Lesson #1879 - Dumb Holidays, Part I

There is very little comparable to the extremely minor joy that I get when reading through lists of apparently-official-but-probably-really-not official holidays. This joy has developed since the fourth grade, when I discovered that March 1st was apparently National Pig Day. But really, do you have any idea about how ridiculous some of these holidays are? For example, today, September 18th, is both Mushroom Picking Day and National Play-doh Day. I mean, seriously, what are those? September 5th was National Cheese Pizza Day? September 2nd was National Blueberry Popsicle Day?

I now have no qualms about all those fake holidays I created for the STW calendar. None whatsoever. If you are eventually offended by what I've created, you should be more offended by WHAT ALREADY EXISTS FOR SOME REASON. Holy hark.