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Homework: Math
1/13/12

THE ASSIGNMENT: Most dimensionless numbers are named after the person who creates them and are a unitless relationship of terms - as in the Reynolds number is equal to diameter times velocity times density divided by viscosity. With that in mind, define the mathematical term named after you. Would the "Horace number" be happiness divided by poor decisions multiplied by cats? Be creative. Bonus points if you can make your number actually dimensionless.

(Note: all those who did not list their location are listed as hailing from Aberdeen.)

BEST ANSWER
Rae in Aberdeen:

OTHER EXCELLENT ANSWERS
David in Mentone, CA:
From my one sentence philosophy of life:

             ''Being forgetful makes it easier for me to like myself.'',

I submit the Glee Quotient (or simply GQ).

   NR = number of life events remembered (in units of memories)
   NF = number of life events forgotten (in units of memories)

   NR / NF = GQ

A dimensionless number that equals the ratio of events remembered in one's life to the number of events forgotten.  The numerator and denominator are exclusive and exhaustive subsets of the same set, NT = 'total number of life events', so

    NT = NR + NF

As the number of life events (and the number of memories kept and lost) increases with age the ratio, GQ, may or may not change.  But if you graph NR (on Y axis) vs NF (on X axis), the ratio is simply a slope.  A large slope indicates difficulty in liking one's self; think of the slope as a long arduous climb to self respect or something like that.  If the slope is low than than it's an easy, leisurely stroll to a healthy self esteem.

Matthew in Aberdeen:
The Minneman Number:

The Minneman number measures the probability randomly of being asked a computer/internet related question by a complete stranger.

The measurement is calculated by adding the cuteness of any animals you are currently holding with how advanced the technologies you carry with you are and then dividing that sum by the product of how loud those around you are and how stylish you look. 

There is a limit to this equation. If you want to talk to the random person in question the Minneman number is zero.

Thomas in Illinois:


Holly in Aberdeen:
The Holly number: A measure of your current degree of reading variety:

(Library Adjustment Factor)*(Average times you've read the books on your shelf)^(Number of books on your shelf) ___________________________________________________________________________________
(Average times you've read the books currently scattered around your reading chair)^(Books around your reading chair)

The library adjustment factor is still being experimentally determined, but one model for it is

(1+ Trips to library in last 3 months)^(Number of books borrowed)
_________________________________________________
(1+Trips to bookstore in last 3 months)^(Number of books bought)


Jason from Aberdeen:
The Jason number would be the number of moves in a chess game times the percentage of pieces gone in that game, not counting kings, (as represented by a fraction of 1), all divided by the number  of spectators minus the number of girls in the room squared; then, taking that entire number, multiplied by pi. Hopefully, your number is constantly low, provided that it means that your crowd's male to female ratio is not horrid. Basically:

M x (c/30) 
________
                  x    3.14159... = ?  
S - (G^2)


Nate from Texas:



Jordan in New York:
The Nigel Factor: A measure of British citizens' worthiness to the Queen.

N' = (m Ln) / (ρc Mc (Dec t)^2)

Where
ρc  = Crumpet density in crumpets per cubic meter
Mc = specific mass of a crumpet in Kg per crumpet
Ln = Characteristic length scale based upon the nose in meters
Dec = Effective Diffusivity of crumpets through the nose in meters squared per second
t = Time spent out of England in seconds
m = Mass of the nose in Kg

For Nigel Factor >> 1, accent approaches comical Englishman, not unlike Nigel Thornberry (voiced by Tim Curry) , who the Nigel Factor is named for.
For Nigel Factor << 1, Accent degrades to an unknown form much like Christian Bale's, usually due to so much overseas travel creating a larger difference in crumpets within and outside of the British citizen, therefore increasing the driving force in crumpet excretion.

Rodrigo from Lima, Peru:
1 Rodrigo = N*D

N= Number of male prostitutes it takes to satisfy every women who belongs to royalty in spain.
D= Days left to 21/12/2012 

Hailey Barnard in Huntington Beach:

The Barnard's number

Li (level of spontaneous inspiration)
Tss (time in hours since last slept)
Ns (level of necessity to have a good night sleep)

Li=Tss x Ns

Leo from Mississippi:

The Leo Number: Amount of free time/boredom x number of assignments being put off x funny comics online

Samantha from Exton, PA:
The Samantha number (Sa): aspirations times college degree times skills minus location.

Mike in Dekalb, IL:


Cameron in Aberdeen:
The Cameron Integer: a way of determining how well you are succeeding at life, regarding social and personal life. A perfect 0 is total perfect balance.

The Cameron Integer: [M- 25]+ f ≥ 50

M= How well you are doing at Minecraft between 0 to 100
f= friends on facebook

Matthew in Denton, Texas:

Hall's number (HN) = (Ha - Sm)/Ne

where 
Ha (1-100) = happiness derived from reading
Sm (1-100) = smugness from having read
Ne (1-10) = nerdiness from being seen reading (or blank stares of people when told what is being read).

If HN is lower than 10, then read more advanced books.

Matt in Farmington, ME:
The Vladimer Number is equal to the number of awkward first conversations (AFC) multiplied by ego (E) divided by pseudonyms (P).

The equation looks like this: Vladimer Number = (AFC)*E/P

Bill Sakalucks in Madison, WI:

1 Sakalaucks:
The amount of work delayed over a certain time that can be completed in a miniscule amount of effort and time.

A TANGENT, BUT WE'LL ALLOW IT BASED ON THE AGES INVOLVED
Jennifer in The Woodlands, TX:
Not entirely relevant, but I thought you might enjoy the fact that my 6 year old has made up his own number.  One day for some unknown reason, I was trying to explain the concept of infinity to him.  He initially found it annoying, and eventually decided that there was another number, called “bubble balloon-balloon,”  where: bubble balloon-balloon = infinity – 1. 

Of course this is the same kid that tells me he wants to grow up to be an astrophysicist so that he can study stars “ksploding”.  In my fantasy world, he one day discovers the grant unifying theory, and the math requires using the value (infinity – 1).

BLATANT DISREGARD FOR THE CONCEPT, BUT STILL QUITE USEFUL
Elspeth in the UK:

Kowalski Contant: multiply by this number to get the correct answer.

It is neither constant nor is my name Kowalski.
It is whatever dimensions it needs to be.

A GOOD ALMOST-FINAL POINT
John in Aberdeen:

Stiglers law says that no scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. Stigler attributed his law to Robert Merton, acknowledging that Stigler’s law obeys Stigler’s law.

Therefore, I should be defining the mathematical term named after you, and someone else should be naming the term for me... though I am not sure which one would in fact be easier, because after all, all mathematicians are in fact lazy, and I include myself in that group, even if I did turn this in almost instantly. I also will almost certainly not get full credit for my submission.

AND FINALLY, A THESIS
In order to define the “Josh” number (Jo), a measure of one’s ability to mentally cope with a disturbing situation, there are a few other values which must be defined first:

  • The Bunny number, Bu, defined as the number of fluffy bunnies one could conceivably witness being obliterated at point-blank range via shotgun blast prior to attempting to stop the senseless slaughter by any means necessary,
  • Inebriation level, IB, defined as the number of pints of beer (at ~5.5% ABV) the individual had consumed immediately prior to the situation occurring plus one,
  • The Horror level, Ho, defined as the number of pints of beer the individual would have to consume in order to adequately cope with the situation,
  • The Rationalization factor, Ra, defined as the fraction of the situation’s horror that the individual cannot rationalize or explain away (range from 0 to 1), and
  • The situational Shock Value, Sh, defined as how badly the situation shocks the individual, measured in equivalent fluffy bunnies obliterated via shotgun blast.

With all of that taken care of, the Josh number is defined as follows:
                              EQUATION                                           Equation 1
The higher a person’s Josh value for a given situation, the better they are able to cope with said situation.  It should be noted that a person’s Josh number is the direct inverse of their Sanity value, Sa:
                             EQUATION                                                  Equation 2
As the Josh number increases and a person’s ability to cope with disturbing situations increases, the less sane (or more drunk) they are.  This is true for a number of reasons which would take too long to explain in full but can be briefly summarized:

  • The more bunnies one could witness obliterated by shotgun, the lower one’s sanity. This should be obvious to any normal person (unless you hate bunnies for some reason, you evil, evil bastard)
  • The less a terrible situation shocks/horrifies someone, the more jaded and dehumanized they are.
  • The more of a terrible situation someone can rationalize away, the less connected they are to reality. (Justification ≠ rationalization for purposes of the Josh number, but that’s an entirely different philosophical debate)
  • Enough beer will make just about anybody okay with just about anything.

There is also a variant on the Josh number known as the extreme Josh number, JE.  All factors are the same, except that Ho and IB are measured in pints of rum instead of pints of beer.  IB ­is also usually changed to IR to denote that the extreme Josh number is being used, though it remains known as the Inebriation factor.

 
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