Lesson #1568 - Storm Names

Winter storms in the U.S. have actually been named by Channel 3 News in Connecticut since the 1970's - something that, to my great delight, they boasted as something they did exclusively over this period of time. Which made it weird, as you'd have Connecticut residents discussing "Storm Emma" or something like that, and NO ONE outside of the state had any clue what you were talking about.

So now the Weather Channel has decided they'll start naming storms by themselves (possibly causing there to be storms with two names, at least in Connecticut), and boy, have they done an amazing job. Look at those names! It is clear that someone was not being allowed to name his/her children and/or pets, and so decided to go hog-wild with storm names once he/she was given some naming freedom.

This only furthers my desire to unilaterally create a topnotch squad of individuals interested in naming other weather patterns. Specifically, clouds. Every morning, I will throw back the curtains of my castle turret, wait for the trumpets to subside, and then announce to the gathered masses, "Today, all clouds are named . . . Horace." Or, you know, we'll post it online or something. You can have your storms, weather channels . . . but the cumulonimbus are ours.