Lesson #2732 - Bad Children's Books

Just imagine, imagine, the things that you'll see
When you help yourself to just a little whiskey
Just throw back a shot and maybe one more
And then before you crash down to the floor
But after you've had yourself a beer or two
And maybe some vodka and tequila too
And a drink of the bartender's special red slurry
Well then after everything's become rather blurry
Imagine how pretty all the people will seem
So pretty! So handsome! Why, it'd be like a dream
And look! See yourself get in quit a few grooves
With the greatest of all the great possible dance moves
And you'll be the best in a fight! You'll be on a roll
(Although the guy that you fought kind of looked like a pole)
What a great night you will have! It'll seem such a fluke!
And . . . then you'll wake up in a pile of puke.

(I'm available, literary agents)