Surviving the World

A Photocomic Education by Dante Shepherd

Lesson #3270 - Tough Mudder (Pre-Event)

I'm doing a Tough Mudder today that one of my former and favorite students, Lexi, talked me into doing with her. I've been training all year and my legs are now strong enough that they could probably successfully wrestle a bear to the ground, if you tied knives to them or something. I have also accidentally disrupted at least two romantic kissing sessions by running by a happy couple during one of my 10 PM jogs around the neighborhood, so karma has it out for me today. Anyway, I don't think a Tough Mudder is a true representation of a possible dystopia but an obstacle called the "Arctic Enema" suggests that it might be? Here is my favorite conversation with my five-year-old about the Tough Mudder in which she totally did not understand me:

Cannonball: Dad, why are you going on a run tonight?

Me: I'm trying to get in topnotch shape for this race-event-thing.

Cannonball: What's in the race?

Me: Well, it's 10 miles. But there are also a lot of obstacles. So I'm probably going to have to crawl through mud, and probably going to have to climb over a wall, and I'm probably going to get shocked.

Cannonball: (horrified) Shots? Dad, no! Shots hurt!

Me: No, no, not shots. Shocked. Shocked.

Cannonball: (even more horrified) No, Dad! Not sharks! Sharks bite!