Common Sense, Drinking, Recipes
Lesson #128 - Rational Explanations Of Irrational Phobias, Part II . . . . . Darkness, Phobias
Lesson #127 - Scientific Conferences . . . . . Conferences, Professors, Science, Students
Lesson #126 - Finding Religion . . . . . Religion, Sports
Lesson #125 - Writing . . . . . Authors, Career Paths
Lesson #124 - Historical Retrospective: The Roaring Twenties . . . . . Those Who Forget Their History Allow The Minor Details To Stay Forgotten
Lesson #123 - Tech Support . . . . . Computers, Internet
Lesson #122 - Morning Coffee . . . . . Coffee, Mornings
Lesson #121 - Rational Explanations Of Irrational Phobias, Part I . . . . . Heights, Phobias

Lesson #120 - "Magic" Tricks . . . . . Bears, Magic
Lesson #119 - Definitions, Part III . . . . . Famous Historical Figures, Fighting Crap On The Internet, Politics
Lesson #118 - Pronunciation . . . . . Public Speaking
Lesson #117 - Voting . . . . . Elections, Politics
Lesson #116 - Award Shows . . . . . Celebrities, Flawed Life Philosophies
Recitation #4 - Base Of Operations . . . . . Fight Songs, FPI
Lesson #115 - Things You Never Hear . . ., Part I . . . . . Conversations, Religion
Lesson #114 - Dinner Conversations . . . . . Conversations, Politics, Religion
Lesson #113 - Athletic Apparel . . . . . Biking, Exercise, Incredibly Awkward Sights
Lesson #112 - Children Preparation . . . . . Children, Pets
Lesson #111 - Scientific Advancements . . . . . Energy, Medicine, Science

Lesson #110 - Natural Family Planning . . . . . Children, Presentation Skills
Lesson #109 - Etymology: German . . . . . Etymology, Lawn Decoration, Vandalism
Lesson #108 - Guinness . . . . . Beer, Ireland, Science
Lesson #107 - Gyms . . . . . Dieting, Exercise, Gyms
Lesson #106 - Natural Bodily Processes . . . . . Mornings, Nature, Salad Accessories
Lesson #105 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XV . . . . . College, Dieting, Weight Gain
Lesson #104 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XIV . . . . . College, Life, Professors
Lesson #103 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XIII . . . . . College, Parties
Lesson #102 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XII . . . . . Beer, College, Germaphobia, Roommates
Lesson #101 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part XI . . . . . College, Music

Lesson #100 - Re-reading . . . . . Books, Classics, Finishing Touches
Lesson #99 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part X . . . . . College, Sex
Lesson #98 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part IX . . . . . Beer, College, Refrigerators
Lesson #97 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VIII . . . . . College, Food, Halfway Houses
Lesson #96 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VII . . . . . College, Professors
Lesson #95 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part VI . . . . . College, Parties
Lesson #94 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part V . . . . . College, Rodent Rebellions
Lesson #93 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part IV . . . . . College, Food
Lesson #92 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part III . . . . . College, Dorms, Temperature
Lesson #91 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part II . . . . . College, Mornings, Showers

Lesson #90 - The Freshmen Fifteen, Part I . . . . . Camp, College, Women
Lesson #89 - Monster Movies . . . . . Movies
Lesson #88 - Birthday Gifts . . . . . Birthdays, Gifts
Lesson #87 - Alien Observations And Interpretations Of Normal Human Activity . . . . . Aliens, Pets, Relationships
Lesson #86 - Biking . . . . . Biking, Signals, Unclean Language
Lesson #85 - Crosswords . . . . . Crosswords, Symmetry
Lesson #84 - Scurvy . . . . . College, Dieting, Pirates
Lesson #83 - Irish Diplomacy . . . . . Alcohol, Ireland
Lesson #82 - The Olympics . . . . . Sports, Television
Lesson #81 - Road Construction . . . . . Detours, Greek Mythology, Logic

Lesson #80 - Catharsis . . . . . Awkward Stares, Primal Scream
Lesson #79 - Definitions, Part II . . . . . Food
Lesson #78 - Modern Art . . . . . Art, Critics
Lesson #77 - Seasonal Affective Disorder . . . . . Seasons, Weather
Lesson #76 - Work Ethic . . . . . Productivity, Work Ethic
Lesson #75 - Weathermen . . . . . Television, Weather
Recitation #3 - Flying . . . . . Airports, National Security
Lesson #74 - Time Zones . . . . . Time
Lesson #73 - Campaign Promises . . . . . Politics
Lesson #72 - Entrance Themes . . . . . Baseball, Music
Lesson #71 - Alternate Universes (An Attempted Two-Dimensional Rendering Of An Infinitely-Directional, Near-Incomprehensible Concept) . . . . . Alternate Realities, Music, Robots, Teeth, Vampires

Lesson #70 - Society And iRobot . . . . . Chores, Pets, Robots
Lesson #69 - Political Correctness . . . . . Lifeitselfmanship, Society
Lesson #68 - Roommate Approval Process . . . . . Questionnaire, Roommates
Lesson #67 - Road Signs . . . . . Punctuation, Road Signs
Lesson #66 - Germaphobes And Their Pets . . . . . Germaphobia, Pets
Lesson #65 - Long-Distance Relationships . . . . . Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome, Relationships
Lesson #64 - Newlyweds . . . . . Marriage, Relationships
Lesson #63 - Drivers . . . . . Common Sense, Driving
Lesson #62 - Music On The Radio . . . . . Flow Chart, Genres, Music, Radio
Lesson #61 - Children . . . . . Children, Men, Thought Process

Lesson #60 - Web Domains . . . . . Why Fighting Crap On The Internet Is Hard, Self-Promotion
Lesson #59 - Annoying Strangers . . . . . Forrest Gump, Running
Lesson #58 - Experience . . . . . Life, Trust
Lesson #57 - Subjectivity . . . . . Math, Stephen Hawking, Subjectivity
Lesson #56 - Discrimination . . . . . Diversity, Future, Society
Lesson #55 - Scientific Love . . . . . College, Engineering, Romance
Lesson #54 - Nicknames . . . . . Bell Curve, Roommates
Lesson #53 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part III . . . . . Careers, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #52 - Conversations . . . . . Interests, Science
Lesson #51 - Definitions, Part I . . . . . Architecture

Lesson #50 - Laundry . . . . . Pasta, Socks
Lesson #49 - News Networks . . . . . Color Chalk, Objectivity, Politics, Pundits, Television
Lesson #48 - The Top Ten . . . . . Future, Lifetime, Moments
Lesson #47 - Perspectives . . . . . Exhaustion, Marathons, Politics, Vagrants
Lesson #46 - Global Powers . . . . . Countries, Superheroes
Lesson #45 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely), Part II . . . . . Alaska, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #44 - Board Games . . . . . Board Games, Pop Culture
Lesson #43 - Assistants . . . . . Flow Chart, Work Ethic
Lesson #42 - Aging . . . . . Age, Music
Lesson #41 - Pedestrians . . . . . Conversations, Traffic, Walking
Recitation #2 - Answering "Why We Are Here" . . . . . Baked Goods, The French

Lesson #40 - What Will Happen If Literalists Take Over The World (Why We Should Watch Them Closely) . . . . . Catapults, Food, Literalists, Recipes
Lesson #39 - All-Star Games . . . . . Baseball, Fandom, Television
Lesson #38 - Bar Arguments . . . . . Bar Arguments, Twilight Zone, Zombies
Lesson #37 - Religious Origins . . . . . Catholicism, NBA
Lesson #36 - Weddings . . . . . Pets, Weddings
Lesson #35 - Little Girls . . . . . Nursery Rhymes, Spices
Lesson #34 - Fireworks . . . . . Bell Curve, Celebrations
Lesson #33 - Justice . . . . . Justice
Lesson #32 - College Choosing, Part II . . . . . College, Science
Lesson #31 - Teleporation . . . . . Politics, Science

Lesson #30 - Egocentricity . . . . . Ego, Tokyo
Lesson #29 - Civil Unions . . . . . Homosexuality, Marriage, Platypi
Lesson #28 - Upbringing . . . . . Childhood, Parents
Recitation #1 - Answering "Why" . . . . . Comedy
Lesson #27 - Mornings . . . . . Fear, Pets, Radio
Lesson #26 - Laboratory Safety . . . . . Fashion, Safety
Lesson #25 - Carpe Diem . . . . . Future, NBA, Politics
Lesson #24 - Song Lyrics . . . . . Irony, Lyrics
Lesson #23 - Bounds of Friendship . . . . . Friends, Jellyfish
Lesson #22 - Relationship Curve . . . . . Bell Curve, Relationships
Lesson #21 - Future Career . . . . . Career, School

Lesson #20 - Minority Status . . . . . East Coast Bias, Minorities, Science
Lesson #19 - Camp . . . . . Camp
Lesson #18 - Two-Timing . . . . . Happiness, Relationships
Lesson #17 - The President . . . . . Diversity, Politics, Zombies
Lesson #16 - Vegetarians . . . . . Dieting, Vegetarians
Lesson #15 - Family Movies . . . . . Movies, Parenting
Lesson #14 - Friendship . . . . . Friends, Sex
Lesson #13 - Anti-drugs . . . . . Drugs, Pets
Lesson #12 - Sleepwalking . . . . . Sex
Lesson #11 - College Choosing, Part I . . . . . College

Lesson #10 - Politics . . . . . Children, Politics
Lesson #9 - Decisions . . . . . Life, Logic
Lesson #8 - Grammar . . . . . Grammar, Society
Lesson #7 - College Location . . . . . College, Family
Lesson #6 - Marriage . . . . . Romance
Lesson #5 - Fame . . . . . Career, Future, Success
Lesson #4 - Compromising . . . . . Pets, Relationships
Lesson #3 - College Majors . . . . . College, Future
Lesson #2 - Dieting . . . . . Dieting
Lesson #1 - Best Times . . . . . High School, Life